THE FORUMS
Weird 'game glitch' / Advanced problem
she just feels the "butterflies" around you and doesn't want to "fuck up" around you or seem weird
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Could be the case, she told me that in a new environment / in a bar she is used to let guys do a lot of work in order to get her and she just feels like she at that moment thinks that I "haven't done all the work" so I do not have the right to be so close to her / have strong eye contact with her right away. Could be social pressure. (?) ( I obviously think this is irrelevant and do whatever the fuck I like ).
wtf, she's putting herself on a pedestal....you shouldve told her to stfu lol
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wtf, she's putting herself on a pedestal....you shouldve told her to stfu lol
Haha, I know, I guess maybe she's doing that to validate herself as she's jealeous as fuck. 
Indeed, weird, that you are unable to handle this (i.e. you're reactive), while you seem to grounded (unreactive) with all the other girls?
Some dudes above here being defensive and negative, I guess that won't help you.
You are not badly callibrated, your girls is not being weird.
If your girl is jealous, that's her problem, not yours.
Doesn't mean you should tell her to stfu or that you can't have any empathy.
Only means that you shouldn't adjust yourself to her.
A girl likes to feel special. A girl likes to get validation, attention. A girl likes a man that makes her feel good.
You are giving that to her, that why she likes you...
... but when you give it to everybody, then it's not special anymore!
She can't take your self-love as a personal compliment anymore,
she can't boost her self-esteem by your self-love if it's not specially for her...!
She is the one who shouldn't get a high out of you, but rather find her own happiness.
She can't blame you for not getting that, she has to take responsibility..!
As for her becoming nervous or looking away when you look at her like that -- it would suggest to me she has quite a shield; a barrier; she finds it difficult to show herself, to be vulnerable.
(That's also why she's looking for outside validation properly).
I would encourage her to stay with the tension, to investigate together what closes her down.
I wouldn't get mad or react emotionally when she acts jealous -- she is just a silly little insecure girl, don't let that get to you, don't blame her for that.. see the sweetness of it!
Be caring, but unreactive (not budging, adapting, adjusting).
Try to understand why she is jealous, and tell her your view (not "it's your problem, stfu" or "don't act weird" but
"I enjoy what we have, what we have is nice and special, don't you feel it? I feel it! And whatever I have with these other girls, that's just with the other girls....that will not come between you and me. You can trust that we have a wonderfull time together, so don't be scared.... and don't be possesive or claim me -- you can't have me, not like that -- because as soon as we start claiming and needing eachother to feel good, the magic is gone, and we end up controlling eachother, managing eachothers emotions.. it's difficult enough to manage your own emotions, let alone if you feel also responsible for the other! And I think it's way more courageous to have the trust you'll enjoy eachother, then to go for security by restricting eachother.."
adapt this rant to your own taste, it's what I would say.
EDIT: Or whatever you feel, she feels.
And if you feel uncomfortable or don't know what to do, no wonder she's acting weird.
It's just a reflection of your own discomfort.
Just try to be comfortable, chill & relax, do whatever you like.
Some dudes above here being defensive and negative, I guess that won't help you.
You are not badly callibrated, your girls is not being weird.
If your girl is jealous, that's her problem, not yours.
Doesn't mean you should tell her to stfu or that you can't have any empathy.
Only means that you shouldn't adjust yourself to her.
A girl likes to feel special. A girl likes to get validation, attention. A girl likes a man that makes her feel good.
You are giving that to her, that why she likes you...
... but when you give it to everybody, then it's not special anymore!
She can't take your self-love as a personal compliment anymore,
she can't boost her self-esteem by your self-love if it's not specially for her...!
She is the one who shouldn't get a high out of you, but rather find her own happiness.
She can't blame you for not getting that, she has to take responsibility..!
As for her becoming nervous or looking away when you look at her like that -- it would suggest to me she has quite a shield; a barrier; she finds it difficult to show herself, to be vulnerable.
(That's also why she's looking for outside validation properly).
I would encourage her to stay with the tension, to investigate together what closes her down.
I wouldn't get mad or react emotionally when she acts jealous -- she is just a silly little insecure girl, don't let that get to you, don't blame her for that.. see the sweetness of it!
Be caring, but unreactive (not budging, adapting, adjusting).
Try to understand why she is jealous, and tell her your view (not "it's your problem, stfu" or "don't act weird" but
"I enjoy what we have, what we have is nice and special, don't you feel it? I feel it! And whatever I have with these other girls, that's just with the other girls....that will not come between you and me. You can trust that we have a wonderfull time together, so don't be scared.... and don't be possesive or claim me -- you can't have me, not like that -- because as soon as we start claiming and needing eachother to feel good, the magic is gone, and we end up controlling eachother, managing eachothers emotions.. it's difficult enough to manage your own emotions, let alone if you feel also responsible for the other! And I think it's way more courageous to have the trust you'll enjoy eachother, then to go for security by restricting eachother.."
adapt this rant to your own taste, it's what I would say.
EDIT: Or whatever you feel, she feels.
And if you feel uncomfortable or don't know what to do, no wonder she's acting weird.
It's just a reflection of your own discomfort.
Just try to be comfortable, chill & relax, do whatever you like.
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wel heb ik je ooit!
Hey Markzor,
Thank you very much for your detailed answer. I'm glad you are giving me some pointers to handle her jealousy, it has been kind of a problem as she's trying to restrict me in what I can and cannot do.
As you are saying, when I give my attention to other girls, it's not special for her anymore. I like your empathized way of handling the situation, will use what you are writing here.
And indeed, I need to be more relaxed and do whatever I like so she also feels that.
Thank you very much!
P.s. Ik zie dat je Nederlands bent, tof!
Thank you very much for your detailed answer. I'm glad you are giving me some pointers to handle her jealousy, it has been kind of a problem as she's trying to restrict me in what I can and cannot do.
As you are saying, when I give my attention to other girls, it's not special for her anymore. I like your empathized way of handling the situation, will use what you are writing here.
And indeed, I need to be more relaxed and do whatever I like so she also feels that.
Thank you very much!
P.s. Ik zie dat je Nederlands bent, tof!
I don't think I'd consider this an advanced problem...
I'd consider this a WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE COUPLES THAT GOES TO THE CLUB TOGETHER problem. Stop being a fag and be a normal couple that watches a movie, has sex, and is asleep by 11PM. Bitch.
I'd consider this a WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE COUPLES THAT GOES TO THE CLUB TOGETHER problem. Stop being a fag and be a normal couple that watches a movie, has sex, and is asleep by 11PM. Bitch.
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Read my review of Get Laid or Die Trying
My personal philosophy: You need to step to every single girl like a fucking bomb. You need to have presence. You need to stand out, and not in a surface level way such as what you're wearing, but as who you are and the way in which you communicate. You need to be unforgettable. You need to create a sense of urgency, that you are now or never. You need to push and at the same time be completely willing to walk away. It is essential to disidentify with the ego, otherwise the inherent rejection associated with pickup will destroy you.
"You need to let them know what kind of man you are, so they know what kind of woman to be."
"Fear is always a constant, but accepting it...makes you stronger."
"Once you done slayed 20-30 of them hoodrats, now you ready to go up to the upper echelon type ho."
"I've got no game. And every face looks the same. They've got no name. So I don't need game to play. I just say whatever I want to whoever I want. Whenever I want, wherever I want, however I want."
My personal philosophy: You need to step to every single girl like a fucking bomb. You need to have presence. You need to stand out, and not in a surface level way such as what you're wearing, but as who you are and the way in which you communicate. You need to be unforgettable. You need to create a sense of urgency, that you are now or never. You need to push and at the same time be completely willing to walk away. It is essential to disidentify with the ego, otherwise the inherent rejection associated with pickup will destroy you.
"You need to let them know what kind of man you are, so they know what kind of woman to be."
"Fear is always a constant, but accepting it...makes you stronger."
"Once you done slayed 20-30 of them hoodrats, now you ready to go up to the upper echelon type ho."
"I've got no game. And every face looks the same. They've got no name. So I don't need game to play. I just say whatever I want to whoever I want. Whenever I want, wherever I want, however I want."
Well first off I'm no expert on this and you probably have much more game than me, bit from what I've seen of Tyler's Blueprint and Alexanders videos these are probably the normal reactions a girl SHOULD feel when she's around a high status guy.
SShe is pinging off and reacting to the enviroment because, as a girl, she is supposed to, girls draw state from the enviroment. (Tyler -Blueprint) and she is seeking reassurance from you. I think Alexanders recent videos relate directly to this, watch his latest on how a high value guy's role is to influence the girl. As a high value male you draw state from within, that is the goal of masculine polarity after all. A woman is supposed to feed off of you! She doesn't have as strong a mental state and nor should she. She is feminine, is ruled by emotions not logic and you are her oak tree. Instead of wondering what's wrong with her, love her for feminine insecurities and need for a strong male and provide the influence (Alexander) and reassurance she needs.
Personally I think it's a great problem to have and sounds exactly like the kind of situation Alexander is referring to in his latest video about intermediate to advanced pickup.
Just remember that as males we are striving to have strong masculine polarity whereas a woman is supposed to be feminine. Therefore in a way you are both expressing the correct emotional states when out. Accept her state, it's feminine polarity and sexy as hell I think, and use your masculine polarity to reassure and comfort her.
I should stress I am new to this site and stuff, so might be wrong, but I like to try and analyse these situations to see if I'm understanding concepts correctly and welcome ffedback on my own views as well.
SShe is pinging off and reacting to the enviroment because, as a girl, she is supposed to, girls draw state from the enviroment. (Tyler -Blueprint) and she is seeking reassurance from you. I think Alexanders recent videos relate directly to this, watch his latest on how a high value guy's role is to influence the girl. As a high value male you draw state from within, that is the goal of masculine polarity after all. A woman is supposed to feed off of you! She doesn't have as strong a mental state and nor should she. She is feminine, is ruled by emotions not logic and you are her oak tree. Instead of wondering what's wrong with her, love her for feminine insecurities and need for a strong male and provide the influence (Alexander) and reassurance she needs.
Personally I think it's a great problem to have and sounds exactly like the kind of situation Alexander is referring to in his latest video about intermediate to advanced pickup.
Just remember that as males we are striving to have strong masculine polarity whereas a woman is supposed to be feminine. Therefore in a way you are both expressing the correct emotional states when out. Accept her state, it's feminine polarity and sexy as hell I think, and use your masculine polarity to reassure and comfort her.
I should stress I am new to this site and stuff, so might be wrong, but I like to try and analyse these situations to see if I'm understanding concepts correctly and welcome ffedback on my own views as well.
Well first off I'm no expert on this and you probably have much more game than me, bit from what I've seen of Tyler's Blueprint and Alexanders videos these are probably the normal reactions a girl SHOULD feel when she's around a high status guy.
SShe is pinging off and reacting to the enviroment because, as a girl, she is supposed to, girls draw state from the enviroment. (Tyler -Blueprint) and she is seeking reassurance from you. I think Alexanders recent videos relate directly to this, watch his latest on how a high value guy's role is to influence the girl. As a high value male you draw state from within, that is the goal of masculine polarity after all. A woman is supposed to feed off of you! She doesn't have as strong a mental state and nor should she. She is feminine, is ruled by emotions not logic and you are her oak tree. Instead of wondering what's wrong with her, love her for feminine insecurities and need for a strong male and provide the influence (Alexander) and reassurance she needs.
Personally I think it's a great problem to have and sounds exactly like the kind of situation Alexander is referring to in his latest video about intermediate to advanced pickup.
Just remember that as males we are striving to have strong masculine polarity whereas a woman is supposed to be feminine. Therefore in a way you are both expressing the correct emotional states when out. Accept her state, it's feminine polarity and sexy as hell I think, and use your masculine polarity to reassure and comfort her.
I should stress I am new to this site and stuff, so might be wrong, but I like to try and analyse these situations to see if I'm understanding concepts correctly and welcome ffedback on my own views as well.
Well, you seem to be very knowledgeable about this :) and not so much a newbie as you might think. You're totally right man. I saw those videos too and this is exactly what this girl is doing. The problem is, as I now understand because of all the replies, that I was being outcome dependent and more focusing on how she would feel and worrying about that instead of being the man and feeling good in my own body. Because I like this girl so much, a bit of chode me sometimes comes back causing me to hit a plateau. I can hit it off easily with other chicks because I don't give a fuck about the outcome. In bar situations I sometimes feel weird / uncomfortable when she's there also and that's exactly what she was feeling too. Whatever I feel, she feels. Next time I will notice when I do this again and take right action ( e.g., not giving a fuck ).SShe is pinging off and reacting to the enviroment because, as a girl, she is supposed to, girls draw state from the enviroment. (Tyler -Blueprint) and she is seeking reassurance from you. I think Alexanders recent videos relate directly to this, watch his latest on how a high value guy's role is to influence the girl. As a high value male you draw state from within, that is the goal of masculine polarity after all. A woman is supposed to feed off of you! She doesn't have as strong a mental state and nor should she. She is feminine, is ruled by emotions not logic and you are her oak tree. Instead of wondering what's wrong with her, love her for feminine insecurities and need for a strong male and provide the influence (Alexander) and reassurance she needs.
Personally I think it's a great problem to have and sounds exactly like the kind of situation Alexander is referring to in his latest video about intermediate to advanced pickup.
Just remember that as males we are striving to have strong masculine polarity whereas a woman is supposed to be feminine. Therefore in a way you are both expressing the correct emotional states when out. Accept her state, it's feminine polarity and sexy as hell I think, and use your masculine polarity to reassure and comfort her.
I should stress I am new to this site and stuff, so might be wrong, but I like to try and analyse these situations to see if I'm understanding concepts correctly and welcome ffedback on my own views as well.
Thank you for your awesome reply. I will not reply to negative replies ( the frustrated chode above your reply haha :) ).
Tryhardworkhard
Junior Member
Join Date: 01/29/2011 | Posts: 18
I have followed the RSD principles for a few years now and it has got me an amazing girl.
I have an advanced problem which I can't wrap my head around:
When I'm in a bar or a similar social situation, I'm almost always 'in state'. I'm self-amused and having fun on my own. I think every girl is or could be attracted to me (entitlement I guess) and I don't give a shit what people think about me.
This expresses in me through self-love, which usually leads that when I'm in a social situation and I look or talk to a girl I have this smirk on my face which won't go away. I'm having strong eye contact, because of my state this goes automatically without me even thinking.
I just feel very good in my body. The thing is, girls usually get really attracted to me without me even wanting this. My girl sees this and gets jealeous.
My girl told me yesterday that this 'in-state look' that I'm describing looks to her like "I'm in love with her". She told me I do this to other girls too, which she is obviously jealeous about.
The thing is, I'm not even doing anything, I'm just being my happy good feeling self. ( I'm not feeling like a chody 'in-love' guy at all at that moment )
Yesterday night the following happened:
I'm in a bar with my girl, she was there already when I arrived and again I'm feeling good. She gets really attracted and we start making out. Everything goes great.
An hour later, the two of us go to a new bar / new social environment. Here something weird happens: she looks at her environment the whole time and when I look at her she looks away ( from left to right ) the whole time.
10 minutes later, she wanted to go home. Later that night she told me that in a new social environment, she needs 15 minutes to get used to the environment. When she's getting used to her environment and I'm having strong eye contact she gets really shy and uncomfortable. That's why she wanted to go home.
Am I just this badly calibrated or is my girl just being weird? What is this what she is describing?
TL;DR / Summarizing:
- When I'm in state, I have a certain look / gaze in my eyes that girls get really attracted to.
- My girl oftentimes get uncomfortable when I look to her that way and starts looking around her.
- She is jealeous that I do this to other girls because she says it looks like I'm in love, while this is extreme self-love. Other girls do get attracted to me sometimes without me wanting this.
- When I enter a new social situation with her and I look to her while in state she gets uncomfortable, starts looking left to right and wants to get out. I don't know what this is.
Does anyone of the advanced guys recognize what I describe here? ( Tyler / Julian ? ) I don't know what the fuck is going on :)
Edit/update: Now I think about it, it could also be the case that the new situation is weirdly calibrated, because I oftentimes feel weird and don't know what the fuck to do when I'm alone in a bar with her. Normally I just use physicality to escalate, which in a new social situation might not align with social pressure for her. Maybe talking / 'hitting her up' should work fine.
Edit 2: after seeing Julien's video, fuck the outcome. I will just be me whether she likes it or not.