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December 5th, 2016
How to stop validation seeking? tyler, julien, brad?
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kitty

Member

Join Date: 01/18/2012 | Posts: 60

i just watched julien's permission boy video. it is very cool. he says do this and don't do that. however, it doesn't explain how. how to not care what people think, how to not let the environment dictate your reality, how to not ask for permission.
when i see a really hot chick i used to think "oh she is hot and i suck" now i changed it a little bit now i think "oh she is hot and i am cool, yeah i am cool, i am so cool can you see? i am really cool do you like me? please like me" it basically goes the same place. it's all reactive.  i act james bond-like thinking now i am bond and you will attracted to my coolness. which is stupid. 
so what is the solution? what should i be thinking, doing? can you explain?
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#1
NamesAreHard

NamesAreHard

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/15/2011 | Posts: 354

Push your comfort zone and get reference experience.
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#2

kitty

Member

Join Date: 01/18/2012 | Posts: 60

actually it is a very good advice for improving gaming skills. i am pushing my comfort zone. i am getting results. i am very happy for that. however, this is my sticking point not always but sometimes i feel needy. i can get into state in some environments easily if a girl gives me validation or something but sometimes i feel like chode seeking for validation. basically, evironment dictates my reality. how can i get over it and be always who i really am without being affected by external sources.
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#3
Odaximus

Odaximus

Junior Member

Join Date: 05/22/2012 | Posts: 9

Detach from your environment.  The world doesn't define you.  The fire in your belly defines you as a man.  The world is just the show going on around you.  Enjoy the show but remember who you are.  
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#4

BloodmoneySWE

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/07/2009 | Posts: 787

- Have a strong intent. If you dont know why you are there, you will most likey try to get validation / suck value.
- Draw state from WITHIN. Dont focus on having state, focus on drawing your energy / mood from the right place. Self-amuse and build a great vibe!
- Be a giver
- Have a purpose beyond sluts.
- Screener frame & having standards.
- "kill your ego" = stop self seeking in others responses.

Attraction IS non-needyness, which is subcommunicated. If you are more invested into yourself then the girl you pursue you will be non-needy which communicates social status. You have to stop placing so much value on GETTING something from them, even tho its good and natural to have desires. Needyness and desires are not the same thing tho.

Dictating your reality = realise how most ppl are plugged into group think and start using your own BEST judgement. Realise what a frame is, how they work and that you can choose your frames.The reason men with all other factors equal have stronger frames and realities then women is due to testosterone. Think about that for a sec. Eat better (cut down on milk products, start eating alot of meat etc), sleep better, train hard, push your comfort zone, stop fapping to porn, live more actively = boosts testosterone.
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#5

pringles

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/28/2009 | Posts: 998

kitty wrote:
i just watched julien's permission boy video. it is very cool. he says do this and don't do that. however, it doesn't explain how. how to not care what people think, how to not let the environment dictate your reality, how to not ask for permission.
when i see a really hot chick i used to think "oh she is hot and i suck" now i changed it a little bit now i think "oh she is hot and i am cool, yeah i am cool, i am so cool can you see? i am really cool do you like me? please like me" it basically goes the same place. it's all reactive.  i act james bond-like thinking now i am bond and you will attracted to my coolness. which is stupid. 
so what is the solution? what should i be thinking, doing? can you explain?
stop being a faggot...you are telling him to tell you how to think? YOU CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK BY MAKING YOURSELF HAVE DIFFERENT THOUGHTS IN THOSE SITUATION UNTIL THEY STICK

Fucking hell dude should i shake your dick after you have a piss? This sort of thing always confuses me...when i heard what you needed to do/ have going on internally to get girls i fucking switched my shit up and worked at it until it stuck.

There are loads of ideas on mindset etc on the front page OR YOU CAN JUST USE THE SEARCH FUNCTION
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#6

pringles

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/28/2009 | Posts: 998

 But actually first thing you should do is learn to become indifferent.....its not an instant thing...just start moving in that direction consistently everyday and it will become self generating
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#7

shahanshah

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/13/2011 | Posts: 337

 I used to wonder about how to implement their stuff and it would cause me not to go out for a long time not understanding how to implement it BUT I realised what you do is GO OUT, do your thing, come back write up your field reports and then watch the videos etc and it'll sink in.

By going out AND reading/watching your brain will organise and analyse what you do infield and your brain (I think RAS but I'm no expert) will assimilate information from the video and therefore it will feed into yoru game and you'll progress. They head you in the direction.


BUT this can only be done if you're speaking to girls already. Otherwise it literally does nothing but confuse you.

Speaking from experience of both ends here :)
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#8
fsally

fsally

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Join Date: 07/07/2007 | Posts: 456

 
What BloodmoneySWE is really solid shit.

Faisal.
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#9
Ryan

Ryan

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/13/2011 | Posts: 945

By getting punished over and over by people for seeking it from them.
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#10
Brad

Brad

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/28/2007 | Posts: 3014

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