THE FORUMS

December 7th, 2016
[1000th Post] Why You're Not Good At This
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Matt281

Matt281

Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2155

The last thing I want to do in this post is give you the impression that I’ve “made it”. I’m not an instructor, guru, or anyone else who might epitomize what you wish you were. I’m just another guy, like any of you.

However, I have been out a few hundred times, approached a few thousand girls, learned a shitload and had a ton of crazy and amazing experiences. I’ve also gone from being a 21-year-old virgin to fucking more girls this year than most people do in a lifetime, most of which have been quite hot.

If any of that comes off as bragging, that’s not my intention. My intention is simply to give you an idea of where I’m coming from, so you can decide whether you think you’ll be able to get something out of this post.

Again, I’m not pulling stunners every week like some of the instructors, or having foursomes in the bathroom like Pilgrimage_2012, but I’m getting there, which is essentially the point of this post. 



Of the hundreds – if not thousands – of lessons I’ve learned from going out, the most profound has been the most basic: This shit works.

Even as I started to have success with this, I kept wrestling with the idea that maybe this isn’t for everyone. Maybe the guys who made it were somehow different, or maybe they were just lying.

After going out hard for the past year, however, it’s become impossible to deny. Everyone I know who has gone out and approached consistently is getting laid. A lot. Everyone who hasn’t is still the same chode they were a year ago, and I literally can’t relate to them anymore. It’s as fundamental and real as gravity.

Still, people will insist that it’s somehow different for them.

Not to digress, but let me tell you a quick story about “different”. By 19 I’d kissed one girl. I had sex with zero girls who I went to college with. Until this last month, I lived an hour and a half away from the city. Last week I pulled a stunner in 3 minutes while she was waiting for a cab.

Your situation is not somehow different and you are not cut from a different cloth.

Essentially what I’m saying is this:

The only thing - and I mean only - thing that separates those who get good and those who don't, was how far and for how long they were willing to do it. On that basis, you are a guaranteed success. - 10pin

If you could fully internalize those two sentences, there would be no need for the rest of this post.



So why doesn’t everyone just go out and get good at this?

You know that corny, overused quote that your 15 year old sister probably has on her facebook? “Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure”. Yeah, that one. That is exactly why you are not good at this.

Let me explain.

The only way you can not get good at this is if you don’t put in the effort. For most of you, the only way you can justify not getting good at this is to somehow convince yourself that it doesn’t work.

No, other people aren’t going out every single weekend and pulling hot girls. That doesn’t happen. I couldn’t do that.

But somewhere deep down you know it’s possible for you, and that’s why you’re scared shitless: because you know you can have stunning girls in your life and you’re not willing to go get them. Your method of coping is to try to prove to yourself that it doesn’t work.

But it does work. Yes, for you too.

It’s certainly much harder than most people think, but make no mistake: it’s yours if you want it.

There are shorter, fatter, shyer, skinnier, uglier, poorer, weirder and stupider guys than you who are getting the kind of results you want. You are not an exception.

This is a bitter pill to swallow, but it’s 100% necessary if you’re ever going to succeed at this. You and you alone are responsible for your success or failure in this game, or virtually anything else in life for that matter.



I’ll be the first to acknowledge that not having limiting beliefs is fucking hard. It’s brutal to know that the reason that girl you liked so much is sucking some other guy’s dick isn’t because you got the short straw – or because women are dumb sluts who like douchebags – but because you haven’t taken responsibility, put in the effort and earned your stripes.

Understanding this is both extremely empowering and extremely hard to cope with. It’s why game and personal development are so inextricably intertwined.

It can be very hard to accept responsibility for where you’re at, and to know that where you end up is completely up to you. But it’s 100% necessary if you’re going to get good at this, and to be honest, it’s one of the best feelings there is.



What I want you to get out of this post is simple: it’s yours if you want it bad enough.

If you truly want this, I want you to start a Field Reports journal and update it regularly. I don’t care if you’ve never done an approach in your life or if you’ve never held a girl’s hand. Go out and talk to a stranger, come back and write about it. Furthermore, drop the ego and acknowledge where you’re really at. If you have to start from square one, do it.

Or don’t.

If you’re going to be part of the 95% who fail at this, that’s up to you. Just know that it’s your choice.

Cheers.
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#1
EnVee

EnVee

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/15/2009 | Posts: 277

Really something awesome here, mate.
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#2
ambiguity

ambiguity

Trusted Member

Join Date: 10/28/2009 | Posts: 5327

Mate, what about those who are good at this? So good they Pull SMOKE SHOWs!?
__________________
Jlaix: You are rather cheeky I admit but the self amusing authentic avi makes it impossible to hate!
Tyler:This is ultimately one of the keys to the game -- viewing EVERYTHING AS A JOKE. It's ALL funny.
Tim:`How can I make this fun?
brad:This thread got Ambiguity banned, you can thank me later. Zack G: Ambiguity is becoming the Howard Roark of RSD!
Alex: "The famous ambiguity!" + "This is what happens when your naturally attractive; cheekyinnit#! Ambiguity: I don't chase, I replace.


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#3
Matt281

Matt281

Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2155

I'm also going to use this topic to post some of the best material I've come across.

Field Reports

Pilgrimage_2012, imo single best topic on the forums.
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/98734/forum

BonoboTimes
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/152765/forum

Cat
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/170468/forum

Dave7
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/167112/forum

Reading these will most likely be the best use of your time on RSD nation.
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#4
ambiguity

ambiguity

Trusted Member

Join Date: 10/28/2009 | Posts: 5327

Matt281 mate, save yourself the efforts as Paris has already gone ahead on a 3million pg topic holding all these topics in one.

Paris is a great but, I think it is a lot of effort and rather unnecessary. Most of what is posted could easily be established through actually logging off and having a flirt with the opposite sex.

Even with all the right answers and information at ones disposal, it goes to deaf ears since, people lack the depth in game, and social intuition to apply it in the least bit. Ironic innit?
Matt281 wrote:
I'm also going to use this topic to post some of the best material I've come across.

Field Reports

Pilgrimage_2012, imo single best topic on the forums.
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/98734/forum

BonoboTimes
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/152765/forum

Cat
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/170468/forum

Dave7
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/167112/forum

Reading these will most likely be the best use of your time on RSD nation.

__________________
Jlaix: You are rather cheeky I admit but the self amusing authentic avi makes it impossible to hate!
Tyler:This is ultimately one of the keys to the game -- viewing EVERYTHING AS A JOKE. It's ALL funny.
Tim:`How can I make this fun?
brad:This thread got Ambiguity banned, you can thank me later. Zack G: Ambiguity is becoming the Howard Roark of RSD!
Alex: "The famous ambiguity!" + "This is what happens when your naturally attractive; cheekyinnit#! Ambiguity: I don't chase, I replace.


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#5
Gravity

Gravity

Trusted Member

Join Date: 07/06/2011 | Posts: 1681

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#6
Matt281

Matt281

Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2155

ambiguity wrote:
Matt281 mate, save yourself the efforts as Paris has already gone ahead on a 3million pg topic holding all these topics in one.

Paris is a great but, I think it is a lot of effort and rather unnecessary. Most of what is posted could easily be established through actually logging off and having a flirt with the opposite sex.

Even with all the right answers and information at ones disposal, it goes to deaf ears since, people lack the depth in game, and social intuition to apply it in the least bit. Ironic innit?
Yeah I suppose it's a bit ironic to post things to read in a topic specifically about going out.

I think those field reports are a goldmine, but you're right, if you're not going out they're not going to help you. Certainly some good inspiration though.

Cheers
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#7
Paris Boum Boum

Paris Boum Boum

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/02/2009 | Posts: 2948

Very nice post !
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#8
Adrenalyn

Adrenalyn

Senior Member

Join Date: 11/17/2011 | Posts: 143

 Sweet...On point. I was tired, a little sick and just feeling generally shitty tonight and now I'm pissed I didn't go out and make moves!
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#9
adjunkie

adjunkie

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/27/2006 | Posts: 720

dat ass...

well written post bro.  right on point.
__________________
Tyler/ Julien Bootcamp Alum- July 2011 

Field Reports www.rsdnation.com/node/166276/forum

Alexander Videos w/ Notes www.rsdnation.com/node/218183
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#10
ambiguity

ambiguity

Trusted Member

Join Date: 10/28/2009 | Posts: 5327

Matt mate, if you feel compelled and believe this would be your best way to contribute value to the forums, by all means.

Not sure how old you are but, the clock is ticking mate, we are getting older, and I find the focal point of success is set in stone based upon your ambitions.

Women are just casualties of war (or to my bbc). One time a girl asked me what am I feeding my monster to get it so big?

I was a little bit annoyed by this!
Matt281 wrote:




ambiguity wrote:
Matt281 mate, save yourself the efforts as Paris has already gone ahead on a 3million pg topic holding all these topics in one.

Paris is a great but, I think it is a lot of effort and rather unnecessary. Most of what is posted could easily be established through actually logging off and having a flirt with the opposite sex.

Even with all the right answers and information at ones disposal, it goes to deaf ears since, people lack the depth in game, and social intuition to apply it in the least bit. Ironic innit?
Yeah I suppose it's a bit ironic to post things to read in a topic specifically about going out.

I think those field reports are a goldmine, but you're right, if you're not going out they're not going to help you. Certainly some good inspiration though.

Cheers
__________________
Jlaix: You are rather cheeky I admit but the self amusing authentic avi makes it impossible to hate!
Tyler:This is ultimately one of the keys to the game -- viewing EVERYTHING AS A JOKE. It's ALL funny.
Tim:`How can I make this fun?
brad:This thread got Ambiguity banned, you can thank me later. Zack G: Ambiguity is becoming the Howard Roark of RSD!
Alex: "The famous ambiguity!" + "This is what happens when your naturally attractive; cheekyinnit#! Ambiguity: I don't chase, I replace.


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