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December 6th, 2016
Shred's Field Report Journal
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epishred

epishred

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/21/2009 | Posts: 461

 OK, finally decided to keep a field report.  Been going out every nite for lil over 2 months now.  Made a lot of progress, but no pulls.  Tonight I'm gonna focus on leading, which is prolly the only RSD principle I haven't actively focused on.  Since I'm late to the game with this field report thing...I'll list the skills I have focuses on and a lil of what happened just for shits and giggles:

1. approaching-yup the most basic of things..first two weeks of going out every nite was a nightmare, but i'm in a good place now.  Around week 3 I forced myself to do 100 appraoches in one saturday night.  Good stuff.  Two weeks ago, I started out having a bad night, then just went approach mode and ended up having an ok nite.  I don't bother to do warm up sets anymore, it seems like i'm at the point where my second or third approach will dictate how the rest of the nite goes.

2. Outer game stuff (vocal projection, eye contact, break rapport tonality)-Ya this felt weird at first, but it seems to be on autopilot by now. It seems normal to look at people's eyes and talk a certain way.  Can't go back to the old way man.

3. Physical escalation-started out with just touching girls on the shoulder then went to hugs then finally ass grab.  This was a huge deal for me as I come from a family where we only hugged maybe once a year on special occasions.  I"m still calibrating on this.  Ass grabbing can lead to girls calling you an ass hole.  

4. Burning the set down-the most recent skill I've practiced.  Staying in even when the words die out seems to make each interaction more meaningful for some weird reason.

Anyways, tonight is saturday and I'm planning on spending 4-6 hours in field working on leading.  Will report back.
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#1
epishred

epishred

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Join Date: 10/21/2009 | Posts: 461

 Ok, just got back from a night of leading.  First club I walk in thirsty and go for the water  cooler.  I see a girl standing next to it so I introduce myself, it hooks, then I tell her to pour me a glass of water.  She does and hands it over to me.  Awesome!  So I tell her she's a sweetheart, give her a hug and move on.  Idiot, I should have stayed in set.  Next three approaches are blah, just "hey what's your name" no hooking in other words.  Then I hook a chick standing there by herself, I give her a hug and start to feel her over, all of a sudden an arm comes on her shoulder from like 5 feet away and she gets dragged away to some dude who I'm assuming is her bf.  So I move on, I'm on my way out of the club at this point.  I spot 3 girls next to the dj booth dancing, I introduce myself loud as hell, they see me but don't even say a word and go back to dancing. I just laugh and move on.  Then I see a tall blonde with her 4 friends. I say hi she says hi back we exchange names, I can tell it's going somewhere, then I take her hand and say "hey lets go stand next to the speakers" she says "actually I'm on my way out."  I let that go and get out of the club and onto the next one.

At the second club when I walk in I see a cute chick on her way to leave, I open my arms up and hug her and exchange greetings.  I grab her hand and "come here" she pulls away and says "but i'm going over there" the opposite way to where I was gesturing.  So I move on.  Not a whole lot of people here, I think I do like 2 or 3 more approaches that doesn't go anywhere.  So I move on to the club next door.

Right outside the door, I see three hot chicks, I introduce myself to all of them by sticking my hand out and one of them tells me her name like blah meh whatever. I just move on and get in line.  Once inside the club, I go straight to a girl I see sitting by herself.  She's nice and tells me she's with her husband standing 3 feet away.  I was like shiiiit, then I was like i'm gonna stay in this mofo as long as i can, so i chitchat with her about how she's here for her friends wedding blah blah blah.  I move on..dam this place is full of dudes. The dancfloor had like 20 guys and 3 girls.  I do maybe 2 sets on the dancefloor before moving on upstairs to do a couple more sets.  Once again just plain boring introductions that lead to nowhere.  I jet and go on to the next club.

The fourth club is an "upscale" club which in my town means fatties galore.  Not to be dissapointed, as soon as I walk in, I see a whole row of fat chicks, so i move on and find this girl looking at pics on her camera.  I introduce myself she says hi and ignores me.  Moving on I see this tall chick dancing with some dude, I go in and I hook.  She stops dancing and we start getting along and hugging, then I jet again like an idiot!  I see another hot chick next to the speakers and we chit chat about how dam tall she is. blah moving on.

I go to the next club and man it was strobe city there.  I start talkin to this chick, just casual blah blah what's happening shit.  I hit the dancefloor and see this skinny chick in black, I introduce as usual and she's into it i think and asks me if she already met me. I respond no, then her lil friend pushes me away from her.  I leave that club saying hi to couple of people on my way out.  

It's almost the end of the night, so i just go back to the first club cause i like the music there, I do a couple more approaches but nothing just simple hi my name is bs.  Then I drive home.

Ya so all in all it was a typical night out for me: 10% blowouts, 10% hooks, and 80% of platonic introductions.  Looking back, I need to work on staying in set when I hook.  Oddly enough I can do crazy shit while a chick is in the process of rejecting me, but when I hook i'm like um, nice meeting you gotta go.  Ok , so I have something to work on tomorrow night.  Also this leading thing from the get go isn't doing a whole lot for me. I think I need to escalate BEFORE I lead.
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#2
alyosha11

alyosha11

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Join Date: 08/17/2009 | Posts: 342

epishred: "hi i'm epishred"
girl: *igonore*
epishred: *walks away*

This is not leading, you're looking for a reaction. If you were leading it would be more like:

epishred: "hi i'm epishred"
girl: *igonore*
epishred: "Ey!" (pull her in) "No. Who are you?"
girl: "....i'm girl."
epishred: "Girl, you're cute... blah blah blah" (and into physical game)
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#3
epishred

epishred

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Join Date: 10/21/2009 | Posts: 461

alyosha11 wrote:
epishred: "hi i'm epishred"
girl: *igonore*
epishred: *walks away*

This is not leading, you're looking for a reaction. If you were leading it would be more like:

epishred: "hi i'm epishred"
girl: *igonore*
epishred: "Ey!" (pull her in) "No. Who are you?"
girl: "....i'm girl."
epishred: "Girl, you're cute... blah blah blah" (and into physical game)

thanks for your input bro...ya leaving out 2 months (and 2 years) of field reports leaves a lot to the imagination.  I did exactly that last weekend.  I went up to a girl.."hey i'm shred" she gave me the fuck off look, I clawed her, and she was said "don't touch me" I just looked at her and said "ya"? laughed if off and moved on.  i've learned that getting physical after initial rejection only makes things worse and gives the friends a reason to start shit.  thoughts?
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#4
alyosha11

alyosha11

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Join Date: 08/17/2009 | Posts: 342

No. That's not the same thing.

My example was for a girl ignoring you, not giving you a hostile look. You have to calibrate to each girl and each situation - use your head and don't make sweeping generalisations from single approaches and half-hearted efforts. You only leave if she tells you to fuck off or gets geniunely hostile, she will be the one to leave if it's just 'not going so well'.
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#5
epishred

epishred

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Join Date: 10/21/2009 | Posts: 461

ah yes, i call that luke warm to hot conversion.  ya haven't had much luck with that either mate.  I tried to do that to that one set last night.  Let me go into more detail.  So outside of the third club, when I see the group of 3 hot chicks, I stick my hand out and introduce, one girl takes it half ass and tells me her name, without releasing her hand, i pull her in and put my arm around her and ask her name again. she's still bored as ever and her friends start getting irritated.  that's when i decide to end it. 

Ya, i understand what youre saying..when you hook you can dam near get away at doing anything, when you get blown out, it's best to move on cause things are only gonna get worse.  But the middle gray zone, where girls are willing to keep talking but not get hostile (my 80% zone) even tho they seem bored or disinterested, that's definitely the area I need to focus on. 
alyosha11 wrote:
No. That's not the same thing.

My example was for a girl ignoring you, not giving you a hostile look. You have to calibrate to each girl and each situation - use your head and don't make sweeping generalisations from single approaches and half-hearted efforts. You only leave if she tells you to fuck off or gets geniunely hostile, she will be the one to leave if it's just 'not going so well'.
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#6
epishred

epishred

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/21/2009 | Posts: 461

Gameplan:
I realized something important today, there seems to be some sort of sexual block in my head. The whole idea of “playing to not lose instead of playing to win” seems to be very applicable here. When I imagine myself fucking a hot girl, I think “but what about all the other crap you gotta take care of to get there?” Just getting there, as in having the end goal in mind seems to be a bit lacking somehow.

I know I lack intent, the last time I tried to work on it, it was disastrous, I kept going into my head more and more and it ended up being a horrible night. But tonight I've decided to work on that no matter how creepy or bad of a night it gets.

So I have three things to work on tonight:
1. The mental aspect of intent.
2. Staying in set when I hook.
3. Getting physical with chicks that initially ignore me.

Update: about 2 hours before i head out, i get a call from my mother. things are not going well financially or physically with her and my sister.  This sends me spiraling down.  I try to remember all that state from within business and it seems to keep me together, but barely.  

Field Report:
I head out to the club, I'm feeling like shit honestly..best analogy would be like showing up to a 9-5 on a monday morning with a busted leg.  Dont really give a dam about my gameplan, i'm just doing this out of obligation to myself.

I walk in, Intruduce myself to first girl. She double handshakes me, I put my arms around her, we chit chat she gives me a slight push and goes away into the crowd.  Then i see this bohemian dressed chick: I introduce, she's like yah this is how i dress blah blah...basically luke warm. Were standing side by side at this point, so i remember to step it up on this type of reaction.  I claw her in for lil more chitchat and she goes away.  Then i see this girl I think I recognize, I give her a hug, feel her down a bit, kiss her on the cheek, turns out I do know her and her bf pops up and we high five.  Next I go over to a black chick dancing with 3 of her friends. I do my usual introduction, claw thing she pushes away but friendly as usual.  Next I see this petite chick all by her self. Not sure If i know her so I ask, she says nope and it hooks immediately.  Were standing side by side, I feel her back and ass and she's cool with it.  I put my arm on her shoulder for several awkward minutes and its cool.  I tell her I'm heading home and I go for the kiss...she does the turn away thing but i reach up and grab her chin and kiss her on the lips anyways.  I'm heading out saying hi to a couple of peeps.

All in all tonight was a slightly better night than average.  But considering I was emotionally fucked up, and I had all kinds of jacked up thoughts about my family running out of money and being on the streets.  I'd say this was definitely a learning experience.
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#7
epishred

epishred

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/21/2009 | Posts: 461

Been feeling great all day. Can't even describe it.
It's finals week so don't really care about hardcore approaching, more in maintenance mode. I go out to coffee house for 20 mins. I walk past this one girl and tap her on the shoulder as i'm headed out to the porch. Outside I see a group of five or six girls I say hi, the blond one closest to me instantly starts a convo and we go on for like what seems like ten minutes. My beer is done, so I say goodbye and head out the door. Ya not a great approach night, but i'll be up till 4 studying. But I do believe that I've made another identity level change seeing how for the past couple of nights I've been able to hook on the first or second approach.  This whole I am enough concept is coming into fruition.  Oddly enough I feel i'm standing on a fence mentally speaking that is.  On one side there is peace that I don't have to do anything to be attractive to a girl, on the other side there is almost an uneasiness that i don't have to do anything to be attractive to women. 
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#8
epishred

epishred

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Join Date: 10/21/2009 | Posts: 461

So my first final is coming up, I go to a coffee shop that's usually busy.  I see a couple I recognize, I say hi and we chit chat for a couple of minutes.  Then I go in and see two chicks reading a magazine and talk to them about it.  I bail in less than a minute, but for some reason I don't regret it.  Then I say hi to a group of guys playing chess, and another chick sitting across from them.  I go sit down to read over my notes and I see a girl I know.  We sit across from each other and she keeps asking me questions every few minutes.  I don't go for the number, I think i'm too deep into this biology shit to even notice her.  I take a break and play a quick game of chess with the dudes.  Then on my way out I approach this girl and guy.  Just casual blah blah what you doing for like a minute or two, not going anywhere so I bail.  Guitar playing dude is down the street, I start talkin to him, some chick comes up asking for a lighter.  I give her a hug, and pull her over, she resists a lil bit.  Then on my way to my car, I see this two girls walking past, I reach out my hand to the girl closest to me and introduce, she says hi back, I pull her in but she resists hard and says she has to go.  So that was my night and I come home to continue studying.  

It looks like i'm in platonic hell again.  No blowouts, but everything is just so dam blah.  Honestly I should change my definition of having a bad night to this.  I don't ever have one of those newbie BAD nights anymore, so this should be my bad night.

ADD: man i need to stay away from the forums, i'm turning into a KJ.  also i'm falling on comfort, going to the same places over and over again...i need to start going to new places tomorrow.
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#9
epishred

epishred

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/21/2009 | Posts: 461

I'm getting too comfortable with going to places I like. Tonight i'm gonna go only to places i've never been before. I want to feel that hypnotized fear of a newbie again. Something that Tyler said sticks in my mind about how you learn in cycles. I think I need to start over again and go back to the beginning and focus on approaching. For the rest of the week, I'm going to focus on doing new things from a fresh newbies perspective. Of all the incrimental identity level changes I have made, I think my desire to face things head on is the most valuable. It's strange but I want to scare myself, I want to embarrass myself because I know that good will come of it.

FR: I go out to a coffeehouse they're having a concert or something. Immediately I look for the hardest set to open. Theres a guy that's hitting on a girl, I start to go over but another dude that I know stops me and we have a nice chit chat, I go over to the two peeps and introduce. We exchange names, that was it. I look over for another hard set, group of 4 chicks. I got over say hi, and two of the closest ones immediately engage me in convo while the others fill in on it. I go inside and I see this girl studying with another chick. She smiles at me like she knows me, hell if I remember her. I sit down next to her and start feeling her back, she moves away a lil bit. We chat with her friend and I walk away with her number.

So long story short..I'm broke, super in my head from studying biology for 6 hours, and my first final is less than 10 hours away. So all you guys makin excuses can line up to lick my left nut cause the left one is bigger than my right.
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#10
epishred

epishred

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/21/2009 | Posts: 461

Went out to a bar I've only driven past before.  As soon as i get in i'm like holy shit what is this place it looks like a country club without the grass.  I return to a full blown newbie.  I'm in my head and nervous as shit.  I approach this one chick, introduce myself, she gives me the polite shoulder.  Then I talk to this group of people playing some weird game with pool balls and rocks.  The hot chick among them eye bangs me like twice.  Later on she goes over to a group of 8 people.  I approach her and ask her if i know her from somewhere..wow lamest opener ever, what the hell happened to me i've gone back to day one.  I do like 3 more approaches and hang with some people playing jenga.  Man this feels like week one all over again.  I now know that approaching in a new venue is something I can definitely work on.  Learning does happen in cycles.
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