THE FORUMS

I was a little suspicious about this meditation stuff for a while, but that was because I didn't realize how to apply it in the field or in general social interactions. I've realized the key is your breathing. Your breathing must be coordinated with your mind. Your mind must be completely firm, yet peaceful. As you get more experienced with man to woman interactions you realize that your mind does get blown around like a leaf in the wind. It even happens often times before you approach. Sometimes it happens just when you pass by an attractive woman.

In order to practice this I started simple. I started by walking and focusing solely on my breath. I just monitored my breath and started to feel a very relaxed feeling in my body. Then I walked through some area where there were a lot of attractive women, and I started to notice when I would see an attractive woman my breathing pattern would suddenly change. It would stop or get quicker. Something about it felt weird. I didn't have a mirror with me, but I bet when this was happening I bet my eyes were dilating, which is something that causes women to lose a tremedous amount interest in you because it's a sign of fear. So what you do to counteract this is go into your body and become very aware of when you start to change your breath pattern and cut it off. Keep your breathing even. This takes practice.

Another thing that's been very difficult for me, but I'm starting to get now is looking at women the way you're supposed to look at them. There's the right way to look at them, and then there's the "socially conditioned" way to look. What you should really be doing is seeing a woman's beauty and appreciating it. Soak it in and enjoy it. You need to let go of your fear of her judgement of you "looking" at her. That doesn't mean simply stare at her breasts or crotch or burn a hole in her face by staring directly into her eyes. DON'T try to do this with women you're not attracted to either. It only has good results if your feelings are genuine.  If you see a woman you're attracted to just be cenetered in yourself. You achieve that by the breathing right and not having any weird flinching or dilation in your eyes. Now you can really look at her whole body and appreciate it, and weather she gives you a negative or positive reaction you still make sure not to flinch.