THE FORUMS
You have to remember that you have to try new things and go further with every approach or you will stagnate.
You also gotta keep a healthy state of mind, so that your personality has the opportunity to change. Transition things you learn infield in your everyday behaviours.
If you only approach like a madmen, all you will become is the same old guy, who wastes his time with hitting on girls.
You also gotta keep a healthy state of mind, so that your personality has the opportunity to change. Transition things you learn infield in your everyday behaviours.
If you only approach like a madmen, all you will become is the same old guy, who wastes his time with hitting on girls.
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"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
All that matters:
- You take action (approach) and push your comfort zone
- You keep an open mind, and experiment frequently to find out what works
Why would you strive to get into fights? I mean, don't live in fear. Don't let your fear of someone freaking out stop you from taking right action. But don't "strive" to get kicked out of clubs and get into fights.
- You take action (approach) and push your comfort zone
- You keep an open mind, and experiment frequently to find out what works
Why would you strive to get into fights? I mean, don't live in fear. Don't let your fear of someone freaking out stop you from taking right action. But don't "strive" to get kicked out of clubs and get into fights.
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Approaching works, ONLY if you believe that it'll work. Otherwise, it will not work.
That's why Jeffy keeps saying you can't be half gangsta, used to be beastmode, and you gotta put your whole self in playa.
Most guys approach half ass, not really thinking it'll work and scared of rejection. This will never work, no matter how long or how many times you approach.
Fully commit to the approach, go in with absolute belief and faith that the approach works and you'll get the girl. Do this enought times, it'll work.
That's why Jeffy keeps saying you can't be half gangsta, used to be beastmode, and you gotta put your whole self in playa.
Most guys approach half ass, not really thinking it'll work and scared of rejection. This will never work, no matter how long or how many times you approach.
Fully commit to the approach, go in with absolute belief and faith that the approach works and you'll get the girl. Do this enought times, it'll work.
"Just approaching" isn't going to do much for you. You have to be intelligent about it and pay attention to what you're doing, seeing where you go wrong, and learning to do it better in the future.
Trying to get in fights or to get kicked out will just train you to be a dickhead. If that's what you want, have at it. But I'd think you'd rather build the habits and traits of a cool guy instead.
Trying to get in fights or to get kicked out will just train you to be a dickhead. If that's what you want, have at it. But I'd think you'd rather build the habits and traits of a cool guy instead.
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Just approaching girl after girl doesn't really do much, except make you yearn for the rush of it. It's the things you choose to do after you have approached her that make you grow. Anyone can go up to girl after girl giving hi fives or saying a few edgy comments, that doesn't improve you. Sadly you learn way more from your successes than you do your failures so it's hard for new guys or guys who consistantly don't do what they are suppose to do. For me midgame has always been the hardest to consistantly nail, but when you learn how to find the right girls to talk to that becomes a non-issue.
This thread comes at the right time for me. I have a similar question as the OP and I was going to make a separate thread for it. I'll put it here.
I live far from the city, so I was waiting the whole week to go out again. I analyzed the inner game issues that held me back the last week and delved into RSD material. I was pretty confident this week I would make a tangible improvement. I also realized my AA was not as bad as I thought. Of course I had some, but not enough to prevent me from approaching, unless the girls were incredibly hot, in which case...yeah. I went to the club and then something strange happened that made me feel disheartened. I did nothing. (Well, I did do one approach, but it went nowhere and I won't even count it.) And what upset me was that I understood why I wasn't taking action.
Because I didn't understand how this would make me improve. I felt it was pointless.
Does this make sense? I hope someone here can understand me. It wasn't that I was afraid or lazy or too nervous. It was that I did not have FAITH that approaching would make me better. Now, you're gonna say, "WTF? Approaching is the whole point." And yes, I agree. Fucking obviously! Heh. My point is, I do not know HOW to approach. In other words: do I improve by...approaching over and over, even if I get blown out immediately? Or, if I get into a conversation, what is my aim, is it to escalate, start touching her, try to make out, get a number, and just keep pushing until I get laid or get blown out? What EXACTLY is it about the approach that will help me improve?
Because, I have to tell you something... I realized tonight that I do not BELIEVE there is a way for me to improve. Let me explain so no one misunderstands. I obviously understand, intellectually, logically, that this is a skill which can be learned, and going out and approaching is the way to do it. But emotionally, I cannot connect the dots from how I could possibly go from an approach to getting to know her, getting close to her, bringing her over, sticking my dick in her. It all just seems so fucking UNREAL to me. And when the whole thing seems like a dream, approaching a bunch of utter strangers feels like an exercise in futility.
This is really difficult to explain. I am not stubbornly saying "pickup doesn't work." Haha... no, of course I'm not saying that. I'm saying I do not see HOW I can improve in it, HOW I can help myself. So many fucking hot girls in there, man... WTF do they give a shit if I approach them while they're dancing or sitting and start talking? Now, a friendly convo...pretty sure I could pull that off, yeah. But where the fuck would that get me? I keep thinking I have to approach direct, man to woman, make my interest explicit. And I just don't see how any of these chicks would give a shit, when I am a COMPLETE STRANGER.
If anyone here has been through this phase please throw some advice my way, man. I will continue to go out, nothing has changed. But I am feeling rattled.
I live far from the city, so I was waiting the whole week to go out again. I analyzed the inner game issues that held me back the last week and delved into RSD material. I was pretty confident this week I would make a tangible improvement. I also realized my AA was not as bad as I thought. Of course I had some, but not enough to prevent me from approaching, unless the girls were incredibly hot, in which case...yeah. I went to the club and then something strange happened that made me feel disheartened. I did nothing. (Well, I did do one approach, but it went nowhere and I won't even count it.) And what upset me was that I understood why I wasn't taking action.
Because I didn't understand how this would make me improve. I felt it was pointless.
Does this make sense? I hope someone here can understand me. It wasn't that I was afraid or lazy or too nervous. It was that I did not have FAITH that approaching would make me better. Now, you're gonna say, "WTF? Approaching is the whole point." And yes, I agree. Fucking obviously! Heh. My point is, I do not know HOW to approach. In other words: do I improve by...approaching over and over, even if I get blown out immediately? Or, if I get into a conversation, what is my aim, is it to escalate, start touching her, try to make out, get a number, and just keep pushing until I get laid or get blown out? What EXACTLY is it about the approach that will help me improve?
Because, I have to tell you something... I realized tonight that I do not BELIEVE there is a way for me to improve. Let me explain so no one misunderstands. I obviously understand, intellectually, logically, that this is a skill which can be learned, and going out and approaching is the way to do it. But emotionally, I cannot connect the dots from how I could possibly go from an approach to getting to know her, getting close to her, bringing her over, sticking my dick in her. It all just seems so fucking UNREAL to me. And when the whole thing seems like a dream, approaching a bunch of utter strangers feels like an exercise in futility.
This is really difficult to explain. I am not stubbornly saying "pickup doesn't work." Haha... no, of course I'm not saying that. I'm saying I do not see HOW I can improve in it, HOW I can help myself. So many fucking hot girls in there, man... WTF do they give a shit if I approach them while they're dancing or sitting and start talking? Now, a friendly convo...pretty sure I could pull that off, yeah. But where the fuck would that get me? I keep thinking I have to approach direct, man to woman, make my interest explicit. And I just don't see how any of these chicks would give a shit, when I am a COMPLETE STRANGER.
If anyone here has been through this phase please throw some advice my way, man. I will continue to go out, nothing has changed. But I am feeling rattled.
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Jay, thanks for the videos. RSD has always taught pushing your comfort zone stuff. But everyone has their limits...seriously not even Jeffy is gonna go into a hip hop club and put his tongue down thugs girlfriends. And no, i'm not letting my fears get the better of me, they just don't do a very good job explaining the structure of pushing yourself. Tyler gave some hints on this issue on his intent video about a guy bashing your head in with a beer bottle, but notice that they don't ever talk/show anything on really dangerous situations which leads me to believe that they actually play it pretty safe. So there ya go, I guess that's the real question...how do you push yourself without getting stabbed?
Rattlebone,
ya i kinda feel ya on this...granted i'm a lil further down the path than you are but not by much. It takes a lot of effort (no im not bein a bitch) to go out every night like i've been doing, especially finding something to do on mondays and tuesdays. Once you start doing that tho, this nagging thought in the back of your mind "am i really going anywhere with this or am i just wasting my time" keeps lingering. That's really why i made this thread. Life is short man, and i really don't wanna look back on this months from now thinking "dam i wasted my time on that shit".
And typical of rsdnation there's so much contradictory statements floating around...like someone posted "tyler said that it takes the average guy 8 approaches for six months to get good at this" contrast that with "approaching by itself doesn't do shit" etc, etc.
yes i know i'm criticising rsd, no harm intended but a lil clarification on all this confusion would be nice.
Rattlebone,
ya i kinda feel ya on this...granted i'm a lil further down the path than you are but not by much. It takes a lot of effort (no im not bein a bitch) to go out every night like i've been doing, especially finding something to do on mondays and tuesdays. Once you start doing that tho, this nagging thought in the back of your mind "am i really going anywhere with this or am i just wasting my time" keeps lingering. That's really why i made this thread. Life is short man, and i really don't wanna look back on this months from now thinking "dam i wasted my time on that shit".
And typical of rsdnation there's so much contradictory statements floating around...like someone posted "tyler said that it takes the average guy 8 approaches for six months to get good at this" contrast that with "approaching by itself doesn't do shit" etc, etc.
yes i know i'm criticising rsd, no harm intended but a lil clarification on all this confusion would be nice.
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If you're like me you'll find most of the changes come when you think "You know what I'll drop that line" or "I know im not supposed to do this but w/e ima do it anyway" then you realise its cool, it works (although a lot fo the time it wont) and this is where you BE YOURSELF and that's where you grow.
The self development is mainly learning the mechanics but the rest is basically stripping away lost of shells and layers of beliefs, material that doesnt match you, behaviours etc. Then you realise this is how all the other people got good "by doing their own thing" with repsect to certain shit.
This is just my current opinion on it, I like to get it out there so people can prove me wrong :P
The self development is mainly learning the mechanics but the rest is basically stripping away lost of shells and layers of beliefs, material that doesnt match you, behaviours etc. Then you realise this is how all the other people got good "by doing their own thing" with repsect to certain shit.
This is just my current opinion on it, I like to get it out there so people can prove me wrong :P
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Man, watch Tyler's videos. He says he got good by taking rejection. Even now he goes out to clubs when he's feeling shitty and knows he's probably going to get rejected because of his shitty state. But he fucking approaches anyway because he's not worried about the outcome. But then he'll get little successes that bring up his state and eventually bring up his state enough to attract and pull. Have faith in the process. If you assume there is no point in approaching, then that is the reality you will experience.
Tyler can do things now that he never dreamed he would be able to do when he first started in the game. He'll game crazy fuckin girls now he probably wouldn't have in the past. The reason is because he has so much experience he isn't afraid to take on any persona in order to pull. He can be the good guy or an asshole. He can adjust his game based on the girl. I'm sure it's the same deal in his regular life. He is psychologically flexible.
But when you first start in this game, you're probably just going to be able to attract a certain type of girl. Whichever type most fits your current, unschooled, unflexible game personality. You'll probably dismiss the other girls, and they'll probably dismiss you because you won't understand their shit tests, they're likely to freak you out. Your ability to plow past tests will improve the more experience you get.
Tyler can do things now that he never dreamed he would be able to do when he first started in the game. He'll game crazy fuckin girls now he probably wouldn't have in the past. The reason is because he has so much experience he isn't afraid to take on any persona in order to pull. He can be the good guy or an asshole. He can adjust his game based on the girl. I'm sure it's the same deal in his regular life. He is psychologically flexible.
But when you first start in this game, you're probably just going to be able to attract a certain type of girl. Whichever type most fits your current, unschooled, unflexible game personality. You'll probably dismiss the other girls, and they'll probably dismiss you because you won't understand their shit tests, they're likely to freak you out. Your ability to plow past tests will improve the more experience you get.
epishred
Respected Member
Join Date: 10/21/2009 | Posts: 461
Ya ya, I know some of you are gonna jump on this and say just approaching doesn't do shit...but from the blueprint and recent videos, no instructor has given a clear answer to this.
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/218733
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/215161