THE FORUMS
Went out sober with a buddy, blown out by about 5 sets, nervous as hell, looking for a reaction and taking things personally. Dark times. After a good 2/3 hours of being blown out (and slapped at one point) I remember going into 'Nothing to lose mode', just doing and acting to amuse myself, then I started getting somewhere. Remember not to go out following a list of rules and if it helps, open tons of guy sets to get yourself in the zone and ease into confident body language. Check out Tim's stuff on Natural Game bro. Also, yeah I still get fear after doing this for about 3 years now, but that 2/3 hours has reduced to about 20 minutes. When you're locked into this mode, you're there for the night, even if you get blown out you just wont care because you'll grow and grow over the course of the night. Tell yourself you're the coolest guy on the planet when you head out, as far as you're concerned and you'll subcommunicate this. Anything you're thinking and doubting will be subcommunicated through your body language in these early stages. Loads of instructors will tell you that body language fucks guys over when they start more than anything, followed by vocal tonality and volume. Fake it til you make it bro.
You've got one of two ways:
1) Emotional leverage - you get so frustrated that you just approach in spite of your fear
2) You change your mindset about approaching
Usually its a mixture of both. Me personally it was point 1 first but then I changed my mindset.
I mean what EXACTLY are you scared of? Its usually some self-imposed pressure of having to "perform" - you wouldn't be scared asking someone for directions if you needed to would you?
Tell us what the fear actually is...
1) Emotional leverage - you get so frustrated that you just approach in spite of your fear
2) You change your mindset about approaching
Usually its a mixture of both. Me personally it was point 1 first but then I changed my mindset.
I mean what EXACTLY are you scared of? Its usually some self-imposed pressure of having to "perform" - you wouldn't be scared asking someone for directions if you needed to would you?
Tell us what the fear actually is...
__________________
For me, I tried going out to "practice" approaching alone. Went out 4-5 times and failed. Until one day I was waiting around for a friend who was really late. This cutie walked by. I really wanted to approach her, and surprisingly there wasn't any fear. In my head it was more "I had to meet her" than "I'm alone, this is weird". So I guess the main problem was that I was putting unnecessary pressure on myself. But when I was in a relaxed state, not thinking about "gaming" or "prowling", I could pull it off. Nowadays, I can get past AA really quickly. By just relaxing, not putting pressure on myself, and taking initiative.
__________________
The Social Lifestyle - purple pill blog.
Here's how my first nights went:
As I was walking up to the bar there was 2 emo girls standing outside smoking, I consciously said to myself that I would begin talking to them, and at this point I felt like all of a sudden I wanted to turn around and walk home, but at the same time I couldn't stop myself - I felt excited about what would happen next, but I was very anxious.
I caught the end of something they said and carried it on with something random and probably not at all related. I can't remember what I said, but they burst out laughing, commented that that would probably be the best thing they will hear all night and instantly asked my name. I got onto the topic of book binding skills somehow (the previous day I had gotten my 3rd year University dissertation binded so it was on my mind and I just felt the topic come out of my mouth), and noticed a hot redhead girl standing by herself. I looked at this redhead and said something like "come and join the conversation, I need to know how knowledgeable you are on the esoteric skill of bookbinding" (CANT BELIEVE I SAID ESOTERIC), she laughed and came closer. At this point I felt that I was getting into state, and I started to feel really good about myself as if I was so god damn attractive to these girls, even though the topics of conversation couldn't of been any more nerdy and weird, I was loving that I could make these girls laugh talking about bookbinding. I had a thought flash through my head that I bet no guy they had ever met had managed to bring up this topic before and make it exciting.
I teased the redhead saying that entering the conversation at this point where the banter was pretty intense would be too challenging for her, and that she should probably stand there and wait until a topic she was capable of contributing to came up. She was like no fuck that, and began challenging me, saying she knew more about print shop technology than me because she was crafting hte perfect business card for her art company. I carried on teasing saying something like "I feel uncomfortable meeting American Psycho type girls...I bet you stand around with your buddies in suits, comparing the subtle hues of blood red ink variations on bland off-white generic business cards", she laughs and says she loves that film. At this point it was almost like I felt a shift in energy, and that I was in a different phase of interaction with this girl. I realised I was enjoying this so much, and she felt fine with me talking to her.
The 2 other girls at this point obviously had no idea what the hell we were talking about, so left and told me to come and find them later. This broke the flow of conversation with the redhead, and I started asking her about her art business but I was no longer in the moment, felt like I was interviewing her. I felt a bit intimidated by her beauty. She got a phonecall, and I was left standing there feeling like I was creeping on her. I began to feel anxious and I started thinking about approaching again, walked into the bar, saw my housemate from the first year, but the conversation was just awkward with him. I wanted to leave, but felt rude doing so. At this point it felt like my night was ending.
I saw a guy I had met briefly through someone else, I felt relieved for some reason at this point. Approached him, he recognised me, and introduced me to his friends. We then went to a club, but I felt weird in the club and walked home. I had no state, and was in my head too much by this point. I was expecting these people to go straight to the dancefloor and start having fun, but instead they sat in a corner and I felt like I couldn't get into their conversation. I turned around and walked home without saying bye.
So basically, I felt anxious when I wasn't talking to people, or when I was thinking about approaching, or when I was anticipating certain things to happen, but when I was actually interacting with strangers most of the time I felt great.
Think about how much fun you WILL be having if it goes only slightly well. Now when I go out, I think back on the few times I have been out (I'm still very inexperienced), and I realise its been great fun previous times, and that motivates me. My mindset has shifted from "I have to approach", to something like "when I do approach, I'm going to end up having a lot of fun".
As I was walking up to the bar there was 2 emo girls standing outside smoking, I consciously said to myself that I would begin talking to them, and at this point I felt like all of a sudden I wanted to turn around and walk home, but at the same time I couldn't stop myself - I felt excited about what would happen next, but I was very anxious.
I caught the end of something they said and carried it on with something random and probably not at all related. I can't remember what I said, but they burst out laughing, commented that that would probably be the best thing they will hear all night and instantly asked my name. I got onto the topic of book binding skills somehow (the previous day I had gotten my 3rd year University dissertation binded so it was on my mind and I just felt the topic come out of my mouth), and noticed a hot redhead girl standing by herself. I looked at this redhead and said something like "come and join the conversation, I need to know how knowledgeable you are on the esoteric skill of bookbinding" (CANT BELIEVE I SAID ESOTERIC), she laughed and came closer. At this point I felt that I was getting into state, and I started to feel really good about myself as if I was so god damn attractive to these girls, even though the topics of conversation couldn't of been any more nerdy and weird, I was loving that I could make these girls laugh talking about bookbinding. I had a thought flash through my head that I bet no guy they had ever met had managed to bring up this topic before and make it exciting.
I teased the redhead saying that entering the conversation at this point where the banter was pretty intense would be too challenging for her, and that she should probably stand there and wait until a topic she was capable of contributing to came up. She was like no fuck that, and began challenging me, saying she knew more about print shop technology than me because she was crafting hte perfect business card for her art company. I carried on teasing saying something like "I feel uncomfortable meeting American Psycho type girls...I bet you stand around with your buddies in suits, comparing the subtle hues of blood red ink variations on bland off-white generic business cards", she laughs and says she loves that film. At this point it was almost like I felt a shift in energy, and that I was in a different phase of interaction with this girl. I realised I was enjoying this so much, and she felt fine with me talking to her.
The 2 other girls at this point obviously had no idea what the hell we were talking about, so left and told me to come and find them later. This broke the flow of conversation with the redhead, and I started asking her about her art business but I was no longer in the moment, felt like I was interviewing her. I felt a bit intimidated by her beauty. She got a phonecall, and I was left standing there feeling like I was creeping on her. I began to feel anxious and I started thinking about approaching again, walked into the bar, saw my housemate from the first year, but the conversation was just awkward with him. I wanted to leave, but felt rude doing so. At this point it felt like my night was ending.
I saw a guy I had met briefly through someone else, I felt relieved for some reason at this point. Approached him, he recognised me, and introduced me to his friends. We then went to a club, but I felt weird in the club and walked home. I had no state, and was in my head too much by this point. I was expecting these people to go straight to the dancefloor and start having fun, but instead they sat in a corner and I felt like I couldn't get into their conversation. I turned around and walked home without saying bye.
So basically, I felt anxious when I wasn't talking to people, or when I was thinking about approaching, or when I was anticipating certain things to happen, but when I was actually interacting with strangers most of the time I felt great.
Think about how much fun you WILL be having if it goes only slightly well. Now when I go out, I think back on the few times I have been out (I'm still very inexperienced), and I realise its been great fun previous times, and that motivates me. My mindset has shifted from "I have to approach", to something like "when I do approach, I'm going to end up having a lot of fun".
What were your experiences going out and approachign by yourself for the first time?
I'm currently working on approaching by myself and I'm finding it impossible. Its not that theres not enough initiative or willpower, all I can say is its really fucking hard. This is in no way a circle jerk (saying its hard and giving up), I would just like to know some first hand experiences of other people overcoming a gargantuan task like approaching by themselves the first time or their very first approach or their first mixed set.
I would appreciate if comments divided from the typical, douchy "get over it/grow some balls pussy/I get laid so easily, you should to". Trying my best is all I can do so now that I've hit a rock , I'm reachign out to other like minded people who can offer me some of their experiences in this field.
1. What where you feeling?
2. How long did it take for you to set a goal liek the ones mentioned above for yourself and achieving it?
3. Do you still have the fear?
4. How did you do it?
Thanks gents, I appreciate the comments.
I'm currently working on approaching by myself and I'm finding it impossible. Its not that theres not enough initiative or willpower, all I can say is its really fucking hard. This is in no way a circle jerk (saying its hard and giving up), I would just like to know some first hand experiences of other people overcoming a gargantuan task like approaching by themselves the first time or their very first approach or their first mixed set.
I would appreciate if comments divided from the typical, douchy "get over it/grow some balls pussy/I get laid so easily, you should to". Trying my best is all I can do so now that I've hit a rock , I'm reachign out to other like minded people who can offer me some of their experiences in this field.
1. What where you feeling?
2. How long did it take for you to set a goal liek the ones mentioned above for yourself and achieving it?
3. Do you still have the fear?
4. How did you do it?
Thanks gents, I appreciate the comments.
Dude. I do sales for a living, Sales and getting women starts out the same way... your NERVOUS AS FUCK your first time. I know the material, but I can even remember the name of my company with my first potential customer.
I'll skip to 4) because its MOMENTUM that rocks!! Your game skills snowball into a powerhouse the more approaches you do in a night. WARM UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I promise, if you become COMFORTABLE with knowing the first approaches will suck dick. But you are just gonna have to go up there, be like HERP DURP HI,UMMM BYE.
Then the next chance, u actually remember your name, then the next u remember a funny phrase, then the next u keep getting better and better.
I get cold chills from remembering the nights where I stuck it out to do like 20-30 approaches, cuz those were the nights when I got warmed up and I was KILLING it later! Absoutely awesome seeing myself really laying down smooth game, all because I got the warm up over and done with without crying like a little baby.
Ignore your mind. The brain is the biggest bullshitter and liar that you know. Just go do it, and the brain will stop running out of excuses & reasons to tell you to be nervous, and it will just be like OKAY OKAY SAY THIS, IT WILL BE FUNNY AS SHIT. And then you become a rockstar pimp!
I've went from Virgin to 33 girls in 3 years w/ RSD. You just gotta do it man!
__________________
Quintessence of RSD -- http://www.rsdnation.com/node/176208/forum
Internet Marketing forums - www.wickedfire.com
My favorite radio station -- http://www.iheart.com/#/live/4828/
High value marketing coaching - www.ppc-coach.com
My favorite books - The Millionaire Fastlane // Four Hour Work Week // 7 Habits of Highly Effective People // Think and Grow Rich // Power of Now // Sex God Method
Quintessence of RSD -- http://www.rsdnation.com/node/176208/forum
Internet Marketing forums - www.wickedfire.com
My favorite radio station -- http://www.iheart.com/#/live/4828/
High value marketing coaching - www.ppc-coach.com
My favorite books - The Millionaire Fastlane // Four Hour Work Week // 7 Habits of Highly Effective People // Think and Grow Rich // Power of Now // Sex God Method
What were your experiences going out and approachign by yourself for the first time?
I'm currently working on approaching by myself and I'm finding it impossible. Its not that theres not enough initiative or willpower, all I can say is its really fucking hard. This is in no way a circle jerk (saying its hard and giving up), I would just like to know some first hand experiences of other people overcoming a gargantuan task like approaching by themselves the first time or their very first approach or their first mixed set.
I would appreciate if comments divided from the typical, douchy "get over it/grow some balls pussy/I get laid so easily, you should to". Trying my best is all I can do so now that I've hit a rock , I'm reachign out to other like minded people who can offer me some of their experiences in this field.
1. What where you feeling?
2. How long did it take for you to set a goal liek the ones mentioned above for yourself and achieving it?
3. Do you still have the fear?
4. How did you do it?
Thanks gents, I appreciate the comments.
I'm currently working on approaching by myself and I'm finding it impossible. Its not that theres not enough initiative or willpower, all I can say is its really fucking hard. This is in no way a circle jerk (saying its hard and giving up), I would just like to know some first hand experiences of other people overcoming a gargantuan task like approaching by themselves the first time or their very first approach or their first mixed set.
I would appreciate if comments divided from the typical, douchy "get over it/grow some balls pussy/I get laid so easily, you should to". Trying my best is all I can do so now that I've hit a rock , I'm reachign out to other like minded people who can offer me some of their experiences in this field.
1. What where you feeling?
2. How long did it take for you to set a goal liek the ones mentioned above for yourself and achieving it?
3. Do you still have the fear?
4. How did you do it?
Thanks gents, I appreciate the comments.
Dude. I do sales for a living, Sales and getting women starts out the same way... your NERVOUS AS FUCK your first time. I know the material, but I can even remember the name of my company with my first potential customer.
I'll skip to 4) because its MOMENTUM that rocks!! Your game skills snowball into a powerhouse the more approaches you do in a night. WARM UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I promise, if you become COMFORTABLE with knowing the first approaches will suck dick. But you are just gonna have to go up there, be like HERP DURP HI,UMMM BYE.
Then the next chance, u actually remember your name, then the next u remember a funny phrase, then the next u keep getting better and better.
I get cold chills from remembering the nights where I stuck it out to do like 20-30 approaches, cuz those were the nights when I got warmed up and I was KILLING it later! Absoutely awesome seeing myself really laying down smooth game, all because I got the warm up over and done with without crying like a little baby.
Ignore your mind. The brain is the biggest bullshitter and liar that you know. Just go do it, and the brain will stop running out of excuses & reasons to tell you to be nervous, and it will just be like OKAY OKAY SAY THIS, IT WILL BE FUNNY AS SHIT. And then you become a rockstar pimp!
I've went from Virgin to 33 girls in 3 years w/ RSD. You just gotta do it man!
100% listen to this. He speaks the truth
__________________
"Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat." - Oscar Wilde
100% listen to this. He speaks the truth
Thanks buddy! =)
__________________
Quintessence of RSD -- http://www.rsdnation.com/node/176208/forum
Internet Marketing forums - www.wickedfire.com
My favorite radio station -- http://www.iheart.com/#/live/4828/
High value marketing coaching - www.ppc-coach.com
My favorite books - The Millionaire Fastlane // Four Hour Work Week // 7 Habits of Highly Effective People // Think and Grow Rich // Power of Now // Sex God Method
Quintessence of RSD -- http://www.rsdnation.com/node/176208/forum
Internet Marketing forums - www.wickedfire.com
My favorite radio station -- http://www.iheart.com/#/live/4828/
High value marketing coaching - www.ppc-coach.com
My favorite books - The Millionaire Fastlane // Four Hour Work Week // 7 Habits of Highly Effective People // Think and Grow Rich // Power of Now // Sex God Method
I was in preschool and saw this girl with dark hair named Katie. I asked her to be my girlfriend. She said yes.
__________________
Sluts, Beer, and Metal!
My Field Reports:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/208534/forum
If you are a Newb READ THIS FIRST, THEN GO OUT:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/170650
Whatever I thought might hold me back, I avoided. I crossed girls off my list, except as tools for my sexual needs." - From the 1977 autobiography "Arnold: The Education of a Bodybuilder" by Arnold Schwarzenegger
My Field Reports:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/208534/forum
If you are a Newb READ THIS FIRST, THEN GO OUT:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/170650
Whatever I thought might hold me back, I avoided. I crossed girls off my list, except as tools for my sexual needs." - From the 1977 autobiography "Arnold: The Education of a Bodybuilder" by Arnold Schwarzenegger
I was in preschool and saw this girl with dark hair named Katie. I asked her to be my girlfriend. She said yes.
I just texted this to a girl. True story.jpg.
You just need to accept that you are probably going to get blown out. As soon as you can accept that and become ok with it you will feel better. Sometimes if I tell myself that I'm practicing, it takes the pressure off. For a long time I practiced, I didn't even consider that the girls might actually like me. I just thought "Well, I'll practice and someday I'll get real good at this stuff, but right now I'm just practicing." Also cut down your hessitation time. The longer you wait to open a set, the less likely you will actually open it.
Goundy
Member
Join Date: 02/13/2012 | Posts: 81
I'm currently working on approaching by myself and I'm finding it impossible. Its not that theres not enough initiative or willpower, all I can say is its really fucking hard. This is in no way a circle jerk (saying its hard and giving up), I would just like to know some first hand experiences of other people overcoming a gargantuan task like approaching by themselves the first time or their very first approach or their first mixed set.
I would appreciate if comments divided from the typical, douchy "get over it/grow some balls pussy/I get laid so easily, you should to". Trying my best is all I can do so now that I've hit a rock , I'm reachign out to other like minded people who can offer me some of their experiences in this field.
1. What where you feeling?
2. How long did it take for you to set a goal liek the ones mentioned above for yourself and achieving it?
3. Do you still have the fear?
4. How did you do it?
Thanks gents, I appreciate the comments.
-Field Reports
-Mad adventures
-Getting laid
-Pictures
www.rsdnation.com/node/235517/forum