THE FORUMS
How To Change My Values???? Important for the formula of human behavior!
I don't think it's really a question of changing your values. I think it's a question of changing what you focus on.
We all know that we should work out and eat healthy. Before a person puts a slice of pizza into their mouth, their values are still the same, but they are violating them. They are focusing on the immediate gain they are going to get in the form of physical pleasure from taste and the other biological effects of eating good tasting food.
If, instead, a person sees a pizza and immediately starts visualizing themselves being horribly fat or vividly remembering an event that them being overweight caused a lot of pain, then they will be less likely to eat it. As Anthony Robbins says, if you associate massive pain to something you don't want, and massive pleasure to what you do want, then you can make a change.
Anytime I start to crave food I shouldn't have I vividly imagine a couple of different particularly painful experiences of girls choosing other guys over me because I was insecure (stemming from physique). Once I catch myself going down that old thought process of imagining eating the good food, I slap myself in the face and start visualizing the pain. Then I visualize myself with a ripped body and visualize the times when I've fucked beautiful women.
So, I don't know that you really need to change your core values. It's more of finding ways to stick to your values that you already have.
We all know that we should work out and eat healthy. Before a person puts a slice of pizza into their mouth, their values are still the same, but they are violating them. They are focusing on the immediate gain they are going to get in the form of physical pleasure from taste and the other biological effects of eating good tasting food.
If, instead, a person sees a pizza and immediately starts visualizing themselves being horribly fat or vividly remembering an event that them being overweight caused a lot of pain, then they will be less likely to eat it. As Anthony Robbins says, if you associate massive pain to something you don't want, and massive pleasure to what you do want, then you can make a change.
Anytime I start to crave food I shouldn't have I vividly imagine a couple of different particularly painful experiences of girls choosing other guys over me because I was insecure (stemming from physique). Once I catch myself going down that old thought process of imagining eating the good food, I slap myself in the face and start visualizing the pain. Then I visualize myself with a ripped body and visualize the times when I've fucked beautiful women.
So, I don't know that you really need to change your core values. It's more of finding ways to stick to your values that you already have.
I agree and disagree with what you wrote. I believe most of what we do is based on survival instinct. This applies to the donut example you've used. Since our ancestors were first able to eat complex carbs, we've obtained evolutionary preferences (not so much an advantage now, huh) to eat high calorie food, as food was scarce. This is a subconcious part of our brain - we have no control over it. But those with willpower and those who've proven to their brain that they can thrive without donuts don't want them anymore. The strength of your subconscious mind stays the same, yet your conscious mind's strength fluctuates constantly (every damn second).
The best way to prove to your brain that you can do it, is to fight through it. We call this leaving the "comfort zone". Deciding something as simple as not to eat a donut or something as difficult as approaching a girl for example, time and time again, tells your brain you don't need to have your subconscious to control your life for you. If you think leaving comfort zones is a new thing, you are wrong. This is the main reason why we have developed a conscious mind, it is far easier to adapt to a new evironment through critical thinking than evolve over millions of years. With a conscious mind backed by experience, you overpower your subconscious. This is probably the most important thing one can learn in his life and is the reason why wisdom is better than smarts. I believe it was tyler who once said "our brain wants proof, not promises".
I hope this helps. When I've realized this, my life changed dra-fucking-matically.
The best way to prove to your brain that you can do it, is to fight through it. We call this leaving the "comfort zone". Deciding something as simple as not to eat a donut or something as difficult as approaching a girl for example, time and time again, tells your brain you don't need to have your subconscious to control your life for you. If you think leaving comfort zones is a new thing, you are wrong. This is the main reason why we have developed a conscious mind, it is far easier to adapt to a new evironment through critical thinking than evolve over millions of years. With a conscious mind backed by experience, you overpower your subconscious. This is probably the most important thing one can learn in his life and is the reason why wisdom is better than smarts. I believe it was tyler who once said "our brain wants proof, not promises".
I hope this helps. When I've realized this, my life changed dra-fucking-matically.
__________________
Great input, guys.
@tyler0351,
I think I get the confusion I had. Motivation does NOT mean that you will take action. Your values might be on health and you want to work out but for procrastination reason you will not.
BUT:
You have the value to eat healthy but you still eat the donut. So this would get down to that the brain views eating the donut more valuebal (GAINful) IN the moment, than you imagine the consequences as painful. Your brain tells you, you get more from eating it than you'd benefit from not eating it, in that particular instance. Or put negatively: it is more painful to abstain than to eat it.
But why is that?
Your example with the pizza is exactly the same with gain and pain. But why would you IN THE MOMENT view eating the pizza as valuable(gainful) if you have the values that you value your health???
I have this theory that the brain always does what it views as more gainful. Eg:
Somebody rapes a girl because the gain of having sex is higher for him than the imagined pain of possible conviction followed by time spent in prison.
Why else would he rape?
Or why don't you rape? Of course there is the point of morality, but even that is just fueling your PAIN side because you'll have a bad conscience. So if you don't have that because you are a psychopath and because you fail to realize the consquences ot the rape, or because you REALLY REALLY like raping and it's thus so much more gainful than the pain of the consequences YOU WILL RAPE.
So I was thinking by manipulating the brain's response of percieved GAIN and PAIN we can control human action.
Isn't that what the law does in a way? To stop everybody from speeding on the high way it raises the PAIN side by installing fines! Plus the moral side which also gives PAIN by propaganding that SPEEDING IS BAD.
Further:
The case may be:
You don't work out because you don't have the value of working out. What does it get back to? This person would value their comfort more than they value their fitness. Their brain tells them you get more GAIN from watching TV than from working out, or said negatively: it's more painful to workout than watch TV.
So this person is just uninspired?
Maybe take another example than working out to make it more easy to understand. Like reading. Somebody may not read because he doesn't value reading. Simple. So this person will certainly not help himself, why would he? How could he. And could at most be helped if stimulated externally to value reading!
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@ClintHardwood. I'm not sur I get completly waht you mean.
You think we can use our conscious mind aka will power to overpower our subconscous desires or behavior patterns and the brain will then realize that what it held unconsciuosly may in fact be wrong? It can realize this by the proof it got from not having died by going against it's unconscious judgment?
So the take away would be: exercise will power and eventually your brain will rewire itself to accept the new reality. Did I understand you correctly?
@tyler0351,
I think I get the confusion I had. Motivation does NOT mean that you will take action. Your values might be on health and you want to work out but for procrastination reason you will not.
BUT:
You have the value to eat healthy but you still eat the donut. So this would get down to that the brain views eating the donut more valuebal (GAINful) IN the moment, than you imagine the consequences as painful. Your brain tells you, you get more from eating it than you'd benefit from not eating it, in that particular instance. Or put negatively: it is more painful to abstain than to eat it.
But why is that?
Your example with the pizza is exactly the same with gain and pain. But why would you IN THE MOMENT view eating the pizza as valuable(gainful) if you have the values that you value your health???
I have this theory that the brain always does what it views as more gainful. Eg:
Somebody rapes a girl because the gain of having sex is higher for him than the imagined pain of possible conviction followed by time spent in prison.
Why else would he rape?
Or why don't you rape? Of course there is the point of morality, but even that is just fueling your PAIN side because you'll have a bad conscience. So if you don't have that because you are a psychopath and because you fail to realize the consquences ot the rape, or because you REALLY REALLY like raping and it's thus so much more gainful than the pain of the consequences YOU WILL RAPE.
So I was thinking by manipulating the brain's response of percieved GAIN and PAIN we can control human action.
Isn't that what the law does in a way? To stop everybody from speeding on the high way it raises the PAIN side by installing fines! Plus the moral side which also gives PAIN by propaganding that SPEEDING IS BAD.
Further:
The case may be:
You don't work out because you don't have the value of working out. What does it get back to? This person would value their comfort more than they value their fitness. Their brain tells them you get more GAIN from watching TV than from working out, or said negatively: it's more painful to workout than watch TV.
So this person is just uninspired?
Maybe take another example than working out to make it more easy to understand. Like reading. Somebody may not read because he doesn't value reading. Simple. So this person will certainly not help himself, why would he? How could he. And could at most be helped if stimulated externally to value reading!
<===============>
@ClintHardwood. I'm not sur I get completly waht you mean.
You think we can use our conscious mind aka will power to overpower our subconscous desires or behavior patterns and the brain will then realize that what it held unconsciuosly may in fact be wrong? It can realize this by the proof it got from not having died by going against it's unconscious judgment?
So the take away would be: exercise will power and eventually your brain will rewire itself to accept the new reality. Did I understand you correctly?
Exactly.
__________________
Porfiry
Senior Member
Join Date: 05/29/2011 | Posts: 167
Examples:
You want to approach because you want to fuck. This is your gain. You don't do it however because the thought of rejection, your pain, is bigger than the imagnined gain of the sex in your mind.
You want to lose weight. You still eat that donut because your imagined gain, the pleasure of eating the sweetness, is bigger than the imagined pain of having to abstain.
Does it make sense? This is my theory of fundamental human behaviour.
Do you agree with it? You can apply it ON ANYTHING in your life.
Further, the gain can also be based in your values. For instance, if you value health more than chocolate you will not eat the Reese's cup.
Now the question is:
How can you change your values? Say you want to value peak physical condition more than the pleasure of good food? So it's a gain for you to say no to ice cream, instead of a pain. Because you value the health more than the pleasure of eating.
Do you get what I mean?
How can we change our values that decide which actions we take?
Thanks for contribution.