THE FORUMS

April 19th, 2014
This shit is lasting for too long. It messed me up when I did stupid things and she had enough of it.
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NaturalTine

NaturalTine

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/06/2012 | Posts: 174

I`ve got a bit of a problem..  In short, I was about to be with one girl, then I found this PUA stuff and fucked everything up. She fucked me off about 3 months ago, we argued several times- mostly about what mistakes have I made, how many times he gave me another chance and that I blew it everytime. When she fucked me off, it really messed me up, I stopped contacting her and I`ve been working on forgetting her and I`ve been doing pretty good, but now I figured out that i`m still pretty fucked up when I think of her or when I see her. I usually don`t have these problems with moving on to the next one, but here.. I don`t know. Somewhere along the line I fell in love with her. And I barely control myself not to write her and just ask her out or smth like that. This shit is lasting for too long, so I have to do smth quickly...
Now I`m asking for advice.. Should I continue supressing this until it goes away? Or do I just tell her smth, or ask her out, try it for the last time one night or smth?
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#1
NaturalTine

NaturalTine

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/06/2012 | Posts: 174

Thanks for the great advice.. But still some questions..
What do you mean "drop her a line"?
Well, I was messed up with PUA, bcs I got in touch with it first time and it was all new for me. And all the sudden I started reading all those books etc. I changed the way I acted towards her completely in no time. It was all going well, but I started with all those tacticts, what should I say, what shouldn`t I say and so on...  So yeah.. Now when time went by, I found RSD, I took it easy and I developed solid personality and my beliefs, so no I`m no longer messed up. At least I think so. 
I`m taking this time from I think 1-2 months ago. But now is the problem that I don`t know what`s going on with her, if she`s dating someone (she danced at a prom with some guy).. + I`m scared that if I contact her again, she will think that I want her or smth, she will blow me off, whatever. Tons of stuff going through my head :P Any advices on this?
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#2
NaturalTine

NaturalTine

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/06/2012 | Posts: 174

Yeah... It`s so fucked up, bcs a million things are running through my head and I complicate everything even more bcs of this. 
I mean, I guess it would be clear that I want smth bcs I contacted her.. But still, that strange feeling, that I have to play it as cool as I can so I don`t blew up my chances. My problem is that I want to make this "come-back" perfect.. Caring about the outcome. And bcs of this, I never really decide what to do, I think about it too much and that stuff..
And yeah, you`re deffinetly right about this last one.. I guess it would come off even more hard-try, if I tried to play it cool, when in fact I want her..
I`m just not sure that she likes me back. And I know I will figure that out by contacting her. But I want to create attraction again and I can`t do that if I get blown out right at the start. So I try to pick the best moment to do everything in one. But I`ve been waiting too long for this to happen...
I sound pretty fucked up, don`t I? :P
Really thanks for very useful advices again :)
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#3
NaturalTine

NaturalTine

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/06/2012 | Posts: 174

I just hope that I will be able to move on as quicker as possible. I`m really trying SO hard to move on. So results will come, I guess...
But the interesting part is, that when there is nothing special going on, everything is normal. I feel great, I don`t think of her so much etc.. But when some "extreme" situation comes, it beats me up badly... So that`s what I`m concerned. That even if nothing happens between us and it`s all normal, I move on, I know that when I will see her with some other guy or if again smth will happen, it will fuck me up again.. And that`s what I don`t want...
I guess the best thing to do is, first contact her and after that move on to the next one and simply find someone else..
And about the lessons.. Yeah, this experience changed me so much and I really started to learn from my mistakes.. And bcs of that, I`m kind a happy that this happened :)
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#4

sucker4love

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/12/2010 | Posts: 1374

I'm in same the boat as you bro. My girl broke up with me 2 days ago after over our 1.5 year relationship I've tried to break up with her 3 times., She also told me all the times I fucked up and I felt like shit but then I noticed why I fucked up. Because deep down I didn't want to be with her. I knew I wouldnt end up with her but I kept sticking with it cuz honestly, I was scared of the pain of a breakup. I  was so used to her. and comfortable.  So really, if I got back together with her now, which I still have a chance, she still loves me, would it be better for either of us? No, because we both werent happy. I treated her like shit cuz I didnt wanna be with her and she took all my shit. Sooo in essence, what we are doing is taking a break until we are both mature enough to be friends. But don't even go back if it wasn't working in the first place, the same exact problems will arise. Sometimes people are just different. I'm handling this breakup a lot better but my last one I was shot for months. I was destroyed. And now I don't even think of the girl. At all!! So I know it feels like it wont pass but it will and if you honestly felt you couldnt be with her then and nothing significant has changed and you still wanna meet new girls and see whats out there, then why go back? For more heartache that leads to another breakup? You've been through the pain of it for months now, why get back together just to eventually break up if your not compatible as it seems your not and then go through the pain AGAIN!! Go meet new girls dude. I'm planning to hit it hard this weekend and forget about this nagging scarcity feeling in my head.
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"First you have to give up, first you have to *know*... not fear... *know*... that someday you're gonna die."- Tyler Durden(Fight Club)

Hit me up by PM if you want to game in NYC. Don't care about your skill level just need the balls to approach and have a good time. Always looking for new people to game with.
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#5
NaturalTine

NaturalTine

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/06/2012 | Posts: 174

@Sucker4love... Dude nice post. Probably I`m thinking short-term too much. I won`t marry this girl, so why bother so much. But still, like you said, heartache is still here and although I can convince my logical side with this kind a posts and thinking, I still get fucked when smth big happens with her...
Tomorrow I`m going on a Playboy mansion, then I`m going to France for 1 week and after that 1 week in Spain.. So I hope this will help me to distract myself and leave that "heartache" behind :) I just have to get this scarctiy mindset out of my head, bcs I was thinking the other day why am I so into this girl.. Bcs I really hit it off with her well, we talked about everything, I felt comfortable and I had someone. When she left, emptiness appeared, there was no other girl and I felt and I still feel that I need to have to her, so I will feel better. And bcs she`s a girl... Well, it`s much easier to find a man for them to fill the same gap at them. She moved on, I haven`t..
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#6

sucker4love

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/12/2010 | Posts: 1374

NaturalTine wrote:
@Sucker4love... Dude nice post. Probably I`m thinking short-term too much. I won`t marry this girl, so why bother so much. But still, like you said, heartache is still here and although I can convince my logical side with this kind a posts and thinking, I still get fucked when smth big happens with her...
Tomorrow I`m going on a Playboy mansion, then I`m going to France for 1 week and after that 1 week in Spain.. So I hope this will help me to distract myself and leave that "heartache" behind :) I just have to get this scarctiy mindset out of my head, bcs I was thinking the other day why am I so into this girl.. Bcs I really hit it off with her well, we talked about everything, I felt comfortable and I had someone. When she left, emptiness appeared, there was no other girl and I felt and I still feel that I need to have to her, so I will feel better. And bcs she`s a girl... Well, it`s much easier to find a man for them to fill the same gap at them. She moved on, I haven`t..
thats why men are stronger bro. We dont have 50 girls hitting on us at bars after a breakup. We gotta work for our shit. Thats why we come out 10 times stronger and become icey motherfuckers
__________________
"First you have to give up, first you have to *know*... not fear... *know*... that someday you're gonna die."- Tyler Durden(Fight Club)

Hit me up by PM if you want to game in NYC. Don't care about your skill level just need the balls to approach and have a good time. Always looking for new people to game with.
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#7

sucker4love

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/12/2010 | Posts: 1374

NaturalTine wrote:
@Sucker4love... Dude nice post. Probably I`m thinking short-term too much. I won`t marry this girl, so why bother so much. But still, like you said, heartache is still here and although I can convince my logical side with this kind a posts and thinking, I still get fucked when smth big happens with her...
Tomorrow I`m going on a Playboy mansion, then I`m going to France for 1 week and after that 1 week in Spain.. So I hope this will help me to distract myself and leave that "heartache" behind :) I just have to get this scarctiy mindset out of my head, bcs I was thinking the other day why am I so into this girl.. Bcs I really hit it off with her well, we talked about everything, I felt comfortable and I had someone. When she left, emptiness appeared, there was no other girl and I felt and I still feel that I need to have to her, so I will feel better. And bcs she`s a girl... Well, it`s much easier to find a man for them to fill the same gap at them. She moved on, I haven`t..
thats why men are stronger bro. We dont have 50 girls hitting on us at bars after a breakup. We gotta work for our shit. Thats why we come out 10 times stronger and become icey motherfuckers
__________________
"First you have to give up, first you have to *know*... not fear... *know*... that someday you're gonna die."- Tyler Durden(Fight Club)

Hit me up by PM if you want to game in NYC. Don't care about your skill level just need the balls to approach and have a good time. Always looking for new people to game with.
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#8
NaturalTine

NaturalTine

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/06/2012 | Posts: 174

Fuck yeah :)) That˙s really true as hell :)
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#9

sucker4love

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/12/2010 | Posts: 1374

No Demi, I don't regret my relationship. I grew and learned from it. I meant icey as in going back to having fun, living life, not moping around like a bitch all day and when your ready for another relationship(when your READY) then go into it full force and enjoy it. Not talking about  burning every woman at all as you say lol
Demi-Angel wrote:
A) it is much easier to find a man but that doesn't necessarily fill in the gap you left because all men are not the same just like all people are not the same as you know.
B) Icey? You mean bitter spiteful motherchuckers on a mission to burn every women you meet for the pain one caused you. I'm sorry I don't agree. I've been hurt tons and I think most woman will agree that after our hurt we don't go stuff dudes may they burn and I shall use them as distractions to fill in that one's gap.
C) All the solutions are not solutions it's running away from admitting that it hurts and that you're a little afraid of the loneliness and the unknown without her.
__________________
"First you have to give up, first you have to *know*... not fear... *know*... that someday you're gonna die."- Tyler Durden(Fight Club)

Hit me up by PM if you want to game in NYC. Don't care about your skill level just need the balls to approach and have a good time. Always looking for new people to game with.
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#10
NaturalTine

NaturalTine

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/06/2012 | Posts: 174

Well yeah, that`s true, but I meant that it`s different with men and women. +Even if she doesn`t fill that gap, I don`t have any use of it, so.. :)
I meant icey as sucker4love said and icey as not putting as much emotional investment into girls I meet as I used to. Taking it easy :)
Everyone deals with this shit on their own way.. I was trying to supress it and although it is not a good solution, but it at least keeps me from feeling bad all the time. So I blocked her on Facebook for example, not to see what is happening with her, I told my friend not to tell me about her and what she`s doing and what is happening, I keep some distance from her.. And I`m on to the new ones of course :)
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There are no lesbians.. Just women, who never met me :)
Read my thoughts about social dynamics, interactions and everything there is, on: http://www.rsdnation.com/naturaltine/blog
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