THE FORUMS
Validation Seeking Through Pickup = POINTLESS
Good post, I agree with everything you said.
It's hard to overcome that feeling of not trying to impress people. It can feel very good to brag to your buddies about your latest threesome but what's the point?
One of the best things I've learned recently, is that a badass dude doesn't need to brag about his sexual exploits. He doesn't need to introduce his girlsa to guys around him.
Everyone around him will become immediately aware of these facts simply because they're subcommunicated through body language.
People in my house see me pull girls into my room regularly. They hear us having sex. They ask me about it later. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.
Like every high school football coach ever would say, "Act like ya been there before son."
It's hard to overcome that feeling of not trying to impress people. It can feel very good to brag to your buddies about your latest threesome but what's the point?
One of the best things I've learned recently, is that a badass dude doesn't need to brag about his sexual exploits. He doesn't need to introduce his girlsa to guys around him.
Everyone around him will become immediately aware of these facts simply because they're subcommunicated through body language.
People in my house see me pull girls into my room regularly. They hear us having sex. They ask me about it later. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.
Like every high school football coach ever would say, "Act like ya been there before son."
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Building an attractive lifestyle of abundance through finance, women, and personal development.
My assumptions of the photos (for shits and gigs):
1st guy: They're work friends. They're at a house party. He hasn't laid either of them and never will.
2nd guys: Seems like a bit of a more private party. Someones offering some form of suplication to keep these girls around (for example, drugs). They may get laid, but that's only because the girls will be too fucked up to know what they're doing.
3rd guy: Poor guy. Poor chode. This may be a staff photo, or this girl is going around taking photos with drooling idiots. I've been to bars and clubs where they do that. They're not gettin it on, she's much more worried about her pose than his dumbstruck face.
4th guy: Yeah they're sucked into 'douchebag frame', they seem pretty oblivious to it all. Douchebag might get laid, but nothing will come out of it in the form of a relationship or any serious connection of any kind, other than a steroid fuck.
5th guy: Again, she's sucked in the douche's frame. These douchebags usually have surprisingly strong frames and alot of core confidence.. But in all honesty, judging a book by it's cover, Snooki's no prize either...
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1st guy: They're work friends. They're at a house party. He hasn't laid either of them and never will.
2nd guys: Seems like a bit of a more private party. Someones offering some form of suplication to keep these girls around (for example, drugs). They may get laid, but that's only because the girls will be too fucked up to know what they're doing.
3rd guy: Poor guy. Poor chode. This may be a staff photo, or this girl is going around taking photos with drooling idiots. I've been to bars and clubs where they do that. They're not gettin it on, she's much more worried about her pose than his dumbstruck face.
4th guy: Yeah they're sucked into 'douchebag frame', they seem pretty oblivious to it all. Douchebag might get laid, but nothing will come out of it in the form of a relationship or any serious connection of any kind, other than a steroid fuck.
5th guy: Again, she's sucked in the douche's frame. These douchebags usually have surprisingly strong frames and alot of core confidence.. But in all honesty, judging a book by it's cover, Snooki's no prize either...
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It's whatever.
rock, I have thought about this to, for instance I just got back from a day two.. I didn't tell anybody I was going, not one person. ItS like I don't want people to know my business. I don't need to seek reactions from people,I used to but not anymore. I have also been a victim of gossip in the past and thats probably plays a part in why I'm this way now. To me being the man is self explanatory I don't need to show you,you can see it. Any bragging is totally unessersary. Internal validation is a destination which we all seek, I am still guilty of seeking validation from the girl im interacting with from time to time. But peers and shit? Nar I don't need it.
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Read bonneys blog: http://www.rsdnation.com/william-h-bonney/blog
fresh perspective
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pimps do what they want, hoes do what they are told, squares do what they can
Actually, impressing A MAN feels even worse than impressing a GIRL when you are aware of these concepts.
Sometimes I get complimented by GUYS for clothes and other things I bought and it feels fucking WEIRD.
Sometimes I get complimented by GUYS for clothes and other things I bought and it feels fucking WEIRD.
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the chick in the last pic has a nice ass
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RockNRollPUA
Trusted Member
Join Date: 12/14/2008 | Posts: 1698
The Above images courtesy of www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com
This post is not for the guys that are actually learning pickup for the PURE purpose of getting girls. This post is for the guys who are learning success with women to get girls, but also try to impress their guy friends / Dudes on Pickup Forums / Co workers / Random Chodes.
Be honest with your selves. What is your opinion of the guys in the above pictures. Do you think these guys are cool? Do you actually give a fuck about whether or not these guys are banging these chicks? Do you wish that you were in these pictures so you could show them to your friends so they will think that you are cool? OR do you simply just want to fuck the girls in the pictures and not give a fuck about any of that other bullshit? Be honest with yourself because this one simple thing will tell you allot about where you are at as far as actually becoming a player VS being a keyboard jocky nerd.
The truth is NOBODY GIVES A FUCK IF YOU ARE COOL. Nobody gives a fuck if you get chicks. If you are one of those guys that seeks validation on pickup artist forums, realise that the validation you are getting about 95% of the time is from other dudes who also suck with women and are easily impressed. 95% of your friends are chodes, even if they know about "The Game". Dudes that are actually cool, also don't give a fuck about your success. The only person who actually cares is you. So who are you trying to impress? The girls? They don't care either. They are busy seeking validation from men as well.
Ultimatelly you need to be in this game for your own enjoyment, sexual pleasure, amusement and nobody elses. Posting on forums such as this is a good thing if you are seeking FEEDBACK on ideas or ADVICE. The forum can hinder many guys, especially keyboard jockies who use the forums as a means for validation and keeping up the illusion that they are some kind of guru or big pimp. When you let go of the need for validation to feed your ego, only then can you develop real core confidence and not fake core confidence that is based on the approval of other people. Seeking the approval of other men is actually worse than seeking the approval of women. It is way way way more chode. There is a fine line between seeking feedback to help speed up your progress, and seeking a pat on the back from other guys in the community. This problem is rampant in newbies/intermediate guys. It is a hard thing to progress beyond because humans naturally seek approval of other humans in order to gain permission to act more confident in their environments.
What does validation get you in practical terms? Nothing. Maybe you get a small burst of dopamine and a few good emotions. The problem is that you should be learning to generate good feelings from within.
If you want to find the glitch in the matrix that is core confidence, this behavior needs to be replaced with seeking approval only from yourself. The only person you are competing with is you. Keep that in mind with every action that you take. Are you doing something to impress others or are you doing it purely because you want to do it?
My Field Reports:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/208534/forum
If you are a Newb READ THIS FIRST, THEN GO OUT:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/170650
Whatever I thought might hold me back, I avoided. I crossed girls off my list, except as tools for my sexual needs." - From the 1977 autobiography "Arnold: The Education of a Bodybuilder" by Arnold Schwarzenegger