THE FORUMS

I wanted to call this relationship 101 but I'm not really here to claim Im now an expert on the topic.

I currently have a girlfriend.

We've broken up seriously twice.

When I first got her I was playing this big "player persona"  and after you've started actually dating someone this is incredibly hard to keep, however I thought of myself as someone who knew quite a bit about pickup and had some skills.

But, I was never "fully there"

This lasted about 9months then we decided we were bored with our relationship and broke it off.

What came after this what a period of massive chodeness and despair, I wanted to pump up my game to get her back, this only resulted in eventually getting back but having me in an extremely paranoid and reactive mindset, it only lasted about 2 months, and I also learned quite a bit about myself in terms on what I was doign wrong and ways I needed to improve.

I was devastated but determined to improve.

So I decided to break all contact with her, I was very heart broken but I became a tryhard with all the other girls. This of course made me needy but eventually sarted getting some results (I was still all butthurt and thinking about her and all that junk)

Finally I started getting more consistent results and got intop an abundant mindset.

Later on we accidentally met somewhere and started talkign again.

Like I've said before I was now in an abundant mindset and feeling like "the shit". Anyways I really considered what goign back to an ex would be like, growth vs comfort, am I goign to be all reactive again, all that stuff.

What I learned is the following:

-       Realtionships fuck with your mind and even when you think you're in control you might lose it especially if you were a chode growing up, it's easy to revert to those mindsets once you get a girlfriend, it's as if  you think you don't have to be alpha and the shit anymore.

-       Be willing to just let her go at any time: Oftentimes we think "yeah I can just let her go if she wants" after a couple breakups and getting into an abundance mindset I know I'd probably be butthurt again but I've actually REALLY internalized that it's just another girl

-      Make sure you stay abundant: having a girlfriend doesn't mean you dont have othe roptions, keep you life with a constant inflow of girls, set up social circles with plently of girls run "game" on them, abundance is vital.

-      Stop seekign your girlfriends approval, this is something that started happening to me and I didnt even notice. It's pretty easy to stop seekign for approval if you think about it. Just act and never look at her reaction for your actions. this is pretty basic pickup stuff but somehow it always manage to creep in again.

-       Be normal, while still being the shit you gotta realize that being yourself is enough, that self-acceptance vs self-improvement paradox. Hold yourself as someone who is always improving but still remember that there's nothing except that that you gotta do to "keep" your girl.

-      Be unreactive to her bullshit but draw boundaries when enough is enough. She will always have some kind of bullshit goign on because she is a woman, simple.

That's all I can think of so far, it's hard to not let the BS creep in, those are my 2cents, papa posted a great thread on somehting like this too.

Cheers