THE FORUMS
What causes girls to check you out and smile at you wherever you go? Is energy real? Is it state? Lack of desperation?
Hello all,
After living in a new city for 5 weeks I have not been getting much good eyecontact, smiles or indicators of interest if you will. It has almost been unusual and a little weird for me and to be honest, I have not had much action at all.
Suddenly, today I`ve had more eyecontact, smiles, girls checking me out, etc, than I`ve had in the last 4 weeks combined. A girl I checked out in the gym and got good eyecontact with, suddenly was standing right beside me and doing some stupid exercise while looking at me. I caught her looking at me several times. Another example was this girl who gave me a great smile at the grocery store, even though I was absolutely exhausted and not smiling after a very hard workout.
What the hell changed? I can`t say I`ve been feeling great today, even slightly tired or down and not smiling very much. But I got a new haircut and I have this girl who have been chasing me the last days. Is that it? Is there some desperation that is gone from my eyes? Or is it random?
I can`t say that I feel there have been any desperation on my end and I do have options. I also generally feel very happy and fulfilled. Yet today, something was different.
Any theories on this or similar experiences? :)
Kind regards,
John
Too much outcome dependency. I am a fairly good looking, frequent approach invitations or girls approaching but, I am no model and its not way to handle cold approach. Cold approach is about being a man of high value. I have had nights where I have gotten opened by the prettiest girl in the club. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of assuming she had a boyfriend since a beta male was following her around the club. Lesson learned. I have had nights where the pull is just granted to me or I am asked if I am here with anyone? It can be fools mate or just a great night but, it has its down fall. That down fall being outcome dependency. After living in a new city for 5 weeks I have not been getting much good eyecontact, smiles or indicators of interest if you will. It has almost been unusual and a little weird for me and to be honest, I have not had much action at all.
Suddenly, today I`ve had more eyecontact, smiles, girls checking me out, etc, than I`ve had in the last 4 weeks combined. A girl I checked out in the gym and got good eyecontact with, suddenly was standing right beside me and doing some stupid exercise while looking at me. I caught her looking at me several times. Another example was this girl who gave me a great smile at the grocery store, even though I was absolutely exhausted and not smiling after a very hard workout.
What the hell changed? I can`t say I`ve been feeling great today, even slightly tired or down and not smiling very much. But I got a new haircut and I have this girl who have been chasing me the last days. Is that it? Is there some desperation that is gone from my eyes? Or is it random?
I can`t say that I feel there have been any desperation on my end and I do have options. I also generally feel very happy and fulfilled. Yet today, something was different.
Any theories on this or similar experiences? :)
Kind regards,
John
I mentioned in the approach thread about a 99% success rate with numbers in the past six week since my relationship ended though, the pull ratio or batting average is much lower. Its unfortunate but, that is the truth. I am also busying myself with a lot of things from working out, hot yoga, martial arts, reading (investment, self help, business etc), investing, maximizing my financial portfolio and savings contribution, purchasing properties, increasing my contribution to my mortgage, education, career, cold approach pick up, sports, and a bunch of other stuff. I mentioned in that thread about attention whores, about a girl asking if I am here with anyone, instant make out, four play early on, and then, she starts shit testing. Flirting with other guys, scoring free drinks, checking for my response, testing to see if I give chase or if I approach other girls. My response was approach other girls, get numbers, try to pull. The girl instead comes back, tries to chase, and win me over. I pull. When I go out again, I expect my life to be that much easier, and girls to give the exact same attention. No such luck man. What happened? I am same guy. I did the exact samething. I may have even dressed the same and was confident. The problem was there was now outcome dependency. I had a preset expectation for the night, for girls to just come, and that, all I had to do was show up.
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/235990
In the past six weeks, I have come up with some new insights, and have been approaching since the relationship has ended. I am in my mid 20s. I keep learning and I am just hammering out the journey. Check out the link. Maybe there was some sort of insight that may help you there.
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Whenever you meet a beautiful woman, just remember somewhere there's a man who's sick of shagging her.
You magically became more attractive over night......
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double post, my bad
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Pretty sure girls can tell how rigid a guy is just by his vibe. Whenever I've an "anything goes" vibe about me, that's the shit that attracts massive stares and approaches and "iois" my way. It's ridiculous and inevitably messes up my game because I get all arrogant and attachd to that state and end up losing it.
But then I gain it back without the ego.
Ladna pretty much nailed it. It's kinda like magic. One night you can suck fat shit and the next night you can be icy as shit. Sick.
But then I gain it back without the ego.
Ladna pretty much nailed it. It's kinda like magic. One night you can suck fat shit and the next night you can be icy as shit. Sick.
Appreciate the replies, guys.
I want this state to be my permanent state, because when in this state there is no game at all. At least there is no worry about game, because I`m truly indifferent. Like me, don`t like me, I could not care less, since I like myself and I`m happy.
The day after, I was in a completely different state and had girls walk right past me. I did not believe in myself and nor did they.
The smile does not matter. We discussed this earlier in the thread. The day I wrote the previous post in this thread from me, I was in a great mood and I smiled to all the girls I met. On the day when I made this original thread, I was not smiling very much at all, but girls were still looking.
Keys to this state:
- Indifferent and not looking for anything outside of yourself.
- Happy?
I want this state to be my permanent state, because when in this state there is no game at all. At least there is no worry about game, because I`m truly indifferent. Like me, don`t like me, I could not care less, since I like myself and I`m happy.
The day after, I was in a completely different state and had girls walk right past me. I did not believe in myself and nor did they.
The smile does not matter. We discussed this earlier in the thread. The day I wrote the previous post in this thread from me, I was in a great mood and I smiled to all the girls I met. On the day when I made this original thread, I was not smiling very much at all, but girls were still looking.
Keys to this state:
- Indifferent and not looking for anything outside of yourself.
- Happy?
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"How can I make this fun?"
"Let`s go over and see what this girl is like."
"Let`s go over and see what this girl is like."
When I digested the Tolle material there was an increase of interest and eye contact.
Whenever I am really present and content with the moment no matter how boring it may appear I notice a significant increase.
Also when I was out the first time with the intention to approach there was another increase.
Whenever I am really present and content with the moment no matter how boring it may appear I notice a significant increase.
Also when I was out the first time with the intention to approach there was another increase.
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i'm qualified person to answer. it is feeling totally comfortable in your own skin. you don't need to be physical or loud at all. it's not necessary. what's most important is this internal comfort and carefree attitude. being kind of oblivious to everything around. no pinging off of other people. no looking around for potential danger. no scanning the place for girls. people see that you feel at home in that place. that's how you get that fucking RAS of most people in that place.
there must something to it hahah cause i get tons of glances from girls even when i'm in the club SOLO. no social proof. even when i'm strolling through the fucking dancefloor to the toilet chicks turn around and tempt me with sexy glances biting lips and stuff. i'm not handsome. 6ft tall, bigger ears, soft features, still not that in shape. but that comfort + killer body language/eye contact/moving style = magic
if you really want to break it down then go watch blueprint decoded and find that section where tyler talks about feeling at home in venues, swagger, being the selector etc.
sometimes when i snap out to look around to check the place i usually see guys in their head, kind of contrived, not stiff but rather reserved. it's subtle. but it's there. and when i as a guy can see that then what about girls hahahah..
QFTthere must something to it hahah cause i get tons of glances from girls even when i'm in the club SOLO. no social proof. even when i'm strolling through the fucking dancefloor to the toilet chicks turn around and tempt me with sexy glances biting lips and stuff. i'm not handsome. 6ft tall, bigger ears, soft features, still not that in shape. but that comfort + killer body language/eye contact/moving style = magic
if you really want to break it down then go watch blueprint decoded and find that section where tyler talks about feeling at home in venues, swagger, being the selector etc.
sometimes when i snap out to look around to check the place i usually see guys in their head, kind of contrived, not stiff but rather reserved. it's subtle. but it's there. and when i as a guy can see that then what about girls hahahah..
This is my EXACT experience with this too. I was talking to some girl who works with animals recently, she was showing me a scorpion and at one point she mentioned how the scorpion in my hand is similar to the Emporer Scorpion since '"he emporer is always relaxed". I remember repeating this to myself continously throughout the day, feeling really fucking chill afterwards. Never had so many girls checking me out. Issue is you genuinly have to not care whether they check you out, you cant be value scanning or seeking approval to see if girls find you attractive. RSD doesnt neccessarily say "Be attractive" but rather "Let go off approval seeking" and in turn you'll come across attractive. That and eye contact.
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gsaad
Respected Member
Join Date: 01/08/2012 | Posts: 465