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December 8th, 2016
When girl feels offended if I don't buy her a drink?!
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dave7

dave7

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/27/2010 | Posts: 1909

 So this has happened to me a few times lately, it just kinda confuses me. For example, tonight I was with this girl we were getting close and physical, I tried to kiss her a few times didn't happen but it seemed like things were progressing. She asked me what I drink, I said water, and she said blah blah "now this is the point in the conversation when you offer to buy me a drink". I lol'd and told her I don't buy girls drinks. We talked some more and shit, then she kinda just kept going back to that saying stuff like "if you won't buy me a drink, that means that you don't like me, that you wouldn't spend money on me" and shit like that. She actually seemed kinda sad by it. 

I told her "I won't buy you a drink b/c I like you". I was just tryin to plow through this, assuming that she didn't REALLY care about this but was just shit testing me. But in fact she did seem to care, and finally she left b/c I wouldn't buy her a drink. Now I know that possibly

a) she was just tryin to get me to buy her a drink all along
or 
b) she actually was really tied into the "buying a girl a drink" social conditioning and needed me to validate that process before things could move forward for her


I know most people would just say it is a). But either way I want to work on this hurdle in the interaction when it comes up. 
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#1
Hyperion_Dark

Hyperion_Dark

Trusted Member

Join Date: 02/28/2011 | Posts: 1497

Sometimes it really is B, man. Don't use the "don't buy any girl a drink EVER" as some strict rule, just a general guideline. Sometimes a chick needs to satisfy her little ego before she gets banged.
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#2
Amazing1985

Amazing1985

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Join Date: 06/26/2011 | Posts: 1171

I personally do not understand why some girls expect some guy they do not know to buy them drinks. I've been blown out pretty hard for not buying drinks. And it's annoying when bartender's openly say shit like "Are you gonna buy a drink for this lovely young lady too?"

You can say, "only if she's/you're a good kisser" shit like that. Keep having fun. I've tried saying, "no" or "I don't buy drinks" before and yea some girls get offended/judge you. I think the dynamics of the situation makes shit too serious. They are condition to frame shit as tne guy having to qualify himself to the girl by spending money on her. Which is so gay it's unbelievable. Just my opinion.

One time I was out with a chodey friend of mine and I approached a two set and they were almost immediately all "Are you gonna buy us drinks?" It happens often. One seemed like she was drunk and ready for dick but wanted to act like she had ADHD or something running around flirting with dudes teasing all willy nilly. She wanted my friend to buy her a drink. I let him do it just to see if she would make out with him like she said she would and she did end up making out with him.

I would say fuck those girls that get offended, but I can see their point if you come accross as a dick.
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#3
PowerMan

PowerMan

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/26/2012 | Posts: 303

 shes putting the brakes again and again, maybe she cant justify to herself getting with you, sometimes you gotta draw conclusions for girls that they themselves cant form
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#4
Cupcakes

Cupcakes

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Join Date: 12/14/2010 | Posts: 1274

LOL. Fail answers. Just tell her you don't know her yet. Easy. Never had this problem... Then again, I've never bought into the "buy her a drink" paradigm.
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#5
Asmodeusz

Asmodeusz

Member

Join Date: 12/29/2011 | Posts: 55

 "Healthy lifestyle bitch, you're not drinking under my watch, i can buy you a cup of juice at most, and even that's only when you'll be deserving it."

Or something along those lines.

You really don't have to buy her shit to close. You can if YOU want, but that's your choice.
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#6
Galahad

Galahad

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/26/2009 | Posts: 106

You should've gotten her to buy you a drink before she ever had the opportunity to ask you. Just remember her line "now this is the point in the conversation when you offer to buy me a drink" and use it on other girls in the future.

There are two outcomes if you do this 1) she actually buys you a drink and thinks you are fun 2) she doesn't buy you a drink, but still thinks you are fun and she won't be able to use the line herself.

Disarm all their big weapons before they even have a chance to use them.

Funny thing, in my experience, the hotter the girl the likeliker she is to play along and actually buy you the drink and think that you are awesome.
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#7
Tezer

Tezer

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/14/2011 | Posts: 973

I remember Brad saying the biggest mistake he made was not buying this hottie a drink when she was clearly into him.

Sometimes it's not so bad to just do it, make her wait for a little bit and then comply. I mean, it's just a socially conditioned way of saying "i respect you enough to buy you a drink, you've earned it", if she hasn't earned it, and is just a hot who you've got zero attraction for, then you sir... are a chode.
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#8

roadrally

Trusted Member

Join Date: 10/12/2009 | Posts: 2026

 Yeah

I dont think its always so bad to buy girls drink. I think its a good rule for newbies to follow to save their wallet. But if you look at a normal hot girls life. Drinks everywhere for free from random chodes. Thats just her reality to get a drink from a dude. Its like that time tyler talked about the stripper girl who said take me to dinner. The first time he said fuck that. He calls her like a month later, she says the same shit, so hes like whatever and buys her dinner and she ends up sleeping with him.

I also have some female friends who honestly give me the advice of if you are vibing with a girl and you like each other you should buy her a drink. 

I mean you have enough experience to see if shes just tooling you for drinks. But like for some girls if you just buy them the drink they would happily go home and sleep with you. 

So would you pay $5 for a rooftop pull and the possiblity of more? 

I guess it depends on your finances and values, but If I had a girl who was clearly into and pushed for the drink, I'd probably do it because one drink is not that big a deal for me, and usually I never buy drinks for me or a girl anyway so its not that expensive.
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My adventures in Dallas - 2013
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#9

roadrally

Trusted Member

Join Date: 10/12/2009 | Posts: 2026

 Oh yeah, I like what the other guy said.

Girl: Buy me a drink

You: Maybe if you're a good kisser.

Then kiss her.

Then probably buy her a drink. Unless shes a shitty kisser! hahaha
__________________
I just want to enjoy amazing girls. Crazy what sort of journey ive embarked on pursuing this quest.
My adventures in Dallas - 2013
 My adventures in Austin - 2012  
Tyler/Julien, Honolulu Bootcamp July 2011
Tyler hotseat2 x5 (2011-2012)
Alex hotseat x2 (2013)
girlslovepenis.tumblr.com 
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#10
yorro

yorro

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/23/2008 | Posts: 575

her: now this is the point in the conversation when you offer to buy me a drink.
me : wow we have a really romantic moment here cause i was about to tell you exact same thing.. can you be my soulmate? (sarcastically)

her: if you won't buy me a drink, that means that you don't like me, that you wouldn't spend money on me".
me: wow really? buying someones attention is your definition of how two people connect and like each other? it hasa bad rep where i'm from.. i'm losing my boner with every second now.. " (more honestly)

i pull it off because instead of giving girls straight up real short answers i vomit verbal acrobatics that spike her emotions and distract her from her whims. usually they bite and start talking about new shit i said in my response.

in short, the last thing i want is to logically dwell and discuss any shit a girl comes up with. tim explained the jist of it in his rosetta stone when he talked about unpreditability/spiking emotions stuff.
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