THE FORUMS
Making the comeback [facing the truth after falling off the wagon]
I can identify with this feeling. I started sucking with women because I never had to rely on game-- women responded to my creepy bullshit because I was attractive. After a long relatoinship culminated in a massive blowout, I stopped hitting the gym and had to rely on my non-existent "game".
I rediscovered things I loved before having a girlfriend, like climbing, running, and table tennis. Tim Ferris has a great video on the pitfalls of the deferred life plan-- where our school/carreer becomes our identity and when that crashes down we lose our bearings on who we are. After rediscovering aspects of myself that I had given up after having and consequently losing a girlfriend, my game slowly came back. Realize you are becoming a chode, laugh at yourself, make changes to slowly work away from your chode-identity.
I rediscovered things I loved before having a girlfriend, like climbing, running, and table tennis. Tim Ferris has a great video on the pitfalls of the deferred life plan-- where our school/carreer becomes our identity and when that crashes down we lose our bearings on who we are. After rediscovering aspects of myself that I had given up after having and consequently losing a girlfriend, my game slowly came back. Realize you are becoming a chode, laugh at yourself, make changes to slowly work away from your chode-identity.
__________________
Realize you were becoming a chode. Laugh at yourself. Now make changes to slowly work away from your chode-identity. You can do this.
...laugh at yourself...
That stood out, totaly forgot to do that. Things are never as heavy as percived. Thanks for the input, another pointer in the right direction. __________________
First step is realising you fell off. Then you can begin to turn it around.
It's all up from here now motherfucker for you! just keep hitting it take massive action.
(Coming from a guy who fell off for a few months only be it but just recently starting to turn it around) Good luck op.
Someone post tyler video too I can't find it either.
It's all up from here now motherfucker for you! just keep hitting it take massive action.
(Coming from a guy who fell off for a few months only be it but just recently starting to turn it around) Good luck op.
Someone post tyler video too I can't find it either.
__________________
Remember kids: raw heroes, do not become war heroes.
Remember kids: raw heroes, do not become war heroes.
...laugh at yourself...
That stood out, totaly forgot to do that. Things are never as heavy as percived. Thanks for the input, another pointer in the right direction.It was hillarious. Hopefully the man in the story sees it that way now, and im sure he has grown immensely as a result of putting himself out there, even if he felt like he was in a chode-flowstate at the time. You seem very cerebral, inteligent, and open to different opinions so I don't see it taking long for you to regain your level of competence with women.
__________________
Realize you were becoming a chode. Laugh at yourself. Now make changes to slowly work away from your chode-identity. You can do this.
Someone post tyler video too I can't find it either.
http://www.rsdnation.com/tyler/blog/tyler-video-paradise-reveals-truth-what-women-think-about-247?#comment-628902the video in this link?
__________________
Realize you were becoming a chode. Laugh at yourself. Now make changes to slowly work away from your chode-identity. You can do this.
Zebra
Senior Member
Join Date: 06/01/2007 | Posts: 269
For a while now I have been going through a period where I feel like I lost my inner bearings. The values and identity that I spent about 5 years building are being massively tested.
At my peak I was winning on every front of my life, women, school, lifestyle. About a year ago things started to slowly deteriorate and for whatever reason I didn’t take action to stop it. I just looked at the downward spiral and thought "I can turn this around any time I want too. I still got the sword it just a bit rusty". Around the turn of the New Year a lot of things just came together and I had a bit of a break down. The straw that broke the camels back. I wont go into details in this post but I got stuck in a place where I just feel I have very little influence over my life.
After the assessing things and trying to accept them as much as I can, I'm ready to make the climb back. If anyone has experience on this re-journeying back to the top I would be glad to hear about it. I know Tyler had a video about falling of to learn not to fall off, but I cant seem to find it. The thing im scared of the most is never getting back on my shit and ending up a bitter old chode who keeps telling himself "I could have if I wanted to but [insert excuse]".
Some specifics and some soul bareing:
The things i'm dealing with when I’m out is that I still see the "matrix" but I cant help myself from acting like a massive chode. I literally feel my body repulsing me from chicks that I want cause of not wanting the pain of being rejected (further forcing myself to recognize the stark truth). [ The fact that im conscious of it makes it really interesting. I guess when your a newbie and these thought patterns are the only thing you know its really a feat to break free of them.]
I have a massive sense of entitlement... on the inside i still think im a big pimp, but on the outside my game is just a train wreck. This leads me to get super emotional about girls not responding well. I take that shit personally. Massive but-hurt reactions where i just feel super pissy about a set not going well. Some of the shit I do makes me feel really dumb the day after. The worst part, even when its going well with a girl my inner dialogue just gets stuck on repeat "you suck, what can you possibly offer her". On the outside i complete the motions, but on the inside its just hollow.... no confidence, no enjoyment.
So far my only solution is to massively approach and take the big hits, trying my best to keep focusing on just taking action. Other then that I’m not sure what else there is to do. If anyone can relate I appreciate the sharing. If nothing else, this can be a case study for other people to show that back-sliding is a bitch.
-Zebra