THE FORUMS

Went out sunday, wednesday and yesterday (friday). Friday I got off work 22.00 and it was time go out right away. No time to take a shower, chill at all or anything like that. I remeber not being the most relaxed maybe the first 15-30 minutes out but shit like that always passes. I have a few things I nowadays always do to make myself relax in 5 minutes or so. Stuff like breathe through the belly, relax your shoulders, lean back and take much space, center yourself in your body, dont scan the room or look for anyone's reactions. Anyways, me and the buddy start suggesting 30s to each other pretty soon which is good. There isnt much to approach at the start to be honest. He takes a few 30s and totally forgets to give me any. I remember my first "open" was some chick walking down the stairs, I shout some word at her face as im walking past, nothing haha. The buddy still hasnt given any 30s to me. I go sit at some table with two chicks after taking a piss. I start talking about stepping on dude's toes at the urinal and stay maybe 10 min. Im feeling good at this point but this place doesnt have that many girlies. I notice myself walking past chicks I could've approached quite a few times. There was this one weird set where the buddy opened a moving girl, dragged her to me and just stood there quiet for 15 mins. I noticed myself wanting to get physical with her but I cared too much and she was acting in the way like she genuinely did have a boyfriend. We left at 2.30 because I dont know why. I probably had given up on approaching haha and wanted to go get food and the buddy had gotten inside his head and was scanning for girls in not the best way. More shit today. Will also do more.

(Wrote this earlier today, got off work just now. This DMAA stuff is amazing)

I have insomnia, amnesia, one of those. It's monday morning, about 4:00 and Im about to go to work at 6. I'm also getting sick thanks to fucked up sleeping schedules and staying up. One night can really fuck you up if you do it wrong. I got some DMAA from a mate so it should be no problem going to work. It's supposed to be like legal speed or something. My body is not taking this lack of sleep well, my skin is peeling off and I can feel the cortisol stress hormones. Atleast Im making money and going in the direction I want.

Saturday was weird. I was clearly getting sick. All the symptoms of a flu coming. Weird shaking, sweating and feeling cold with warm clothes. I said fuck it, took about five kilos of vitamin c and went out. I have not felt this shit in a long time. We go to a chode club. A couple drinks, I feel better. Im actually feeling awesome in no time and it has nothing to do with drinks. We're about the only people having fun. Chodes are just staring at our table dumbfounded. I want to approach some girls that have come near us probably drawn in by the fun. The chode specator vibe in the club is discouraging me to approach. I throw some knuckles to some girl for random bullshit random comment I overhear. We get a party going. A sure way to get a party going is to play Blow the Whistle by Too Short. I get some snus. Snus is awesome, take snus. I go to take a piss. There's two girls in the bathroom. I tell them to fuck off haha. Assist them with the urinal. Leave. I dont hang out at urinals. I feel the flu kicking in. Not sure what to do now. Ask for a bodybuilder's advice. I leave and feel horrible on the way home. Next day I feel fine. We'll see how this develops, right now my nose is running a lot.

I just realised summer is 3 months away. Awesome. Summer is so awesome here compared to other times of the year. People spend 9 months waiting for 3 months of summer. Before summer I should have moved to a new place, went to Amsterdam and be in a killer shape.

Stockholm, I want to move here. Damn I love travel. Finding out all kinds of cool shit about myself. Im becoming more and more anti-booze. I will never drink absinthe again. I just puked. I havent puked from drinking in 2 years. 1 minute after puking, I feel alright. One thing I realised about myself is how far Ive come. Im proud of the trust and certainty Ive developed in my self. I also realised my balls are full and need emptying. /end of hangover post in stockholm.

I'm in a flu and cant sleep so I'll write some horseshit nonsense bullshit. This will probably be some keyboard jockey type weird shit. I got off work today at 22 and had promised to myself I'd go out no matter what. I was feeling like death with the flu. I was atleast going to go the city, get some medicine and talk to some people. I did that. Talked with the pharmacy lady for about 5-10 minutes. I had been talking with mates on the phone all day and had made some plans to meet up and go out. I was waiting and went to get a kebab. As I was eating, some lady with her husband and kids walks in. I didnt really pay attention. She goes to stand in front of me to look at the menu, spins around and does some other weird shit women do when they try to get my attention. I notice but dont pay any attention. Then they go sit down and the husband starts arguing with her and goes to sit on the other side of restaurant hah. End of story. I've noticed I tend to make some dudes nervous just by being in the same room. I dont know what that is and it makes socializing with them pretty hard so I dont even try. When I talk to mixed groups I often get this weird protective vibe from the dudes when Im not even trying to game anyone. Anyway, the mates decide to take forever because they want to drink booze. Yeah fuck off. I call up Cool and we talk some shit. We talk about Brad Branson's idea of on working on all areas of your life and having them in order. Right now Im working a lot because I've never really had a handle on that. I'm 21 and in my adult life I've never really had any money. That really limits everything, especially going out with consistency. At the moment, Im making money and on the side I've been doing pretty well in the gym. 100 kg bench, ripped abs and the punch of a George Foreman are all about 4-8 weeks away. Hah the last one maybe not :)

If any dudes from helsinki are reading this nonsense, PM me :)

Drunk girls cant resist coming up to me. Had a fun night saturday, though I could've pushed myself a lot more. I wont write some long text about some meaningless interactions because that's just weird. Now that I think about it, I should've approached twice as much as I did. I have some excuses going on, I need to get rid of them. I got approached twice. One approach I did I walked off for no reason at all. I have a tendency to want to avoid stress and bad emotions because I know they make you slightly more chody. I wont allow those emotions in my body. That's part good but it also makes me very lazy sometimes. Got a couple contacts and met one cute girl I really liked and connected with. Will try to make something happen with her in the future.