THE FORUMS

December 10th, 2016
One Sick PUA Journal
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Sicklyminded

Sicklyminded

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/14/2011 | Posts: 124

Watup.. This is the beginning of my PUA journey, and the records of my encounters and growth. Before all of that, here is a brief history of myself.

History:
      I’m 22 years young, born and bred in the Bronx. I come from a business family of 5. (I'm the oldest) I am currently the supervising captain at a rich yacht club and a graphic design student.

      Through out my childhood, I never had any confidence in myself. I always felt as if I had no friends or things in common with most kids. Through out grade school and high school, I was a violent and misunderstood poser who had little to no competence in himself. I would constantly get into fights or trouble with figures of authority. Everyone around me would constantly tell me I "wasn't good enough" or I'm "wrong" or suggest I "needed psychiatric attention." (Maybe I did... who the fuck knows) The stress and anxiety grew daily.

      In my late teens, I grew tired of all the bullshit I was dealing with from my parents to my peers. I lived under extreme social conditioning and, by this point, started losing my grip. My father would constantly explode over nothing and take it out on me. I would constantly be scolded and disciplined for little things I'd do or say. I was in a really negative headspace from 5 years of constant punishment.

      From the age of 16 'til 21, I was in 4 different relationships, each more devastating than the last. On the day of my 21st birthday my parents took my to Ninja New York (fucking awesome place. you should check it out.) and I really didn't want to go. I wanted to go to a jam session upstate and they wouldn't let me, so I decided to call my girlfriend. With arrogant and belligerent undertones, I cordially invite her to my birthday extravaganza. She was busy with her friends but despite my asshole-ish behavior, comes to my house anyway. When she arrived at my house we argued over nothing then hopped in my parents car to go downtown. I started to lighten up as we got closer, but she was still pissed from my attitude from earlier. The entire time we were eating, she sat threw a $500 dollar meal without saying a word or thanking to my parents. The next day we decided to split.

      I spiraled into a deep depression that lasted 8 months. I failed out of college and got into a series of car accidents. I was constantly drinking and getting into fights that would fuel the hate I had all the way to the point of attempted suicides. I hated EVERYTHING and everyone. I was miserable and nothing made me happy.

      I then discovered RSD through a friend who saw what little potential I had and what a genuine person I was. By October 15th of 2010, I was finally getting back to my normal self when tragedy struck. I went to a local bar after my midnight shift at the yacht club to celebrate when it happened. I was on the dance floor after a half hour, choding about, trying to sharpen my "approach" when a fight broke loose. I felt threatened and decided to do what I did best... fight back. I was sent to the hospital with a fractured cranium, shattered orbital, a cracked temple, cuts and bruises, and a long route to recovery.

      A week later, I went in for facial reconstructive surgery, and back home a week later. I lied in bed with excruciating pain for the next 2 months and my eye stitched and swollen shut. One night when I was fucked up on perc.s for the pain, I broke down. I didn't want to be me anymore and I made the decision to change for the better; but more importantly, for myself.

      Which brings us to the present. I've been studying RSD for about a year and feel that it's time to take action and get this shit handled.
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#1
Sicklyminded

Sicklyminded

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/14/2011 | Posts: 124

My Objective:
      I'm going to attempt to go out 5 nights a week and run sets. I want to work my way up to pulling girls 1 or 2 a week. Here I will keep record to track my progress for the year. It will help give me perspective on where I am and where I need to go. I don't know where exactly to begin but I know the first step is being at the right places.

#1. 1/20/12
     Started out feeling pretty shitty. I was supposed to do some chores and errands, but I blew them off for no real reason. My friends were having a rap battle at a bar called The Club House at 9pm. I arrived at the place around 10pm missing most of the show. The guy to girl ratio must have been 12:1 with only 5 girls in the bar. I say hello to my boys, chitchat for a few minutes when I hear over the P.A. from the hot M.C. chick, "Next person to free style gets my number."

     I don't free style, or rap, or ever go to any shows likes this... but fuck it...

     I grabbed the mic out of her hands and they drop the beat. I start flowing and making fun of my boy for the next 2 mins. My rap is terrible, but people are laughing and being entertained. I finish up, pass the mic, and IMMEDIATELY start talking to that hot M.C. chick. We chat for a few minutes until she returns to M.C. It fizzles out to nothing... for now ;). I go back and have a beer with one of my boys.

      10:36pm: I go outside for some air and see two hotties, one blonde, and the other brunette. They're both surrounded by 4 guys, one of them being my friend. I bum cigarette from him and ask the blonde for a light. I join in on their conversation about the show and other stupid shit. The blonde is boring so I start talking to the brunette. She starts dis rapping me HARD body lol. The girl could rap! I took it as the first shit test so I go along with it laughing while attempting to rap back. It's weak but she likes it and starts getting attraction.

      11:04pm: I leave that group to take a piss then I hit up the hot M.C. chick again since she was at the bar when I came out of the bathroom. I had over heard that she organized the event so I asked her "You put this all together?" She starts talking to me about the artist, the show, etc. "Oh that's cool. My names Steve" She replies, "I know." (Apparently my boys were chanting my name when I was rapping lol) I said, "What's yours?" She gives me her name and her number on an index card. Cool. I tell her I'll hit her up some time.

      11:27pm: I go outside getting ready to call it an early night when I see the blonde and brunette again. (Remember there are only 5 girls at this place so bare with me) I cut my way back into the groups conversation and pull the brunette out of the group. I tell her "Listen, your really fucking cute. Give me your number." Eyes are locked I said some metaphor that rhymed. She said, "A rhyme deserves a number. Get your phone out!" I left it at home... FML. I put my number in her phone and have her text me my name. Then she get's dragged away by friends, but for some reason blonde girl is alone. I give her my number and make her text me her name too. I suggested we all chill some time.

      11:43pm: I said by to everyone I knew and peaced to smoke a blunt.

Notes:
Eh I’ve had better nights but I’ve been out of the game for 7 or 8 months. I’ll settle for a few numbers from a local bar. I could’ve been more aggressive. I also didn’t escalate at all. Not really sure if I learned anything but I had fun seeing my friends and rapping lolol.
Let me know what you think guys.
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#2
Sicklyminded

Sicklyminded

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/14/2011 | Posts: 124

So I haven't written here in awhile. I've been focusing on getting my financial situation in order.

Don't get it twisted... I've been gaming and HARD too ;) It's just hard to game or do anything when you live at home with your parents.

When I have moment I'll update this page with all of the small crazy adventures I've been having.
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#3
Sicklyminded

Sicklyminded

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/14/2011 | Posts: 124

It's the month of finals at my school. I decided to spend some time to getting all of my final art projects accomplished so I could have time to exercise, diet, meditate, and study.

I had been there for about an hour working on a photoshop assignment when shorty enters the picture. Cute little italian girl, one I couldn't resist. She walks into a small printing station within the studio. I decided to try the new approach I've been taking called "Relevance" (simple, i know lol.)

I standup walk towards the room and jump through the door way. I shout "WHAT IS THIS PLACE?!" She looks slightly startled and confused "What?" I shout in a slightly softer but commanding tone "WHAT IS THIS PLACE!" She still looks confused "I'm sorry are you talking to me?" I say mad chill and smoothly "Yeah, what is this place?" She giggles and says the printing room. We go on to talk about our final projects and the current project she was working on. The started talking about photography and a bunch of other stuff. Then I go back to my desk and continue working on my project.

She comes out of the room about 10-20mins later kinda just wandering around. As I'm having a conversation with another female friend, she steals her attention from me in order to grab mine; but I just ignore her and continue working happily on my project.

Another 20mins rolls by and she sits on the chair next to me and starts talking to me about other things relevant to my project. Mid-sentence, I interrupt her and say you are a really cool and creative person. We should totally chill sometime. Exchange numbers and Hang out for another hour before I break the interaction and go home.

The next week I steel her from school and bring her home. We grab some food then toss a movie on and start making out and grinding on each other. She the prude type so I just play into taking it slow and all that stuff.

The week after she drives down to see me and we watch a movie and talk and laugh about random things for the first movie. She picks the second movie and I take charge. I start tearing her clothes off and had her naked before I was shirtless. She takes my clothes off and start exchanging oral. She didn't want to take the initiative to fuck me so I gave her a push and said "What are we doing because I'm about to fuck the shit out of you in a minute." She said "Do you have a condom?"

The rest is history.

Lessons Learned:
Take action no matter where you are and have fun with it.. that's all I was doing in this quite studio scenario.. especially when you see something you like (there is no greater reason than that, right?)

Calibration and subtleties are key the quite scenarios but don't be afraid to be outlandish if necessary. These qualities are all tools for the trait.

Stay in your own reality and feel "freedom from outcome." Just think within the moment; never the past or the end results.

Read and learn,
-Sickly-
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#4
Sicklyminded

Sicklyminded

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/14/2011 | Posts: 124

Went out to Cafe Wah with my boys. Had a blast.

Was there for 10mins and got a quick makeout from a milf.

Chatted up with some london girls. We ended up closing the bar and getting home by 5am.

Lesson Learned:
Focus your mental energy on the good times and positivity of the lame nights. Ignore the negative irrelevant bullshit.
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#5
Sicklyminded

Sicklyminded

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/14/2011 | Posts: 124

Havn't been going out much these days. I've shifted my focu from school to work. I'm trying to make the money to get my own place. I'll be back writing soon.
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I'm in NYC 24/7. PM me if you want to get wit the Niight life. I want to define myself. It starts now. My Feild Reports.
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