THE FORUMS

December 5th, 2016
I'm kind of a pussy when it comes to pulling, I need to just "go for it"?
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dave7

dave7

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/27/2010 | Posts: 1909

 I need to work on changing my attitude into accepting this part of the game, which is basically the final part of pulling the girls back to my apartment for sex. I always feel slightly hesitant about this just because I spent years and years NOT doing this. I usually feel like it is a big step to get the girl to come home, whereas makeouts and shit at the bar are pretty basic. I wish I could just see it as more normal so I would go for it more. Instead I kinda just pay lip service to the pull and I almost expect the girl to say no. I'm not actually planning on taking the girl home; I feel that that will only happen if I get lucky. Of course I will get this down as I get more experience but this is what I'm going through right now. Let me know if you can relate, so maybe I can get over this more effectively. 

There are also limiting beliefs involved here such as "I'm not that good at sex" or "I don't want her to actually sleep at my apartment" or "this will take too much effort". 
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#1

roadrally

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Join Date: 10/12/2009 | Posts: 2026

 dude, your mindfucking yourself.
Pulling is just to go hangout at your place.
Not for sex. well kinda, but you know that just because you pull a girl doesnt mean sex is happening. 
You can even say lets go hang out at my place, but no sex.  Then youre talking girl language. 
We men are logical. No means no. Women are not the same. No just means not right at this moment.
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#2
dave7

dave7

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Join Date: 09/27/2010 | Posts: 1909

roadrally wrote:
 dude, your mindfucking yourself.
Pulling is just to go hangout at your place.
Not for sex. well kinda, but you know that just because you pull a girl doesnt mean sex is happening. 
You can even say lets go hang out at my place, but no sex.  Then youre talking girl language. 
We men are logical. No means no. Women are not the same. No just means not right at this moment.
Yes I understand. Maybe I'm mindfucking myself but I need to be honest about my current situation. Thanks yo. 
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#3
dave7

dave7

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Join Date: 09/27/2010 | Posts: 1909

Serpicoo wrote:
The difference between you and someone who has more experience is just different beliefs. My biggest improvement was in changing my beliefs. I realised I can either change my beliefs now or wait for reference points. We don't need to rely on reference points to change our beliefs. We can just change them. So I changed my beliefs to the following and now my reality reflects it:

You deserve to pull girls home.
Girls love sex even more than guys
There is no competition
Girls will go out consciously or unconsciously to get laid
Girls will help you to get laid, they will handle logistics as well

I would look at other people with beliefs that I wanted and would change my own beliefs.


Sweet man this really applies to me I think, I should work on changing my beliefs. 
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#4

laguy474

Senior Member

Join Date: 10/28/2011 | Posts: 153

 Good thread. I'm in the same boat. The pull is the final hurdle but it's the biggest if you have no reference points like Serpico said. Also I feel like pulling on day 2s is a lot easier becuase you have "permission" since the girl has already agreed to meet with you, as oppose to meeting some random girl at a bar who had no plans to go home with you that night.
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#5
dave7

dave7

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Join Date: 09/27/2010 | Posts: 1909

Serpicoo wrote:
It's interesting because the reason why makeouts and stuff is easy for you now is because you have used reference points to change your beliefs. By being aware of the process you can shortcut it. You can imagine what it would be like to pull girls home and just enjoy that feeling. By regularly feeling it, you change yourself and massively shorten the time it takes to get the reference points and change the belief. Because now you are approaching girls with the feeling ingrained in you of  "I pull girls home regularly, it's no big deal".
NIce. This sounds easier said than done but I will definitely try it. And besides I have pulled some girls back to my place in the past weeks and months, one I had sex with, so I think I can work with those reference experiences too. 
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#6
dave7

dave7

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Join Date: 09/27/2010 | Posts: 1909

laguy474 wrote:
 Good thread. I'm in the same boat. The pull is the final hurdle but it's the biggest if you have no reference points like Serpico said. Also I feel like pulling on day 2s is a lot easier becuase you have "permission" since the girl has already agreed to meet with you, as oppose to meeting some random girl at a bar who had no plans to go home with you that night.
Lol. For me when i have a day 2 and I try to pull back to my apartment I get anxiety about doing that. I feel better about trying for girl i just met prob. b/c social conditioning kicks in harder when I'm on day 2; I might feel like I need to be "nice" to the girl and not try to fuck her since I'm on a date with her. 
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#7

laguy474

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Join Date: 10/28/2011 | Posts: 153

dave7 wrote:

laguy474 wrote:
 Good thread. I'm in the same boat. The pull is the final hurdle but it's the biggest if you have no reference points like Serpico said. Also I feel like pulling on day 2s is a lot easier becuase you have "permission" since the girl has already agreed to meet with you, as oppose to meeting some random girl at a bar who had no plans to go home with you that night.
Lol. For me when i have a day 2 and I try to pull back to my apartment I get anxiety about doing that. I feel better about trying for girl i just met prob. b/c social conditioning kicks in harder when I'm on day 2; I might feel like I need to be "nice" to the girl and not try to fuck her since I'm on a date with her. 
Meh. I've been iced out by enough girls who I didn't really try to pull on a day 2 that I will forever go into them now thinking "pull or bust." It helps to have the attitude "One way or another, I will probably never see this girl again in my life." No reason not to go hard when you think that way.
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#8
dave7

dave7

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Join Date: 09/27/2010 | Posts: 1909

laguy474 wrote:

dave7 wrote:

laguy474 wrote:
 Good thread. I'm in the same boat. The pull is the final hurdle but it's the biggest if you have no reference points like Serpico said. Also I feel like pulling on day 2s is a lot easier becuase you have "permission" since the girl has already agreed to meet with you, as oppose to meeting some random girl at a bar who had no plans to go home with you that night.
Lol. For me when i have a day 2 and I try to pull back to my apartment I get anxiety about doing that. I feel better about trying for girl i just met prob. b/c social conditioning kicks in harder when I'm on day 2; I might feel like I need to be "nice" to the girl and not try to fuck her since I'm on a date with her. 
Meh. I've been iced out by enough girls who I didn't really try to pull on a day 2 that I will forever go into them now thinking "pull or bust." It helps to have the attitude "One way or another, I will probably never see this girl again in my life." No reason not to go hard when you think that way.
That's a very good point.
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#9

pringles

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Join Date: 04/28/2009 | Posts: 998

 You are getting anxiety about taking the girl home because you trying to get something from her.....that being sex.

Next time you are pulling a girl home go for it and be indifferent to wether or not it works out.....one thing i used to do when first pulling was think to myself 'this is probably going to blow up in my face' from there all the pressure dropped and i started having fun with it and actually started pulling and seeing it was no big deal, now a days its just a simple 'lets go back to mine'. 

Attempt and fail until you cross the indifference threshold and see that failing to pull is no big deal, attempt and succeed and see thats no big deal either
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#10
dave7

dave7

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/27/2010 | Posts: 1909

pringles wrote:
 You are getting anxiety about taking the girl home because you trying to get something from her.....that being sex.

Next time you are pulling a girl home go for it and be indifferent to wether or not it works out.....one thing i used to do when first pulling was think to myself 'this is probably going to blow up in my face' from there all the pressure dropped and i started having fun with it and actually started pulling and seeing it was no big deal, now a days its just a simple 'lets go back to mine'. 

Attempt and fail until you cross the indifference threshold and see that failing to pull is no big deal, attempt and succeed and see thats no big deal either
Wow, very awesome.
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