THE FORUMS

 Holy fuck, eye opening.
Went with Edin to the Irish pub. I am still very inhibited even after 4 hours. But I gave much fewer shits most of the time and my breathing was ok (didn't get dizzy) and my voice was kinda ok as well, better than before.
I had a lot of sets that opened and didn't go anywhere. Learned how to bounce back when the girl tensed up a little. That was cool.

Then there was one girl that I stopped walking up and..... that was the coolest thing. I didn't open strong (like not abrubt) but did keep my eyes and state steady and especially i focused on my smile and her facial expression, to see how hers develops. SHE IS IN, this is the first time I consciously notice a girl doing this. She started touching me, walking up to my face, asking me questions one after the other with impatience and shining eyes. She got taken out after about a minute of awesomeness by cockblock friends. And still I was just like... holy fuck this was COOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLL (tyler chode voice).

Did get a kiss close and some groping with a girl that had been warmed up all night by some other dude and Edin, she was ugly but I would've taken her home anyways. Didn't work out though because I couldn't seperate her from her friend who was gonna sleep at her place. I had already taken her outside, couldve as well gone and walked 5 minutes and have her suck on long lollipops...... Flypp, the next adventures are in sight.

Tuesday: I GOTZ INTO DA STATEEEEE

I did wake up all positive and good this morning. BECAUSE I took action last night and had some new reference experiences. However, as I often do I wasted too much time surfing the intercrack and that messed with my self-esteem big time. I am focussing on "observing" (tolle) my emotions and that led me to think about Julien's video about the "out of comfort zone feeling, taking action anyways" thing. So I told myself "I LIKE this feeling" it's good. I thought how it would be weird to be able to befriend this feeling immediately, because it will take a while to rewire myself into becoming more darin. It did get better immediately tho, say from 60% nervousnous (100% is you feel like you will almost die and you start to puke) down to 35% just by realizing that it is good for me. However, by the time I started leaving for the club I was both nervous (that out of comfort zone feeling) as well as feeling like a shitty person because I did NOTHING GOOD all day. Thus I didn't talk to anyone in the line, didn't smile when I had to give my coat to the wardrobe. Plain old FlyppShit. So I got in there, too pussy to talk to ANY girl. NO, NOT TO ANY PERSON. rationalizing: Yeah, of course you don't talk to these people, that's weird as fuck, especially because it's right by the door. That is "SO OBVIOUS" (ahmmm yeah FlyppShit wtf does"obvious" even mean.... i was totally convinced tho) doing "that" right right by the door... "I am the number one creeper if I talk to anyone here". (Yeah I know right..... But my mind made it look seriously plausible to try to not LOOK at any girl, holy cow). I walked around a little... and I believe if I'd had pampers I would've shit in them. Next thinf, I was feeling awkward for being in the club alone. So I look around. Then, feeling awkward for looking at things and not dancing. I start dancing a little, jerky, pussy because I am tense as fuck, and now I feel awkward for dancing. I think about it and now I feel awkward for existing. srs.

Ahmm I think the next thing that happened is that I thought about Julien again, nothing is going to kill me here probably. So I think by myself, it's ok if I don't approach NOBODY, but just get comfortable with the club and start breathing, which I hadn're really done as I was down as hell. I look at people and imagine that most are good, and that the energy that I perceive so hostile is actually much better, I just can't feel it if I'm not receptive. I start to dance more losely. I tap tap on some fatty shoulder, it opens. She doesn't smile, doesn't really want to talk much. But I don't care. I already broke my negative spiral, and I notice it. I am starting to feel a little better and I dance even more losely. Much better every second now. I am starting to get happy as I notice what is going on, I like it and want more and I push it more. Girls walk by: Tap tap, bla bla something about them being too short, glad they are dancing right in front of me. They litterlally start grinding me and then sandwiching me as I move between them. One of the shorts has a real nice booty and she is pushing it hard up my dick. I am too out of state to feel any arousal at this point but tell her one minute and it'll get hard. Which get's me even more out there. The girls says she's sorry, she has to leave. She looked so happy and with this playful bitchiness when she was dancing around me, I felt sorry she had to leave me. That pumped my state mad balls to i'd say what SHOULD be neutral default. and I was starting to forget about the shitty day. I met up with Edin and my state stayed at around neutral, went a bit shitty cuz if felt stupid that I had noone to talk to and went back upstairs. I slipped fell. All because I had no energy from being out of state.


Now, I did start talking to more girls, got a number close with a nerdy girl somewhere. And I gave myself mad props for it and DAMN now we're talking. I started to pull girls towards me and talked to ugly and hot chicks all the same. Anxiety to approach went down to a perfect level, where it tingles but the tingling is fun. SWEEEET

Then the night was epic because I realized, this was the first time I had gotten into somewhat of a state. I went home to preserve it or some shit, I feel great. I will now insert it into my ego and then tomorrow I feel like shit because it doesn't work again, my expectations are fucking with me......... bah just kidding, hopefully not


We will see. I am a happy mother fucker now, that's all.

Cheers, Flypp

Thanks Me-vs-Me, the anxiety is a big thing for me. Lerning to become more familiar with it is huge.

Some stuff that happened when I was feeling pretty relaxed and pretty in state that night: Looked at a hottie who was with a guy. She is pretty drunk but still hot. She walks over to me (away from the guy) and starts making comments at me. I am leaning against a wide pillar at this point, it is a glorious pillar pretty close to the exit, I love that spot. I keep totally laid back, because at this point I am really enjoying being calm and feeling great. She keeps looking past the guy towards me. Guy walks off or something anyways I see her again to my left a half minute later and grab her arm to pull her in, she's surprised and pulls away and slowly starts walking again. Nevertheless, I'm like yeaaahhhhhhh.... nice spot here, can't complainnnnn

leaning onto a table, talking to some fatty nerd, half an hour later, I see the same girl and guy again. I see her, she sees me and before you know it, she walks towards me again. I stand up from leaning against the table and right away our faces are centimeters apart. She asks me if I know her boyfriend, and some shit that is even more random then mine. We flirt a couple seconds, while the boyfriend is getting nervous. He starts talking to me, I ignore and look at her, say some shit. Her RAS is totally on me, WTF. So is his. So I say two words to him and go straight back to her. He is nervous but not agressive at all, I can feel how he is starting to get a little frustrated with the situation though, I think the girl is to hot for him even though he seemed very high value, and the girl is testing him.
I let go because my mind is already blown at this point. The cool thing is that I had minimal input, I didn't do hardly anything except amuze myselft through the situation. Said something about putting stuff up her ass (while the guy was standing right there too). It was fun.

Another thing, I did approach especially the hot girls that I saw. I just enjoyed not getting into "thinking" before I walked up and say something random. One really hot girl that I had seen make out with a guy before walked by, I stopped her, but it was weak, and she kept walking. Edin was right there, to tell me: STRONGERRRR. I was like gaahhh, she's got to be top 3 girls in the club. "Anyways I'm gonna leave, maybe try a mouth rape". Edin: do it. Me: "what, who?" Edin: "her, go run!". I go after her for 15 meters, turn her around and grab her neck, pull her right towards me. And say something like: STOP. look at me. She has NO SHIELD, no weird facial expression, just utters that she's got a boyfriend and she turns her head to the side a bit. I let it go and she just walks off calmly. That shit was cool but I know I could've gone in stronger both times, and It would've been cooler and possible hook her RAS and then boyfriends don't matter.

One lady I walked by and I said (all smiling of course, like all night. most of the time i couldn't even have gotten the smile off my face even if I had wanted to) "You're too old". She's "what, did you just say I'm too old"  Me: "No, I didn't..." and she, "yes, you did I heard you say you're too old" (smiling, not sure herself if flirty or accusing me). So it went back and forth a bit and I threw some random shit in there, I do not remember at all, but random in the sense of "I said, ghandi had a toy store" and bla bla

Apart from that I did x tons of approaches, dancing around the venue like gene kelly..... almost...... And drinking water from the tap. Guys in holland, don't try, only I can pull it off drinking only tap water all night! And maybe a coke here or there.

Another thing I did, and this was among the coolest: just vibing with my wings, for the time we were together. That made the night even more fun. Dang I wanna go out. I want to just skip the introductory bullshit of feeling shit. Meh, the pain is worth it.

 I feel pretty nice right now. Why?
Went to Leiden with a couple newbies. We choded around a little, but did also take action, especially Chris. I was a little lazy, but we did open some girls in the bar, when it was all slow, no mixed sets though. Leiden is amazing, girls kept smiling and playing along, even when the interaction is super whack, sweeeet.

I will keep it short now, cuz i'll get up in 3 hrs to play soccer!!!! yeahhhh ( and am not glorious on sleep already....)

We went to a different bar. I started feeling better, especially upon fucking around with Chris... chasing through the bar, dancing to no music and talking loud. I started approaching.

Went downstairs, and first approach goes well. Girlfriends were so cool today, when I wanted to borrow their friend their were cool with it. Girl goes well, she laughs a lot, I am still in my head tho and vibe doesn't flow enough when friend comes back so friend convinces her to dance. I'm happy with my first approach on the dancefloor and keep going. Vibe around a little until a older girl walks by. 

I have no clue what I open with but I def. grab her quickly. I hooks hard. Hold hands. She is a pretty italian looking 32 year old. Sweet. We vibe, really cool it was so much fun. We were singing AZZURRO, dancing, laughing, role playing 14 year old kids. Despite her  friends checking up on her and her complaining.... BUT she had FlyppRAS an bam makeout. She asks me for number and and where I live bla bla. sweet. 

Hooking a cougar was so far out of my reality until just 5 hours ago. This shit is awesome. 
At 3 we leave, Chris is anxious, I can't get him out of it, he's just not feeling it and choding out. Around three it was getting fun in there and the alcohol was starting to work on some girl. I'd go back to leiden, esp. Next, nice place to run some laid back game.. OR take over the whole venue easily.