THE FORUMS

July 24th, 2017
Flypp: FlyppFlow
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#21
Me-vs-Me

Me-vs-Me

Trusted Member

Join Date: 05/18/2010 | Posts: 1321

newstuff18 wrote:
Hell ya man.

That's funny about the smooth FRs, it literally intimidated me when I was reading over some of them. I was like, ok this “noob guy” is doing a journal …. then he proceeds to kill it every night (at least relatively). There were hardly any posts on “ok, went to a bar, didn’t do shit, left”. Yea that would be a shitty post, but at least it would show guys some of the  some of the realities of this.

Go for it hard man, Yea!

DUDE, you have then NOT read my journal :D:D
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#22
Flypp

Flypp

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/14/2012 | Posts: 249

 LR THURSDAY: CHINESE LAY



Concerns a chinese girl who I had made out at two different night, in two different clubs earlier. (Not talking much, mostly gibberish and back and fourth fluff. but being dominant in my lame dancing and picking her up for a couple feet to put her on a wall and make out). For the day two I told her to come to play pool in Concordia. I told her to try and bring her friend, but she said, prolly not gna work, and if it's ok if she comes alone. SURE IS :D. And if we go out, she wasnt sure if she could go back so..... ME: yeah, girl don't worry, you can crash on my couch or something, we'll figure it out.

So she comes with the metro station were I'd pick her up. She has to wait a bit. When I get there she is shy and also disappointed at the same time (i am geussing that she has to wait) anyways she pulls away from me, I can't even touch her. She walks off. So I just stand there and smile, say: OK, so where are we going? She turns around ADD and then... calms down a bit. So I tell her this way, and just walk off. She walks behind me, we talk a little. We don't even touch, still but my mood gets a little brighter in my communication as we move on on our 10 min walk to my place. All my talk is just non intent, whatever comes up in my mind, and that is often times pretty boring (only thing there left then is my tonality, which was OK).

At home i just take off my jacket and grab my guitar and play some, all for myself, paying limited attention to her. She get's comfortable and also takes coat off (the idea was to just drop her bag and go to the bar..... NOPE :)). She starts talking about her musical talents and bla bla. (I have started playing one month ago, I literally know 10 chords and all I can play is wonderwall lol) But that doesn't matter SHIT. I'm not trying to show off here. From here on, I started getting comfortable and was not in my head, and also thats why I forgot what happened.....

We took a drink, I was genuinely trying to find out how much vodka to put in her drink, as she's chinese and after talking a bit about it I had sort of figured it out half a shot, whatever. Sober game ftw.
Played some more and have no clue what happened, but pretty sure rapport and giggles were certain at some point, which I used to tell her: "look at me", grab head, make-out. S.th. like that.

From here on I have few limiting beliefs, and from make-out to lay has (in my little experience) always been a pretty automatic process. I just give it more time than others i think. At one point I did go very fast tho (as I do more so recently) when I was grabbing her crotch and rubbing pretty well. She wanted to leave. EDIT: I remember now. THis was not at all because of escalation. We fooled around pillow fights, and I hit her with a squish pillow. Also hit on top of her head and whatnot, I went a little overboard I'd admit, she had no chance lol. She got intimidated and didn't want to be with a guy who hits ladies. At the same time it served her as a major test. I was like *whatever, I'm cool*. First I laughed, but she "meant" it, she wanted to leave. I looked at her and asked her in relaxed way, you sure? in a couple of ways. She said yeah every time, but was kinda shy, or intimmidated at that point. So I said, OK, it's too bad, but you can tell me any time and I'll walk you to the metro. Let's pick up your stuff. I got up and grabbed somtheing, and I was like, meh, this is retarded, if her mood changed that quickly (LMR, freak-out, intimidated) I should be able to get her comfortable again. I think also, she was afraid to lose me at that point, when I turned away and calmy helped her grab her stuff.

I told her come here, and sat down one more time. She kinda kneeled in front of me while I was leaning back on the couch, just being relaxed. and immediately there was fire in her eyes and she was leaing into me. She said "I was just kidding". And she started kissing my body. Take off shirt again, that i had have her put back on, bla bla. Road to sex from here on was smooth and fun.

Somewhere in don't recall if it was before her freak-out or after, I said something like hey there are you hididng your titties? let me kiss that. and she said sth to the effect of: "why should i do it?" "why should YOU do it" and i picked something she said about like a slut. I was like *aaaahhhhhhhhhh this is what i am working on here inner SMILE*. "no. No, it's ok"  (plus "let's get to know each other" or sth. or maybe not even (I am master a this comfort talk, probably because I mean it). after moving back again and she came, I moved back in hard it was like a auto-pilot ride. Condom was fun for her to put on. At that point, she wanted it. So much fun.

The rest: woke up at night, railed again rough, she loved it. In the morning again, slow. I Loved it.

I got tons of, you're awesome, your amazing. And "you gave me best night and morning!" "best night I have had" yadda yadda. Kinda paradigm shifting. She probably got much more out of it then me, because she'd never been boned good and last time was her chinese boyfriend. "ouuuwhh sooo biiigg" "hurts so much" dang and she did love it much more even than me. I felt like Jesus. Oh and "you're an asshole. .... I like it." LOLOL
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#23
Flypp

Flypp

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/14/2012 | Posts: 249

 On my home I used the momentum and opened a portuguese chick taking a pic of her and the snow. Welll opened? She was all over me right away. Holy fuck, abundance does crazy shit to you. She was visiting a friend for a week and insisted on me taking her email address. Cool. Wanted another pic of the two of us. Fun girl. Cool...
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#24
Flypp

Flypp

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/14/2012 | Posts: 249

Instead of a field report, this is my ejacualtion of emotions, a couple months after being dumped.

My ex came up in my mind a lot the last couple of days, especially today. This comes in part from reading "way of the superior man" by david deida. The book boldly holds in front of my eyes, how I have not been true to MYSELF and being the man I am. And that this way my ex had no other choice but lose attraction and go looking for a real man elsewhere. This is tough on me or any man. I liked her femine presence around me a lot. So yes, I do miss it. Was she perfect for me? No, of course not. I knew it all the way along but accepted it. (thought hmmm why???). But I never made a point out of the shortcomings, I didn't care, and she rarely complained not either (or i didn't notice, up until the last weeks of the relationship). And I did learn to love her. However, on top of that came a hole of no-love for myself. No self-esteem. Also, as a logical result I started to identify more and more with the relationship and made her the most important thing in my life. Result: Strong neediness and clinging (despite all the conscious and unconscious maniulation that I started to give up towards the end) the last months of the relationship. And it was self-imposed, I thought that's the way to go and on another level I knew it wasn't. I let myself go.

Am I bitter? Consciously, I know that the ending of the relationship is the best thing that could happen to me. That is because I realize that I have been looking for external validation for many years now, and this forced me to start proactivity, and live for my goals (or "being on my purpuse" in Deida terms). 95% good has already come out of this. The five percent missing the great femine energy is inflated in those times like now. The reason it is blown up is, because I understand that my own lack of realness and honesty with myself caused it. And makes me phantasize about getting it on with the girl again. And all the mind games start over. Not sure if I want to prove I am a great man to myself, or to others, to my ex? I think I do. I am not centered yet, far from it.

To clarify, I have been establishing great self-esteem at other times, coming from a near zero point. I have discarded any one-itis for myself on a rational level for the next 3 years or so. What did you guys do about this disparity? In particular, I feel my mind tries to trick me into thinking that to maintain my coolness/identity that I should prove myself to my ex. As I write this, this uber chodey feelig is mostly dissolved, but it will likely come back. Any tips?

Dang I love RSD. Much more excited to go beasting and owning it tonight, now.

/whining off (comments still much appreciated tho, I'll pass it to the whiney flypp when I comes back)
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#25
Flypp

Flypp

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/14/2012 | Posts: 249

I have been slacking last week, didn't go out in the weekend AT ALL. Lost my social momentum completely and missed the goal to go out 4 times a week. Today went great, because even though I had no momentum, I am starting to feel my core throughout the day, which makes me amuse more and give me more crazy ideas. For example, I was super into this subjective reality article by Steve Pavlina while also amused by the uber chode banker in class, I should've taped him. I had this inner smile and warm feeling inside the entire time. Also I have made my own daily creed, modeled after Tim's daily creed, which I read every morning from here on.
Another thing I have started, is a biphasal sleep pattern. This means that I will sleep roughly from 8:30-10:00 and again from 3:30 till 9:30. This is simply to make going out more healthy while making a lot of sense biologically. In fact it is nothing different from a siesta, just the times are shifted and optimized a bit. I will try and shift the siesta around a bit, and see what is the best time to hold it and see what the optimal length of the main sleep is.

 Monday:
I made dinner with a buddy at his place, which was perfect to give me some social momentum and also I talked a bit about my plans of the sleep and going out. It manifested my plans because now they are out and shared. After that I went to sleep as my first planned biphasal sleep. I was scared as hell about going out solo, but was decent at imagining cool things to happen. For instance I pictured myself yelling into the entire bar: THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT, TONIGHT I AM CELEBRATING. I WILL BE DANCING WITH EVERYONE IN THIS BAR, THERE WILL BE NO EXCUSE, LET GOOOOOOOOOOOO. I naturally loved it, and was at the same time freaked out when I pictured myself doing it. Will the people shoot me back with tons of bad vibe? What if I can't handle the good vibe and the girls? What if it's not my reality and I feel awkward as hell, and then everything will go awkward for everyone? Yadda yadda, bullshit like that. Soooooooooooooooo, I decided to go and try it.
As I was still freaked out I kept telling myself, I AM going to go, and started getting ready, putting my cloths on. And at some point I realize, I AM indeed going to go. I decided. That calms me down a ton. From there on it's just little baby step by baby step to get to the party. It's just like the yelling psycho challenge from last week. Once you decided there is no way back, there is no use of fear and excuses.

By Oostplein there were two girls standing by the bike way. I stop my bike and just look at one of them, then the other. They say "hey" I say something like, "hey, I'm checking what this convo is about" And sure enough, they just say it's lame and something about tomorrow bla bla. I start joking around. They think I am american from my accent, I have gotten that many times now, so I'm starting to roll with it. Told them about my quest, they were into it and believed me instantly and gave me some advice on getting the mic and shit. Nice, will try that. Other than that it was pretty standard and thus lame but still good to experience the positivity and you DONT get blown out or looked at weird. You are welcome, because it adds excitement to their lameness. Hmmm interesting. Went for the hottie's number but didn't get it. Pat on shoulder anyhow, she was hot, it made no difference. Should've started dancing right there as I did feel like it and picked her up and then some shit, good goal for the next time.

Walked into Locus publicus, there were about less than 10 people in there, only one girl, who was talking to a guy. Meh, not ready for that shit yet,  and I figured it's likely to get me a bad rep easily. 

Biked straight to Stadhuisplein. Opened girl on the street and started being high energy right away. Girls didn't turn around and run away, YEAHHH. Started my gibbering about my quest to dance with every cool person in any bar in Rotterdam. Pretty lame probably but it amuzed me and was congruent, because that's what I was actually going to do. Went inside with them and a guy. Put my coat down, and started dancing, yelling and fist pumping immediately. Shit was easy. Fist pumped with guys and yelled from the start, no room for shyness and negative thoughts. Amazing.

Then I basically went all party throught the entire club. If I wanted to say anything, it was how they were number 27 or whatever, the number of people I had danced with. With one asian girl from california shit actually stuck, but fucked it up cuz she ran away when I wanted to put her on some podest shit that is there to dance on. I jumped down to go get her (chode) and a huge guy tried to AMOG me while I just kept looking at her calm. she was like "its ok its ok like 5 times" the guy was stupid as hell. but so I got her back. But shit seemed to needy and uncalibrated, I rather wanted to keep going around. Got blown out by some ugly orange fake blonde fatties, it's funny how the girls I least want something with sometimes are the least receptive as well. Now, I just keep talking bla bla until eventually they push me away, or do other weird shit, like wave their pony tail into my face after I keep talking when they turned their back, happened twice lol, funny shit.

I walked up the the prettiest girl in that place I think, who was sitting on a chair, straight eye contact dancing for myself, didn't lose eyes for a second, fun stuff. Turned out she was in charge of the coats. Learned some stuff from it, but it's too detailed to write it out here. Making the people around her vibe (guys) was cool tho. I got the to dance with me, even the guy who was TOTALLY (wanna be) GANGSTER SHIZZLE who was chilling next to her. Awesome stuff.

Got some cool blow outs too, were I was just basically pushed down the steps by bitches. Being completely sober actually saved my ass here, I was like the laser guy in Ocean's Thirteen catching some of the steps on my toes like a fucking dance show, then landing into some guy who helped me get balance. I totally enjoyed it and was good vibez, so he immediately smiled, pat, vibed with it. 

So I just went on dancing, high energy style, even tho I was prolly the weirdo going through that shitty club, I don't care that what this place is made fore. Ok looking girls hooks dancing with me. Lasts for 10 sec, shit breaks down, granade friend whatever, body language, i don't know, don't even care.

I got all the way to 48 people that way in about an hour or so. Definitely scary but also amusing. Didn't get a group to keep vibing with me. That was n part because of the people tho, they were mostly lame and to be honest I was some jacked up uncalibrated party freak. But It came natural to me, so I did it. Got me attention that I learned to deal with was good.

After some bad experience with bouncers recently, I decided to go and talk to the bouncers at the club next to Skihut. Asked them how the night was. If the club had entrance. And told them a bit about me in the Skihut. They were cool. I asked them If it's ok if I come with girls and if they have an influence on the cover charge (I don't see who would pay 10 bucks to get into the club, I thought they just didn't want some creep/drugs dealer like me in there). So they said, if you come with ladies, we can get you in w/o cover. After all they were cool and I decided to talk to bouncers more often.

On my way to my bike I asked some girls if they paid 10, if girls pay the same. They told me in all honesty that they paid 15 fucking Euros, and that I was lucky if they told me 10. LOL, this club is even dodgier than it seemed. I will have to check it out :D

The bouncers advised me to check out San Troupez and Coconut if I wanted to chill down for a drink. San Troupez was closed (monday) and I didn't know where coconut was. So I see this girl go up to her. "where is coconut" bla bla, hooked, she liked it. They were two girls with a black gay guy. Guy talks, ignore, it works, she keeps looking at me, nice. (that's a first here) solid fluff going on I friend the black guy, and short ADD friend comes in, she's all over me immediately. I did think the other girl was nice, shirt girl was ok. (for me pretty much any make out is a gib win). I am the party, everything goes over me, I have to handle the attention and tell the girl I am in a conversation and push them around a bit. Gay dude says loud about the nice girl "you can have her, she's free" she doesn't say anything lol. cool. They want to come with me to coconut, so I go. But I see there's nothing going on inside, maybe 10 people. So I say NOPE WE'RE NOT GOING. They were going to go to skihut, I didn't want to go back where I jsut came from. Would've learned to stay with them but was glad to stay true to myslef, I didn't feel like going back. In retrospect, I should've taken them to the other club with the bouncers and tried to get in without cover, they could've needed a party, we were vibing well. Oh, well, something for the next time :)

Victories
- went OUT fuck yeah
- starting to understand the psychology of deciding, sticking with it and then enjoying rest as baby steps in the moment
- LAST FUCKING SET hooks
- Street game is fun
- Got in a state were I can DO sth and APPROACH within minutes
- Sober rocks, definietly not gonna be sick tomorrow
- Playing with eye contact is a gold mine for me. It's already doing cool stuff.
- Got some stiff guys to dance, who you wouldn't thing they every would, YEAH

Lessons:
- go further in self amusement, dance for yourself, say fun shit for yourself. It's the bit of the vibe that's missing to get the number and making shit stick
- be more assertive of good plans. Party people and tipsy gay guys have NO DIRECTION. LEAD and all will be smooth and happy.
- need to relax more, even when dancing, partying, beasting. My breathing must be more relaxed, in order to get the vocal projection somewhat in order and not get a sore voice immediately. 
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#26
Flypp

Flypp

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/14/2012 | Posts: 249

 Just to clarify, I am NO drug dealer duh. Last time I sure did look like one tho lol.
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#27
Flypp

Flypp

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/14/2012 | Posts: 249

Tuesday: 
Wanted to go out, my girl comes to my place late. Can't take her to the club anymore, because she has no bike, I have no car. So instead we fuck. It's ok for me, learned from it nonetheless. Cheers.
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#28
Flypp

Flypp

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/14/2012 | Posts: 249

 Thursday:

First off: Beurs is bomb on thursdays. It was crowded, but with spot with some room and it's the first time I have seen a decent amount of HOTTIES. I noticed some 10 or 12 girls that I actually truly found attractive. Strangely, I can relate to hot blonde girls much better than any not so hot girls. Somehow, to me they seem happier, more open and more friendly and more attracted to me than 6s or 7,5s of any kind. I haven't opened any hotties lately tho (since the beginning of this blog.

First approach, hey whats up? bla bla lame talk, girl walks away when friend comes, i kinda set the frame for her even to walk away, kinda funny what stupid things you do, all aligned with your reality. (which is shitty and totally self-sabotaging when Flypp is out of state)

Second approach, hooks. Isolate, touch all fine for a beginner, she's into it even tho while I'm at it I am totally in my head and notice how lame shit is. Problem is I get into serious talk to easily, and she asks me all this stuff about me. Which I don't really wanna answer. Any advice on that. Turned out the guy that was with them was truly her boyfriend. He was super relaxed about me hitting on the girl tho and thought it was entertaining. We talked for a while, that was cool. I know that this is one hundred percent from emitting a much more social vibe myself than I have in the past. WIN

I walk past a couple of approachable girls, because I am not sure about ways to approach. And too for the "anything goes" mindset and just try out. It is kind of annoying/weird to make eye contact with a girl hold it and then keep struggling through the people that are between her and me. Any thoughts on this? How to you guys play with the eye contact? When you are still 8-10 feet apart?

I saw a fun 3 set with one short cute Indonesian girl. She smiled, laughed by I didn't make anything out of it. I didn't get in state with her because of my miserable talking game. I know people say it doesn't matter WHAT, but here's the point. That is an analysis people make, analysing their gibberish afterwards. But it does not help anyone to get into the mindset of that type of talk. And I don't understand the mindset yet. I really wish to hear someone explain their thoughts or feeling when stuff comes to say. I started talking about the lights and animals, but I wasn't feeling it and it didn't flow.


I moved on to her friend, a chinese girl. The cool thing in this 3 set was, even though they were standing and dancing very close when I went in, it was totally busted and I was alone with the girls just seconds after. BAM. But yeah talking killed it again. Didn't build up sexual tension, was just casual as hell. At did amuse me though and I felt very comfortable just hanging in there and talking. Eventually, I let her go.

I finished the round through the club and sat dow to relax on a chair by the entrance. I was very much in my head, but not worried. I have never been this calm. Not hyped up and not under pressure. But also more lazy to push myself. So I hung out there. Am I gonna leave? Am I gonna? Yes? yes flypp leave? *look at exit* .... go hoooomeee???? :DDDDD  NO!
KI
LL YOURSELF CHODE. LETS DO ANOTHER ROUND.

So I did. AA pussied past a couple girls, until I picked out one 15 feet away and arrowed toward her. Tried the hand of god again. She was sceptic but eventually grabbed it. Pulled her in, and something freaked her out. BUT I was still in, she didn't blow me out at all. What blew me out is that I changed my frame, and thought it was funny and started talking about it. Twas funny oh well.

I did the hand of god again just 2 meters further. Creeped out the blonde chick, a 6, her eyes looked so funny as if there was rotten fish 2inches next to her face, causing her to turn her head away and looking out of the corners of her eyes. I was amuzed and keept on rambling how she was from tanzania. All the girls in the group were waving at me to get away while I had a huge ass smirk on my face. In that moment I notice, it was the group with girl with boyfriend who I had approached before. 

I'd had it at that point. I know at this point that that was BS, and I knew I would be mad and hell yeah I am mad and somewhat disappointed for leaving this early, because leaving without finding the nimbus makes the next time more tricky. 

Wins:
+went out. straight from waking up and being in my head, getting cold on the bike, straight into the club. Talk about being thrown into the cold water. damn
+approached about 10 sets 
+was super relaxed
+my voice is healthy and great right now, i didn't overstress it with fucked up breathing and pressing. being relaxed makes a huge difference
+ at one point I actually felt somewhat conscious/centered in the club. that's a first.


Learn:
Almost all sets opened. I should get out of my head and fucking own it. Be agressive and get blown out hardcore, thats where its at. 
Should've stayed for another hour. I've got nothing to lose. 
Talk louder AAAAYOOOOOOOOOOO! WHAT UPPP! GREEEEN ELEPHAAAANTTSSSSS

peace out

Goal for the next time:

"quickly go from girl to girl until state is reached. then start feeling horny and wanting to fuck" stole this from PUA of the future's journal, credited to Brad.
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JUST FUCKING DO IT
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#29
Flypp

Flypp

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/14/2012 | Posts: 249

 I was so nervous to go out tonight, cuz I was in my head most of the day, and cuz I met up with a legitimate wing for the first time. All the expectations I assumed out of bullshit headspace land overwhelmed me. But seriously, I was stressed out. Then I listened to some tolle (didn't really focus, too much in my head), took a nap, and did the Magnus PUA tapping on the tense feeling in my stomach. It was gold! 80% of the feeling was gone, I was reenergized and could focus on becoming somewhat centered. The tapping is explained here: Magnus tapping (starts around minute 12)

The night was nice, I was in my head most of the time, but still did a lot of approaches from there, and got many good first reactions, like the first 2 seconds and often good first 5 seconds too. So much that happens between second 2 and second 5 dang, the girl has read my entire emotional state at that point.

Too late to type up a FR, but will do that most likely. Edin was the bomb, if anything got me out of my head, it was edin's NO WORRIES attitude! He pointed out some 10 sets to me with short instructions, which was helpful to say the least. now, gotta ZZzzzZZZZZ
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#30
Me-vs-Me

Me-vs-Me

Trusted Member

Join Date: 05/18/2010 | Posts: 1321

 Cool read, I don't think it should be approach everything and burn it to the ground and then go home thinking you should have approached some more :D It puts too much pressure on you, instade just feel awesome that you approached that much that night. And believe me, you are doing fcking good :D
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