THE FORUMS

Out in beach town - First night out solo and without booze in a while - have bad aa - meet up with 4 girls I number closed on the beach - don't follow through

Chatted up a bunch of girls on the beach yesterday. They were super in to me and I gave them my number and told them to hit me up if they go out. I wasn't too concerned if they did or not, and its funny how when that's the case they almost always do message you. So I get a text saying they're going out and I should join them. I'm really not feeling it, had a kind of moody day with my family at the this beach cottage we're staying at for a few days. But I'm a champ and I made myself go out.

I'm really nervous. Haven't been out solo and sober really since before my 3 weeks in europe. Can tell its gonna take a little time to get back in to it. I was literally fumbling with my keys and stuff.. Thought of the guy Tyler mentioned in a video that sucked so hard he couldn't even walk effectively, just bumped into people and shit. Okay, I wasn't THAT bad.

Got there, saw the girls from the beach on the dancefloor. Hugged them hello and said I'm gonna get a drink. Grabbed a beer. At this point I didn't want to go randomly start dancing with them cause that would have been lame, so I went and had a look around. Pretty dead. Go outside and arb around a bit. Know I should approach but really can't bring myself to cause there are only a few hard looking sets. So I just chill out a bit and check rsdn for inspiration. Some random post amps me up so the next girl I see I go in. She's by the bar and I open by commenting on her drink. Smile when she looks up. She smiles back and opens up straight away. Feel instant relief. I'm still kinda nervous but we chat a bit and she wants to go sit down to talk.. Pretty awesome girl, she keeps saying stuff that I'm like "wow that's cool", like how she went down to the beach and smoked weed in her pajamas. She is also staying at a beach cottage right by me all by herself. Shit, the logistics for that were so good. But I def didn't have my A game on, so when she said her and her friends are going across to another club and I should come, I opted rather to stay there with the other beach girls. Should have grabbed her num at least, but a guy friend of hers rocked up and I didn't want to do it infront of him. Well, writing this out I'm seeing how lame that is.

Anyway, feel way more on form after that first approach. Go over to the other girls and start chatting to the one. Goes smooth. Find out later she had a bf but before I knew I moved her around a bit, like to the outside area then to the bar. Wasn't really physical though.

The girl who I thought was the cutest, fun, cute and sexy, with a kind of rocker girl vibe was the one I liked the most.. They were being kind of strange, literally not wanting to leave the dancefloor at all. So I'd kind of dance with them when they told me to come join them for a bit, then like claw her in and say some shit, then like dance more, repeat. Then I'd get over trying to dance to the music so run off, then come back and repeat kinda. Haha I think I confused the hell outa these girls cause I was half being a fun cool guy and half acting pretty strangely in what I was doing.. I just wasn't in a place that had enough people to be bouncing around doing lots of sets.

Anyway I did slowly escalate physically more and more with rocker chick but I couldn't make myself try close. Sat down and talked to her for a bit. She said they were going soon. Didn't go for the makeout which I should have.

Also situationally opened some blondes at the bar. I thought I was doing well after I opened but they didn't stick around. I bet if I had gone in direct and THEN said the stuff I did they would have though.

So a few insights from the night. First I new it wasn't going to be a rockstar night.. And that's fine. I did hit up a couple approaches which showed my brain I wasn't going to die from them so that's a good start for getting back into hitting it up hard. Also followed through with these girls and even though I didn't make something happen, I did push way outa my current comfort zone. That comfort zone is going to grow big time but for now I must just accept it is what it is.

In term of what I could have done better... Well, I think with rocker girl I was waiting for her to like give me a massive ioi that would signal "okay she likes me, I can take it to the next level now". But that's not how it works and I should have just kept on escalating and and till she stopped me. Never really over escalated, which shows I'm scared to do so.

Going to crash now so Ill add anything else important in the morning. I'm just glad I got out, as a warmup for Cape Town returnage! Which is less than a week.

Oh and I have 2 dates probably happening this week, one with the red haired girl I met last fri and the other with a girl who's kind of a family friend but has turned into a stunner and is also pretty cool.