THE FORUMS

Realized I had one bad night on friday and I let it affect me. In reality, there's a couple of easily identifiable reasons why I'm not feeling as pimp as before right now and those are: 

1) I got drunk on tuesday for my birthday and saturday for my birthday celebration. This is a no brainer for me. I know how alcohol affects me. I sometimes think it only gives me a hangover the next day but it also drains my motivation and energy, leaves me depressed, and makes me less confident. It's a no go for me and giving up booze has been whats completely changed this area of my life this year.

2) I haven't been hitting up approaches as hard as before. Glancing back at my field reports, I realize I built up a ton of momentum this year. Then i capitilized on that a lot by following through with girls as well as getting straight results from cold approach. But I got complacant and I notice how I've been slowly been hitting up the club less often with nothing more than the goal of approaching. I've just been trying to meet up with old and new girls and not pushing myself in the field. Surprised that I slowly let this happen without realizing it.

3) Been slacking off with gym and diet. This affects my mood and energy.

So I know what I have to do.

Have a date with K, who last time we hung out it led to everything but sex. 

Did dates on monday + tuesday. Next week I should do the same, with new girls whose numbers I get this week.

Now going to go out Wednesday to Saturday prob.

Feel like it might be hard to get going this week. Want to focus on building up good emotions first. Going out with civilian friends tomorrow so I'm just going to have a fucking great time hanging out with them. Then just spread the good vibes around to people around me in the club. Basically just not have a pickup agenda, cause that's what always messes up my nights when I go out with my mates. I get irritated by them for "holding me back" and stuff like that. Which in reality is fucking stupid. I should just be having a good time with my mates and spreading the love. Can save hardcore approach nights for solo and/or trusted wing nights.

Thursday 20 April

Love how I'm updating this pretty much every day and I always have something to say about a new girl, a new night.

Was going to go out to my fav club with friends. They were wasted by 10pm and couldn't make it out. Found myself a little pissed off. Then got pissed off with my digsmate about our dish washing schedule. WTF sounds so dumb now.

Decided this would be a good time to meditate before I went out. So I spent 10 minutes staring at the wall.

Damn it workd well. My first thought when i finished was that I felt like a badass robot. Not all that sure how this is a good analogy at all but it probably has something to do with the burning focused presence you get from it.

It definitely helped with AA right off the bat and set the tone of being out of my head for the rest of the night. Doing this every night before I go out.

See some people I know as soon as I get out - NerdGirl, she's sad, a friend of hers just died; a guy mate who I chat to.

First proper approach is a HARD blowout. Girl says "did you not see we're having a conversation" all bichily. I reply "nope didn't notice" pretty unreactively, even though I was like woooahh harsh inside. She looks like she didn't expect that response and kinda just looks at me for a bit. Then says "well we're going to carry on". Please do, bitch.

Go across to club. I'm a bit hesitant to approach. First girl I approach is on her way out but stops to talk to me, and keeps asking me questions when i fail at million dollar mouthing her. Nice of her. Struggling with staying in so I say nice to meet you and move on. It's weird, I tend to persist to train myself to stay in set more with the bitchy girls than the ones that are and friendly. It's because things are going badly anyway with the bitchy ones so I don't have to worry about their perception of me getting worse, where as with the nice girls it might go from her liking me to her disliking me if I push it. Oh well I need to just embrace that fact and push ALL sets as long as I can.

Next girl is unresponsive. I keep talking to her even though she's hardly responding/acknowledging me. As I was talking to her i knew I should expect her to be interested in what I was saying. Bail after a bit.

Couple other appraoches. Speak to the guy I saw earlier and he told me he banged a girl last thur that we both met on the same night a while ago. It makes me mad when guys are hooking up with hotter girls than me, shit. That girl was HOT. Makes me jealous as hell, but was also stoked for him. Getting better at not "wanting to be the best at this", which is not a winning thought process.

Few other approaches,few other people I know.

See a girl walking past and I approach smiling. I think sometimes approach a little too serious, and don't realise I've been doing it till I do it differently.

Cool, it's on straight away. Sometimes you just know. I was thinking of brads "Dont do it. Dont touch my chest and giggle. It's all over after that".

She looks really young, and is short and has a kind of mousey cute look. 18. Not thaat hot but I've been finding lately that I'm attracted to girls that aren't like 8s and 9s per se but that have certain manerisms and you have a good vibe with them. Or maybe I'm just justifying myself because she was a 7.

Hang out on the couch. We talk about sex, she's telling me all sorts of interesting stuff. Makeout etc.

Bounce to another bar. Then another. We makeout on the couch and I finger her through her tights. 

She's staying at her parents and has curfew. So logistics are bad. But this is solid, will definitely be meeting up with her soon an getting it on. She sent me a message afterwards saying how wet she was.

She leaves. Hot the club again thinking I'll be on. Not so much. I'm feeling uninspired.

Go to my car, grab a collared shirt and hit a more fancy club. Few more approaches, nothing good though. 

Try get hold of K, who said I should see if shes still up after I go home. Sleeping.

NerdGirl is sad and wants company. Say I'll come over. She has friends crashing at her place though. So we say we'll meet tomorrow.

All options exhasusted so I head home.