THE FORUMS
Hey bro congrats on hitting it up so hard!
There's different opinions on this, but for ME PERSONALLY the game is mostly "state based".
AGAIN THERE ARE DIFFERENT OPINIONS ON THIS AND THIS IS JUST MINE, AND OTHER GUYS DON'T HAVE ANY ISSUES WITH "STATE" AT ALL.
For me personally when I'm "on" I can makeout with like half the girls in the club within seconds, pull the dime of the club, etc. When I'm "off" I often get blown out again and again similar to what you described.
(As a sidepoint this also often happens right before a massive surge in my game when I'm about to hit a "next level" -- but that's a separate issue I won't get into here, as I don't think it's relevent to you.)
Anyway this has been a problem for me for years, and I believe it stems from growing up under conditions of physical/emotional abuse so that if I get "out of state" I tend to go REALLY LOW. I don't just get a "bit out of state" like most people. I fucken crash and get stuck in my head -- so girls think I'm all weird and won't talk to me.
Fortunately over the years I've gotten really good at not having to deal with this. First of all because my baseline state has improved massively (check the vBlog I did in NYC on Rockerfeller centre) and also I've developed processes to make sure I hit state with consistency (check the recent "proof not promises" video and the "secret to hitting state 100% consistently" video on www.youtube.com/rsdfreetour).
Best of all though -- and this has helped me to become a lot less of one of those "state dependent" type guys and more the "state is irrelevent" type guys -- are the ideas in the "Charisma VS Congruence" video that I did.
So check those out and it should fix it for you. These aren't issues that everyone has to deal with, but I deal with them personally (like it's MY issue that I don't project onto other people) but maybe you have this issue as well. Maybe this will shed some light on it.
Tyler
There's different opinions on this, but for ME PERSONALLY the game is mostly "state based".
AGAIN THERE ARE DIFFERENT OPINIONS ON THIS AND THIS IS JUST MINE, AND OTHER GUYS DON'T HAVE ANY ISSUES WITH "STATE" AT ALL.
For me personally when I'm "on" I can makeout with like half the girls in the club within seconds, pull the dime of the club, etc. When I'm "off" I often get blown out again and again similar to what you described.
(As a sidepoint this also often happens right before a massive surge in my game when I'm about to hit a "next level" -- but that's a separate issue I won't get into here, as I don't think it's relevent to you.)
Anyway this has been a problem for me for years, and I believe it stems from growing up under conditions of physical/emotional abuse so that if I get "out of state" I tend to go REALLY LOW. I don't just get a "bit out of state" like most people. I fucken crash and get stuck in my head -- so girls think I'm all weird and won't talk to me.
Fortunately over the years I've gotten really good at not having to deal with this. First of all because my baseline state has improved massively (check the vBlog I did in NYC on Rockerfeller centre) and also I've developed processes to make sure I hit state with consistency (check the recent "proof not promises" video and the "secret to hitting state 100% consistently" video on www.youtube.com/rsdfreetour).
Best of all though -- and this has helped me to become a lot less of one of those "state dependent" type guys and more the "state is irrelevent" type guys -- are the ideas in the "Charisma VS Congruence" video that I did.
So check those out and it should fix it for you. These aren't issues that everyone has to deal with, but I deal with them personally (like it's MY issue that I don't project onto other people) but maybe you have this issue as well. Maybe this will shed some light on it.
Tyler
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It´s normal...Keep going and hit it harder (go out more often, stay out longer)
But try to adress the problem. Maybe you´re just way too uncalibrated, maybe you´re way too over excited and are like on drugs, maybe your eye contact is bad.
Just keep going, have a wing watch you and tell you if you have some obvious sticking points.
ChinaBoy
But try to adress the problem. Maybe you´re just way too uncalibrated, maybe you´re way too over excited and are like on drugs, maybe your eye contact is bad.
Just keep going, have a wing watch you and tell you if you have some obvious sticking points.
ChinaBoy
__________________
Now something is wrong if you getting that many blow outs every night you go out. I'm gonna give you tips which will improve your results in the quickest amount of time. Firstly work on your appearance. Hit the gym, groom yourself and buy some fashionable clothes because looks do matter!! Next thing be honest in your interactions with women. If you feel she's beautiful then tell her, if she says something you don't like then don't be scared to tell her. Lastly touch the girls, women like being desired and touching them also turns women on. I believe these things will help you with your problem but these are only short term solutions. Pm me if you need more help
Now something is wrong if you getting that many blow outs every night you go out. I'm gonna give you tips which will improve your results in the quickest amount of time. Firstly work on your appearance. Hit the gym, groom yourself and buy some fashionable clothes because looks do matter!! Next thing be honest in your interactions with women. If you feel she's beautiful then tell her, if she says something you don't like then don't be scared to tell her. Lastly touch the girls, women like being desired and touching them also turns women on. I believe these things will help you with your problem but these are only short term solutions. Pm me if you need more help
OP Tyler's post is spot on so long as you are familiar with state. I didn't experience it until my bootcamp, but I wasn't hitting it like you were beforehand. You may understand what it's about, but if not you need to take ownership of it before you can become less dependant on it. So if you've experienced state then go with what Tyler says. If not recognise what happens to you psychologically when you have an awesome night, where you get momentum and all set crack open as easy as a nut, enjoy it and play with it and then apply Tyler's tip to becoming less dependent. It sucks cos you can't be on it all the time, but at least you fucking tried dude!
__________________
I believe it stems from growing up under conditions of physical/emotional abuse so that if I get "out of state" I tend to go REALLY LOW. I don't just get a "bit out of state" like most people. I fucken crash and get stuck in my head -- so girls think I'm all weird and won't talk to me.
I EXACTLY have the same issue. I really have to struggle with this and it's so fucking hard that sometimes I just want to cry LOL. I guess, if Tyler makes it, I can too huh?!
Is there only the painful way of pushing through it?
__________________
I believe it stems from growing up under conditions of physical/emotional abuse so that if I get "out of state" I tend to go REALLY LOW. I don't just get a "bit out of state" like most people. I fucken crash and get stuck in my head -- so girls think I'm all weird and won't talk to me.
I EXACTLY have the same issue. I really have to struggle with this and it's so fucking hard that sometimes I just want to cry LOL. I guess, if Tyler makes it, I can too huh?!
Is there only the painful way of pushing through it?
__________________
Sluts, Beer, and Metal!
My Field Reports:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/208534/forum
If you are a Newb READ THIS FIRST, THEN GO OUT:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/170650
Whatever I thought might hold me back, I avoided. I crossed girls off my list, except as tools for my sexual needs." - From the 1977 autobiography "Arnold: The Education of a Bodybuilder" by Arnold Schwarzenegger
My Field Reports:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/208534/forum
If you are a Newb READ THIS FIRST, THEN GO OUT:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/170650
Whatever I thought might hold me back, I avoided. I crossed girls off my list, except as tools for my sexual needs." - From the 1977 autobiography "Arnold: The Education of a Bodybuilder" by Arnold Schwarzenegger
That happened to me when I took it too serious. I read up on this all the time, thought about things, observed my state, worried about length of frames etc.
When I kept things light and airy, had only a few drinks and just had a laugh and didn't really care what was happening and escalated as girls got into me, I found I had better success. Maybe try the same - go out and aim for fun and you may find the girls come in as you have fun
When I kept things light and airy, had only a few drinks and just had a laugh and didn't really care what was happening and escalated as girls got into me, I found I had better success. Maybe try the same - go out and aim for fun and you may find the girls come in as you have fun
Hey bro congrats on hitting it up so hard!
There's different opinions on this, but for ME PERSONALLY the game is mostly "state based".
AGAIN THERE ARE DIFFERENT OPINIONS ON THIS AND THIS IS JUST MINE, AND OTHER GUYS DON'T HAVE ANY ISSUES WITH "STATE" AT ALL.
For me personally when I'm "on" I can makeout with like half the girls in the club within seconds, pull the dime of the club, etc. When I'm "off" I often get blown out again and again similar to what you described.
(As a sidepoint this also often happens right before a massive surge in my game when I'm about to hit a "next level" -- but that's a separate issue I won't get into here, as I don't think it's relevent to you.)
Anyway this has been a problem for me for years, and I believe it stems from growing up under conditions of physical/emotional abuse so that if I get "out of state" I tend to go REALLY LOW. I don't just get a "bit out of state" like most people. I fucken crash and get stuck in my head -- so girls think I'm all weird and won't talk to me.
Fortunately over the years I've gotten really good at not having to deal with this. First of all because my baseline state has improved massively (check the vBlog I did in NYC on Rockerfeller centre) and also I've developed processes to make sure I hit state with consistency (check the recent "proof not promises" video and the "secret to hitting state 100% consistently" video on www.youtube.com/rsdfreetour).
Best of all though -- and this has helped me to become a lot less of one of those "state dependent" type guys and more the "state is irrelevent" type guys -- are the ideas in the "Charisma VS Congruence" video that I did.
So check those out and it should fix it for you. These aren't issues that everyone has to deal with, but I deal with them personally (like it's MY issue that I don't project onto other people) but maybe you have this issue as well. Maybe this will shed some light on it.
Tyler
There's different opinions on this, but for ME PERSONALLY the game is mostly "state based".
AGAIN THERE ARE DIFFERENT OPINIONS ON THIS AND THIS IS JUST MINE, AND OTHER GUYS DON'T HAVE ANY ISSUES WITH "STATE" AT ALL.
For me personally when I'm "on" I can makeout with like half the girls in the club within seconds, pull the dime of the club, etc. When I'm "off" I often get blown out again and again similar to what you described.
(As a sidepoint this also often happens right before a massive surge in my game when I'm about to hit a "next level" -- but that's a separate issue I won't get into here, as I don't think it's relevent to you.)
Anyway this has been a problem for me for years, and I believe it stems from growing up under conditions of physical/emotional abuse so that if I get "out of state" I tend to go REALLY LOW. I don't just get a "bit out of state" like most people. I fucken crash and get stuck in my head -- so girls think I'm all weird and won't talk to me.
Fortunately over the years I've gotten really good at not having to deal with this. First of all because my baseline state has improved massively (check the vBlog I did in NYC on Rockerfeller centre) and also I've developed processes to make sure I hit state with consistency (check the recent "proof not promises" video and the "secret to hitting state 100% consistently" video on www.youtube.com/rsdfreetour).
Best of all though -- and this has helped me to become a lot less of one of those "state dependent" type guys and more the "state is irrelevent" type guys -- are the ideas in the "Charisma VS Congruence" video that I did.
So check those out and it should fix it for you. These aren't issues that everyone has to deal with, but I deal with them personally (like it's MY issue that I don't project onto other people) but maybe you have this issue as well. Maybe this will shed some light on it.
Tyler
I have watched all the videos you've mentioned multiple times over the past few months and your one about "secret to hitting state 100% consistantly" is my favorite video of all. Honestly, because it's all I got to keep me from becoming a pessimistic bitch and getting upset about it. I'm always thinking "approaching is my only criteria for success, and I'll hit state eventually" and it does work (not 100% as advertised lol, but maybe I bailed out early) . In retrospect I am pleased w/ how things are going because when I started my approach anxiety was crippling but now once I get running it just about dissappears.
Its definately a state-based "issue" and I'm fueled by faith in momentum and approaching as my only criteria for success (I guess I'm a f*uckin champion then) to break me through this lull. I plan on attending a hotseat (Either Miami or Atlanta, havent decided yet) to give me a visual refresher of good game. (The last hotseat definately boosted me)... Untill, then I'll just keep going out, maybe f*ck a tiger or something.
Thanks for the advice, it's greatly appreciated.
__________________
That happened to me when I took it too serious. I read up on this all the time, thought about things, observed my state, worried about length of frames etc.
When I kept things light and airy, had only a few drinks and just had a laugh and didn't really care what was happening and escalated as girls got into me, I found I had better success. Maybe try the same - go out and aim for fun and you may find the girls come in as you have fun
I find those are my best nights too. I guess" light and airy w laughs" like you described is my idea of state + outa my head w RAS only on the good stuff.. Sometimes it's difficult though because if I wanna go out and just have fun then my bitch brain says "well not getting rejected by girls and looking like a fool is fun to me" and thus I'll just chode around all night. So I have to push myself outside my comfort zone, which sometimes is not fun.. When I kept things light and airy, had only a few drinks and just had a laugh and didn't really care what was happening and escalated as girls got into me, I found I had better success. Maybe try the same - go out and aim for fun and you may find the girls come in as you have fun
Trust me I get your point and its correct. Its one of those wierd pardoxes I guess in which there must be a "sweet-spot" in there somewhere.
But I'll digress because I don't want to start up mental masterbation.. I'll go out into the field and figure it out there.
Thanks for the input I appreciate it
__________________
Magi
Member
Join Date: 01/07/2011 | Posts: 93
This is not supposed to be a negative post, I realize that blowouts are all part of "the game", and I'm ok with that, but I wanna know if this is normal or have I strayed into just shitty game territory.
I go out about 4 night a weeks. And I approach about a dozen or so girls a night and usually after 1-2 minutes of the open it stalls and fades away. I've gotten laid from cold approach about 5-6 times in the past year (thank you RSD), not afraid to go out solo anymore (30% of me going out is solo now), BUT almost all of my night are all blowouts. one after the other, all night. (granted I can get numbers from mediocre girls, but my goal are girls that are hot 7-10's).
I'm not complaining and I have enough "book knowledge" from the RSD articles, forum, and the hotseat event I attended . I know that more time in the field is essential and I've beceome more resolved than ever the keep hitting the clubs and pushing my comfort zone.
Of course I'd love to take a bootcamp but being a phd student with 10's of thousands of $ in debt, its difficult. I really just want to know if this is normal in the process or should I be alarmed?