THE FORUMS
Legit post brahhhh
i like the "s'all good"
my personal favorites when she says something positive is a very non-chalant "kcoolsweet". i think i have gotten laid of my use of "kcoolsweet" alone.
I like the point that you also metioned getting flaked on 6 times a week. This can happen when ur talking to like 10 girls. Yes, i hookup with 1 new girl a week, But i also get flaked on 4 times that week. its just normal for a girl, i express boundaries about it. But i dont get mad. Last girl that flaked i said " you are soooo buying the first round of drinks next time" - and then i banged her 2 days later! She had to make a little investment for her behavior. Lets her know she is dealing with a quality man.
I am also a BIG beliver against building attraction through text, it can be done. But there is no connection, you are not a "real person" to her unless you call.
Some dude will say they dont have time to do all dis calling caca. Thats fine, just do whatever gets you the most consistent results.
anywho, solid post.
i like the "s'all good"
my personal favorites when she says something positive is a very non-chalant "kcoolsweet". i think i have gotten laid of my use of "kcoolsweet" alone.
I like the point that you also metioned getting flaked on 6 times a week. This can happen when ur talking to like 10 girls. Yes, i hookup with 1 new girl a week, But i also get flaked on 4 times that week. its just normal for a girl, i express boundaries about it. But i dont get mad. Last girl that flaked i said " you are soooo buying the first round of drinks next time" - and then i banged her 2 days later! She had to make a little investment for her behavior. Lets her know she is dealing with a quality man.
I am also a BIG beliver against building attraction through text, it can be done. But there is no connection, you are not a "real person" to her unless you call.
Some dude will say they dont have time to do all dis calling caca. Thats fine, just do whatever gets you the most consistent results.
anywho, solid post.
__________________
+1 for calling > texting
Also, this shit (being chill with them flaking etc.) comes pretty natural when having enough girls around. Abundance mentality. Simply a waste of time being worried about some girls flaking while you could actually be with another one fucking. Don't have to tell this to you obviously, just wanted to add that.
Also, this shit (being chill with them flaking etc.) comes pretty natural when having enough girls around. Abundance mentality. Simply a waste of time being worried about some girls flaking while you could actually be with another one fucking. Don't have to tell this to you obviously, just wanted to add that.
__________________
“Real niggas do what they wanna do, bitch niggas do what they can.”
-Tupac Shakur-
-Tupac Shakur-
purdy good
what's your thoughts on girls who don't answer calls but you can get talking on text?
what's your thoughts on girls who don't answer calls but you can get talking on text?
__________________
RSD Misinterpreted: A Series of Posts on Popular RSD Ideas and How I Used to Misunderstand Them
Coming to you every Sunday...
►Part I -- What Tyler means by "Drop the Self-Image Paradigm"
►Part II -- [What Do You Want to Hear About On a Coming Sunday?]
Coming to you every Sunday...
►Part I -- What Tyler means by "Drop the Self-Image Paradigm"
►Part II -- [What Do You Want to Hear About On a Coming Sunday?]
Legit post brahhhh
i like the "s'all good"
my personal favorites when she says something positive is a very non-chalant "kcoolsweet". i think i have gotten laid of my use of "kcoolsweet" alone.
I like the point that you also metioned getting flaked on 6 times a week. This can happen when ur talking to like 10 girls. Yes, i hookup with 1 new girl a week, But i also get flaked on 4 times that week. its just normal for a girl, i express boundaries about it. But i dont get mad. Last girl that flaked i said " you are soooo buying the first round of drinks next time" - and then i banged her 2 days later! She had to make a little investment for her behavior. Lets her know she is dealing with a quality man.
I am also a BIG beliver against building attraction through text, it can be done. But there is no connection, you are not a "real person" to her unless you call.
Some dude will say they dont have time to do all dis calling caca. Thats fine, just do whatever gets you the most consistent results.
anywho, solid post.
I'll use that text sometime. see how it works for me.i like the "s'all good"
my personal favorites when she says something positive is a very non-chalant "kcoolsweet". i think i have gotten laid of my use of "kcoolsweet" alone.
I like the point that you also metioned getting flaked on 6 times a week. This can happen when ur talking to like 10 girls. Yes, i hookup with 1 new girl a week, But i also get flaked on 4 times that week. its just normal for a girl, i express boundaries about it. But i dont get mad. Last girl that flaked i said " you are soooo buying the first round of drinks next time" - and then i banged her 2 days later! She had to make a little investment for her behavior. Lets her know she is dealing with a quality man.
I am also a BIG beliver against building attraction through text, it can be done. But there is no connection, you are not a "real person" to her unless you call.
Some dude will say they dont have time to do all dis calling caca. Thats fine, just do whatever gets you the most consistent results.
anywho, solid post.
Girls flake like crazy man. I texted a girl tonight saying, 'would you like to to the movies tonight.' - she goes, "yes. come get me at 8". After work I went to this other girls house to fuck. After that happened I got a text saying she's flaking. Big whoop. It's friday.
Yeah when guys say they don't have time to call girls I call bullshit. I have a busy life as it is and I still find time.
Thanks bro. Say hi to alex for me. That french fuck. Know you're reading this. :)
+1 for calling > texting
Also, this shit (being chill with them flaking etc.) comes pretty natural when having enough girls around. Abundance mentality. Simply a waste of time being worried about some girls flaking while you could actually be with another one fucking. Don't have to tell this to you obviously, just wanted to add that.
Aye. I've learned over the years to have zero attachment to girls flaking. Period. I used to get so upset. It was pathetic. Now I'm good. Also, this shit (being chill with them flaking etc.) comes pretty natural when having enough girls around. Abundance mentality. Simply a waste of time being worried about some girls flaking while you could actually be with another one fucking. Don't have to tell this to you obviously, just wanted to add that.
Thanks for the tidbit bro.
purdy good
what's your thoughts on girls who don't answer calls but you can get talking on text?
It's rare. But I've had it happen.what's your thoughts on girls who don't answer calls but you can get talking on text?
I don't force calling on them. If they don't like it, I won't call. I mean, obviously try and get her on the phone. I had a girl once say she hated the phone. I called her. Talked on the phone for 6 minutes. She said 'i cant talk on the phone its so awkward to me'. We just text now. We're getting together on Monday. If you tried and she won't, then stop. And just text. I'll simply flirt a little bit over text. Be direct. Do what I said above when it comes to texting. Think 'cute'. Send pictures that girls eat up. At my work there's the boss' dog that walks around all day. I took a picture of it. Sent it to a ton of girls. "Found a new friend at work", I said. So many 'awwww!' messages.
Just do casual talk. Like how I'm talking now. Short sentences. Statements. Then after a bit go for the hangout. I've been experimenting lately between these two examples..
a) "lets grab hot chocolate on thursday. i'll pick you up at 9"
b) "would you like to see a movie / grab sushi / whatever with me."
I've been having way more success with the second option. Guys on here look at option B and go, "that's chode". Welp. It works for me. Works way better than the first one.
Actually I'll give you my text convo that just happened with Monday girl:
*I hadn't texted this girl for a week. I never sent any needy texts, I just didn't text her for a week or so*
Her: :)
Me: Hey cutie. How's your day.
Her: Goood you?
Me: Good. Just at work.
Her: I wanna go skating.
Me: Would you like me to take you.
Her: Yes.
Me: Okay. Lets go on tuesday.
Her: Where will we go?
Me: X place. Monday night instead.
Her: Kk
Her: I need my skates sharpened. And probably de-rusted.
Me: Same. Would you like me to meet you there. Or pick you up.
Her: Pick me up if you can.
Me: Okay. What's your address.
Her: 123 yup street
Me: Okay. I'll pick you up at 7.
Her: K.
Her: Hope you're ready to see me fall lots
Me: I'll help you skate.
Her: :)
Just make statements. Short statements. Be nice to her. This is where a little chivalry comes into play with the whole 'lets grab coffee on tuesday. ill pick you up at 9' vs. 'would you like me to take you skating'. Second option sounds more inviting. Less demanding.
cool. sounds like you 'get' that girls arent sitting here judging us and shit, they're more just not as cool as us and less than 100% comfortable than we used to assume. prob end up w much more solid stuff going forward as opposed to just ONS going about it this way.
I don't force calling on them. If they don't like it, I won't call. I mean, obviously try and get her on the phone. I had a girl once say she hated the phone. I called her. Talked on the phone for 6 minutes. She said 'i cant talk on the phone its so awkward to me'. We just text now. We're getting together on Monday. If you tried and she won't, then stop. And just text. I'll simply flirt a little bit over text. Be direct. Do what I said above when it comes to texting. Think 'cute'. Send pictures that girls eat up. At my work there's the boss' dog that walks around all day. I took a picture of it. Sent it to a ton of girls. "Found a new friend at work", I said. So many 'awwww!' messages.
Just do casual talk. Like how I'm talking now. Short sentences. Statements. Then after a bit go for the hangout. I've been experimenting lately between these two examples..
a) "lets grab hot chocolate on thursday. i'll pick you up at 9"
b) "would you like to see a movie / grab sushi / whatever with me."
I've been having way more success with the second option. Guys on here look at option B and go, "that's chode". Welp. It works for me. Works way better than the first one.
Actually I'll give you my text convo that just happened with Monday girl:
*I hadn't texted this girl for a week. I never sent any needy texts, I just didn't text her for a week or so*
Her: :)
Me: Hey cutie. How's your day.
Her: Goood you?
Me: Good. Just at work.
Her: I wanna go skating.
Me: Would you like me to take you.
Her: Yes.
Me: Okay. Lets go on tuesday.
Her: Where will we go?
Me: X place. Monday night instead.
Her: Kk
Her: I need my skates sharpened. And probably de-rusted.
Me: Same. Would you like me to meet you there. Or pick you up.
Her: Pick me up if you can.
Me: Okay. What's your address.
Her: 123 yup street
Me: Okay. I'll pick you up at 7.
Her: K.
Her: Hope you're ready to see me fall lots
Me: I'll help you skate.
Her: :)
Just make statements. Short statements. Be nice to her. This is where a little chivalry comes into play with the whole 'lets grab coffee on tuesday. ill pick you up at 9' vs. 'would you like me to take you skating'. Second option sounds more inviting. Less demanding.
purdy good
what's your thoughts on girls who don't answer calls but you can get talking on text?
It's rare. But I've had it happen.what's your thoughts on girls who don't answer calls but you can get talking on text?
I don't force calling on them. If they don't like it, I won't call. I mean, obviously try and get her on the phone. I had a girl once say she hated the phone. I called her. Talked on the phone for 6 minutes. She said 'i cant talk on the phone its so awkward to me'. We just text now. We're getting together on Monday. If you tried and she won't, then stop. And just text. I'll simply flirt a little bit over text. Be direct. Do what I said above when it comes to texting. Think 'cute'. Send pictures that girls eat up. At my work there's the boss' dog that walks around all day. I took a picture of it. Sent it to a ton of girls. "Found a new friend at work", I said. So many 'awwww!' messages.
Just do casual talk. Like how I'm talking now. Short sentences. Statements. Then after a bit go for the hangout. I've been experimenting lately between these two examples..
a) "lets grab hot chocolate on thursday. i'll pick you up at 9"
b) "would you like to see a movie / grab sushi / whatever with me."
I've been having way more success with the second option. Guys on here look at option B and go, "that's chode". Welp. It works for me. Works way better than the first one.
Actually I'll give you my text convo that just happened with Monday girl:
*I hadn't texted this girl for a week. I never sent any needy texts, I just didn't text her for a week or so*
Her: :)
Me: Hey cutie. How's your day.
Her: Goood you?
Me: Good. Just at work.
Her: I wanna go skating.
Me: Would you like me to take you.
Her: Yes.
Me: Okay. Lets go on tuesday.
Her: Where will we go?
Me: X place. Monday night instead.
Her: Kk
Her: I need my skates sharpened. And probably de-rusted.
Me: Same. Would you like me to meet you there. Or pick you up.
Her: Pick me up if you can.
Me: Okay. What's your address.
Her: 123 yup street
Me: Okay. I'll pick you up at 7.
Her: K.
Her: Hope you're ready to see me fall lots
Me: I'll help you skate.
Her: :)
Just make statements. Short statements. Be nice to her. This is where a little chivalry comes into play with the whole 'lets grab coffee on tuesday. ill pick you up at 9' vs. 'would you like me to take you skating'. Second option sounds more inviting. Less demanding.
__________________
RSD Misinterpreted: A Series of Posts on Popular RSD Ideas and How I Used to Misunderstand Them
Coming to you every Sunday...
►Part I -- What Tyler means by "Drop the Self-Image Paradigm"
►Part II -- [What Do You Want to Hear About On a Coming Sunday?]
Coming to you every Sunday...
►Part I -- What Tyler means by "Drop the Self-Image Paradigm"
►Part II -- [What Do You Want to Hear About On a Coming Sunday?]
This is gold, really appreciate it man. Needed something like this as I just didn't know where to go once I had the number.
Much obliged.
Much obliged.
This is gold, really appreciate it man. Needed something like this as I just didn't know where to go once I had the number.
Much obliged.
No problem buddy. Much obliged.
yeah notice im now doing this shit more naturally, dunno if its cuz
(i) i just read this
(ii) getting way more numbers + going out daily --> not caring and hence this is what happens automatically
or both
but yeah, solid post man.
btw i guess its useful to realize 'this is what occurs naturally when you have options' --> you don't get pissed, and you actually are cool and always in a good mood hence its natural to just call up girls not LOOKING FOR SOMETHING instead just to MAINTAIN YOUR FEELING GOOD (and when the time is right you may then meet up).
props again.
(i) i just read this
(ii) getting way more numbers + going out daily --> not caring and hence this is what happens automatically
or both
but yeah, solid post man.
btw i guess its useful to realize 'this is what occurs naturally when you have options' --> you don't get pissed, and you actually are cool and always in a good mood hence its natural to just call up girls not LOOKING FOR SOMETHING instead just to MAINTAIN YOUR FEELING GOOD (and when the time is right you may then meet up).
props again.
__________________
RSD Misinterpreted: A Series of Posts on Popular RSD Ideas and How I Used to Misunderstand Them
Coming to you every Sunday...
►Part I -- What Tyler means by "Drop the Self-Image Paradigm"
►Part II -- [What Do You Want to Hear About On a Coming Sunday?]
Coming to you every Sunday...
►Part I -- What Tyler means by "Drop the Self-Image Paradigm"
►Part II -- [What Do You Want to Hear About On a Coming Sunday?]
jRad
Respected Member
Join Date: 05/23/2009 | Posts: 488
This post is about Comfort. Depending on your style of game, comfort is not needed but also most definitely needed. What is Comfort? Basically getting to know the girl. Having her invest. Making her feel comfortable enough to hang out and not flake. Making her comfortable enough to touch you. Kiss you. Fuck you.
So, how do you get that girl from meeting her one night at the bar, or during the day, to meeting up with you?
By building a connection. I personally do this through picking up the phone and calling her. 90% of guys strictly text. Be the one that stands out in a great way. I've asked so many women (aged 18- 38) when they're interested a guy, if they'd rather he call or text. 95% of the girls said call. "If he's interested in me, I want him to man up and call me. Not a lot of guys do that these days". Couldn't agree more.
Little anecdote. I went out with a friend of mine a couple weeks ago for coffee. "Man, there's this chick that's just a rocket. I can't get her out though. It's brutal". Wanna know what I told him? "Call her". He goes, "what?". "Call her. Pick up the phone and call her". "Why?". "You and a billion guys are texting her. Be different. Pick up the phone, shoot the shit with her. Don't ask to hang out the first time either. Just call, talk, laugh together, ask how the day was. Then end it".
Couple times after calling her, guess what. She started texting him. She started calling. He invested, she invested. He got laid. And is still fucking her.
The level of Comfort varies depending on the chick. If you're a normal dude, you can read a girl. You can tell whether she's up for immediately meeting up. If you can tell she wants your dick, then just briefly text. Followed by saying you wanna see her. She'll probably say yes. You're good.
But sometimes she needs work. Something you need to understand. Girls give out their number like clockwork. They give it to you cause they like you. They may like you, but maybe not enough to actually hang out with you. They also think of you as a stranger. "That guy" I met on the street. "That random guy" I met at the bar. You have no attachment to her. And she most definitely has none to you.
I used to have a belief. That belief is this. "If a girl wants to see me, she'll wanna see me. Period. If she doesn't, then she doesn't. I can't change that". This is a half truth. I was right on the first part. If a girl wants to hang with you, she'll be receptive when you say, "hey, lets grab coffee on thursday at 8. I'll pick you up". But say if you get a girl's number. You've strictly been texting. A little bit of fluff talk, flirting, whatever. You say, "hey, lets grab coffee on thursday at 8. I'll pick you up". She might say "I'm busy thursday, sorry" or, "I'm hanging out with my friends on thursday". That sucks. I still get that sometimes. But guess what? Here's the zinger.
You can change her perception of you. If she doesn't want to see you now, you can invest (but not chase) and she'll want to see you.
I've had this happen to me so many times it's scary. I've had girls that are totally not interested. And then I start calling them. Not even asking to hangout. I just call them. That's it. Fluff talk. Give value. Laugh. Have fun with her on the phone. Share songs on the phone with her. That's it.
Right now I'll give you a little run down of how I go from meeting a girl and getting her number to a hangout. I'll also include some obstacles you might encounter on the way (like flaking) and how to deal with it.
1 - Get the number. Use whatever opener you want. You can do anything. Usually I just make a statement. "man. this traffic this morning is soo awesome. shoot me. - jRad". I put -name if I didn't program my number into her phone.
2 - Fluff talk for a bit. Fluff talk = random, normal conversation. Use statements. I barely ask questions. "What are you up to today." I never used question marks. Seeking rapport behaviour. I just use short statements with periods.
Here's a text convo I'm having right now.
Girl 1
Her: "hey! ass man! you awake?"
Me: "I am."
Her: *sends me a pic of her ass*
Me: "Nice. Send me backshots. They're the best."
Her: *sends me three backshot pictures*
Me: "Nice."
I've talked on the phone with this girl a couple times. She's comfortable enough to send me stuff like this. Another part of fluff talk is sending pictures through text. This is a great way to hook girls. I have a blackberry so it's easy to send images. I'm sure most modern phones can text pics and send them. I usually take pictures of my dogs and send them. Girls eat this shit up. Don't be a douchebag and send topless pictures of yourself. Think girly. Send cutesie shit. Say you're on a walk. Take a picture of a sunset or beach or the sky saying, "so relaxing". I have two little cousins. Take pictures of them and send them. Think 'cute'. They eat it up. I also send voice notes since I have a blackberry. You might be able to do this with other smartphones. Not sure. Speak with a deep, calm, slow voice. Just normal fluff. "maaan, this traffic this morning is killing me. how's your day going". I either get one of three responses: 1) a text or voice note back 2) a text saying, "you have a really sexy voice" 3) no response. In the no response case, I'll let a day of silence. That's a rule of thumb btw. If she doesn't respond to one text, let one day of silence happen, then start up again. If she doesn't text after that point, wait 2 or 3 days then just call her.
3. This is where you call them. Some guys say it's best to call unpredictably. I agree. Never say "I'm going to call you at this time" or "I'm going to call you tonight". Just do it sporadically. I usually don't call till after 9. Between 9 and 11. Call 2-3 times a week. It goes back to the basic principle of supply and demand. You want to invest by calling her (supply) but you also want to keep her on her toes (demand). But that's for another thread. When you talk on the phone with her for the first one or two times, don't even make plans with her. Just call. Shoot the shit. You want to get her to that point of, "when is this guy going to ask me to hangout?". After calling her two or three times in one week, at the end of the second or third phone call, go for the hangout. "We should totally see a movie this weekend". "You like sushi? Lets grab some next week". "I saw this preview for this scary movie today. I wanna see it with ya next week. I'll make out hard with you in the theatre while you feel my cock. Then probably fuck you in my car". Just kidding. Don't say that last sexual part. Heh.
4. So you've called them a couple times, asked her to hang at the end of the second or third phone call and she's receptive to chilling with you. What next? Well, you hang out with her. And put your penis inside of her.
What happens if everything goes well, but then she flakes last minute? Nothing. You can't do anything. One thing I can say, and that I've learned from Madison and Snugglybear is, "don't be emotional". Don't get mad. Don't get frustrated. You know how many times I've been flaked on this week? Twice today. Twice yesterday. Once for this coming Saturday. Here they are and this is how I handled it.
Girl 1
Her: "my vagina will be out of service this weekend :( lol"
Me: "s'all good."
Her: "we could still do something. i'm just not sure what lol or just do something when I'm back in service"
Her: "yeah lets just do something next week
Me: "yeah sure. lets pick somewhere warmer too."
Girl 2
Her: "Soo I'm stupid and just remembered its christmas for me this weekend :( can we do the movie on monday?"
Me: "It'd have to be an early show."
Her: "On the monday?!
Her: "I work till 9 mon and tues"
Her: "What about sunday?!"
Me: "Sunday matinee's good. Would you like it if we went to your place after and snuggled."
Her: "I would love it but let me figure out what my family is up to that!"
Her: "And i'll let u know."
Me: "Okay."
Her: ":)"
Girl 3
Me: "so my alarm was set today on my bb as, "hook up n snuggle with vanessa tn".
Her: "I can't tonight."
Her: "Text you in a bit"
Her: "K on my break. I can't tonight, friend is going through a ridiculously rough time, she needs me."
Me: "Alright. Hope your friend gets better."
Girl 4
Her: "So I work saturday aft now"
Me: "Cool."
Her: "So what then"
Her: "?"
Me: "I can only fuck on weekends."
Her: "Okay, can you do saturday after 6:30 or sunday after 5:30?"
Her: "Sunday works best."
Her: "Okay I'll text you."
Girl 5
Me and one of my fuck buddies are trying to arrange a threesome. She has two prospects.
Me: "think we could swing a saturday drunken threesome or what"
Her: "I'll ask her she may be busy this weekend"
Me: "aight."
Her: "yeah she's busy all weekend :("
Me: "s'all good."
Her: "lauren's also at the cottage all weekend"
Me: "all good."
Anyway. Point is. If they see you actually caring about them flaking, they'll flake more and eventually drift away. I just don't care if they do. I know girls can be a nightmare when it comes to plans. So I weigh zero emotion into it. Same with texting. Same with phone calls. I know sometimes they won't pick up. Who cares. If they see you're not needy and clingy about it, you're fine. If they flake when you have plans, don't text or contact them at all for a week. Let her come to you. If she doesnt after a week, call her and pretend like nothing happened.
Two final things when it comes to building comfort and her being interested - there are some exceptions. Some girls just don't chase at all. This doesn't mean they're not interested. If you call her and she's receptive, and she clearly likes talking to you, then she's interested. One more thing. And this is important. When you start calling a girl, you've set a standard. She'll expect you to call. If you call her a couple times, then hang out, and then not call anymore and just text, she might lose interest because you're not living up to your 'phone calling' standard. I've had situations where I've hung out with a girl (or fucked her), and then never called again. I still talked to her, but just through text. I'd say 50% of the girls I've done this to slowly lose interest. But the moment I call them up again, bam. They're on my dick again.
Anyway. I can't stress this enough. Comfort is still very important between the time you meet a girl and the time you hang out. Also, not giving a shit when she flakes helps too. Hope this helped some people.
Cheers.
• Value Yourself, Low Investment, Letting Go = How You Get Girls.
• Feeling needy? Here's your solution.
• How to have a Successful Relationship
• On Building Comfort and Handling Flakes
• How to Set a Sexual Frame on the First Date