THE FORUMS

Day 16 – Saturday, Jan 14 (2/2)

Decent Sets:
Opened a seated two set, one hooks instantly. Keep talking about some stuff, then my wing enters. I proceed to talk with the friend who so damn cute (8.5) but she is super icy. This really doesn’t affect me and I keep talking about some stuff while she scans my eyes. I tell her she is cute, and she thanks me for the compliment. After a few minutes she cracks and is into it, but is still has a serious vibe about her. She tells me they are here for a birthday and introduces me to her sister (birthday girl). We talk a bit more but I pussy out and leave.This girl was exactly like the one in my dream (icy, scanning my eyes), intennnnssssee.
o Towards the end of the night we go into another spot and see those girls dancing. The girl I opened is like “newstuff!!!” and I’m like “yea!”, put my hand out, she takes it. I don’t fully commit to going in and dancing with her so I do this weird dance thing. The sister sees me and is like “yeeeaaa!” so I tell her happy birthday again. Then failure happens. I don’t want to push this hard and risk losing it and at the same time I’m like “I’m here with my wing, lets keep hitting other stuff up”. End of interaction

Stop these two girls in the bathroom hallway. They stop and I intro and tell one of them she is cute. She tells me she is engaged and shows me the ring. I’m like “cool” and start saying some other stuff while I lean back against a wall. The girls then tell me how cute I am and that I should stop by there table because there are some other cute singles at their table. I don’t stop by their table.

I tell this lady on the dance floor how sexy she is and intro myself, we talk a bit. It turns out she is a good deal older than me, but tries to introduce me to her younger friends. I bail, thinking that finding my wing is more important.

At the end of the night I hit up this one girl in a group of three. It goes well, but I leave, then realize I should have taken things further, go back to find her for her number, but her friends say she left. My interaction with this girl was purely me saying what I wanted, I was relaxed and sharp at the same time. Here was the interaction:
o Me: “hey I’m newstuff”
o Her: “hi, I’m nina”
o Me: “ah, I see. Nina, pinta, santa maria. You pry get that a lot. I feel your pain. My last name is ____ like the ____”
o At this point I’m just dancing with myself a bit and don’t feel the need to say anything
o Me: “I think you’re cute”
o Her: “awe, thanks”
o During this whole interaction she seems into it and I can feel she is a bit nervous talking to me. Haha, I’m assuming this was due to my strong presence. :)
o We chat a bit more.

See two cute girls sitting by the dance floor. I dance my way to them, extend my hand (no words exchanged), she takes it and we start to dance. After a few seconds she tells me her friend must dance with us too. I go to grab the friend, but my wingman enters and we all go dance. I put my hands on her hips and we do a bit of grinding, but the friends are facing each other and talking. Not good. We dance for about 15 more seconds then they scamper off. I ask my wing what happened, he tells me the one girl made a comment about his age/marital status (he’s single, but around 40) he didn’t like it and the girl felt this. I told him to let that shit go, just take it as a joke, unfortunately he was having a bit of a rough night. Other than that this set could have turned into something awesome. :(

Girls Approached: 20-25
Goals Met:
1. Yes
2. No
3. Yes
4. No

Day 17 – Sunday, Jan 15

Greek girl bailed on me again. I was honestly a bit disappointed, what do I do?... go out.

I find this popular bar online, but get lost trying to get to it. I spend 30 minutes trying to get back on track. At this point it is 10:20pm and I’m not going to lie, I did not want to go out. I just wanted to go back home and give my body some needed rest from going out 15+ days. Did I do this? Hell no, I thought I may as well go into downtown since I was close enough. First place I get into has a decent amount of people for a Sunday. I sit down, order a water, then ask the girl next to me if this place has wifi. I am going to surf the RSD site when she starts talking to me again. She goes on to show me a bunch of tricks on my ipod touch. End of interaction, I head to a different spot. I say what’s up to a few people on my way.

I walk into one of the usual clubs and it is packed. Apparently it is “bartenders ball” night and as I walk in I confirm this with a guy standing around. We chat a bit then I just walk around the club. I didn’t approach anyone even though it was as busy as it would be on Saturday night. I felt that since it was “bartenders night” everyone was friends with each other and it would be way too weird if I just started doing my thing. End of night.

Even though this was an excellent opportunity lost, I realized a major negative thought pattern from this. My underlying thoughts were that I was not cool enough, not a good enough guy to just start interacting with the people there. Now that I am becoming more aware of these patterns I can override them by taking action. Not that everything is fixed now, but instead of having this invisible fear inside me when I get inside a venue I am now more aware of where that fear is coming from and am able to take action to gradually reduce it and prove I am good enough.

Girls Approached: 1
Goals Met:
1. Yes
2. No
3. No
4. No

Day 19 – Tuesday, Jan 17

Greek girl and I are supposed to meet up at 9pm. I get there around nine, walk in and there are like 4 other guys sitting in this decent sized bar/lounge. The music isn’t loud so essentially there are 4 guys drinking by themselves, not talking to anyone, watching die hard without any sound. Awesome environment! Greek girl doesn’t show for about 15 minutes. I’m about to leave and check out some other spots, but she calls me and tells me she is on the way. We meet up; talk for about 10 minutes, and I convince her to go to another spot with more people. We drive to the other spot and talk for about 40 minutes.

Throughout the conversation we were pretty close to each other, and I maintained some massive eye contact. A major challenge with this situation was she hardly spoke any English and on the whole was pretty boring (at least conversation wise), so half the stuff I say either doesn’t register or she doesn’t know how to say anything back. In addition she won’t maintain eye contact or smile that much so it was really hard for me to gauge “where I was at”. I ask her if she has a boyfriend back in Greece, she says yes and they have been together for about 1 year, but then she says something like “I have no regrets”. I couldn’t quite understand what she said. She immediately asks me if I have a girlfriend, I say “no, not yet. I moved here about a month ago and am meeting new people”. At one point in the interaction I ask her if she know what the word cute means, no, beautiful?, no, pretty, yes. She asks me “what?, what is pretty?”, I say “I think you are pretty” she smiles and looks embarrassed. At this point I’m trying to ramp things up. We leave the venue after another 15 minutes.

As we are walking to my car I claw her in for about 3 seconds. When we arrive at her spot I want to go in for the kiss, but can’t find the courage to just pull her over to me. What ends up happening is I put my arm on the back of her seat, give her some massive eye contact and tell her “I think you are very pretty”. She has a big smile while I’m saying this and I can feel she is waiting for something. I tell her we should meet up again, she agrees. As she gets out of the car she is still looking at me with a big smile on her face, I say goodbye and head out. This girl is pry late 20’s early 30’s, and a decent 7.

Goals Met:
1. Yes
2. No
3. Yes
4. Yes

Day 21 – Thursday, Jan 19

I’m supposed to meet Greek girl at this bar around 9:30. I get there around 9:45, she is not there, and hardly anyone in the bar. I tell the woman bar tending that I’m just waiting, she doesn’t understand, then I tell her I’ll just have a water (I rarely drink alcohol). Then she is like “I’ll get you a water, but we don’t allow loitering”, I’m like wtf and literally feel shocked by this (never had this happen before). I tell her that I’m waiting for someone, but for a few minutes this sets me off in a negative spiral. I’m thinking “the bar is empty, I’m not homeless, wtf is your problem?!”, then I slowly realize I keep feeding these negative thoughts and make the decision to stop.

After about 15 minutes more still no Greek girl. I make the decision that I’ll stay here the remainder of the night in case she does show (chode hope) and while I’m waiting try and chat with the guy next to me. I tell him a few things, but he doesn’t care or isn’t into it, and proceeds to sit by himself and watch TV. At about 10:10 the bar starts to fill up with a few locals. Around 10:20 I’m saying to myself “fuck it, this night is done”, I feel disappointed about being stood up. At 10:22 Greek girl walks in, tells me her phone died, and she wants me to meet her sister. On a side note here: I can’t tell if this girl is straight up weird or if it’s more the language barrier. Meeting her sister consisted of me standing by the car as she opened the door and waved. We go back into the bar, buy a fucking cranberry juice for Greek girl (in your no-loitering face bartender!!, $1 cranberry juice) and talk for a good hour. I had a fun time with this girl and shared some laughs. As I took her back to her sister’s place, I asked her if she was a good kisser, but she didn’t understand and that was that.

Bottom Line: My interaction with Greek girl really gave me some insight into my sticking points. 1) Start the physical escalation early, the longer you wait the WAY more weird/unnatural it is. 2) I can be myself when interacting with girls. 3) I must be the one to lead things and generate the fun. 4) I have a lot to improve on.

Did I already know these things? YES, but like I said, I have to get these things internalized through failure. I had a pretty sweet time with this girl, and it was literally my first day 2/3 with a girl from cold approach. One thing I was really able to improve upon was getting aroused when talking to this girl. I was able to appreciate things about this girl that turned me on.

Goals Met:
1. Yes
2. No
3. Yes
4. Yes

Day 23 – Sat, Jan 21

Headed into downtown Cleveland and got there around 11pm. The first spot I get into I walk in, and automatically get into a seated 2 set of girls at the bar. I’m very chill and just introduce myself, ask them what they are up to, short interaction. I immediately hit up a group of like 5 girls a few feet away and intro myself. It goes well, and one of the girls is like “hey, do you already know this guy?”, I am getting this a lot and don’t understand why…. Right after I open they do some shots and take pictures, then one of the guy friends comes over and stands between me and the girls, I move on. At the next spot I see a guy who comes there every week, intro myself and chat a bit, but he is a bit weird and doesn’t want to chat.

I don’t hit up anything right away and spend the rest of the night intermittently hitting up sets. As I’m leaving one spot this girl asks me if it was lame, then her friend sees me and is like “oh, we know this guy, we meet him from before”. After I realize I did approach these girls, the one I liked at the time was the one who opened me tonight. During the whole interaction the girl and I are holding eye contact and she is pretty cute. After about 5 seconds another one of her friends is like “I’m cold, if we’re doing something lets go inside”. I don’t do shit and tell them I’ll see them around.

At another venue I grind with this fatty to get myself into a sexual state, it helps a bit. As I’m dancing with this fatty another hot girl gives me this look of disgust, pretty funny. New venue, I’m dancing by myself this other girl (middle aged fatty) is like “am I in your dance space?”, we chat a bit. She didn’t want to invade my space, that’s funny.

As I hit up a few other sets I can’t establish a good rhythm and realize I’m in a weird funk. In some sets I get the immediate hook, others immediate blowouts. I am unable to hit things up hard.

Girls Approached: 10
Goals Met:
1. Yes
2. Yes
3. Yes
4. No