THE FORUMS

Day 11 – Monday

When I took my first bootcamp I told my parents about RSD, they didn’t think it was all bad but were pretty skeptical. My mom was sad that I thought I needed such extreme measures. Last night I tell my mom that I’m doing the 30 day challenge and posting it up online, I can tell she doesn’t know how to take this.

I hit up this punk rock bar and grab a seat at the far end because I’m nervous and don’t want to take immediate action. There is a decently cute girl sitting by herself right next to me but I proceed to spend 5 minutes pretending to do stuff on my phone. I know I must approach this girl and this is getting me worked up. I open with some dumb shit, more nervous than when I walked in. It turns out she hardly speaks any English and is from Greece (leaving for home in 2 weeks). We try to understand each other but what ends up happening is I decide to just say stuff I want to say, show her pictures of my long hair and the trails I hiked. I pay more attention to appreciating her and I feel aroused. After a bit of confusion we both walk out of the bar, more confusion. I say we should hang out again but she says “I don’t have your number”, so I give it to her. We part ways and I send her a text that night.

This interaction was a bit of a rollercoaster for me. I hesitated in the approach, then maintained strong eye contact, got frustrated that she couldn’t understand me (my words), gave up trying to communicate with words and just talked about things with good tonality and energy. Towards the end I was becoming more comfortable with this interaction and could tell she felt this change in my vibe.

I realize a bit more how important going straight for the approach is. Hesitating makes things much more weird and uncomfortable. Another big thing I am beginning to see is that my brain doesn’t give too much of a shit about thoughts, it wants to see this identity change through the actions I take. Very similar to Tyler’s vid on “proof that you won’t die” but on a more subtle level. My brain needs to go through the process of getting the number, kiss, bj, whatever before it will allow me to become that guy. All I need to do is give it evidence that I will (not can) do this. To do that I must go out and make those reference experiences.

Girls Approached: 1
Goals Met:
1. Yes
2. Yes
3. Yes
4. Yes

Day 13 – Wednesday, Jan 11

Before I go out I send the greek girl I met on Monday a text that I’m going out and she should join me. I shave and take a shower. She calls me while I’m in the shower, I call back and leave her a message. I go out, come back, and meditate. She sends me a text at like 12am saying “Excuse me..i had to take care of the baby. I will go out tomorrow (Thurs) after 8:30. I would like to go to a bar near home. If you want send me a message.” Today (Thurs) I sent her a text that we should meet up at so and so, not heard anything back, but going out regardless of course.

Went out and found a place that had a decent amount of people in it. I take a seat and order a water. After a few minutes a guy sits next to me, the bar tender know him and chats with him a bit. I turn, introduce myself and intermittently talk with this guy. We I talk about work and boring stuff, then I tell him about washing my car. It wasn’t a long conversation but it wasn’t something I was completely comfortable with and put myself out there (if even only a little). That was all my night consisted of.

Girls Approached: 0
Goals Met:
1. Yes
2. No
3. No
4. No

Day 14 – Thursday, Jan 12

Head into downtown and there is virtually no one out. I walk into one place, two couples talking. I don’t even try and talk to them, I hit up a few other spots but with the same result. As I’m leaving I decide to at least look for some more spots, and boom I find a whole section of bars/shops that I didn’t know about. Awesome find.

This was by far one of my least productive nights for a couple of reasons. First off is I was not comfortable engaging people in a bar with only like 2 people in it. Second, the greek girl that wanted to go out bailed on me. Lastly I can feel over the past couple of days I’m hitting a plateau/going backwards in terms of momentum and going outside my comfort zone.

However, this is what I’m starting to love about the 30 day challenge; that I am constantly confronted with my chode attitudes and beliefs. The easiest way I can explain the benefit of facing these challenges is this: I know I have committed myself to this challenge and lifestyle. I know I don’t want to spend the rest of my nights sulking about feeling scared, so I MUST step up. I’m becoming more aware of when I start slipping into this negative mindset. It’s uncomfortable and usually results in some intense “self talk” but it is a sure sign of progress and moving out of my old thoughts.

Girls Approached: 0
Goals Met:
1. Yes
2. No
3. No
4. No

I had another dream about picking up girls. I was with a friend and approached this hired gun (9) who wasn't reacting to me at all. I kept my cool and told her she was cute, all the while maintaining massive eye contact. I saw here again in the dream and approached with the same icy-ness, it went well. Remembering it now, it literally feels like a real life approach. In another segment of my dream I was at a restaurant eating and opened a girl sitting next to me. It was a blow out and she told me she was going to "find Larry", so as she left I started chanting Larry! Larry! then everyone in the restaurant started chanting.

I believe this is scientific evidence that my brain is becoming a pimp. :)

Day 16 – Saturday, Jan 14 (1/2)

Meet up with guy who took a bootcamp a while back. We had meet up for new years and already knew the level of experience we were at. Weekends are really awesome when the places are packed. The places were packed. It’s like all those days when there would be no more than 10 people in a bar gives you a drive to take the opportunities you are given. On the weekends there are like 100x more opportunities given to you.

Bottom Line: Hooked the vast majority of my sets, and was able to get a good interaction going.  Having trouble escalating and taking things to the next level.

*Start my night by going to the same low key spot. It’s pretty sweet to have a wing, not only will your friend occupy one of the friends and allow better isolation, but when you are out of set we can have our own fun and make challenges for each other.

Blowouts:
These blowouts happened at various times during the night, some when I was caring less than others. Overall though I find blowouts aren’t even “painful” it’s more like a detour sign, it’s like a challenge to see if I can keep my cool during whatever shit happens and not let it affect me.

Approach a girl in a group of 6 other girls. I spin her around to face me, tell her she is cute, she is into it. We talk for like 10 more seconds then the friends are having none of this. The leader is like “ok, bye now, bye, whatever you're offering we don't want”, thinking this is funny I tell her "but it's only $5.99".  Then another girl joins in with “bye, leave, etc”. I say that the girl I approached is getting married to me and I already have the ring. Randomly another girl from the group brings out this ice bucket that these guys had their drinks in and tells me to take it. I’m like “wtf, no…”. The girls are still telling me to leave, I don’t. They proceed to put the ice from the bucket down my shirt, all the while I’m laughing and thinking this is nuts. End of interaction.
See three girls talking to each other in the hallway. I walk up to them and get their attention with “hey!”. All their attention is on me, I tell them “I have a big dick”. All three of them screech really loud, and say something I don’t remember. I immediately tell them “yea, I’ve been taking ExtenZe for the past month”. They screech really loud again when I say this, very funny. At this point I think I intro myself, but they can’t take the hilarity and scurry away.
See a cute girl dancing, go from behind her put her hips on my crotch and start dancing. The girl is completely freaked out and jumps away. I immediately go up to her and try and alleviate the situation, but it was too much of a shock. I had done this before the last week with great success, so I thought I’d try it out again. I was like “shit, why not?”.
I’m on the street trying to stop some girls. I walk in front of them, put my hand out like a traffic officer, and tell them to stop. The girls don’t stop but one tells me “no, you stop”, it was funny.