THE FORUMS

Day 3 – Sun
Did some day game with a friend and number closed a decent girl after about 10-15 minutes, it was a solid interaction. As I was leaving I texted her that I hope I see her again (she lived in a different city) and she was like “yea me too, it was nice meeting you”. Go out that night, but it is not as packed as previously and this throws me. I walk around the venues doing fist bumps with some girls, have a brief dance off with a few guys and head home.
Girls Approached: 5
Goals Met:
1. Yes
2. Yes
3. No
4. No

Day 4 - Monday, Jan 2, 2012
Went out at like 9:30pm and the first place I hit up was almost empty. There was a table to like 3 girls and 3 guys but they left after like 15 min. As I sit down I say “what’s up” to a guy on right. There is a guy sitting by himself on my left, after I order a water I ask how his new years was, brief conversation. I pretend to watch the football game and think about asking this guy if he has any recommendations for bars on the week nights.

After about 3 minutes of thinking, getting a bit nervous, I ask him. He goes on and tells me a bunch of places, then he starts telling me about the history of Cleveland, pretty crazy stuff I never knew. We talk for about an hour about history, economics, and ufc/fighting. As I’m about to leave he mentions how he could talk a bunch about health, I’m like hell ya, and tell him a brief outline of the warrior diet. All in all we were having some pretty thought provoking conversations for meeting some random guy. I head out around 11pm and can’t go to sleep until like 2am.

Girls Approached: 0
Goals Met:
1. Yes
2. No
3. No
4. No

Day 6 – Wed
As I was going out I got pretty damn nervous as usual, but as I was driving over to the bars I was like “chill out dude, wtf”. It wasn’t like I suddenly was all pimp, but in a few moments I realized that I had been getting myself way too hyped up about going out. I became somewhat chill and comfortable with the fact that I was going out. I knew that even if I didn’t talk to anyone I would still be able to have a good time and make progress.

I hit up a few spots and make small talk with a few people. I don’t do any direct approaches, but slowly felt my internal state start to increase. As I was sitting at a bar this girl was talking about how she told her parents she had so much sex.  I thought that was amusing.

What’s really interesting is that after Tuesday night (when I did some extreme self talk) I am very aware of when I’m acting like a pussy. It’s like whenever/wherever I am (work, home, car) and start to fear something, or care too much about what people think, I’m thinking “stop being a pussy, at least be a man”. There is an automatic response that says “It doesn’t bother me if you suck, just don’t keep being a pussy”.

Girls Approached: 2
Goals Met:
1. Yes
2. No
3. No
4. No

I can tell I’m getting much more comfortable going out, I’m feeling much more grounded, unmovable. I am feeling more connected to the people I’m around as opposed to “some guy that does his pick up thing”.  What has really taken some getting used to is the energy of the venues during the weeknights. It is very similar to day game in that people are just chillin, doing their own thing, and there are only a few sets around. This is opposed to weekends in the club were everything is loud, crowded, stimulating, and intense.

The first few days were like “oh yea, going to do my pick up thing, go nuts, and maybe never see these people again!”. Then I hit the weeknights and it was like “back to reality fucker, you can’t approach 15 different girls in the same venue, you have to stop being a pussy and hit it up the few opportunities IF they are there”. Weeknights seem much more about generating state from within, knowing you’re a good dude, and socializing.

Recap of my goals:
1. Go out every night for at least 30 min
2. At the start of the night go into situations just to get proof that you “won’t get killed”, be very aware of the RAS and how it finds reasons not to approach because it thinks you could get killed. Tyler’s vid on “Social Momentum”
3. Go in and put your real self out there. “Real Man’s Blowout”
4. Go in knowing that you are having sex with this girl, even if you aren’t aroused notice things about her that you like

Day 9 - Saturday
Went out around 10:45 and was pretty tired. I usually do a meditation/visualization of my goals and feelings while I’m in the parking lot before I go in. I hit up the low energy spots first. Being tired forces me into a chill/peaceful headspace, which kept my anxiety down but didn’t allow for quick wit or fun energy vibes. I briefly chat with one guy as I walk in, it was flowing pretty well, hadn’t been able to do this before. Then I chat (not approach) with a seated girl about random stuff, she is really into it/me. Her guy friend comes, I meet him, chat with him a bit then leave.

The other places I hit up don’t have many people yet so I chatted with guys that looked lower or equal value as me. Haha, this showed me that I didn’t consider myself as having much value because one guy was very fat, was in trouble with the law, and in general weird. I told him I was trying my luck with the ladies and pointed out a very sexy one in a group (about 5 feet away). I go and open her direct, feeling pretty chill. Immediately she is scanning my eyes and as I change the topic my mind flinches. I tell her about my 30 day challenge, which she says is weird. It's going ok, then the fat dude feels inspired or some shit, goes in and tries talking to one of the friends. End of set. I leave and hit up a different girl 5 feet away, polite blowout.  Hit up other places, blowouts.

I approach a girl with her friend, the cute one shit tests me at first, passed. After talking about stuff I like in a relaxed manner the cute girl is really into me. They tell me they are both single (hm, is this a hint…. Yes). I don’t do anything physical after we meet. Then I tell them lets go to the dance floor……, and let them lead the way. The cute one is still reengaging me in conversation but I can tell I’m pussing out and eject. I hit up some various other places but it is all blowouts, me being a pussy, or trying high energy things even though I’m not feeling like it at all.

Towards the end of the night I spin this girl around, tell her she is cute, and have my arms around her waist as we are right in each other’s face talking. The two friends are like “do you know this guy?” but she is still focused on me. I puss out and break the tension by saying, “no, I have no idea who she is”. I briefly meet one friend, but the other one isn’t having any of it and drags them off. I was somewhat pissed because I knew I could have at least made out with that girl.

One girl I approached was super cute and sexy, it started off well and she told me it was her birthday. I didn’t take the interaction anywhere and left. About ten minutes later I walk by the same girl and watch as about 4 different guys try and pick her up. They don’t do anything physical, but some are making the girl laugh more than others. It was very cool to see how “normal” guys went at it.

Throughout the night I couldn't get into a rhythm and gave only 75% effort. As a result I couldn't get completely out of my head and felt neutral, not bad or good just neutral. I am trying the same style of approaches I did last night, but since my headspace is completely opposite it’s not working. Of course, I realize this only after my night is over. 

Girls Approached: 10-15
Goals Met:
1. Yes
2. Somewhat
3. Somewhat
4. No