THE FORUMS
True. Going out and meeting new girls gets rid of all oneitis, social anxiety, awkwardness,and other things for me. I think for some people social anxiety/akwardness is in part caused by like a mistiming or complete lack of social expressions and functions at a certain time caused by lack of experience socializing or not having any "social momemtum". Also in part caused by complexes and issues in a person that can be gotten rid of. These things create emotions in others and yourself thus creating certain actions in yourself and others,etc. For me the benefits of going out are temporary though. If I don't go out for some time these "feelings" arise again.
But I do believe that you can get to a point when you don't need to go out to always feel great and be rid of these "needy feelings". I think it's just a choice you make to let go. I think that what that "choice to let go" equals is "a type of emotion". But that "emotion/state of being" is an "unknown". Thus because of "homeostasis thing in humans,comfort zone,etc" people cant deal or dont want to live in that unknown state. But like Julien said accept the unknown and like I said I will throw myself into that mofo. I think it's just a choice you make to let go. RSDNathan said that experiences are just emotions and that made alot of sense to me. Thus I know that everyone has different reference points/experiences in life and that repertoire of experiences probably might make it possible for some to do certain things like makes choices lilke letting go that others with different references points cant do. It's up to each of us to figure out what we need like a bootcamp,etc. Which makes me think that there is more to "choices" than "meets the eye". IM NOT SAYING THAT GOING OUT IS NOT NEEDED. Ofcourse you've got to go out. Thats how you "build your game", get reference experiences, and that's how youll meet billions of girls
I understand that OP is talking about the context of you've already interacted with this girl for quite abit and are feeling "needy". So in that context the person needs to make the choice to let go or "pull the needle out" because in a that "needy state" the probabilities of closing the girl are not very high. Implying to completely seperate oneself from the girl=one way of pulling needle out of arm. Cool thread. Good Luck everyone.
A+
But I do believe that you can get to a point when you don't need to go out to always feel great and be rid of these "needy feelings". I think it's just a choice you make to let go. I think that what that "choice to let go" equals is "a type of emotion". But that "emotion/state of being" is an "unknown". Thus because of "homeostasis thing in humans,comfort zone,etc" people cant deal or dont want to live in that unknown state. But like Julien said accept the unknown and like I said I will throw myself into that mofo. I think it's just a choice you make to let go. RSDNathan said that experiences are just emotions and that made alot of sense to me. Thus I know that everyone has different reference points/experiences in life and that repertoire of experiences probably might make it possible for some to do certain things like makes choices lilke letting go that others with different references points cant do. It's up to each of us to figure out what we need like a bootcamp,etc. Which makes me think that there is more to "choices" than "meets the eye". IM NOT SAYING THAT GOING OUT IS NOT NEEDED. Ofcourse you've got to go out. Thats how you "build your game", get reference experiences, and that's how youll meet billions of girls
I understand that OP is talking about the context of you've already interacted with this girl for quite abit and are feeling "needy". So in that context the person needs to make the choice to let go or "pull the needle out" because in a that "needy state" the probabilities of closing the girl are not very high. Implying to completely seperate oneself from the girl=one way of pulling needle out of arm. Cool thread. Good Luck everyone.
Just remember. Whenever you get that feeling in your gut of anxiety or nervousness when that girl won't text you or call you back, that's your needy alarm going way the fuck off. Take it easy. Take a step back. Don't bother with her for a week or two. Go live your life. She'll come back to you if she likes you. She'll notice you being busy or 'high valued'. Girls like that shit. They don't like a stage 5 clinger.
Sums it all up. If you get that anxious feeling, then you need to go out and get more female contacts. A+
__________________
"No one can be told what the matrix is you have to see it for yourself.....There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path."
"It is not enough to know YOU MUST DO" -Bruce Lee ; "I do and I understand"- Confuscious (Got that from Jeffy show hehe)
"Every sentence written or spoken,action, everything in the universe can be a rabbit hole to master" Me
"Don't take this too serious or be serious out there. It can work against you.GO OUT TO CLUBS,PARTIES,ETC. Relax, have fun, have "sucess with women".Trust in the process.Trust in the time you put in. 'Be positive always'. Focus on "the positive" and you will learn faster. Obviously the more time you put in the better and faster the learning and result will be.Trust in the knowledge you're aplying because the 'RSD/PUA knowledge' is probably the 'best truth' we have today.The process is fun and everlasting
." I think this is true
"A woman can feel a similar powerful emotional and physical response that's similar to the one we feel when we see an attractive woman.....A woman can feel that in response to something....Okay instead of trying to logically convince a woman to feel attracted.They must 'trigger it'...'Personality' is the primary way that attraction is 'triggered inside of women' " David D! Best of wishes to you sir wherever U R.
"Never put any girl on a pedestal no matter what anyone else thinks. Don't 'be' , 'think' and 'feel' like ' they ' ( 'chodes' ) do. Be 'comfortable' with them around you because you 'know why they are like that.' Never be in that ' 'chode' headspace' "
"Always have Abundance mentality. 1.Alot of girls will always like you. The more you meet the more will like you.Always have freedom from outcome 2. You can have the exact same great connection with many many girls. There is nothing special about any girl and connection you made with her. Fuck and forget "everything" about society,social conditioning,songs,media,movies that go against abundance mentality"
"Never-attach-too-much-meaning to interactions with girls for example if you like a girl always go for her phone number" ; "MOVEMENT IS LIFE" RSDNathan
"Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water.After enlightenment,chop wood and carry water." Ancient Eastern Adage
PROCESS!PROCESS! "Build it as well" ; "You're already living the "dreamlife". Some of you just don't realize it" I think this is true.
"Everything is a learning experience"
"The guys that get humor. Learned it from books" Jeffty AKA JLAIX
"It is not enough to know YOU MUST DO" -Bruce Lee ; "I do and I understand"- Confuscious (Got that from Jeffy show hehe)
"Every sentence written or spoken,action, everything in the universe can be a rabbit hole to master" Me
"Don't take this too serious or be serious out there. It can work against you.GO OUT TO CLUBS,PARTIES,ETC. Relax, have fun, have "sucess with women".Trust in the process.Trust in the time you put in. 'Be positive always'. Focus on "the positive" and you will learn faster. Obviously the more time you put in the better and faster the learning and result will be.Trust in the knowledge you're aplying because the 'RSD/PUA knowledge' is probably the 'best truth' we have today.The process is fun and everlasting
." I think this is true "A woman can feel a similar powerful emotional and physical response that's similar to the one we feel when we see an attractive woman.....A woman can feel that in response to something....Okay instead of trying to logically convince a woman to feel attracted.They must 'trigger it'...'Personality' is the primary way that attraction is 'triggered inside of women' " David D! Best of wishes to you sir wherever U R.
"Never put any girl on a pedestal no matter what anyone else thinks. Don't 'be' , 'think' and 'feel' like ' they ' ( 'chodes' ) do. Be 'comfortable' with them around you because you 'know why they are like that.' Never be in that ' 'chode' headspace' "
"Always have Abundance mentality. 1.Alot of girls will always like you. The more you meet the more will like you.Always have freedom from outcome 2. You can have the exact same great connection with many many girls. There is nothing special about any girl and connection you made with her. Fuck and forget "everything" about society,social conditioning,songs,media,movies that go against abundance mentality"
"Never-attach-too-much-meaning to interactions with girls for example if you like a girl always go for her phone number" ; "MOVEMENT IS LIFE" RSDNathan
"Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water.After enlightenment,chop wood and carry water." Ancient Eastern Adage
PROCESS!PROCESS! "Build it as well" ; "You're already living the "dreamlife". Some of you just don't realize it" I think this is true.
"Everything is a learning experience"
"The guys that get humor. Learned it from books" Jeffty AKA JLAIX
Good post, this is applicable when you know that you have a chance of seeing the girl again, I.e social circle,extended social circle or frequent the same venues... Not so much with cold approaches. Here is a little gem you might like.
Use Absence to Increase Respect and Honor
Too much circulation makes the price go down: The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear. If you are already established in a group, temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired. You must learn when to leave. Create value through scarcity.
Use Absence to Increase Respect and Honor
Too much circulation makes the price go down: The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear. If you are already established in a group, temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired. You must learn when to leave. Create value through scarcity.
__________________
Read bonneys blog: http://www.rsdnation.com/william-h-bonney/blog
Great post dude...
__________________
Thanks for the replies everyone. I seldomly come here to check posts but, I'm really busy / learned all I really need to about women so I don't frequent.
What I will say, is this - I said it in the main post and I'll say it again. If a woman wants to hang out with you, she will. If not, find one that will. I hung out with a girl last night, just went for coffee. By her vibe I could tell she was uncomfortable. She came back to my place (I have a rule where I don't go for the fuck on the first date. To me, that's coming off as a sleazebag. Second date is where it's at). We're just chilling on my bed. She wouldn't lay down. I even said, "eh, come here", and she's like, "I'm fine right here". We madeout for a bit but that was it. When she left, we hugged and kissed.
I texted her today, knowing she probably just wasn't interested because she wouldn't even lay down beside me. I said..
Me: Morning, glad we hung out last night.
Her: Morning! Yah same.
Me: Totes. Let's do it again next week, i'll come there.
Her: Yahh maybe i'll have to see what I'm working
In my eyes, her last response usually means, "I'm not interested, sorry". I know this. I've been down this road. I could push for it, engaging her by phoning her and shit but, I could care less. If a girl is interested, you don't need to try hard.
Usually a needy dude would be like, "alright.. so... what are you up to today??", "alright.. so, wanna do wednesday next week?". Nah man. I'm not like that. I'll probably throw her a text on sunday night just saying, "I'm free x night or y night. which is best for u?", and leave it at that. If she doesn't respond, I don't ever text her again, unless she texts me. That's a mother fucking golden rule. Also, when I text, I literally just get to the point without adding fluff or being needy. One that works perfectly which I use all the time is this:
"Next week, you + me = movie." - that's it. After she responds just say, "I'm free x night or y night. what's best for you.".
My buddy (let's call him... achilles. lol), says the same thing. He's banged a lot of hot girls, and says the same thing everytime. "I have a two strike rule. If she flakes on me the first time, that's fine. Regardless if it's a mistake or intentional, I don't care. But if it happens a second time, I stop contacting them. Period. If she wants to see me, she'll make it happen."
^ Non-needy approach to women. Do it up.
What I will say, is this - I said it in the main post and I'll say it again. If a woman wants to hang out with you, she will. If not, find one that will. I hung out with a girl last night, just went for coffee. By her vibe I could tell she was uncomfortable. She came back to my place (I have a rule where I don't go for the fuck on the first date. To me, that's coming off as a sleazebag. Second date is where it's at). We're just chilling on my bed. She wouldn't lay down. I even said, "eh, come here", and she's like, "I'm fine right here". We madeout for a bit but that was it. When she left, we hugged and kissed.
I texted her today, knowing she probably just wasn't interested because she wouldn't even lay down beside me. I said..
Me: Morning, glad we hung out last night.
Her: Morning! Yah same.
Me: Totes. Let's do it again next week, i'll come there.
Her: Yahh maybe i'll have to see what I'm working
In my eyes, her last response usually means, "I'm not interested, sorry". I know this. I've been down this road. I could push for it, engaging her by phoning her and shit but, I could care less. If a girl is interested, you don't need to try hard.
Usually a needy dude would be like, "alright.. so... what are you up to today??", "alright.. so, wanna do wednesday next week?". Nah man. I'm not like that. I'll probably throw her a text on sunday night just saying, "I'm free x night or y night. which is best for u?", and leave it at that. If she doesn't respond, I don't ever text her again, unless she texts me. That's a mother fucking golden rule. Also, when I text, I literally just get to the point without adding fluff or being needy. One that works perfectly which I use all the time is this:
"Next week, you + me = movie." - that's it. After she responds just say, "I'm free x night or y night. what's best for you.".
My buddy (let's call him... achilles. lol), says the same thing. He's banged a lot of hot girls, and says the same thing everytime. "I have a two strike rule. If she flakes on me the first time, that's fine. Regardless if it's a mistake or intentional, I don't care. But if it happens a second time, I stop contacting them. Period. If she wants to see me, she'll make it happen."
^ Non-needy approach to women. Do it up.
This is absolute gold. The fastest way to "get good with girls" is to realize that girls have nothing you do not already have. But if you do not believe that, you will have to walk the journey until you realize that. It is that simple. Then your definition of "good with girls" will change fundamentally. You will see how much pain men are actually causing women and themselves on a day to day basis by believing that women hold something you need. Like a great treasure. You are that treasure. Start taking action from that place. Nothing will make you complete. You are already complete, right here and now. Your "guilty secret" about not beeing "good" with girls is nothing. Open your eyes.
__________________
thejourneyisnow.org
"There is no world apart from what you wish, and herein lies your ultimate release.
Change but your mind on what you want to see, and all the world must change accordingly." - A Course in Miracles
thejourneyisnow.org
"There is no world apart from what you wish, and herein lies your ultimate release.
Change but your mind on what you want to see, and all the world must change accordingly." - A Course in Miracles
Great post bro this is something I really needed to read. I just started doing pickup and so far im doing alright on approaching, self amusement, leading, isolating, and closing but when it comes to text game im horrible and ill have that needy feeling if the girl doesnt text back.
good one.
yes.
yes.
I think some guys misundersood some things from this really good thread... This is not, at least from my point, some technique or smth. Just the way of making yourself a better man on all aspects of life.. Not a technique that "works" on girls and that you should try it out and shit like that.. I mean, c`mon :)
__________________
There are no lesbians.. Just women, who never met me :)
Read my thoughts about social dynamics, interactions and everything there is, on: http://www.rsdnation.com/naturaltine/blog
Read my thoughts about social dynamics, interactions and everything there is, on: http://www.rsdnation.com/naturaltine/blog
OP, Awesome post!
ChinaBoy
This is absolute gold. The fastest way to "get good with girls" is to realize that girls have nothing you do not already have. But if you do not believe that, you will have to walk the journey until you realize that. It is that simple. Then your definition of "good with girls" will change fundamentally. You will see how much pain men are actually causing women and themselves on a day to day basis by believing that women hold something you need. Like a great treasure. You are that treasure. Start taking action from that place. Nothing will make you complete. You are already complete, right here and now. Your "guilty secret" about not beeing "good" with girls is nothing. Open your eyes.
Agreed Garey :)ChinaBoy
__________________
jaescobe22
Junior Member
Join Date: 03/18/2009 | Posts: 18