THE FORUMS

August 14th, 2018
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UtopiaFive

UtopiaFive

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/16/2008 | Posts: 4960

PART 2:
1: What can you offer a woman?

A different world.  A breath of fresh air.  The presence of a man whose opinions are more important to him than the opinions of random fucks.  The certainty of a guy who allows and looks for the uncertainty, whose let his reality break down and reform itself over and over again.  

A guy who can listen.  

A guy to laugh with.  A guy to laugh at.  

And a guy who fucks her good.  

Someone to chase.  Someone to confuse the fuck out of her.  

A guy who will put her in her place if she gets out of line.  A leader, a closer more intimate set of rules, expectations, world to live in.  (Rather than living under society, she can live under me if that makes sense.)  

Someone to stand up for her in a real way.  Someone to be real with.  





2: Why should a woman choose you?

I have good taste.  
I have fun.  
I don't want other peoples' validation but instead give her and make her feel validation.  
I'm "patient" and don't live in this state of constant anxiety day to day.  
I'm not constrained by the world, by other people's opinions, by what anyone else thinks is real or is possible.  Only by me.  And I KNOW this on a deep level.  
I'm actually a pretty good guy.  
I fully understand that NOTHING MATTERS and so this really does allow me to do things that are in the last 10% of what even really cool guys typically will do w a girl.  
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roadrally

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Join Date: 10/12/2009 | Posts: 1922

Bro just want to say, I relate to that last post you made too. I fluctuate between feeling driven/motivated and feeling lost at sea for the past couple weeks.

I guess my advice to me and you... These are just emotions, experience them and whatever they are swirly whirly things. You already have a course of action (out everyday for a year) so just stick to it and ride this out.
__________________
I just want to enjoy amazing girls. Crazy what sort of journey ive embarked on pursuing this quest.

My adventures in Dallas - 2013
 My adventures in Austin - 2012 
  Tyler/Julien, Honolulu Bootcamp July 2011 Tyler hotseat2 x5 (2011-2012) Alex hotseat x2 (2013)
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Doge~

Doge~

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Join Date: 09/19/2007 | Posts: 3689

You know it's interesting. A few years ago, I would've asked the same questions to myself, in some vain attempt at developing some sort of strong reality or trying to define reasons that make me attractive.

What I realize now is that ultimately you're asking the wrong questions. To ask something like, "Why would a woman choose me?" is to approach it from a very reactive standpoint. Instead, ask yourself from a more proactive position.

"What makes me an awesome human being?" or "What makes me a good individual?"

Divorce the external world from your reasoning. This is important to developing core confidence. Confidence completely dependent upon your own personal level of integrity.

No more thinking, "What can I provide for her?" it should be, "What makes me so awesome that she would want to provide for me?"

You gotta flip that buyer/seller dynamic in your mind. Start believe in your value.

An example of a good answer would be, "I'm a hard working individual." "I have integrity in my words, emotions and actions." "I enjoy life, love joking about things and not taking things too seriously."

Value you. Not what you can do for others.
__________________
   Wow.
                   Such game.
Much improve.
                              So amaze.
                 Wow.
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UtopiaFive

UtopiaFive

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Join Date: 09/16/2008 | Posts: 4960

 PART 3

Last step of this exercise is to get some emotional leverage - Answer each question in 50 to 100 words:
1. Why do you need to get this issue handled?
Cuz as a dude who wants a LOT (And is willing to GIVE and DO the requisite shit to get there), variety with women, abundance of sex, fun, enjoying myself are the way I can help myself the most.  You have to stay healthy with eating and exercise, and sex is another CORE area to be on as well.  
I'm a 27yo fucking man -- there's no need to have fears and insecurities and bullshit like this lingering around this area of my life.  

2. What will you feel if this doesn’t happen, and you dont get this issue handled?
Kind of like a gimp, like a lameo, like I'd be forever a tryhard, etc.  

3. How will you change your limiting belief?
I guess "what I deserve" is the limiting belief.  Not fully 100,000% believing that I can get super hot, cool girls is the limiting belief.  Somehow acting as if I still need ANY validation from others, needing to justify anything to anyone else besides myself, etc.

What I'm doing now:
- going out every day
- hitting the gym and eating big to get big
- Miami bootcamp
- Alex bootcamp
- RSD summit
- probably even the hotseat deluxe + city hopping

What I need to START doing more of again:
- the introspective shit
- the reading shit

4. Imagine your self in the future, when you have this issue solved - If you from 2013, could talk to you of today, what would he say?

(i) As much as you go out, its only when you REALLY CHANGE WHO YOU ARE...by making a DECISION...that's when you'll see "results."  
(ii) You're right to still want to see what kinds of girls you "can" get with, but you have to first BELIEVE you "can" get with them.  ASSUMPTION.  ACT AS IF.  FEEL AS IF.  IMAGINE IT.  
(iii) Never let the negative emotions overwhelm you.  They'll come.  Over time, you'll see you can GO INTO THEM AND THEN GET THE FUCK OUT OF THEM.  Wash yourself in the HAPPY TOM once you're past a "mental block" that you're going to hit every so often.  
(iv) Don't sweat it.  Everything is going to be AIGHT.  Literally every day you're a better more cool more awesome dude.  Even when it feels you're going BACKWARDS its because you're revisiting some foundational assumptions.  When you act on the real world without those foundational assumptions, you're building more realisitc and also supportive assumptions, you might just not know it.  This isn't really a reframe here.  Its you seeing shit through your own eyes and not so much through the foreign set of bearings you'd been trusting in for so long.  
(v) Get excited.  You're just a year away from moving forward into new waters in the money/business/financial world.  Girls...that shit AINT NUTHIN.  Here you're dealing with EVERYONE not just the girl in your face.  :)
(vi) Do remember that YOU come first.  

5. What will change in your life when you do delete this limiting belief from you mind? and how will it make you feel?

- feel relieved
- feel like there is no weight or burder on my shoulders to "do" or to "perform" or to "try" and instead it will be a consistent "expression" and more "natural enthusiasm" and 

6. What kind of woman will appreciate the man you are, and things you have to offer?

- i do feel like the answer is 'all of them'
- naturally im inclined to say 'i tend to like women who are more physical-intimacy inclined' but i think thats just my limitation of being more verbally lazy so i still dont go with that
- naturally im also inclined to say 'i tend to like enthusiastic and smiley women' but agian i think thats my limitation of being more chill than sucking people into MY already smiley and enthusiastic world
- i also want to say 'women not immersed in some special cultural affairs or who are very religious' as i tend to not care about this shit at all...but here i just think that they definitely would APPRECIATE me its just that i'd introduce way too many conflicting emotions for them
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Cat

Cat

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Join Date: 12/03/2010 | Posts: 2303

Hey man.

Take a break from thinking about YOU so much and go outside and sit in nature and listen to some birds.

Pretty fucking serious.  You're clearly waaaay too in your head about your life.  Time to experience LIFE not "my self-consciousness of life".

Hope this helps / gives you some useful insight.  

Cheers man, want to see you keep owning.
-Cat
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PUA of the Future

PUA of the Future

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/05/2008 | Posts: 762

 Yo man for sure if you're going to be drinking...like AT ALL, there's no way you can go out for a year straight.  Just this morning while at work I was wondering why I had so much energy, because theoretically (in my mind) I SHOULDN"T have had that much energy because I didn't get too much sleep and it was early.  And then I was like...o yea...I have so much energy because I eat a great diet and I go to the gym every day...that's why...and that's why we do this shit.  Drinking at all would have killed that.

Have you read The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey?  I recently read just the first part and it completely changed my world and the way I see things and how I want to go about my days.  I'd definitely recommend it if you haven't..
__________________
Luck has nothing to do with it.

You decide what it contains.

The lay reports and analysis of my nights out in Denver:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/102567?page=40#comment-879488
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UtopiaFive

UtopiaFive

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Join Date: 09/16/2008 | Posts: 4960

Yeah, this is good, thanks man.  

Was just answering some questions that Madison said he found pretty useful.  
One of them seemed pretty good to me, mainly the one about "What would the future you from a year down the line tell your current self, when he had shit more handled?"
Haze~ wrote:

Value you. Not what you can do for others.

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UtopiaFive

UtopiaFive

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/16/2008 | Posts: 4960

Yeah, I guess I "understand that" and am still going out daily.  Today those feelings seem a bit less apparent, perhaps cuz I got laid, or more likely because I saw in myself "the more solid me" acting out in the real world (which led to the getting laid).  
roadrally wrote:
Bro just want to say, I relate to that last post you made too. I fluctuate between feeling driven/motivated and feeling lost at sea for the past couple weeks.

I guess my advice to me and you... These are just emotions, experience them and whatever they are swirly whirly things. You already have a course of action (out everyday for a year) so just stick to it and ride this out.
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UtopiaFive

UtopiaFive

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/16/2008 | Posts: 4960

Thanks man.  Yeah I actually did feel a bit better just standing around outside and walking around a bit while waiting for something before going out last night.  This is before I saw your "go to nature" post too.  

But yeah no doubt I'm going to get "in my head" at some points, as it is PRETTY DAMN CRAZY WHAT IM DOING.  :)  The belief that its not just a silly waste of time will creep back in, but its actually GOOD because then (i) I reconfirm my beliefs with even more strength, (ii) its the same thing that happens "in set" -- you know or think you're DOING THE RIGHT SHIT yet the self-doubt creeps in...and you must ERADICATE IT.  

But yeah I hear you.

--Tom
Cat wrote:
Hey man.

Take a break from thinking about YOU so much and go outside and sit in nature and listen to some birds.

Pretty fucking serious.  You're clearly waaaay too in your head about your life.  Time to experience LIFE not "my self-consciousness of life".

Hope this helps / gives you some useful insight.  

Cheers man, want to see you keep owning.
-Cat
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UtopiaFive

UtopiaFive

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/16/2008 | Posts: 4960

lol yup you know me, I hate to drink :)

unfortunately dates and sometimes pulling seems to require 'grabbing a drink' which I will accept for now.  would like to move toward my ideal of not drinking period but perfection is impossible...I'll settle for 'slow regular improvements'.  i may just not really do dates anymore which would cut out most of it.  
PUA of the Future wrote:
 Yo man for sure if you're going to be drinking...like AT ALL, there's no way you can go out for a year straight.  Just this morning while at work I was wondering why I had so much energy, because theoretically (in my mind) I SHOULDN"T have had that much energy because I didn't get too much sleep and it was early.  And then I was like...o yea...I have so much energy because I eat a great diet and I go to the gym every day...that's why...and that's why we do this shit.  Drinking at all would have killed that.

Have you read The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey?  I recently read just the first part and it completely changed my world and the way I see things and how I want to go about my days.  I'd definitely recommend it if you haven't..
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