THE FORUMS

December 10th, 2016
I'm a drunk bouncer. All the game I've been seeing from dudes in the club is fucking *SHIT*. Ask me Anything.
Your rating: None Average: 4.4 (16 votes)
Bookmark and Share

JustABouncer

Member

Join Date: 12/24/2011 | Posts: 42

I guess I should calm myself down. Use nicer words.  Adopt a more palatable vernacular.  But listen:

You people (KJs), for the most part, don't get what cold approach pickup looks like in nightclubs.

I spend EVERY NIGHT OF MY LIFE in a club, and it never ceases to amaze me.  I see guys getting blown out left and right, I see girls standing in the middle of a dance floor hoping someone will bang them, and I see chode crystals *I HATE CHODE CRYSTALS* orbiting around the club's perimeter like a sticky fungus.

Idiots pissed because some girl talked to him for a few minutes and now he went back to his friends.  Dudes on the sidelines of the club staring mouth agape at the dudes who actually DO come in and rock it (very FEW of whom ever even have money!).

I just want to help.  I want to offer value to a forum that's offered a lot of value to me for the past five or so years of my life (holy shit I'm a veteran at this point), and it seems there's such a lack of practical nightclub game knowledge on this forum.  So please, fine gentlemen of RSDn, ask me whatever the fuck you want to know about bouncing, nightclubs, cold approach in clubs, how to not get kicked out, how to get kicked out, whatever, and I'll answer.
Login or register to post.
#1

RSDNationer

Trusted Member

Join Date: 03/27/2009 | Posts: 2668

 I often get kicked out of clubs because I hit on a girl that happens to be a bouncer's girlfriend. Is there anyway I can save my ass from getting kicked out? (only reason I get kicked out of clubs)

What are good ways to befriend the bouncer so you can cut in line next time?

Do you actually remember regulars? JW cuz I was making out w/ a married chick the other week, her husband came and shoved me, and the bouncer who I seen there all the time jumped out of nowhere to tackle him to the ground.

Thanks.
__________________
 
Login or register to post.
#2
EvenR1990

EvenR1990

Member

Join Date: 11/14/2010 | Posts: 78

JustABouncer wrote:
I guess I should calm myself down. Use nicer words.  Adopt a more palatable vernacular.  But listen:

You people (KJs), for the most part, don't get what cold approach pickup looks like in nightclubs.

I spend EVERY NIGHT OF MY LIFE in a club, and it never ceases to amaze me.  I see guys getting blown out left and right, I see girls standing in the middle of a dance floor hoping someone will bang them.

You can add a lot of value by telling people what a good approach looks like to you.

Thanks.
__________________
 
Login or register to post.
#3

JustABouncer

Member

Join Date: 12/24/2011 | Posts: 42

SirKonstantine wrote:
 I often get kicked out of clubs because I hit on a girl that happens to be a bouncer's girlfriend. Is there anyway I can save my ass from getting kicked out? (only reason I get kicked out of clubs)

What are good ways to befriend the bouncer so you can cut in line next time?

Do you actually remember regulars? JW cuz I was making out w/ a married chick the other week, her husband came and shoved me, and the bouncer who I seen there all the time jumped out of nowhere to tackle him to the ground.

Thanks.
A:  Best option here is situational awareness on your part.  MIght not be easy in a clubby environment, but when you're hitting on a chick, try to take a peek around.  If you see a bouncer eyeballing you, he thinks you're being too creepy or you're hitting on his gf.  In either situation, frankness is necessary.  Walk up to the bouncer and be chill and ask him if everythings cool, if you did anything wrong.  If the bouncer says "you were creeping on those girls" or "that's my girl", don't argue, just be real cool and say "oh man sorry, I didn't know".  Take the guy out of bouncer mode where he has to deal with threats by showing him you're not a threat and bring him into bro-mode.  Once the adrenaline settles, ask him his name, be chill, etc.  Don't have him see you hitting on his chick again.  If you're cool about it, he'll probably be cool about it too.

If this doesn't work and the bouncer is just a fuckin douchebag (and douchebag bouncers there are many), be AS CHILL AS POSSIBLE when getting kicked out.  Don't try to talk your way back in, you shoulda done that when you noticed the bouncer staring at you.  After you're outside, apologize for any inconvenience you might have caused (even if they were just being pricks), ask their names, introduce yourself, and leave while wishing them good night.  In our world, 9 out of 10 people get aggressive or try to fight or act like assholes when we kick them out.  If someone gets kicked out but is really chill about it, we remember him and will even treat him extra nice next time he comes around (if he was like, just too fucked up and had to get out of the bar.  If he was going around molesting chicks, then he'd still have a problem).

B:  The prior advice is also good for becoming friends with bouncers, btw.  Anyway, on a busy night, befriending the bouncer comes primarily from making the bouncers job easier.  Move when he needs you to move.  A lot of people think bouncers powertrip, but the reason we boss people around is because of crazy strict fire regulations that can't have too many people in this hallway, or can only have a certain door used in certain hours/situations.  Don't make a mess of the place.  Face-recognition and social proof is big too, but hey, where isn't it a big part of making friends?

If you see a bouncer around more than once or twice and they don't look too busy, introduce yourself and make some small talk.  They might be cold, but realize that this is because you might be getting thrown out of the bar later and they don't want you to go out screaming "BUT I THOUGHT WE WERE HOOOMMMIIIIEEESSSS!!!".  That happened to me way too many times to count.  So after they know who you are, show them that you can handle your liquor.

After that, it just comes down to familiarity.  When the door guy does let you in in front of the line, ask him if he'll take a tip and tip him discreetly.  Some places don't give a fuck, but some places forbid their doorguys to take tips.  

Oh, also, remember that nightlife is a business revolving around value.  If you have value (girls, soft drugs like weed depending on state, cigarettes, money) and you can offer those things to the doorguy/bouncer, they're going to appreciate you and treat you nice.  Especially with girls.  I was watching the smoking patio and some dude came by and introduced me to his friend who's boyfriend had just broken up with her.  She gave me a blowjob later that night.  Dude gets free cover FOR LIFE because of that.

C:   It's going to depend on the place, but overall yeah.  How can we not?  Our job is to sit there, sober, all night, and look at people.  We remember regulars, and you better believe that if the more well-liked regulars get into shit with some idiot then that regular has a team of bouncers backing him up.  Also, clubs are about the experience.  Any good club will hire bouncers that know they need to play up the experience (i.e., remembering regulars, shaking their hands as they walk by, remembering them by name, etc).  Did you thank the bouncer after he grabbed the guy?  It's nice to know that if we were looking out for someone, it was appreciated.
Login or register to post.
#4

JustABouncer

Member

Join Date: 12/24/2011 | Posts: 42

Just the question I hoped to be asked!

Something you have to realize is that nightclubs are FILLED WITH CHODES.  The dudes who pull successfully are the 1%.  That's why it's so crazy to me when people on this forum think that if they did a few things slightly differently they'd have gotten a lay that night.  If you're going to be pulling straight from the club, you NEED TO BE that 1% (yeah, I'm sure there are some ninja pulls going on, but selection bias and whatnot).  Nothing is more frustrating to me than babysitting a chode crystal (remember, I have to overhear all the conversation).  Thirty fucking minutes of dudes with drinks in their hands trying to hype each other up with "Dude, she's hot.  Brad, go talk to her!  No YOU talk to her faggot" and so on and so forth.  It disgusts me.  You know what eventually happens?  Some dude, all by himself, goes up and talks to her.  Maybe she rejects him, maybe not.  But even if she does reject him, it's INFINITELLY less painful than the thirty minutes of psychological torture these dudes just inflicted on themselves.

So that's the thing.  If you want to talk to a chick.  Go TALK TO HER.  I have way more respect for the dude with no game that just goes around hitting on chicks all night than the dude who stands in the corner with a predatory look in his eye, trying to psych himself up to talk to a chick but never actually doing it.

So a good club pull:
Dude walks up to chick.  Confidently starts conversation with her.  Could be absolutely anything.  Maybe he makes her laugh.  Maybe she giggles and starts to walk away.
THATS FINE BECAUSE HE GOES UP TO THE NEXT HOT GIRL HE SEES AND STARTS A CONVERSATION.  Repeats the proccess.  They have fun.  He keeps it sexual.  Maybe they separate to buy a drink or go to the bathroom or something.  He finds her again.  Comfort conversation, but not TOO deep.  Deep drunk conversations are never real the next morning. You just want to find some shallow common ground.  Pulls her to his pad or an afterparty or gets the number.

WTF?  You say.  "That sounds textbook".  Yeah, it is.  That's the problem.  THERE IS SO MUCH FUCKING CHODERY IN NIGHTCLUBS.  Girls will stand there, in the middle of a bar, dressed in their best dresses, WAITING FOR A COOL DUDE TO COME UP.  You don't even ACTUALLY have to be cool.  PRETEND TO BE COOL.  I know plenty of scumbags that just act like they're the shit but its fun for the girls to think about banging him so they do.  DO NOT OPEN LIKE A PUSSY.  If you open indirect, it needs to be subcommunicated that you're only using it as a way to bring her into your reality.  If you walk up to a chick, walk up to her LIKE A MAN and demand attention.  I see SO many striped shirt dudes who meekly go up to a chick, wait for her to notice him, and meekly ask to buy them a drink.  Or they'll meekly stand near a chick on a dance floor and awkwardly fumble for her giggly bits.  LEAD.  Understand that a quick rejection happens thousands of times under a single clubs roof on any given saturday night.  If you get rejected, MOVE ON or come back later (the girls are drunker, and if you come back and are cool and not butthurt they won't even remember why they rejected you).  And if you can handle rejection and not be all butthurt and have FUN with the damn thing, everyone sees and you just end up looking more awesome.

If I can go off on an even worse and drunker tangent, that's the problem with the woo/intent dichotomy.  Guys in a club with just woo look fucking GAY.  We had a bunch of marines in the other night who couldn't pull, so they just got hammered and danced it up on the dancefloor.  Good for them.  So many guys can't have a good time without drugs or pussy.  Good for them.  But they looked gay.   You have to inject intent into your woo.  People will see that you are not "having fun and trying to pick up girls", but you are "picking up girls BECAUSE IT IS FUN".  Everyone wants to be a part of the fun.  Guys who hit on girls and are creepy are doing it out of a sense of needing validation, and it comes through in every action.  And think about what would happen if the chick DID go home with that dude.  How bad would that sex be?  With a guy who has fun picking up chicks (not just succeeding, but actually has fun flirting and meeting people and being social-- a guy who has fun with the process), you can bet the sex'll be fun too.  What girl wouldn't want to go home with that?
EvenR1990 wrote:

JustABouncer wrote:
I guess I should calm myself down. Use nicer words.  Adopt a more palatable vernacular.  But listen:

You people (KJs), for the most part, don't get what cold approach pickup looks like in nightclubs.

I spend EVERY NIGHT OF MY LIFE in a club, and it never ceases to amaze me.  I see guys getting blown out left and right, I see girls standing in the middle of a dance floor hoping someone will bang them.

You can add a lot of value by telling people what a good approach looks like to you.

Thanks.
Login or register to post.
#5
Courage

Courage

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/22/2006 | Posts: 2441

Could you give some insights on hot bartenders?

Do bars/clubs make a ton of money?
__________________
Someday, I want to be a billionaire.
Login or register to post.
#6

JustABouncer

Member

Join Date: 12/24/2011 | Posts: 42

Of course.  This is only my humble experience.  I'm sure that backpacker bars are awesome places to get laid.  Where are you located?
VinceC wrote:
I heard this conversation once and to this day I still cringe

guy: hey can I buy you a drink?
girl: yeh sure
guy: thank you!

I think you assessment is accurate to some degree, but I frequently visit backpacker bars and I see people hooking up all night.
Login or register to post.
#7

ozbuckley

Senior Member

Join Date: 02/22/2010 | Posts: 119

What are the top 5 mistakes you see guys making when dealing with chicks in clubs that are making the BIGGEST negative impact?
Login or register to post.
#8
Tyler

Tyler

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 8727

Thanks for your contributions man, enjoyed your posts!

The one thing I'd add is me personally, if I get kicked out, I just leave with minimal conversation, if any at all.  If I feel that the bouncer may not have looked at me closely I may even feign a cough or sneeze or pop up my collar slightly to cover my face (obviously in a natural way) and just quickly get out of the venue.

Not so quick it looks shady, but just be very complicit and leave without any trouble.  I'll try to sound normal and sober in response to anything he says, but mostly I just want to bounce.

My rationale for this is that I'm a very memorable guy, and if I talk he'll remember me.  I want to be a BLUR to his memory so that I can come back and hit it up another night.  In fact even if it's another guy who starts shit with me and it's completely his fault (and he'd be the one to get kicked cause people around will vouch for this...) I'll still leave quickly because let's say it happens again a week later where another chode freaks out and it's also his fault and not mine, the bouncer will naturally assume that there's always bullshit around me and figure I'm causing it.

OTOH if there's no way I'm getting out of it without a conversation, I hold my frame super calm and rational, joke around with him and say over and over "Hey man I'm 100% sober.  I think this person was over-served.  I didn't drink tonight.  I get it you guys don't want any shit and I'm cool to bounce, I'll come back some other time it's all good man have a great night."

Mostly if I get kicked by a bouncer it's because he's a DOUCHE.  He believes that by "saving" the girls from me that HE can get laid.  In my 11 years of going out I've even seen it where a bouncer will try to kick me, then the girl leaves because she doesn't care, and he keeps chasing her down to see if "she's okay".  If it's in another city and I don't plan to come back for another year I'll call him out like "Ahahahahahh clever shit man does that ever work to get you laid?  I bet you think it will someday right?  That's why you keep trying!!  Ahahahahahh!!!"

I think this has to be the weakest shit I've ever seen and I know these guys don't get laid from it.  But in their own minds they actually rationalize that they're being gentlemen and looking out for the girl, when it's purely selfish.  IME most bouncers aren't like this though, it's just something that happens once in a while and is a pet peeve. :)

Tyler
__________________
HOT SEAT 2 RED HOT OFFICIAL LAUNCH IS JANUARY 25 @ 12PM EST -- check out the kickass new page at www.rsdhotseat.com

SIGN UP DURING THE LAUNCH FOR THE BONUS
FREE SECOND DAY OF HOT SEAT FEATURING JULIEN'S INFIELD FOOTAGE AND FOUNDATIONS: RELOADED.
Login or register to post.
#9
alienantfarm

alienantfarm

Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/21/2011 | Posts: 1353

Awesome post! Thanks.
__________________
Read my review of Get Laid or Die Trying

My personal philosophy: You need to step to every single girl like a fucking bomb. You need to have presence. You need to stand out, and not in a surface level way such as what you're wearing, but as who you are and the way in which you communicate. You need to be unforgettable. You need to create a sense of urgency, that you are now or never. You need to push and at the same time be completely willing to walk away. It is essential to disidentify with the ego, otherwise the inherent rejection associated with pickup will destroy you.

"You need to let them know what kind of man you are, so they know what kind of woman to be."
"Fear is always a constant, but accepting it...makes you stronger."
"Once you done slayed 20-30 of them hoodrats, now you ready to go up to the upper echelon type ho."
"I've got no game. And every face looks the same. They've got no name. So I don't need game to play. I just say whatever I want to whoever I want. Whenever I want, wherever I want, however I want."
Login or register to post.
#10
jlaix

jlaix

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 8800

Yeah if I get kicked I leave immediately without saying anything and hide my face so they won't remember, even if it wasn't my fault. I don't want to be associated with "problems." staff doesn't give a fuck whose fault it was they just see bullshit they have to deal with on a busy Friday night. Leave quickly, say nothing except maybe "sorry man" in a calm voice.

Also, I distribute weed to staff. Bring ten small joints out and just hand them out all night. Money in the bank.
__________________

          
 
Login or register to post.