THE FORUMS
Distinctions, epiphanies, and development
It has now been just over a week since my bootcamp with Jeff & Alex. I have noticed quite a few changes since then especially in mindset. For one I’m much more motivated (in not only pickup but every other area of my life). It’s a funny thing, but I kind of remembered (from one of the big distinctions on my bootcamp) that my experience in the world is down to me. I have to take 100% responsibility for myself and enjoying myself.
I think recently I have just been really bored and somewhat indifferent to everything. Really not feeling massively motivated or feeling like I enjoyed things that much. One of the massive shifts for me on the program itself really came from Alex.
‘Empathy’ and making thing interesting for myself
I had been going through the process and not really achieving a huge amount and also not enjoying myself. I realized that any point you can switch things up, you can change an ok night into an awesome night just by going through the processes of relaxing yourself. It is your responsibility to make any given interaction interesting. For some reason this was something I had forgotten and just found myself uninspired by girls I was talking to with their stupid and immature responses.
In the past couple of weeks I’ve been very self-aware of how I’m feeling. I’ve been really relaxed, found social interactions incredibly easy and found that I’m being much more patient with people. I’ve really come to see just how many people you need to be really patient with. I’ve also noticed myself being really relaxed whilst out and if I ever start to feel un-relaxed, I just change things up because now I just totally trust the process of a night.
In want of a better term, I feel much more high-value in every situation I’m in. I’ve had some situations where I’m really not into a girl and I see them visibly ‘trying not to fuck up’ and being noticeably self-conscious around me. As I’ve been out pretty much every night, I’ve also started to see that some nights I don’t really have the drive to do a huge amount and treat them more like practice nights. It has been really interesting when I’ve say just been winging a friend (and occupying the girl so my friend can isolate) and I see the girl I’m talking to trying really hard.
Last week I had a couple of really good nights, and also a night that started off really bad that ended up awesome. The later was an incredible learning experience and one of the coolest things to see. I went to the club pretty late and really wasn’t feeling like being out, I was pretty tired and just generally not feeling in a social mood. When I got there I was well aware of this but instead of beating myself up about it and trying to push myself really hard, I just relaxed. Took my time to warm up and went around being social for a bit. I completely trusted in the process and realized that you really need to honor that and aim to get yourself relaxed. Ended up having an awesome night. Really showed me that there is no time when you can’t change your mood. You just need to trust in yourself and trust what you know, not what you feel.
Your emotions can be extremely misleading
The last small distinction I have noticed is just that of taking risks and not taking yourself so seriously. One thing that I was very willing to do on program (and have done back here a bit), is that of going and doing the hard sets. Go for quality. Go and talk to the big sets, mixed sets, take the risks. Pursue sets. Go back and reopen girls. It is sometimes very easy to neglect these, and although you may get good results independently, this is where the massive growth happens.
One thing that has ever so slightly come back after bootcamp, is resting on my laurels. I pulled 3 times in the last week and half but I know that I can still push for more and there are definitely things that I have avoided that on bootcamp would not have been an option. This is definitely something that I want to focus more of my time on.
__________________
Alex Melbourne Bootcamp
19- 21, November 2010
Jeffy & Alex, Sydney Bootcamp
24-26 November 2011
M.
19- 21, November 2010
Jeffy & Alex, Sydney Bootcamp
24-26 November 2011
M.
It's time for a shake up of things. The Australian summer is now over and it's back to the drawing board for me. It's now 4 months since my program and it's definitely time for me to reasses some things.
I've been going out pretty consistently for the whole of the summer period and had I guess some big growth areas, but also some massive areas of complacency. At the time of my last post I was really inspired to be going out, I was having an awesome time every time and was really going well. I had just finished my program and I was still in the post bootcamp glory. Since then one thing I have definitely been guilty of is resting on my laurels and not pushing myself hard enough, and not pushing my comfort zones like I was specifically told to do. After program I felt like I had broken into a new level, which in many ways I did. The problem was that I didn't follow through consistently enough and really continue to be on my shit with it all.
I had an awesome summer break and have had some awesome, awesome experiences. I have been going out heaps and talking to hundreds of girls but I have definitely been playing it safe. I've been feeling more comfortable with things than ever and really growing into myself which is awesome. This time last year I was in a place where I would have nights where I would feel like a massive chode, where I really didn't trust myself, didn't trust in my opinions and everything seemed like a massive struggle. Now I don't have any of that. I have come a huge amount and really changed a lot. Every area of my life has improved because of the skills and self-esteem growth that has come from what I've done in that time.
i think what I've found recently is that I now have achieved all those initial things that I wanted with this, I am now at a place where for me to break through into the next level requires a lot of conscious effort and a lot of putting myself into the situations that really are character changing. As I proved to myself, I am remarkably resiliant with social pressure and I really am not scared of much that people can throw at me. The probem is tat sometimes your mind plays tricks on you and makes you think that you are not capable of what you really are.
I think I did break through something over the break but now I definitely need to shake the foundations a bit and push myself harder and take things more seriously. It's time to really follow-through with things.
Making sure I am:
Enduring tests.
Staying in set and not getting bored and walking away (remembering that is always my responsibility to keep the interaction interesting)
Doing risky/edgy things to ellicit tests
To get through to next level I really need to start making myself acountable and make sure that I am keeping tabs on my progress. Not resting on my laurels and instead always trying to push myself. Doing the hard things to inspire myself.
I want to start getting much more consistent results and just really getting use to process of things, and start making stronger distinctions for myself.
Whilst it's always cool to hear what the instructors have to say, it is really up to me to learn the same lessons for myself. Go out and put myself in all the situations that help me grow and make sure I do think about them afterwards and create my own principles that work for me.
I've been going out pretty consistently for the whole of the summer period and had I guess some big growth areas, but also some massive areas of complacency. At the time of my last post I was really inspired to be going out, I was having an awesome time every time and was really going well. I had just finished my program and I was still in the post bootcamp glory. Since then one thing I have definitely been guilty of is resting on my laurels and not pushing myself hard enough, and not pushing my comfort zones like I was specifically told to do. After program I felt like I had broken into a new level, which in many ways I did. The problem was that I didn't follow through consistently enough and really continue to be on my shit with it all.
I had an awesome summer break and have had some awesome, awesome experiences. I have been going out heaps and talking to hundreds of girls but I have definitely been playing it safe. I've been feeling more comfortable with things than ever and really growing into myself which is awesome. This time last year I was in a place where I would have nights where I would feel like a massive chode, where I really didn't trust myself, didn't trust in my opinions and everything seemed like a massive struggle. Now I don't have any of that. I have come a huge amount and really changed a lot. Every area of my life has improved because of the skills and self-esteem growth that has come from what I've done in that time.
i think what I've found recently is that I now have achieved all those initial things that I wanted with this, I am now at a place where for me to break through into the next level requires a lot of conscious effort and a lot of putting myself into the situations that really are character changing. As I proved to myself, I am remarkably resiliant with social pressure and I really am not scared of much that people can throw at me. The probem is tat sometimes your mind plays tricks on you and makes you think that you are not capable of what you really are.
I think I did break through something over the break but now I definitely need to shake the foundations a bit and push myself harder and take things more seriously. It's time to really follow-through with things.
Making sure I am:
Enduring tests.
Staying in set and not getting bored and walking away (remembering that is always my responsibility to keep the interaction interesting)
Doing risky/edgy things to ellicit tests
To get through to next level I really need to start making myself acountable and make sure that I am keeping tabs on my progress. Not resting on my laurels and instead always trying to push myself. Doing the hard things to inspire myself.
I want to start getting much more consistent results and just really getting use to process of things, and start making stronger distinctions for myself.
Whilst it's always cool to hear what the instructors have to say, it is really up to me to learn the same lessons for myself. Go out and put myself in all the situations that help me grow and make sure I do think about them afterwards and create my own principles that work for me.
__________________
Alex Melbourne Bootcamp
19- 21, November 2010
Jeffy & Alex, Sydney Bootcamp
24-26 November 2011
M.
19- 21, November 2010
Jeffy & Alex, Sydney Bootcamp
24-26 November 2011
M.
redman
Member
Join Date: 11/12/2010 | Posts: 56
In light of this, it is time for a new journal. ‘Distinctions, epiphanies, and development’. I feel like prior to this bootcamp I was second guessing myself a lot and not trusting in my own abilities. This journal is going to be a place for me to bring to light my own process and to develop it and keep track of my own evolution and learning.
This is going to be where I can really keep track of how I’m going, and to continue to make break throughs for myself.
19- 21, November 2010
Jeffy & Alex, Sydney Bootcamp
24-26 November 2011
M.