THE FORUMS

November 29th, 2014
NASTY Attack Situation...Almost. How Do You Disarm a Fight?
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AntoineL

AntoineL

Junior Member

Join Date: 11/24/2010 | Posts: 24

 So last night, I had a rather unpleasant almost fight situation happen. Almost outright attack situation, actually.

I was outside the bar, about half an hour past closing time. I was winging the fat friend for my mate, and while I was doing this, my mate apparently had his set overtaken by this big AMOG. A few minutes after that, I hear the AMOG and the HB talking about how they need a ride home, wondering what they're going to do. AMOG begins suggesting that I give them all a ride home. Of course, this is not going to happen. I keep trying to get away from the fat girl, but she literally WILL NOT let me go, lol. She is holding me in against her as I try to gracefully exit to my car.

Just as I finally pry her hands off of me and start to exit to my vehicle, the AMOG begins talking to me from behind, saying "Bro, we need a ride home. Let's go."

Like, just INVITING himself to get a ride home from me. Are you fucking kidding? I ignore him fully and just keep walking. The AMOG is totally drunk, and begins following me across the street.

AMOG: "Bro, we need a ride home. You're taking us, right?"

Antoine: "No."

AMOG: "Huh? Haha, NO? Excuse me?"

I continue walking toward my car, which is about 20 feet away. He stands still for a moment, then begins following behind me again, no more than 3 feet behind very close proximity.

AMOG: "That's fucked up bro. I need your help and you're just walking away. What the FUCK? HEY. I'M TALKING TO YOU!"

He starts shouting, so finally I say over my shoulder:

Antoine: "I don't give strangers rides."

AMOG: "That's fucked up man. THAT'S FUCKED UP."

I keep walking and he stops, and begins screaming like a toddler. No shit, like having an actual temper tantrum:

AMOG: "I...I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. KILL YOURSELF. FUCKING KILL YOURSELF. I WANNA PUNCH YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE, MAN!"

My friend sees this happening and comes to my side just as the AMOG comes up behind me again and grabs my shoulder. (My friend is a small asian guy and the AMOG is significantly bigger than both of us)

The AMOG throws his arm around my shoulder and pulls me in next to him, almost like a friend would. He then begins describing how he's going to punch me in the face. I just recently had a similar situation to this happen where I fully escalated it, telling the guy to fuck off and that I'd fucking kill him, and I wound up with him ACTUALLY punching me in the face. So, needless to say, I was not eager to have this happen again. I just kept trying to be as non-confrontational as possible.

At this point, I just told him that I couldn't help him and took his arm off me. He started cursing me out again, and yelling at me to just run away, just keep running.

I suddenly felt a tap directly on my lower back, as it seemed he had PUNCHED ME IN THE BACK. It was a love tap, really. It didn't even hurt, but still...It pissed me off pretty bad. I resolved to just keep walking, but the AMOG continued to follow me right up to my car. I opened the door to get in, and he promptly got RIGHT in front of my door, continuing to talk shit.

AMOG: "Just try to leave. Try to leave right now. What are you gonna do, huh? Just fucking TRY to leave."

I was seriously worried he was about to start trying to damage my car or something, and (briefly) the thought to just run him down crossed my mind.

Anointe: "Hey, get OFF of my car."

AMOG: "Make me. What are you gonna do? FUCKING MAKE ME."

He had that look in his eye like all he wanted was a fight, and I had no idea how to appropriately diffuse the situation. Out of nowhere he gave some weird semi-apology to my friend, and I one last time I told him "I can't help you. Sorry." and tried to shake his hand. This apparently diffused him enough to make him begrudgingly walk away from my car. I told my friend to just get in the car with me and I'd give him a ride over to his. AMOG walked back over to the 2-set and gave me a nice long middle finger as I drove by to leave. It was a demeaning experience, if nothing else. My hands were shaking afterward, so I guess the experience left me somewhat shaken.

There was literally no one else anywhere nearby, being way past closing time as this all went down.


My question is: What would have been a good way to handle that situation? This kind of scenario with drunk dumbasses seems like it's starting to happen more and more often...and I feel like i really need to get a good handle on how to deal with it. I've never taken any fighting classes or anything like that before, and I havent' really been in an actual fight since the third grade. Should I consider taking some boxing lessons or something? It seems like that would prompt more fights, but I dunno. I would rather take the non-violent route, but last night was just ridiculous.

Have you guys had any similar experiences happen?
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#1
Cupcakes

Cupcakes

Trusted Member

Join Date: 12/14/2010 | Posts: 1274

You'll probably get guys telling you to de-escalate the situation, but most of them probably don't go out enough or stand out enough or live in a place where sometimes there is NOTHING you can do, there are faggots who WILL do their best to try to land a punch in your face, it's a risk of going out around those sorts of people.
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#2
Phelim

Phelim

Senior Member

Join Date: 10/15/2009 | Posts: 228

I'll just make a few points:

Letting him get so close he could put his arm around you was a mistake. He could've had a knife, could've bitten you and given you HIV, put you in a headlock and cranked your neck, anything. There's a impt concept in law enforcement called maintaining reactionary gap; this means always keeping enough space between you and the tango so that you have enough time to react.

Situations like this are always hard to deal with, so don't feel too bad. One thing you could have done is be assertive, eg, "Back the fuck up!" You must be able to do so with perfect congruence, like my FBI buddy. When he tells someone to back up, their bowels loosen. 

You will only have perfect congruence if you know you can stop the threat. Take some kind of functional martial art. A lot of martial arts are lacking for real street defense, so let me know what's available in your area and I'll give some recommendations if you like.

There's a lot more that can be said, but that's enough for now.
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#3
Todd

Todd

Instructor | Respected Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 990

Going anywhere near your car was a mistake given what preceded it.  If some guy followed me out of the club I'd lead him right up to the bouncer and tell the bouncer he's belligerantly drunk and harassing you.  Thinking ahead is generally better than trying to get out of the situation later.
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#4

sucker4love

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/12/2010 | Posts: 1374

Workout with weights for strength while learning boxing on the side. I'd be pretty ashamed if I got choded like that by someone whose a cry baby screaming at you. Not being mean but get your shit together. Tough world out there.
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#5
Beast Von Gandi

Beast Von Gandi

Respected Member

Join Date: 09/29/2010 | Posts: 601

do you know you got weaponable items in the trunk of your car
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#6
Beast Von Gandi

Beast Von Gandi

Respected Member

Join Date: 09/29/2010 | Posts: 601

obviously
Phelim wrote:

Letting him get so close he could put his arm around you was a mistake. He could've had a knife, could've bitten you and given you HIV, put you in a headlock and cranked your neck, anything. There's a impt concept in law enforcement called maintaining reactionary gap; this means always keeping enough space between you and the tango so that you have enough time to react.

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Boners not kino man. My entire crew is basically composed of retards and sex addicts. There's not a whole lot of "thought" going on per se. Just beastmode and dong. Why do we fuck these girls? Because they get our dick hard and it is also a great form of exercise. DURR Never ask. Never narrate. Mumble gibberish and take your dick out. Some girl looked at you this one time at Starbucks HURRAY
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#7
MidnightRambler

MidnightRambler

Respected Member

Join Date: 08/09/2011 | Posts: 393

Log as a reference experiencevand MOVE ON! 
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#8
Mitizaro

Mitizaro

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/14/2009 | Posts: 1081

If it was my brother... that guy would probably not attempt this. First because he's tall (well put but not too jacked) and secondly because of his motherfucking INTENT he gives.
Secondly if i was out with my bro we might have ended fucking this guy up. Pretty childinsh if you ask me, but it is how it is :).

And really - here's a smart thing to do. Lift your arms up - both in front of you with OPEN, i repeat - OPEN hand (palms pointing towards him) - As if you're trying to stop him politely and telling him to "calm down". One han can be slightly fowrward than the other. This position is very favourable for you since you can immediatelly act and punch/block if somethning happens. Think for a second - while his arms are down and yours are up - who's faster?
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#9
Voeoe

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Join Date: 12/05/2009 | Posts: 411

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#10
Paris Boum Boum

Paris Boum Boum

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/02/2009 | Posts: 2765

 It depends on your physical constitution and your emotional balance. 

Usually I can defuse fights just by 
1- LEADING and walking up straight to the guy, ie showing I am not afraid at all of physical confrontation 
2- MOST IMPORTANT I am calm as fuck, super chill, I am not nervous at all. If I feel it makes me nervous, I don't try to defuse any fight lol, same as when you feel you're super anxious you think your approach is gonna bomb.
3- I  bombard the guy with brain disruptive material, the same way you talk to a girl lol, your shit doesn't make sense, but as long as you're chill and you talk, not feeding the guy any negativity, he can't help but calm down. Influence.

This happened many times BUT:
1-I have the physical constitution to back it up. 
2-People almost never try to get into a fight with me
3-So it's usually fights in bars or street that I try to defuse
4-The only time I remember when a guy tried to fight me, I GAYAMOGED the shit out him, and it was so outlandish that nothing happened after that (ie nobody was ready to back up, so as we slowly got near each other I went for the make out, true story bro, except that I didn't kiss him and it was to show him I was slightly maniac and that he shouldn't fuck with me) (also I had a hammer in my bag)

Anyway if you weigh 50kg I don't have any advice to give you, maybe always stay chill and learn to run fast.
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