THE FORUMS

 Dec. 17, 2011

Today I got terribly sunburnt and I think I was suffering from heat stroke. I really didn’t feel like going out but I got dragged off the couch.

We go to a large bar but with a much older crowd. I really couldn’t care about much and am feeling quite delusional. Kiran opens a 6-set and I come in. I start talking to the right side while Kiran is talking to the left. Kiran gets blown out and leaves but I stick around and just do not care. I am talking with one girl then alternating to the next girl and so on. I was just vibing and teasing the girls. It was going well and they didn’t want me to leave. I stuck in the set for about an hour and a half but I couldn’t care if the set went anywhere. I was merely using them to entertain myself as most girls in the set are approximately twice my age.

I ejected when I didn’t care anymore, stuck around for another 30 mins but went home soon after.

The good points were that I didn’t care but I need to hold tension for longer because I was releasing it too easy.

~Hoops

 Dec. 19, 2011

This is going to be a much better post. It’s my birthday today (Dec 20th) so I spent more time reflecting on last night than normal.

I met up with Steve at about 10:00, waited for Ben until about 10:45, then went to McDicks until 11:15, before entering the club. When we got inside it was prime pickup time. There were plenty of available girls that hadn’t been approached much yet. I quickly go to the washroom and then come back and open one of the first girls I see. I notice that I’m just talking and talking and talking. My 90/10 rule is becoming more instinctive rather than something that is forced. The set opens up but I’m still having a bit of problem with changing gears. Escalation is often quite slow and could be done quicker.

I’ll try out a bit of a mechanical approach to shifting gears to get some quick reference experiences. I consider this analogy the same as learning to drive a manual car. At the start you stall all the time and you find it impossible. Then you can get the car moving but have trouble shifting gears smoothly so you might learn how to shift gears from the reference of the vehicle’s velocity and engine’s RPMs. Over time though you decide to experiment more and feel the vehicle for the correct time to shift. It’s rocky at the start but you find it works better than ever. Driving just got a lot more fun too. You start to experiment with engine braking and you start to fit into the natural style. Not only that but now that you have this skill, extra fun and precision control you never want to go back to driving an automatic. You might even find driving an automatic reckless. It’s time for me to step up to driving a manual!

Okay, so to finish off things with the first girl. The interaction goes well she’s asking for my name and touching me. I’m starting to notice how MM would have evolved. Steve is in set with her friend about 10 feet away and we merge back together. The girls leave to go to the washroom but seem very genuine about coming back.

We didn’t care much though and continued to open. I go to the water fountain area and there is a hot 3-set standing there. I double-tap the girl on the arm saying excuse me to grab a water showing no interest in her. I notice she is checking me out so I open with something situationally funny. It’s open and the girl is hooked after a very short amount of talking. I blew it open by curiously asking where she was from. She said she was a local. I throw a questioning look back at her. “You speak very different for somebody around here.” She says “she speaks proper” and she qualifies saying she’s not a retard. I start moving the conversation in different directions. It somehow gets to her stripping outside and suntanning naked. I tease her about her teasing her next door grandpa. She loves the conversation. Her friends feel comfortable with her and they say they’re going to go sit down. The girl stays with me. I instantly go for the number close to at least lock that in. I give the girl my phone and she’s entering the number when her giant social circle engulfs her (15+ people). She gives me back my phone with the number half complete. I say WTF is this but she hides in the back of the group saying “I don’t even know this guy”. Wow, way to get owned. Not too bad nonetheless. She was smoking hot. I’ll learn how to get back into big situations, tool out a guy or two and get the girl.

I leave the area and go back to Steve and Ben. I’m frustrated so I open another girl. I see a girl with her iPhone beside her full beer so I tell her to lower her drink away from her phone. She clues in and the set is open. We vibe for a bit but I notice that I’m not changing gears well again. It’s fun but static conversation and consequently not moving towards being overly sexual. She’s still interested. What it feels like is that the girls are getting close to a decision point with me. Rather than instantly screening me out thinking I’m unworthy, they’re staying in the interaction for 5-10 minutes and then coming to a decision point where they are deciding whether to latch onto my good emotions or leave and find better stimulation. This is where I feel I’m at right now. I’ve no problem opening sets now nor do I have much problem hooking but I am having a problem changing gears and ramping up sexual tension. I’m also not helping myself out in a few situations too. I’ve been noticing that I’m breaking tension by looking away or verbally de-escalating. I think I can get past this by saying what’s on my mind and holding firm eye contact – not creepy though as if I’m expecting a reaction or response.

After this interaction, I go back to standing around with Steve and Ben. I didn’t push it had after this and end up standing around watching logistics and chatting to Ben for the next hour. I should have been pressing hard. Watching what was happening was weak – I was weak and the competition was weak. Guys were approaching girls with such a ‘trying to impress’ frame and getting girls. Sure it might seem entertaining but it’s an approach in an attempt to hold the girl through the forward feedback of her emotions and response. I’ll be able to crush this soon. I’m really learning to bring my emotions from within and it’s making things so many times easier. I don’t know why anyone would be looking for external emotions. I love myself...haha.

The last part that I want to write in here is about gaining leverage. I’ve read this several times before and seen it in fight club; it’s the scene where TD is holding a gun to the corner store clerk saying to the clerk that he better change his life and chase his dream to become a vet or he will be dead in 6 weeks. Now I’ve seen this several times before but it’s never really been strong enough to have much influence over me. Last night though it really hit me. This is the best way I can put it, rather than considering it as being about the outcome, I framed it as being about the effort and the process. I framed it as “if I were to die tomorrow, would I be happy with the effort that I put in today?” If the answer is “NO” then I will go harder. I can’t control outcomes but I can control the decisions I make. So I’ll ask you too “If you were to die tomorrow, would you be happy with the effort you put in today?”

To answer the question myself “if I were to die today, would I be happy with my effort last night?” the answer is no. I know I can press harder. It’s so much better at building emotional leverage than any other method I’ve found before. Fuck yeah!!

Here is my finisher!!!
>>>>>>
I love this quote:
“Most people don’t go on to live their dreams—to create their vision, to become the person they want to be, to develop those amazing skills. Mostly they go on to become average, and then rationalize how they never wanted their dreams anyway.”
-Tyler (thanks for pointing it out Steve)
>>>>>>

Keep going out my friends,
~Hoops

 Dec. 20, 2011

Woke up late today and was texting Hyde about last night. He was kicking me in the ass to start calling my numbers so I did. Over the past week I’d got five numbers, so I sat down and called them all one after another. I prefer not to text especially off the start. I got three out of the five on the phone. All three were on the phone for more than five minutes and two seemed very interested. I’ll call them all again on Friday and try to setup a day two.

Met up with the boys for dinner where we just stuff ourselves full. We were shooting the shit and head to the bar around 11. Vince and I go inside first and the first girl I open the first girl I see by saying “it’s my birthday” with my arms wide open. She awkwardly opens and and the interaction is short. I open the very next girls with the same opener. They open in the same way but it holds for a little longer. This was good for getting me inside and talking to girls.

I see Mike, Mitch and Roy inside and go to say hello. Vince and I sign up to sing Karaoke immediately and sing a killer song. Good stuff. I’m still so full from dinner that I feel like chilling. I’m leaning up against the back wall for a while and end up singing another song. While I was on stage for the second song a middle aged man approaches me and says something I couldn’t hear. His wife/girlfriend is behind him and has a pleading look on her face. She comes up and says something to me but I couldn’t understand. She comes up all sexual and I crack a joke back at her. At this point I freaked out and got myself out of there. It was not the smart move because I was still on stage and could have used her as a pivot to get to hotter girls. The whole idea of swingers was so outside my reality I just wasn’t ready for it. My brain freaked out. When I got back to the ‘safety’ of my friends I sat back again for another fifteen minutes or so.

I go into the other room and open a few girls but nothing really sticks. In some of the better sets I was self-amusing but scrambed with thought directions. I was getting a few looks like this guy is funny but doesn’t have his sense of direction down. While I know where I want to go with my physicality, I’m a bit lost with my verbals. I guess I should try unfiltering my thoughts and just say what’s on my mind. I’ll figure out the self amusing part later.

I open a set that Vein is in. The interaction pretty much went from nothing to comfortably talking about having a threesome later. It was all done in a joking sense but inception happens. I had a problem going further. I didn’t let myself flow. Instead I down-shifted and the girls were thinking WTF. It wasn’t a huge downshift but it was enough to show weakness. I should have remained ICY and kept the tension and perhaps geared up. The girls leave to get a drink and I puppy dogged. Puppy dogging never works out very well. I think it’s because I’m trying to grab onto their emotions instead of using my own. In that model I could make it work.

I go back to choding around for the next hour opening a few sets, keeping them going for a few minutes, but not hooking. I’ve been running short sets on the girls that I was talking to earlier and they’re still interested.

In this choding around phase I was reluctant to approach the hottest sets. I just knew I would get blow out instantly and I was protecting my ego. I needed to muscle through and go for it because only then will I make progress on the girls I really want to bang. What it feels like is that the mid-range girls (6s & 7s) are on the same level as me, I don’t put them on a pedestal, but the hotties (8s, 9s & 10s) are put on a pedestal. I’m considering myself unentitled where I theoretically know I am entitled. It was the exact anxiety feeling I got this morning before calling the girls. It’s all about building the positive reference experiences.

Towards the end of the night, I open a French chick from before. She opens well, I’m in, I instantly gear up, get much more physical and get the makeout. After five minutes I move her to a seated area in the back room. Again we’re making out for another five minutes. I move her to another dance floor. More dancing and making out. I lead her out of the club at this point and pull her to a side wall. It’s very public so it’s mostly just to build rapport. I tell her lets go get something to eat. Haha... change of plans, we’re not going to eat, we’re going to a park “to look at the trees”. I walk her down there and some token resistance is being applied but it’s nothing I can’t get through. It feels as if we’re on the same level, no pedestal, so everything is flowing smoothly. We get to the park and she knows what time it is and is saying stuff like “it’s not happening this week” and “I’m on my period”. I sit her down and continue to kiss her. She hits me with a really good shit test saying “you’re new to this”....haha. Well spotted. I reacted a bit too much to it. I also didn’t know how to get past that much resistance. Maybe I could have gone really brash and just whipped out my dick. Good night nonetheless.

Ohhhh and on the way home I see Hyde in Hyde Park with his girl from last night. He texts me the next day to say he did his name proud.

~Hoops

PS:  My answer is still NO

 Dec. 22, 2011

I met Hyde at Hungry Jacks at 10:30 before walking over to the clubs. Steve and I share interesting stories about the adventures and epiphanies we’ve had over the last two days. Things happen fast.

We get to the clubs at 11:00 and get approached on the street by a girl offering free drinks and entry at a nearby club. We roll there. Hyde gives me his free drink so I double up. We leave since there are about 40 dudes and 5 girls inside, and we have stamps.

Hyde and I get into the original destination and chode around for a while not really approaching any girls. I approach two sets but they only open but don’t hook.

What it feels like is that my micro momentum has dropped from not going out last night but my macro momentum has remained close to the same. In consequence I’m not as self-amusing but I do have more intent. What I do need to do is amp up my work ethic such that I get more references and it will pay off tremendously in the long run.

I go back to getting another drink of water with Hyde and Mike. Hyde calls the 30 second clock on me so I start off. I change rooms since there were no girls in the room that I was in. The clock gets down to about 10 seconds so I “bump” into some girl and say “excuse me” and I just keep my mouth going and square up. The girl is not my normal type but whatever the clock was getting close to zero. I’m just saying random stuff while remaining physical and ignoring the external stimulation. People would try to interrupt but I wouldn’t even react. I’m messing with the girl pressing on and off her with sexual tension. It was a little bit like Tyler’s video on physical game. It felt as if I was the cooler of the two and that I was just using the girl to amuse myself. I think she felt that too and consequently the pull was very easy. I simply kissed her while we were on the dancefloor. I moved her to get water. I moved her back to a seated area. Then we left the club, simple as that. I really didn’t do much work. I just wanted to go through the practise of logistics.

We get outside and start walking. I tell her we’re walking to the park to check out the scenery – she’s complacent. We get to the park and makeout more. I’m not really sure what to do when in a public place like this. It doesn’t go much further. She says to come home with her but I’m contemplating whether to go back to the bar. I just stuck it out and went home with her. I wasn’t overly attracted to her so it was a bit of a waste. Regardless though I got to go through the logistics one more time.

~Hoops

 Dec. 24, 2011

I met up with Kiran early before going to the clubs. We weren’t sure where to go tonight so we tried our Friday spot only to find it completely dead. We’re the only two people in the club. We leave after chatting up the cute bartender. Kiran tells the bartender that I have a $50 bar tab credited for tonight. I didn’t hear this but when the bartender comes to ask me about it I roll with it and start saying “yeah... It’s my birthday”. She can’t figure out whether I’m lying or telling the truth so I decide to let her know that I’m lying because a) I don’t have money to pay back if I get caught b) I like this club on Fridays so I want to keep a good rep.

Kiran and I leave and head to my usual midweek club. It’s better than the old place with maybe 30 people inside. Kiran and I grab a drink and walk outside to chill. We’re standing for a minute before I open a 3 set of girls and ask them to move over so we can sit down. They’re compliant and we sit down. The girl opens me and we start chatting. It’s my first real set of the night so I’m still getting going. The interaction goes alright but it’s still quite logical. Oh well it’s still early at about 10pm. Vince and Kelvin show up and sit down at the table. We don’t eject with the girls but the conversation splits to them talking and us talking.

We get up and go inside. The number of people inside is increasing. Kiran opens a fat 3-set as he jokes of owning the fatty niche. The bitch steals money off him so he has to go chase her down.

Again I let this report go a couple of days so I’ll write about the highlights.

In this night I did well during the social time period. I was staying in sets for 5-20mins and was enjoying myself. The part that I struggled with was the trench period. I could barely get anything to open and hold. Sure I had a few interactions last up to 5 mins but nothing held longer. I was feeling tired but decided to bring more intent towards the end of the night. Before that point I was sitting back and waiting for the party. Yuck!!

So once I started to up my sexual intention, sets started opening up beautifully. Instead of the sets opening and holding for a minute or so and then the girls putting on a look like “who is this guy and what does he want from us?” they are thinking “YES... finally a man who is stepping up and taking what he wants.” In consequence when I temper this with a non-needy, fun attitude it really starts to hold the girls around.

I wrote down evolving thoughts that I had during the night:
1) Offer value
2) Don’t suck value
3) Have adventures in the club
4) Coming in slightly higher energy offers value
5) Trying to open and hold a set at a high energy is tons of work. Wait for later.
6) Be the center of attention plus the center of the party (logistically)
7) Bringing emotions from within is pure value when offering them to others
8) Never hesitate to impose my reality
9) Always bring my intentions to the interaction

I’ll explain how the last part of my night worked. I was frustrated with not taking strong enough intention. I open this girl walking into the dance floor by going in with much more emotion. She stops still and we’re vibing but it’s on. She knows what time it is. I pull then I push. I’m really trying to work that because it works well. It shows the non-neediness along with intent. Plus it allows me to work on emotional spikes. At this point the close is locked in. I’ve already kissed her and she’s comfortable being lead by me around the club. She tries to go aloof on me by walking away to see if my state changes. I decide it’s time to punish her for that behaviour.

I keep dancing but I see a really cute French girl from before who is about to come dancing. As soon as I see her step onto the dancefloor I race over, grab her on the arm, lock hands and pull her to where Vince, Kiran and I are dancing. Vince and Kiran are standing off to the side in astonishment as I now have two hotties plus a BFF (big fat friend) dancing in my party. I keep my intent going on the hot French girl and she’s attracted. I slow down for a bit, pull Kiran over and tell him to go full intent on the other hot girl. Boom.... he’s locked in. That chick is down. Now the BFF is off to the side so I’m trying to keep both the French girl and her happy. It’s so much work. I make sure that I have my intent set on the hot French girl though. At this point she’s saying stuff along the lines of “I can’t leave my friend here.” It’s always the BFF in the way. I call Vince into the set to try to take care of her but at this point the state dynamics of the group are totally skew. Two girls are hot and bothered but the third is alienated. FML! The girls eject. I probably could have done better if I had played in some more push and self deprecation. The states wouldn’t have been so skew then. Regardless strong intent is the way to go but make sure it’s totally fun so it doesn’t come off as creepy and needy.

Oh in the middle of that set too the Irish girl came up angry that I was now with three other girls. She was trying to get with me hard but it serves her right for trying to play aloof games with me. I ended up staying with the hotter girls because I was doing really well at that point.

It’s very close to closing time at this point, I’m encouraging Kiran to get to the level which I am at. We’re going extremely hard. We’re taking Jeffy’s advice to heart on “we don’t leave the club if there are still girls, we either fuck or scare them out of the venue”. That’s exactly what I needed - positive reference experiences that full sexual intent is boss.

The keys to take away were be the party and convey full intent. No half and half shit.

~Hoops