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September 2nd, 2014
Girl doesn't seem too excited for our date...
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#11
FoodBuddha~

FoodBuddha~

Trusted Member

Join Date: 07/11/2007 | Posts: 3978

 As whoever said, pick up the phone and call her.  Call her out to meet casually.  Other than that, don't make SHIT for her.  Make her chase you a little dude; you're freaking the fuck out.  Go get MORE WOMEN and this will solve itself.
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The only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved, desirous of everything
at the same time, the ones who never yawn
or say a commonplace thing, but
burn, burn, burn,
like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding
like spiders ac r o s s the stars.

-Kerouac
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#12
maximal

maximal

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/15/2010 | Posts: 289

FoodBuddha~ wrote:
 As whoever said, pick up the phone and call her.  Call her out to meet casually.  Other than that, don't make SHIT for her.  Make her chase you a little dude; you're freaking the fuck out.  Go get MORE WOMEN and this will solve itself.
This.  Also, fuck it; some girls will flake on you just to see if you're going to start blowing up their phones trying to meet up with them.  If you refuse to be that guy who can't help but incessantly try to contact girls, the flakes become less and less common, because the girls will pick up on the fact that you aren't a guy who will get emotionally attached way too soon.

Every time she flakes and you don't react to it, that makes your nonchalant frame a little bit stronger, which she can't help but buy into.
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#13

lala

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/05/2009 | Posts: 209

 Meet more girls. Youre coming from a scarcity mindset.
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#14
Aurelio91

Aurelio91

Member

Join Date: 08/28/2010 | Posts: 69

I'm not exactly coming from a scarcity mindset. I had multiple girls I could have taken, took a gamble (and knew it was a gamble) on this girl, and it backfired. She did end up responding to me eventually. She said she didn't feel comfortable going without a friend and I just got tired of the whole situation and told her not to come because there was no way her friends were gunna find dates this soon.

I will admit, now, however, that this has had me really down for the past day or so. Gunna be real lame that everyone else is gunna have a blast with their dates and I'm gunna be stuck at my dorm. Fucking sucks but whatever.
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#15

Chill19

Junior Member

Join Date: 12/03/2011 | Posts: 14

Ok, all good points, I love the different perspectives.

For me, first, I think you should remember that it is important for her friends to like you...she will probably want their approval and ask them what they think  before she gos furthur with you..so when she brings them to the party (or if you just happen meet them) keep that in mind, engage them ALL as oppose to just ponning her off to one of your friends ( I realize eventually you will need to isolate, hopefully you will have a friend that will help you out...or better yet since its just a big party make sure htey are having a good time, get them playing beer pong or something). 

As for the coffee- dont overthink....cofees fine, just make it fun, dont interview her when your sitting there, and I am a huge fan of putting a time limit on myself.."I only have 45 min"..try and actually schedule something for after though in case she asks you why.

In addition..I am not a big believer in lines and techniques in the sense that I don't hide behind them....but with that said there are some really awesome ones out there that seem to work flawlessley. One I use, (not mine).. when I make plans with a girl and she responds willingly but with something  like "ya sounds good" ...or "ok perfect"....I respond with ..."k but you're going to need to be much more enthusiastic then that :P", the response is usually something like 'OMG CANT WAIT :)".  

Finally, I agree with Swagger when he says keep it casual..instead of wanting her to come and attaching meaning to it ...just keep it more casual like "theres going to be lots of people here and it will be a lot of fun, you should stop by"..and if she doesn't show..on to the next one ;).

Hope this helps
Cheers,
Chill.
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#16

Chill19

Junior Member

Join Date: 12/03/2011 | Posts: 14

As I just re read the thread to see that she didnt respond to your coffee invitation....

Hopefully she will respond, but as mentioned  by others just get other girls instead.

With that said,...when you see her again....for example, if you happen to run into her either on campus or in a bar or something... just be super positive. As in .....her not responding didnt effect you in the slightest and you just on another level.

I have a corny anology, but hopefully it make sense...

Take two people, and they are friends..not great friends but friends nevertheless.. 

Lets call them A and B....

Its B's birthday....and A dosent write "happy birthday" on B's facebook wall...

A few days later its A's birthday...and instead of B not writing on A's wall (like a didnt write on bs wall)  instead B writes "Happy birthday A I hope its awesome!!"...B would probably be like wtf, I didnt even write on his wall two days ago, and probly think of B as awesome and cool.

Lol..not sure if that made any sense but the point it when you see her again be really enthusiastic, positive, instead of what she is EXPECTING..which is probably for  you to take her not showing up personally and therefore being less enthused to see her.

I wouldnt try and make other plans with her  again right then and there but I would just give it like 5 minutes and be super positve..then pce..she will probably be confused and impressed in a really good way.

Hope that helps, just my opinion.

Chill.
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#17
zoagod

zoagod

Junior Member

Join Date: 10/09/2011 | Posts: 12

 Why do you care fi she is excited or not?
Just change her mood on the date ;) 

Remember its your movie.  Own dat ass !
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#18
FoodBuddha~

FoodBuddha~

Trusted Member

Join Date: 07/11/2007 | Posts: 3978

Aurelio91 wrote:
I'm not exactly coming from a scarcity mindset. I had multiple girls I could have taken, took a gamble (and knew it was a gamble) on this girl, and it backfired. She did end up responding to me eventually. She said she didn't feel comfortable going without a friend and I just got tired of the whole situation and told her not to come because there was no way her friends were gunna find dates this soon.

I will admit, now, however, that this has had me really down for the past day or so. Gunna be real lame that everyone else is gunna have a blast with their dates and I'm gunna be stuck at my dorm. Fucking sucks but whatever.
OK, this is just poor game.  You were qualifying yourself, trying to convince her to comply, getting pissy and killing the mood.  Someone with TRUE abundance would be like, pfffff, whatever girl, and call up the next one.  And if they all flaked, would go out alone and find a new one.  This girl responded the correct way to your mood-kill attitude by not wanting to be around you.  She told you straight up, "uncomfortable."  Feel lucky that you got that direct feedback.  Most chicks would make some excuse, or just not bother to talk to you at all and be conflict-avoidant about it.  This girl actually told you what you're doing wrong, so you can act on it.  +1 to her, she's a gem.
__________________
-------

The only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved, desirous of everything
at the same time, the ones who never yawn
or say a commonplace thing, but
burn, burn, burn,
like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding
like spiders ac r o s s the stars.

-Kerouac
Login or register to post.