January 17th, 2019
The Deceptively Simple Secret to Living an Easy Life of Total Abundance
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Senior Member

Join Date: 03/17/2010 | Posts: 101

This post is going to contain a lot of ideas – all of which ultimately lead back to the same thing, but I’ll do my best to keep it brief nonetheless. First off, the credit for the ideas that lead me to these particular conclusions and point in my life primarily come from Alexander, Tyler, and the artist formerly known as Android. Many of these ideas are directly ripped from their headlines, but I hope to present them in a way that maybe clarifies or reframes them in a way you can apply for better results.

I suppose the most important thing going into reading this is to understand that like a lot of the shit you read around here, it may sound esoteric or airy at times, but I assure you it is not, it is real. It is experiential and must be applied as such. These days I am concerned most with what is most effective – in terms of enjoyment and results.

So the title creates a lot of anticipation… what is the secret? Well, it’s two fold on the surface. In fact, they are one and the same. The secret is having the RIGHT VIBE or FEELING, and how to attain that with maximum consistency is by LETTING GO. And letting go of EVERYTHING.

Now again before this gets into daunting territory, let me digress. I used to read stuff on RSD or in self help that talks about “identity level change” or “rites of passage” or “becoming a man and achieving ultimate super saiyan congruence” or some such shit and personally speaking, this caused me a lot of anxiety. It made me feel like there was something I wasn’t getting, something that was far off that I had to attain before I could live a great life or get girls, and this simply isn’t true. So when you read this post, keep in mind that if you APPLY THIS DIRECTLY it is an incredibly EASY way of attaining the state of relaxation or “core confidence” that you are trying to attain. Yes, you may not have the same level of experience as someone who’s been going out longer and pushing their comfort zones. But you have the right building block.

The basic idea is that with the right vibe, you are naturally attractive, and are relaxed and feel good AS YOU ARE. You enjoy the vibe in your body simply for its own sake. And from there, everything you choose to do is “coming from the right place.” Essentially, this vibe is of the greatest importance. With it, you can choose to mack down girls, you can choose to get shredded in the gym, you can choose to make new friends, and there is no neediness behind any of this. You’re doing it because you want to, because it’s a fun BONUS on top of the naturally attractive person who already feels good as you are.

But how the fuck do you feel good all the time? The secret lies in that feeling of super relaxed aroused vibe in your body. It’s a very SUBTLE feeling, and you need to actually FEEL IT to understand how easy it is to maintain and operate through. On paper, “subtle relaxed arousal” is probably the best way of putting it, but this is really irrelevant, because it’s simply a pointer to the feeling itself, which is the important part. Once you feel it, you’ll become more and more familiar with it, and you’ll begin to simply KNOW IT WHEN YOU FEEL IT. Trust this, and you’ll slide into it with much greater ease.

If you can maintain this feeling with total consistency and let that vibe intensify from this relaxed place, you will develop a sense of enjoyment, social influence and abundance that will continually build momentum and grow all day until it is literally an unstoppable emotional force of impulse, where NO THOUGHT IS NECESSARY. If done properly, you can attain this sense of flow virtually every single day of your life, resulting in a sense of emotional enjoyment, positive influence over others, and abundance in all areas of your life (social/sexual/business, etc.) that just keeps growing and building momentum for the rest of your life… with a TOTAL SENSE OF EASE.

Sounds great, huh? It’s like when you see a certain guy, and he’s just SO EASYGOING, seems to have no problems or at least not perceive them, he’s almost always in a great mood with an impervious inner glow, people are always gravitating towards him inexplicably, girls are always gaming him, and he’s never at a loss for anything he needs or wants. THIS is how to attain that… through this right vibe.

Thing is, most guys will RANDOMLY AND SPORADICALLY stumble across this vibe for minutes at best, and if they’re lucky they’ll lock it in for a night. Either way, the end result is they shit their pants saying “WHOAAA I HAD AN AMAZING NIGHT/FEELING HOW DID I DO THAT GUISE!?!?” and try to break it down logically and figure it out so they can replicate it… and then get stuck massively in their heads trying to regain that incredibly simple feeling of relaxed ease. A brutal irony.

So again, how do you maintain that? I referenced it earlier. You attain this through the principle of letting go of everything. Everything that comes up mentally or happens externally, you just let it go no matter what it is, good or bad. If you have the RIGHT VIBE going and you start to worry about whether you’ll be able to maintain it, let it go. “It’s all good.” If you’re worrying about your exam later that day because you haven’t studied, let it go. “I’ll work it out when the time comes.” If you’re trying to figure out why girls are flaking on you, let it go. “It’ll sort itself out, whatever.” If you just made out with a dime piece in 30 seconds at the bar and you start to think about how big a pimp you are, let it go. “That was fun, let’s see what’s going on over here.” If some girl tells you to fuck off because you made some misfired comment, let it go. “Haha, I guess she doesn’t share my sense of humour.” You get the idea. I mean, these are pretty logical examples, but the basic idea is your ATTITUDE of “it’s all good” and letting everything go that comes up. You begin to develop a rhythm and it keeps you in the moment.

As long as you keep your flow going and stay on your path while letting stuff go, if you have the basic intention of relaxing over time, you WILL hit and KNOW when you feel that relaxed arousal, it’s a very easy and obvious feeling. Once you feel it, letting go of things becomes even easier because you’re present so you don’t get hung up on much at all, and you maintain that feeling and that flow and build the momentum I talked about earlier.

Note that this is NOT LOGICAL. By letting stuff go (essentially neutralizing your logic in a relaxed way), you gain the RIGHT VIBE as quickly as possible and maintain that RIGHT VIBE all day, guaranteeing your flow of momentum in all areas of your life is consistent and comes from a place of WANTING TO DO THINGS as opposed to FEELING PRESSURE or NEEDING to do things. Then you’re guaranteed to have a great time and build massive social abundance every day, and have plenty of awesome bonuses (i.e. chicks, money, progress, favours from people etc.) along the way.

The most important thing to understand is that THAT SUBTLE RIGHT VIBE THAT IS EASY TO FEEL AND MAINTAIN THAT ALLOWS YOU TO ENJOY YOURSELF AND FEEL GOOD AS YOU ARE ALONG WITH ATTRACTING OTHER PEOPLE AND INFLUENCING THEM WITH TOTAL EASE CAN ONLY BE MAINTAINED WITH CONSISTENCY BY LETTING GO OF EVERYTHING. Understand this and apply it and your life will change in seemingly subtle but dramatically surprising and mind-blowing ways.

So, with the basic understanding that the right vibe is what allows you to walk through the world with a sense of total ease and build abundance automatically, and letting go is how to maintain this vibe consistently, I would say that this vibe is attained by letting go about 80%. The other 20% is a few basic habits and lifestyle changes that you can implement to anchor and intensify this vibe. You’ve probably heard most of them before, but hopefully seeing them through the frame of improving the consistency of your vibe you’ll be more inclined to practice them. Once you actually FEEL this vibe with consistency and see the ways it changes your life and reality, I KNOW you will seek out ways to increase this. So here they are. Feel free to add any.

Purpose and Passion. Finding what you’re passionate about and prioritizing action in this on a daily basis will ignite your core and bring you into alignment with the moment and the right vibe with more ease than anything else. This is kind of a short cut, a cheat code. Make it happen and see for yourself.

Doing what you fear.
This is pretty much the biggest thing for getting in the vibe the quickest on a daily basis. Simply do what you fear FOR FUN and WITH GOOD INTENTIONS and you will slide into the right vibe super quickly and stay there, especially because from there you will be naturally inclined to keep doing things that scare you because you unconsciously recognize nothing bad will happen, it’s fun and it will only bring more abundance. My favourite way of doing this is simply STICKING IN and spending time talking to a person or group of people as early in the day as possible, when I’m not feeling social, until I hit an emotional flow – then even though it’s awkward at first, you skip the constant “fear aversion” syndrome that kills most guys, and then you’re consistent in your vibe and flow all day daily. It’s the most reliable way I’ve found to get in that habit of doing what you fear without completely shitting your pants, because it’s manageable.

Just 20 minutes a day of focussing on your breath before you go to bed, eyes open, and the effects transfer over to the next day. This makes letting go much easier, and lets you slide into the right vibe with exponentially less resistance.

I was sceptical, but I learned it and do it pretty much every night after I meditate now. This is incredible, and clears out negative emotions and anchors extremely effectively. It amplifies your vibe to an absurd degree, and will make you beat yourself over the head with a hammer about all the emotional richness of life you’ve been missing out on. I’m sure you can learn on YouTube but it’s not a bad idea to drop a little cash to learn from a certified teacher who will instruct you on it properly. When I do EFT I walk down the street the next day and everyone checks me out and makes direct eye contact. My vibe is way more accessible. When I don’t do it, I don’t get this.

Clean eating/nutrition, hitting the gym and having regular sex. This is self-explanatory. All of these will create immense emotional health in a totally automatic way. These simply require physical effort and action and they have an emotional result that will improve the consistency of your vibe.

Basically, just handling all areas of your life – but OUT OF this right vibe, not PUTTING OFF feeling that right vibe to handle your life. Let go and you will discover this right vibe is your DEFAULT FEELING, and it’s actually super sustainable even if you’re a fat fuck who drinks every day, as long as you give yourself a little social warm up time.

This vibe is the essence of “you are enough” – that is to say, you are naturally attractive and girls want to fuck you RIGHT NOW. Not “durr I need to lose 10 pounds” or “durr I need to be more congruent” before I can fuck that girl or before I can start my business or whatever, it’s I CAN DO IT NOW as long as I have just a LITTLE BIT of emotional momentum. And then anything you choose to do or create from there is just a FUN BONUS and CELEBRATION of this feeling. When I live like this my life is ridiculously easy and my abundance skyrockets. That’s why I called it the “deceptively simple secret,” because it’s super simple but it brings the best and most easy results.

Anyway, this is already fucking long. Maybe some of you found this garbage and hard to follow, maybe some of you got a lot out of it. Either way, I wrote it mostly for myself because that’s the best way I can express how my reality has shifted to one of ease and abundance, and I hope you all can get something out of it too.

Cheers bitches.

Snuggly Bear
Better to die as a Snuggly Bear than live as a monster.
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Senior Member

Join Date: 09/01/2008 | Posts: 250

Very good post snuggly bear, possibly one of the most mature and well written posts I've read on here in a long time. Gold stuff mate.
Field Reports

Alexander~ alumni

The London Crew
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Junior Member

Join Date: 11/01/2011 | Posts: 16

So, can you post practical results from following this to give examples?

IE You used to be unemployed and overweight with $200 in the bank, now you run your own business, have 5 girls on rotation and maintain sub 10% bodyfat at 200lbs?
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Senior Member

Join Date: 01/16/2011 | Posts: 107

Excellently written. This is one of the very few texts that actually explain how to do something to the point where an outsider can understand it.

Having regular sex as a precondition to being socially attractive which is a precondition to having regular sex doesn't make sense but it seems to be a minor point of your post.

I never considered EFT because it is just one of many pseudo-psychological rituals that have no basis in actual science but it seems many people do have success with it. What do you actually do when you do EFT? Do you really tap some points of your body with your finger while saying some phrase and that's it?
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Trusted Member

Join Date: 12/13/2007 | Posts: 2236

A lot of really good points from someone who's been through a process. You CANNOT repeat and re-frame this stuff enough. Thanks for a great effort. People opening the post looking for a Big Mac with fries to kill the hunger will not be satisfied.
“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.”
- African Proverb
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Respected Member

Join Date: 07/04/2010 | Posts: 711

I feel ya on this one.

its like the feeling of your true self, that is covered under so much bullshit conditioning, worries, etc.

its a very light, warm and powerful feeling and you feel connected to LIFE in some sense.

but its not something special, everybody has this inside of them. you described it very good, you "get there" sometimes and then it fades away.

another thing to do in order to maintain that vibe is "Danis Bois" therapy. look it up. this is some kind of physio-therapy and its just fucking crazy and has exactly that effect. I wrote a post about it, called Tylers "high conciousness" = vibing on a higher frequency.

this all sounds esoteric as fuck, Im not like that at all, but this is exactly my experience.
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Trusted Member

Join Date: 03/11/2009 | Posts: 1142

SnugglyBear wrote:

I was sceptical, but I learned it and do it pretty much every night after I meditate now. This is incredible, and clears out negative emotions and anchors extremely effectively. It amplifies your vibe to an absurd degree, and will make you beat yourself over the head with a hammer about all the emotional richness of life you’ve been missing out on. I’m sure you can learn on YouTube but it’s not a bad idea to drop a little cash to learn from a certified teacher who will instruct you on it properly. When I do EFT I walk down the street the next day and everyone checks me out and makes direct eye contact. My vibe is way more accessible. When I don’t do it, I don’t get this.

Tried this last year for a bout a month, had the same experience, everyone checks you out and makes eyecontact, in clubs girls are just staring at you, when you approach theyre all over you.

Quite cool, never caried it on tho, dunno why?
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Senior Member

Join Date: 07/17/2009 | Posts: 283

Yeah, quality post. Relaxation is the goal. This is where my head has been at in recent months. 

And because of that I do
-25 minutes of yoga daily
-15 minutes of TRE daily
-20 minutes of meditation daily
-Eating a Primal/Paleo style diet, no cheating
-Getting enough sleep... this one is actually the hardest for me
-I've also recently started to fix my posture and I feel that has had a positive impact as well
-Light therapy for 8 minutes 2x a day , 5000 iu D vitamin and a men's multivitamin (Winter is coming) 

Long story short I feel really fucking good and my thinking is clear. How does this translate socially and with the girls?


So, um, physical health can do wonders. Be in it to win it.
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Trusted Member

Join Date: 07/05/2008 | Posts: 1716

It's good to see my own mental masturbation written by you, dood ;). This all are things that have been percolating on my mind for a while now. I agree with everything you say. May I add my way of viewing it for KJing purposes? Oh, fuck it, I'll do it anyways, even if you don't like it at all LOL.

Yeah, the basic premise is: that feeling you talk about is default, not something you have to work yourself up to. So, why are we not always like that? Simply: something is blocking you. I will later explain you that your own brain is the one stopping itself from feeling really fucking good.

Let's call those things that stop you from having a good vibe 'stressors'. For stressors I mean: worries, anxiety, pressure to escape the present, boredom, stress itself, ego concerns and overall taking life seriously (instead of taking seriously things that are serious like you living in alignment with your values). Noticing those stressors creates a space between you and them as Eckhy would say, this is a first step.

Then, as you said, you have to let go of it. This may be hard or not, but start with something you can manage. When you let go of everything you become icey, extremely non-needy and overall indifferent. This is what you want. So you have to implement habits, actions and mindsets that free you from stress and relax you into the feelings inside your body.

Do you know those dudes who are always reminding you of the things you have to do so you don't forget, telling you about every detail and overall trying to freak you out of your own self-trust? Well, that's your brain too and, for the matter, you do it also for other people if you are stressed.

It stress you and tries to freak you out so you don't go all Charlie Sheen in life, drunk out of your own self-trust/carefree attitude, and forget to take care of all the things that keep you 'safe'. Because that's really all that your brain cares about: keeping you safe so you can pass your genes. So it stresses you. But if you proof your brain that being on a sex romp works for reproduction, it will keep you in state constantly.

I tell you how this works so that you can let go of things and take a leap of faith into being relaxed.

Ok, so I'm a geek and my brain is adapted to use mainly abstract thinking. So one recurse I use is to logically get out of logic. What I mean is that I use my logic to lead my mindset into 'It's all good/It's going to be fine/I'm enough'. For this it helps me to read good stuff like posts from Tyler, Alex or yours and also good books. Also, something that helps me is watching South Park. It's funny but it's also true. South Park has a really funny way of making clear how stupid taking ourselves seriously is.

Also, diet is really important and meditating every night. Meditation teaches you to accept all your states of mind and emotion (because if you try to reject them you'll realize that you are only adding energy to them, thus making them stronger – this si the magic of meditation). This is the first step of letting go. Once you can let go of this your 'presence' is strong enough to start letting go of your mistakes, your past, your roles, things that you don't like in other people, your desires, the outcomes of your actions, etc.

Some actions that get you relaxed: interacting with people (once again, we both think the same). Don't think of this as something you do to 'get state' but as a way of relaxing, letting go and stop being so inside your head.

Get around people who have the mindset you want for yourself. This is really important, more than you think.

I have more insights (they are not my own obviously) on this as I've studied since I was like 14, but this is all that comes out of my mind right now. I'll post again because writing about this makes my reality stronger. So I do it for me and I don't give a fuck what you think of it (hint: making yourself your highest priority – and by yourself I mean your wants, your experience, your inner world, etc. - will help you with this).
Some principles that have been getting me some success: - When I'm out: it's me-time. I focus on expressing myself and doing what's fun for me, I don't care about girls. Self-absorbedness. - 'It's all good, it's going to be fine, I am enough'. No worries or concerns. Let the dynamics work for me. - Nobody is going to pull girls home for me. Self-image will stop you, take action regardless. - Focus on finding a girl DTF vs. trying to game/arouse/whatever girl after girl.
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Junior Member

Join Date: 05/23/2009 | Posts: 26

 Great to see a member from the golden age of RSD Nation posting something again.  Thanks PoP, this is a interesting post, i will no doubt re-read this again and again.
Do nothing which is of no use - Miyamoto Musashi
Take what is useful - Bruce Lee
Knowing is not enough; we must apply.  Willing is not enough; we must do - Bruce Lee
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Senior Member

Join Date: 05/16/2010 | Posts: 99

Never apologize for saying what you feel, its like saying sorry for being real.
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