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December 10th, 2016
A little Business Secret that will propel your game!
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Goran~

Goran~

Trusted Member

Join Date: 03/11/2009 | Posts: 1238

Edits in blue.

A little Business secret that goes well with picking up chicks and fits nicely with a post I wrote earlier this week: http://www.rsdnation.com/node/204024/forum

80% of what I try won’t work.

In business this means:

80% of business ideas I test out will not work.

If you are aware of this fact, you will not be disappointed with failure, because it is not your failure, the business just didn’t work, there is no market for it. It might have been an awesome idea, it might be awesome in 10 years, maybe it works for someone else, but currently it does not work.

This is actually Optimism.

How is 80% failure optimism?

Well I know that in the long run that If keep applying my mind, effort, expertise and imagination, and keep persisting, figuring it out, trying, taking what I’ve learnt and applying I will have increased success in the long run.

In the short run I’m a Pessimist! I know that most things I try aren’t going to work out the way that I want them to. Meaning I’m an extreme pessimist in the Short run, meaning 9 out or 10 things I try aren’t going to work the way that I want them to, and I am aware of this.

But in the long term if I keep trying I’ll be able to accumulate winning insights, winning formulas, winning strategies. And I will crack the code on some very very important systems, businesses, products, markets etc... And a few of those will be big wins!

Most stock traders that are winners, the best guys, (which is 10% of the guys), make most of their money on a small percentage of all the stocks they trade. If they make 100 trades in a year, they make their big bucks on about 7 trades. They lose money on many, and sometimes on most of them.

Same for Poker Players. You’ll make most of your winnings on a few hands. (I’ve played a few poker game where I’ve folded most of my hands because they were shit, and when it was just me and one other guy left, I got my big hand, I played it and won.)

Now this is opposite of what your brain wants to naturally do. We are wired for instant gratification.

You see a delicious sweet food, a cake and you eat it. You don’t think how will I feel in an hour, how will I feel in the morning, what about in 20 years’ time if I’ve been eating like this the whole time.
Your brain doesn’t think that, all your brain wants is that food, because when we were cavemen food was scarce! And if something was available without effort you’d eat it immediately instead of spending 12-24 hours looking for and hunting a buffalo.
When you approach each of your businesses with the mindset of 80% of my ideas and businesses will not work, and you are aware of this, it makes you more realistic, and very important gives you permission to abandon things that won’t work(Outcome independence/ being cool with things failing) and get on to the next thing.

Don’t give up, but give up that particular approach and go try something else!

Enough of business.

Why this will help with pickup:

Simply if you are aware that 80% of your approaches will go nowhere, and like my other thread http://www.rsdnation.com/node/204024/forum you tell yourself that all girls you approach will be bitchy to you, you will not have any approach anxiety, you will have indifference, you will have and abundance mindset and Outcome independence.

Edit: You have to know, girls are silly its just what they do, you cant do anything about it, tis gonna happen either way, no point of running away from it. Its just a natural human reaction to what youre gonna do.

- Why would you have approach anxiety when you know that you’ll probably be blown out if you approach that girl, what are you anxious about, being blown out, well you know you’ll be blown out already why the fuck are you anxious?
(She isnt blowing you out in particular, cos you suck, she is just blowing you out as thats what girls do a lot of the time (shes shy, she doesnt know what to say, ect...) it will happen, nothing you can do about it.)

She will make fun of you!
But you already know that! And accept it!

You’ll look like a retard!
But you already know that! And accept it!

You wont know what to say!
But you already know that! And accept it!

Your Ugly!
Get plastic surgery! Looks matter! lol. But you already know that! And accept it!

Whatever your mind comes up with, you allready know that, its your mind, what the fuck its gonna be making shit up that you dont allready know. Your mind doesnt know anything you dont...

Whatever else you can think of, you already know that!

- Why would you not have indifference if you already know that girls you approach will be bitchy to you? You already know it what is there to care about?


- Why would you have outcome dependence when you know what the outcome is gonna be!

If you are prepared for the 80% you will surely get the 20%, no doubt about it!


Thats it, now you know you suck you cant change it, you know girls will blow you out, you cant do anything about it, so just fuken approach! What is there to be scared of!

The only thing people fear is the unknown!

You fear the dark, because you cannot see anything so it is unknown what might be in there.

You fear death because it is unknown what happens after.

If you know what is there to be scared of!



To Clarify:

This isnt about Pickup being a numbers game! As you get better, you pick up more chicks easier! Just like as a business man gets succesfull he has more succesfull businesses. Just as a poker player wins more games as he gets better at poker and plays more games. You learn certain things to take the situation into your advantage.

This is about knowing and aknowlegind and being cool with the fact that you will fail a lot, because if you dont aknowledge this fact you will fail and you will quit.

EDIT:

Example from last weekend:

Standing in a club, see a hot girl, I want to approach but surrounded by 4 hot friends, my mind is giving me all these negative reasons not to:
-I’ll get blown out,
-I don’t know what to say,
-I’ll look stupid,
-She’s gonna look at me like a retard, and pull that face girls do like uhhh, get away from me, you freak.

Then I stop and think, ok these things are gonna happen (they might not, probably won’t) but I’m accepting them as my mind is fearing them, I’m accepting them, accepting that they will happen.

Am I ok with this?

Yes I am, there’s nothing I can do about it, might as well approach.

At this point my mind is mostly silenced; I have taken its warnings aboard agreed that they will happen, and Im cool with it.

And I approach. Because I was cool with all the negative shit my mind came up with, I didn’t react negatively to anything the girl did.



This isnt about failure, but about accepting the fact that you probably will fail (failure in pickup is as simple as you and the girl not clicking). And when you accept that you will be totally relaxed about women.

One of the main reason most guys are nervous around women is the fear of, "If I go up to her and say something and it doesnt go well I've ruined my chance with her, Ill fuck up with her.". Its just completely stupid, cos if you dont approach you wont get a chance with her, nothing is gonna give you the chanace with her, except your approaching her.

When you relise yeah Ill probably ruin my chance with her, so what, you approach without fear.
__________________
Ozzie Bootcamp Alumni - Bootcamp Review | London Crew Vegas Journal 2010 | London Crew Vegas Journal 2011 | The London Crew | The Hunt for Fake Boobs |

"As our awesomeness grows, I find it difficult to acknowledge things that arent awesome"
Matt.

"Im so hot"
Goran~

"Oh my god, you look like something out of a magazine"
Moderately attractive chick stroking my ego.
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#1
Paris Boum Boum

Paris Boum Boum

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/02/2009 | Posts: 2948

You're on some cool shit lately. 

What do you answer to the question : why would I approach if I KNOW there is no way it can work ?

Example: I see super hot girl, the hottest in the bar, but I am not warmed up, I am a bit stressed, and now I know I have to perform, and I am too nervous, so I know there is no way for me to succesfully pick up that girl. Why would I approach her now ? Why would I be so masochistic ?
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#2
Phelim

Phelim

Senior Member

Join Date: 10/15/2009 | Posts: 208

Paris Boum Boum wrote:

What do you answer to the question : why would I approach if I KNOW there is no way it can work ?
You never 'KNOW' there is no way something can work. No matter how little confidence you have, history is full of success stories that defy all odds.
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#3

tgbrfv

Member

Join Date: 08/17/2010 | Posts: 34

Cool article - I'll implement what you've said in here and on your other thread and see how it works out for me.

Cheers
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#4
Goran~

Goran~

Trusted Member

Join Date: 03/11/2009 | Posts: 1238

Paris Boum Boum wrote:
You're on some cool shit lately. 

What do you answer to the question : why would I approach if I KNOW there is no way it can work ?

Example: I see super hot girl, the hottest in the bar, but I am not warmed up, I am a bit stressed, and now I know I have to perform, and I am too nervous, so I know there is no way for me to succesfully pick up that girl. Why would I approach her now ? Why would I be so masochistic ?
EDIT.

I answered your question but relised fter I did that I need to refine my Article a little, it has not come out in writing as it was in my mind.
__________________
Ozzie Bootcamp Alumni - Bootcamp Review | London Crew Vegas Journal 2010 | London Crew Vegas Journal 2011 | The London Crew | The Hunt for Fake Boobs |

"As our awesomeness grows, I find it difficult to acknowledge things that arent awesome"
Matt.

"Im so hot"
Goran~

"Oh my god, you look like something out of a magazine"
Moderately attractive chick stroking my ego.
Login or register to post.
#5
SouffléHead

SouffléHead

Respected Member

Join Date: 09/01/2011 | Posts: 321

Interesting read, I don't share this mindset though. I believe that all interaction will go awesome. Those that didn't go anywhere, those that were a blow out, well I believe that the girl got unlucky. She would have had a great time if things would have gone further. She really would have. Also her misfortune is some other girl's lucky day!

Later on I'll evaluate my performance in terms of what I could have done better, where I drop my values or freaked them out, but in the club everything will go well.
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#6
Goran~

Goran~

Trusted Member

Join Date: 03/11/2009 | Posts: 1238

SouffléHead wrote:
Interesting read, I don't share this mindset though. I believe that all interaction will go awesome. Those that didn't go anywhere, those that were a blow out, well I believe that the girl got unlucky. She would have had a great time if things would have gone further. She really would have. Also her misfortune is some other girl's lucky day!

Later on I'll evaluate my performance in terms of what I could have done better, where I drop my values or freaked them out, but in the club everything will go well.
Yeah thats cool. I have to refine the article as it did not come out as it was in my mind, lol. premature ejacuposting!
__________________
Ozzie Bootcamp Alumni - Bootcamp Review | London Crew Vegas Journal 2010 | London Crew Vegas Journal 2011 | The London Crew | The Hunt for Fake Boobs |

"As our awesomeness grows, I find it difficult to acknowledge things that arent awesome"
Matt.

"Im so hot"
Goran~

"Oh my god, you look like something out of a magazine"
Moderately attractive chick stroking my ego.
Login or register to post.
#7
SouffléHead

SouffléHead

Respected Member

Join Date: 09/01/2011 | Posts: 321

Agh it's in my eyes!
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#8
Goran~

Goran~

Trusted Member

Join Date: 03/11/2009 | Posts: 1238

Paris Boum Boum wrote:
You're on some cool shit lately. 

What do you answer to the question : why would I approach if I KNOW there is no way it can work ?

Example: I see super hot girl, the hottest in the bar, but I am not warmed up, I am a bit stressed, and now I know I have to perform, and I am too nervous, so I know there is no way for me to succesfully pick up that girl. Why would I approach her now ? Why would I be so masochistic ?
This could answer you rquestion:

Most stock traders that are winners, the best guys, (which is 10% of the guys), make most of their money on a small percentage of all the stocks they trade. If they make 100 trades in a year, they make their big bucks on about 7 trades. They lose money on many, and sometimes on most of them. But on 5-7 trades they win big!

Same with girls, even though you expect her to be mean and blow you out, you never know if she will be one of the 20% that end up going home with you!

But because you expected her to be mean, and were ok with it, you had no reason to act cool to impress her, no reason to be nervous approaching her, and If she was a you dealt it with indiference because you were expecting it from her. And in the end maybe you pulled her.

Seriously, If you think about it.

Theres a group of ten people, and you want to approach, your negative thaughts might be:

They will ignore me. They will make fun of me. They will tell me to fuck off.

Most guys approach ignoring these thaughts and they end up nervous and reacting badly to the scenareo.

But If you agreed that yes, these things were gonna happen as if it was a normal thing to happen, then you will not react badly to them, as you already knew they were gonna happen. If its gonna happen its gonna happen whatever i do, so I might aswell do it as it will help me grow. And if they reacted positively to you, then thats cool too.

A fisherman casts his line into the water asuming that for the first few throws he will not catch anything (he hopes he will), he still throws it in, because he knows at some point he will get a fish. Otherwise he wouldve given up after the first throw failed.
__________________
Ozzie Bootcamp Alumni - Bootcamp Review | London Crew Vegas Journal 2010 | London Crew Vegas Journal 2011 | The London Crew | The Hunt for Fake Boobs |

"As our awesomeness grows, I find it difficult to acknowledge things that arent awesome"
Matt.

"Im so hot"
Goran~

"Oh my god, you look like something out of a magazine"
Moderately attractive chick stroking my ego.
Login or register to post.
#9
Paris Boum Boum

Paris Boum Boum

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/02/2009 | Posts: 2948

I agree wholeheartedly with your post, and in my first reply I was elaborating on why I think this is true. 

Then I remembered a super hot girl I saw 3 weeks ago. I was in the bar, and I was like "I should approach", but the night wasn't going so well, she was in a deep conversation with her friends, so I knew I was gonna bomb. I KNEW as in I knew there was no way I could hold a conversation in the yuck state I was in. So maybe it was only an impression, but frankly I don't see many girls open up to guys in their head like I was. 

So I remembered that and instead of keeping on elaborating on your post, I preferred to be honest and ask you the same question I asked myself at that moment, to see how you would answer it. 
Because at that time, it made no sense for me. I told myself "'yeah but in the long run it will be cool", but then I just thought '"ok so I'll just wait for the next one, there's no need to approach now then". At that precise moment, this made more sense to me, even though when I'm back home I know it wasn't the best option. 

BTW this answer is really, IMO, what enables your whole mindset to make sense. In an abstract way we know it's better to appraoch, because in the long run it works. But when you're in the field, I don't think about the long run that much. So what short term answer would you give that would prevent such a loser mindset to express itself that way ?  




Goran~ wrote:







Paris Boum Boum wrote:
You're on some cool shit lately. 

What do you answer to the question : why would I approach if I KNOW there is no way it can work ?

Example: I see super hot girl, the hottest in the bar, but I am not warmed up, I am a bit stressed, and now I know I have to perform, and I am too nervous, so I know there is no way for me to succesfully pick up that girl. Why would I approach her now ? Why would I be so masochistic ?
This could answer you rquestion:

Most stock traders that are winners, the best guys, (which is 10% of the guys), make most of their money on a small percentage of all the stocks they trade. If they make 100 trades in a year, they make their big bucks on about 7 trades. They lose money on many, and sometimes on most of them. But on 5-7 trades they win big!

Same with girls, even though you expect her to be mean and blow you out, you never know if she will be one of the 20% that end up going home with you!

But because you expected her to be mean, and were ok with it, you had no reason to act cool to impress her, no reason to be nervous approaching her, and If she was a you dealt it with indiference because you were expecting it from her. And in the end maybe you pulled her.

Seriously, If you think about it.

Theres a group of ten people, and you want to approach, your negative thaughts might be:

They will ignore me. They will make fun of me. They will tell me to fuck off.

Most guys approach ignoring these thaughts and they end up nervous and reacting badly to the scenareo.

But If you agreed that yes, these things were gonna happen as if it was a normal thing to happen, then you will not react badly to them, as you already knew they were gonna happen. If its gonna happen its gonna happen whatever i do, so I might aswell do it as it will help me grow. And if they reacted positively to you, then thats cool too.

A fisherman casts his line into the water asuming that for the first few throws he will not catch anything (he hopes he will), he still throws it in, because he knows at some point he will get a fish. Otherwise he wouldve given up after the first throw failed.

EDIT: as I am re-reading the post I realize that the focus should be on "you never know". This is something I've never focused on, nor internalized. See I take action even though I think I KNOW it won't work (and oftentimes it works lol). But when you honestly think there is no way to know, you come off as less anxious, so you are more succesful. 
So I think I have my answer here. Thanks for your clarification, and for sharing your ideas.  
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#10
Goran~

Goran~

Trusted Member

Join Date: 03/11/2009 | Posts: 1238

Paris Boum Boum wrote:
I agree wholeheartedly with your post, and in my first reply I was elaborating on why I think this is true. 

Then I remembered a super hot girl I saw 3 weeks ago. I was in the bar, and I was like "I should approach", but the night wasn't going so well, she was in a deep conversation with her friends, so I knew I was gonna bomb. I KNEW as in I knew there was no way I could hold a conversation in the yuck state I was in. So maybe it was only an impression, but frankly I don't see many girls open up to guys in their head like I was. 

So I remembered that and instead of keeping on elaborating on your post, I preferred to be honest and ask you the same question I asked myself at that moment, to see how you would answer it. 
Because at that time, it made no sense for me. I told myself "'yeah but in the long run it will be cool", but then I just thought '"ok so I'll just wait for the next one, there's no need to approach now then". At that precise moment, this made more sense to me, even though when I'm back home I know it wasn't the best option. 

BTW this answer is really, IMO, what enables your whole mindset to make sense. In an abstract way we know it's better to appraoch, because in the long run it works. But when you're in the field, I don't think about the long run that much. So what short term answer would you give that would prevent such a loser mindset to express itself that way ?  




Goran~ wrote:







Paris Boum Boum wrote:
You're on some cool shit lately. 

What do you answer to the question : why would I approach if I KNOW there is no way it can work ?

Example: I see super hot girl, the hottest in the bar, but I am not warmed up, I am a bit stressed, and now I know I have to perform, and I am too nervous, so I know there is no way for me to succesfully pick up that girl. Why would I approach her now ? Why would I be so masochistic ?
This could answer you rquestion:

Most stock traders that are winners, the best guys, (which is 10% of the guys), make most of their money on a small percentage of all the stocks they trade. If they make 100 trades in a year, they make their big bucks on about 7 trades. They lose money on many, and sometimes on most of them. But on 5-7 trades they win big!

Same with girls, even though you expect her to be mean and blow you out, you never know if she will be one of the 20% that end up going home with you!

But because you expected her to be mean, and were ok with it, you had no reason to act cool to impress her, no reason to be nervous approaching her, and If she was a you dealt it with indiference because you were expecting it from her. And in the end maybe you pulled her.

Seriously, If you think about it.

Theres a group of ten people, and you want to approach, your negative thaughts might be:

They will ignore me. They will make fun of me. They will tell me to fuck off.

Most guys approach ignoring these thaughts and they end up nervous and reacting badly to the scenareo.

But If you agreed that yes, these things were gonna happen as if it was a normal thing to happen, then you will not react badly to them, as you already knew they were gonna happen. If its gonna happen its gonna happen whatever i do, so I might aswell do it as it will help me grow. And if they reacted positively to you, then thats cool too.

A fisherman casts his line into the water asuming that for the first few throws he will not catch anything (he hopes he will), he still throws it in, because he knows at some point he will get a fish. Otherwise he wouldve given up after the first throw failed.

EDIT: as I am re-reading the post I realize that the focus should be on "you never know". This is something I've never focused on, nor internalized. See I take action even though I think I KNOW it won't work (and oftentimes it works lol). But when you honestly think there is no way to know, you come off as less anxious, so you are more succesful. 
So I think I have my answer here. Thanks for your clarification, and for sharing your ideas.  
Leme illustrate with a quick example from last weekend:

Standing in a club, see a hot girl, I want to approach surrounded by 4 hot girls, but my mind is giving me all these negative reasons not to:
-I’ll get blown out,
-I don’t know what to say,
-I’ll look stupid,
-She’s gonna look at me like a retard, and pull that face girls do like uhhh, get away from me, you freak.

Then I stop and think, ok these things are gonna happen (they might not, probably won’t) but I’m accepting them as my mind is fearing them, I’m accepting them, accepting that they will happen.

Am I ok with this?

Yes I am, there’s nothing I can do about it, might as well approach.

At this point my mind is mostly silenced; I have taken its warnings aboard agreed that they will happen, and Im cool with it.

And I approach. Because I was cool with all the negative shit my mind came up with, I didn’t react negatively to anything the girl did.
__________________
Ozzie Bootcamp Alumni - Bootcamp Review | London Crew Vegas Journal 2010 | London Crew Vegas Journal 2011 | The London Crew | The Hunt for Fake Boobs |

"As our awesomeness grows, I find it difficult to acknowledge things that arent awesome"
Matt.

"Im so hot"
Goran~

"Oh my god, you look like something out of a magazine"
Moderately attractive chick stroking my ego.
Login or register to post.