THE FORUMS

December 10th, 2016
Notes on making the transition.
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FoodBuddha~

FoodBuddha~

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Join Date: 07/11/2007 | Posts: 3978

All the self-development in the world doesn't give you the complete toolbox. You transition from fun guy to fuckable guy mainly by learning how to give her a sense of her competition. As soon as women get even a WHIFF of their competition from your other girls, they go bat shit crazy with desire. It's an absolute fact of being a primate and a mammal. You have to also be fuckworthy in your own right: generally mentally together, funny, a shining personality, dominant, basically relaxed, not too socially awkward, etc.

The key switch, though, what you are looking for, is this thing called becoming a "player."

Honestly, I hate that word. Player connotates people who hate other people and themselves so much that they will childishly play one off the other, manipulating people like little chess pieces, just to selfishly get what they desire. Player connotates someone who doesn't care if he destroys lives, just as long as he gets the outcome he wants. That's not the kind of player I think of when I am describing the ideal guy-who-gets-girls. But it's the best word for what we're talking about.

The 'ideal' player has his own shit together like I described, and his goals in mind, but he also understands two things very deeply, in an operational moment-by-moment way:
1. Conversation: the emotional cadence to conversations with women specifically, and people in general.
2. Social Dynamics: as in how people relate to one another, what motivates them, what demotivates them, what actions are reality-altering, what actions are meaningless.

That said, primary key is building abundance of women and sex opportunities into your life. Building an abundance of social opportunities into your life. So much so that on any day of the week, you can say, "Nah, I'm not going there, I'm going here to X place tonight with X girls." Or something along those lines. Or when you want a 1-on-1 with a girl, you can look at your options and go, hrrmmm, there's Jennifer and Jessica and Grace.... (and 10 other girls)... and tonight, I think it's going to be.... Corrine. Call her up, she comes right over because she hasn't heard from you in 3 or 4 days and she's been thinking about you the entire time.

Nevermind that at first, the 15 girls you have on tap are all 7's... the abundance will take care of itself as long as you keep the ball rolling. When 8's catch wind that they have competition from a bunch of 7's they go: I wanna fuck him. And so over time you can convert your 7's to all 8's, and 8's to 9's, etc etc. and filter out the less desirable women from your rotation. The key is to strike up the abundance, and figure out subtle ways to make sure they all know who their competition is. Not every detail, and not necessarily in-her-face (unless she's pretty non-intelligent) and go from there. Part of them knowing their competition is your utter silence and unreachability at times. And then when you shine your attention on her, it is TOTAL. But just for a little while... heh heh heh.

Is this cruel and unusual treatment for women? No. It's what people do. And it's what you'll have to do, to transition from fun guy who occasionally gets laid, to guy who has his pick from a large stable of phine phillies.
__________________
-------

The only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved, desirous of everything
at the same time, the ones who never yawn
or say a commonplace thing, but
burn, burn, burn,
like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding
like spiders ac r o s s the stars.

-Kerouac
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#1
Paris Boum Boum

Paris Boum Boum

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Join Date: 04/02/2009 | Posts: 2948

Cool post. 

I think girls are thankful for experiencing the animalistic part of their being. What you describe here is key for that. It's not about words and clever jokes anymore, it's about instinct and survival. 

In my personal experience I've often been on the fence in that transition because assuming fully those behaviors will fuck up my identity / sense of self. It's kind of the last frontier. If you want to attract the hottest you have to not give a shit to the max. But in doing that you have to all the last layers of neediness you have inside. If neediness is the only way you know of, it can be somewhat difficult. So it takes time. 

But the funny thing is that girls won't resent you for being as a player  as much as for being a chode. So in the end it's a choice you have to make. 
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#2
Tru_Natural

Tru_Natural

Senior Member

Join Date: 10/12/2011 | Posts: 127

 Great post. Everything you're saying is true, but it's getting the ball rolling, and getting that first 3 or 4 go-to girls that I think most beginners have problems with. It only gets easier guys- TAKE ACTION! GO OUT! 

Also- love this part: 

" the 15 girls you have on tap are all 7's... the abundance will take care of itself as long as you keep the ball rolling. When 8's catch wind that they have competition from a bunch of 7's they go: I wanna fuck him. And so over time you can convert your 7's to all 8's, and 8's to 9's, etc etc. and filter out the less desirable women from your rotation."
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#3
MastahDeft

MastahDeft

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Join Date: 04/08/2011 | Posts: 1352

Nice.
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#4
FoodBuddha~

FoodBuddha~

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Join Date: 07/11/2007 | Posts: 3978

Tru_Natural wrote:

" the 15 girls you have on tap are all 7's... the abundance will take care of itself as long as you keep the ball rolling. When 8's catch wind that they have competition from a bunch of 7's they go: I wanna fuck him. And so over time you can convert your 7's to all 8's, and 8's to 9's, etc etc. and filter out the less desirable women from your rotation."

I made it sound too simplistic and mechanical, just to make the point.  But in real life, there are ups and downs, and it's not a straight conversion from 7's to 8's to 9's etc, like following a recipe.  That said, there IS a filtration process that you can apply to keep the best girls (and friends!) on tap for fun whenever you want.  Am I sitting here with an Excel spreadsheet of all the people I know and sorting them and only calling the ones at the top of my little list?  Noooo, I'm not doing that.  But, over time, the effect is the same - the good ones stay in the rotation, the flakes, psychos and shitty ones get weeded out.

How do you get that first 3 or 4 going?  You do have to start somewhere, maybe with fatties or something, but if you're at the beginning at least START and DON'T STOP.  Women are women.  Even a fat girl can teach you a lot about how girls process information and react to things.  You gotta start somewhere.
__________________
-------

The only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved, desirous of everything
at the same time, the ones who never yawn
or say a commonplace thing, but
burn, burn, burn,
like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding
like spiders ac r o s s the stars.

-Kerouac
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#5

Macavity

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/25/2009 | Posts: 2511

I dont have experience of fucking loads of women in rotation and so I sometimes find it hard to believe that really hot women get really jealous and competative of other girls when around a cool guy. They put on these fronts that make them look like they're perfectly not-needy and totally independant and it actually makes me doubt whether they get like that. Have you had experiences or any story's of where girls that guys fall-head-over heels for, like 9's or 10's, get super jealous and competative? 

Like the one Tyler talks about in this video at 3:30 seconds in: 

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#6
JFM

JFM

Trusted Member

Join Date: 12/13/2007 | Posts: 2236

Without even knowing it, I've always had a wall about this idea of abundance and "rotation". But it's less of a prick than a nice guy to go this way. The nice guy is using GUILT as a way to suck value. To get approval. He doesn't yet have the balls to shine. And the truth? BATSHIT WITH DESIRE over guy that has options!
So there it is....
Great post as always FB. Thanks.
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#7
Tyler

Tyler

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Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 8726

Great contribution to the forum man, thanks!  Totally bang on.

Tyler
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#8

champ

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Join Date: 06/19/2011 | Posts: 891

FoodBuddha I have a question. Is "emotional cadence" like 1 step forward 2 steps back? Also ranging her emotions until you realize what works best? I understand what might work in one context might not work in another. I'm starting to really notice where people are emotionally not just what they say and do. It seems to me that peoples emotions and how people's emotions play off each other are like a little world inside of a world lol. What does cadence mean in the way you're using the word?  Thanks for your help.
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#9
Kuz

Kuz

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Join Date: 09/05/2006 | Posts: 2661

 Great post. Everyone should read.
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Hai!!!

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#10
FoodBuddha~

FoodBuddha~

Trusted Member

Join Date: 07/11/2007 | Posts: 3978

champ wrote:
FoodBuddha I have a question. Is "emotional cadence" like 1 step forward 2 steps back? Also ranging her emotions until you realize what works best? I understand what might work in one context might not work in another. I'm starting to really notice where people are emotionally not just what they say and do. It seems to me that peoples emotions and how people's emotions play off each other are like a little world inside of a world lol. What does cadence mean in the way you're using the word?  Thanks for your help.
I'm talking about being a good conversationalist.  Know how to open, how to keep things going, how to use breaking rapport and neutral rapport, how not to sound artificial, and also know when to tell a story, go off on a tangent or to really connect with her personally, when to throw in something cocky and funny, when to be a little self-deprecating, and most importantly how to sexually escalate things and get physical with her while you are having this conversation.
__________________
-------

The only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved, desirous of everything
at the same time, the ones who never yawn
or say a commonplace thing, but
burn, burn, burn,
like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding
like spiders ac r o s s the stars.

-Kerouac
Login or register to post.