THE FORUMS
Turned down two sure lays tonight. One girl has been crushing on me since 6 months - not that attracted to her. The other one, she's really cute. Great body, turned her down because one of my friends fucked her a while ago. We had a party at school, at the end she was lying on top of me on a sofa whispering into my ear. She asked me what was up, I was 100% honest. She gave me a boner, so I told her straight up: I think you're cute and I'm horny. But I can't do anything because one of my friends have been with you before. She REALLY appreciated my honesty. Felt good :)
Had fun this night, kinda durring around - douche mode. At one point I'm sitting on a sofa, two girls beside me. One is like sleeping on me, the other one is trying to provoce me "you're so boring, you won't dance" . That's the girl from my FR a week ago, the girl I made out with. Was just self-amusing, she was asking me stuff like what I want to do with my life and I replied with being a garbage man and so forth. Not giving a fuck about what she thought about me. When she said I was boring I just said "yeah, it's who I am. Sometimes I'm boring, other times I'm strong. Sometimes I'm also insecure, it's just who I am." Didn't hide anything, just put myself out there. Even I was attracted to me!
Me + 2 friends made a song earlier which we performed to the people there. It went HORRIBLE :D we fucking sucked, but it was fun. Reference experience - you wont get killed for singing bad!
I'm not sure, but I might be moving in the right direction. I might be kidding myself, but it feels like I've been more "me" lately. Awesome :)
There was one girl there this night I've had mad sexual tension with in class. Unfortunately she left early - didn't know anything about it. We shared a few laughs during the night, sitting next to each other - she turned her friends down several times to dance just to keep talking with me. We'll see if anything happens, she's reeaaally cute (but I'm still "stronger"). I'm not putting ANY value on this whatsoever. If anything happens - it happens if not, I'm 100% fine with it :)
Think that's it for the night. A lot of other things happened aswell, but I can't recall them right now. Thank you RSDN. Peace
Had fun this night, kinda durring around - douche mode. At one point I'm sitting on a sofa, two girls beside me. One is like sleeping on me, the other one is trying to provoce me "you're so boring, you won't dance" . That's the girl from my FR a week ago, the girl I made out with. Was just self-amusing, she was asking me stuff like what I want to do with my life and I replied with being a garbage man and so forth. Not giving a fuck about what she thought about me. When she said I was boring I just said "yeah, it's who I am. Sometimes I'm boring, other times I'm strong. Sometimes I'm also insecure, it's just who I am." Didn't hide anything, just put myself out there. Even I was attracted to me!
Me + 2 friends made a song earlier which we performed to the people there. It went HORRIBLE :D we fucking sucked, but it was fun. Reference experience - you wont get killed for singing bad!
I'm not sure, but I might be moving in the right direction. I might be kidding myself, but it feels like I've been more "me" lately. Awesome :)
There was one girl there this night I've had mad sexual tension with in class. Unfortunately she left early - didn't know anything about it. We shared a few laughs during the night, sitting next to each other - she turned her friends down several times to dance just to keep talking with me. We'll see if anything happens, she's reeaaally cute (but I'm still "stronger"). I'm not putting ANY value on this whatsoever. If anything happens - it happens if not, I'm 100% fine with it :)
Think that's it for the night. A lot of other things happened aswell, but I can't recall them right now. Thank you RSDN. Peace
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Oh yeah, that's right.. My friend who pulled my "cherish" last week texted me a few days ago and asked me if it was okay for him to hook up with her. I told him (on text - laaaameee) exactly what I've been thinking and feeling. Felt good to get it off my chest and he understood to 100%, just as I thought. And my elbows is okay for the moment, hopefully they'll last during future classes of MMA as well. Good night :)
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I'M BAAAAAACK!! Damn good to finally approach again when out :) I'm just starting to realize that I have more fun sober and approaching than being drunk and durrring. Effing sweet. I have more energy, am more alert and much more attractive. Had such a good time tonight. Was hung over as fuck during the day (from yesterday) but it didn' stop me from going out.
Went to a pantsy schmantsy place in the beginning of the night. Did NOT feel it, negative thought loops - feeling like shit. But I approached anyway, two cuties (2 sets are the easiest for me) standing at the bar. They were a bit cold in the beginning but warmed up after a while. I just expressed myself, was quite a bit cocky, but still warm, and they were feeling me. Turned out they were 26 and 27, I'm 20. Limiting belief - can't close chicks this age. Talked for a while then bounced. Talked with my friends when guess who the FUCK walked into the club?!
Mystery
With students. My friends took some photos with him. I shook his hand and said a few words. Should've talked longer with him, but was not really comfortable with it :p he felt warm, not stuck up or anything. Was cool.
Then we bounced to another club. Had a fucking BLAST. We owned the dancefloor, shouting, doing wicked moves and had a great time! Ended up dancing with a smooookiiiiiing blonde. Honestly, don't think I've ever danced with a girl this hot before. Tight top, big bouncing boobs (natural) and a sweet ass anda tongue piercing. I LOVE TONGUE PERCINGS. My dance floor game is sucky though, should take some salsa classes. I don't know "what to do". Left every now and then, but every time I came back she immediately came to dance with me. Had fun (almost felt like Distant Light, hehe) but did not escalate properly or go for the close. She was hanging around with some dude at a table making out (said one of my friends), guess I had it in the back of my head. Shouldn't matter though :) damn she was hot, exactly the type I want to fuck properly. Interesting fact - I have a HARD time with eye contact when I'm looking at girls. It's an instinct for me to look away directly and feel bad. If I am in a conversation I don't have ANY problem with it, I love the tension and connection it brings. But looking across the room - it's hard. Any thoughts about this? Been trying to do this during the day also, but no success so far.
Approached good (by comparison with my recent nights) and it was hooking hard. Still suck at closing though, it's a shame. My life would change if I just even started trying.
I'm at home right now, typing this up leaning against the wall on my bed. I feel great. Not happy or energetic, but pleasure. Awesome pleasure! I could've stayed in tonight, went to bed early. But I didn't, I fucking conquered my feelings - went out and turned shit 180 degrees around. Love how I can change my world like this :)
Met an army buddies sister at the club also. This is where I feel how good it is to be growing and learning how to connect deeper and be a more genuine person. Went in to wing one of my friends, he was talking with 2 girls. I go in "HEEEEYOOOOOHHH" and one of the girls start pointing at me. I growl and snap at her fingers a few times (totally retarded but sooo much fun) when she says she recognizes me. I stop and stare at her, thinking if I've approached her before (it has happened a few times now, hehe) but then she even says my name and I directly realize it's my old army buddies sister! I've met her once before, like 8 months ago. Unbelievable that she remembers me! We shoot the shit - cool girl. I help her get through some angst (she called a dude and felt like she had made a fool of herself). She said she had talked to 3 persons before me, but I actually managed to help her. Feels good to be able to give something back :)
Another highlight: opened a sweet blonde sitting on a chair. I was feeling myself and she was feeling me. Damn shame I left so early without closing.. Need to get this handled. If anyone has any tips - I'm all ears :)
Good night RSDN, keep rocking!
Went to a pantsy schmantsy place in the beginning of the night. Did NOT feel it, negative thought loops - feeling like shit. But I approached anyway, two cuties (2 sets are the easiest for me) standing at the bar. They were a bit cold in the beginning but warmed up after a while. I just expressed myself, was quite a bit cocky, but still warm, and they were feeling me. Turned out they were 26 and 27, I'm 20. Limiting belief - can't close chicks this age. Talked for a while then bounced. Talked with my friends when guess who the FUCK walked into the club?!
Mystery
With students. My friends took some photos with him. I shook his hand and said a few words. Should've talked longer with him, but was not really comfortable with it :p he felt warm, not stuck up or anything. Was cool.
Then we bounced to another club. Had a fucking BLAST. We owned the dancefloor, shouting, doing wicked moves and had a great time! Ended up dancing with a smooookiiiiiing blonde. Honestly, don't think I've ever danced with a girl this hot before. Tight top, big bouncing boobs (natural) and a sweet ass anda tongue piercing. I LOVE TONGUE PERCINGS. My dance floor game is sucky though, should take some salsa classes. I don't know "what to do". Left every now and then, but every time I came back she immediately came to dance with me. Had fun (almost felt like Distant Light, hehe) but did not escalate properly or go for the close. She was hanging around with some dude at a table making out (said one of my friends), guess I had it in the back of my head. Shouldn't matter though :) damn she was hot, exactly the type I want to fuck properly. Interesting fact - I have a HARD time with eye contact when I'm looking at girls. It's an instinct for me to look away directly and feel bad. If I am in a conversation I don't have ANY problem with it, I love the tension and connection it brings. But looking across the room - it's hard. Any thoughts about this? Been trying to do this during the day also, but no success so far.
Approached good (by comparison with my recent nights) and it was hooking hard. Still suck at closing though, it's a shame. My life would change if I just even started trying.
I'm at home right now, typing this up leaning against the wall on my bed. I feel great. Not happy or energetic, but pleasure. Awesome pleasure! I could've stayed in tonight, went to bed early. But I didn't, I fucking conquered my feelings - went out and turned shit 180 degrees around. Love how I can change my world like this :)
Met an army buddies sister at the club also. This is where I feel how good it is to be growing and learning how to connect deeper and be a more genuine person. Went in to wing one of my friends, he was talking with 2 girls. I go in "HEEEEYOOOOOHHH" and one of the girls start pointing at me. I growl and snap at her fingers a few times (totally retarded but sooo much fun) when she says she recognizes me. I stop and stare at her, thinking if I've approached her before (it has happened a few times now, hehe) but then she even says my name and I directly realize it's my old army buddies sister! I've met her once before, like 8 months ago. Unbelievable that she remembers me! We shoot the shit - cool girl. I help her get through some angst (she called a dude and felt like she had made a fool of herself). She said she had talked to 3 persons before me, but I actually managed to help her. Feels good to be able to give something back :)
Another highlight: opened a sweet blonde sitting on a chair. I was feeling myself and she was feeling me. Damn shame I left so early without closing.. Need to get this handled. If anyone has any tips - I'm all ears :)
Good night RSDN, keep rocking!
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Back in my small hometown. Went up with a few buddies (cute girls and cool guys) and we had a blast. I'm tuning more and more into that bringing the party. Honestly, I don't think it would've been as fun if I hadn't been there. Moving towards becoming the prize - awesome. Didn't approach anything (it feels so fucking weird when I'm with friends. I'm not being honest to me, I want to, but honestly - I don't want to look like a fool infront of people I know). Still felt like I was being more me, that's a clear fucking win.
Today I had a deep discussion with both my parents. I sat down at the kitchen table and cried. I fucking wept like a little heartbroken school girl. I've read Radical Honesty (READ THE BOOK) and decided to practice the teachings. I confessed things (driving drunk, drugs, alcohol, lies) and told my father and mother things I've kept hidden for so long. How his excessive drinking/alcoholism has affected me, me feeling shameful and guilty for a sexual experience when I was 5 years old and got caught. I lost my virginity when I was 5 years. Pimpmode anyone?
A bunch of other stuff aswell. Felt really good to be honest with them, not hide what I've done or hide ME . This is something I've had great trouble with before, confronting feelings right up. This is why I'm in this community. Sure, I want to fuck hot chicks, be a pimp and look cool infront of other people. But most of all I want to "find" me (cutting the bullshit) and just spread my energy inhibited into the world. Be a cocky, cool, fun, sexual, aggressive, chill, awesome, honest dude who wears his heart on his sleeves.
Might hang out with some girls today, just chill and shoot the shit. Feeling a bit worn out from the crying and confessing, it's good for me. I want to do the same with my brothers eventually when I see them, have some pretty emotionally important things to discuss with one of them.
God bless you RSDN, I love you.
Today I had a deep discussion with both my parents. I sat down at the kitchen table and cried. I fucking wept like a little heartbroken school girl. I've read Radical Honesty (READ THE BOOK) and decided to practice the teachings. I confessed things (driving drunk, drugs, alcohol, lies) and told my father and mother things I've kept hidden for so long. How his excessive drinking/alcoholism has affected me, me feeling shameful and guilty for a sexual experience when I was 5 years old and got caught. I lost my virginity when I was 5 years. Pimpmode anyone?
A bunch of other stuff aswell. Felt really good to be honest with them, not hide what I've done or hide ME . This is something I've had great trouble with before, confronting feelings right up. This is why I'm in this community. Sure, I want to fuck hot chicks, be a pimp and look cool infront of other people. But most of all I want to "find" me (cutting the bullshit) and just spread my energy inhibited into the world. Be a cocky, cool, fun, sexual, aggressive, chill, awesome, honest dude who wears his heart on his sleeves.
Might hang out with some girls today, just chill and shoot the shit. Feeling a bit worn out from the crying and confessing, it's good for me. I want to do the same with my brothers eventually when I see them, have some pretty emotionally important things to discuss with one of them.
God bless you RSDN, I love you.
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Waaaahhh!! Was out last night with some buddies. MAN it was fun! 1.5 dollar/beer - dangerous as fuck. Got pretty loaded, talked to lots and lots of people, was extremely immersed in the moment. At some point I just snap out of it and look around. I'm sitting at a table with 5 cute girls and realize girls have come and went the whole night to this table. Also - it feels as if I've internalized a lot of things that didn't feel 100% natural before. Like little jokes and mannerism, they're a part of me now. Sweet.
Dudes here don't have game, didn't really realize it before. But now it feels like I've grown a little bit at least, so in a bunch of cases I just go "why did I think they were above me before?".
Hung out especially with one cute girl (had a crush on her in high school, hehe. AMAZING ass). We shoot the shit, laugh our fucking asses off and have a great time generally. Too bad she has a boyfriend, luckily enough I'm not attached to her. SWEET. Gotta go, just wanted to throw a quick update here, going back to the big city on sunday again. Pretty motivated to HIT IT. Peace RSDN!
Dudes here don't have game, didn't really realize it before. But now it feels like I've grown a little bit at least, so in a bunch of cases I just go "why did I think they were above me before?".
Hung out especially with one cute girl (had a crush on her in high school, hehe. AMAZING ass). We shoot the shit, laugh our fucking asses off and have a great time generally. Too bad she has a boyfriend, luckily enough I'm not attached to her. SWEET. Gotta go, just wanted to throw a quick update here, going back to the big city on sunday again. Pretty motivated to HIT IT. Peace RSDN!
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Last night out in my hometown! As always- had a BLAAAAAAAST!!! Interesting - got opened by some cute girls. Just kicked back and chilled with my friends (I might be shitting myself but it feels like I'm muuuuuch more fun to hang around now). Had a pre-party at a girls place. Real nice house, big yard, nice kitchen. Sat around the table while I was being obnoxious and talking about sex and what not :D awesome to be able to let loose and bring other people into my headspace. I have NOT been able to do this to this degree before. Must mean I've progressed. I sure hope so.
At the club I danced some, talked A LOT and did a couple of shots with one of my buddies. Got pretty drunk (haven't drank this much in a while) but not too overtly. One girl I've chitchatted with now and then and approached me at the smoking patio - "It's the STAAAAR!!!". I've got a nickname (I've got nothing to do with it) because I stepped on an empty dancefloor here like 2 years ago and got 10 chicks dancing with me in like 3 min, then I left it. Ever since then I've been known as "The Star" to some people. It's nothing I want to try to live up to, but I sure as hell feel the pressure. Oh well. Got a thumbs up from the girl who called me The Star tonight 'cause I was dancing and having FUN FUN FUN with a lot of girls. Have I been around with so much girls befor? I don't know. One of my friends kept telling me how I was a chick magnet. Yeah, sure, BUT I DIDN'T FUCK. I DON'T FUCK IN THIS TOWN.
I'm not pissed off, it's totally okay. I don't approach here, I don't get the fuck. It's OK :) going to the big city tomorrow again, and I'm going to dive right into it again. I've recharged my batteries this week, just chilling and having fun with buddies.
Oh yeah, I got mad at the bar. Stood there for like 15 minutes, people came before me and got their orders handled. One hot girl (top notch) stood like 2 meters away from me. As soon as she got the bar, she got to order. I let out a frustrated shriek. She turns to me and asks if I've been waiting for long and yada yada yada. I go away and bump into her. She starts talking to me and says that she told the bartender that I'm next in line, the bartender said "no way, he is NOT" :D wonder why the bartender hates me, hehe. We bullshit some, I leave soon. Why? Felt like I couldn't do anything with her, she's so much older and supposedly more "mature". Bullshit thinking, she was obviously interested in me. DAMMIT :D
Anyway, I had a GREAT night. So much fun and adventures. Sometimes I felt caught of guard because of the level of hotness of some of the girls I had fun with, but I soon regained my composure. They're just girls for gods sake. Trying to focus on the positive things that happened during the nights, what Julien talked about newly. Next best thing except being 100% present. Take care RSDN! I'll report back soon with some approaches.
At the club I danced some, talked A LOT and did a couple of shots with one of my buddies. Got pretty drunk (haven't drank this much in a while) but not too overtly. One girl I've chitchatted with now and then and approached me at the smoking patio - "It's the STAAAAR!!!". I've got a nickname (I've got nothing to do with it) because I stepped on an empty dancefloor here like 2 years ago and got 10 chicks dancing with me in like 3 min, then I left it. Ever since then I've been known as "The Star" to some people. It's nothing I want to try to live up to, but I sure as hell feel the pressure. Oh well. Got a thumbs up from the girl who called me The Star tonight 'cause I was dancing and having FUN FUN FUN with a lot of girls. Have I been around with so much girls befor? I don't know. One of my friends kept telling me how I was a chick magnet. Yeah, sure, BUT I DIDN'T FUCK. I DON'T FUCK IN THIS TOWN.
I'm not pissed off, it's totally okay. I don't approach here, I don't get the fuck. It's OK :) going to the big city tomorrow again, and I'm going to dive right into it again. I've recharged my batteries this week, just chilling and having fun with buddies.
Oh yeah, I got mad at the bar. Stood there for like 15 minutes, people came before me and got their orders handled. One hot girl (top notch) stood like 2 meters away from me. As soon as she got the bar, she got to order. I let out a frustrated shriek. She turns to me and asks if I've been waiting for long and yada yada yada. I go away and bump into her. She starts talking to me and says that she told the bartender that I'm next in line, the bartender said "no way, he is NOT" :D wonder why the bartender hates me, hehe. We bullshit some, I leave soon. Why? Felt like I couldn't do anything with her, she's so much older and supposedly more "mature". Bullshit thinking, she was obviously interested in me. DAMMIT :D
Anyway, I had a GREAT night. So much fun and adventures. Sometimes I felt caught of guard because of the level of hotness of some of the girls I had fun with, but I soon regained my composure. They're just girls for gods sake. Trying to focus on the positive things that happened during the nights, what Julien talked about newly. Next best thing except being 100% present. Take care RSDN! I'll report back soon with some approaches.
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Gonna focus overtly on the positives from this night. Felt like shit at home, been feeling real blue all week. Adjusting to having pressures on me again. Will be ok soon enough. In order to have a good night I must approach early and keep going. I should not driInk alcohol (I do not anyway), I have much more energy when I'm sober, tearing it up on the dancefloor. Okay, so I went out tonight, haven't cold approached in about 3 weeks. Sure felt, RAS focusing on why it's impossible to approach. Need to just snap out of it and GO!
Going out tomorrow again, and I WILL muster the willpower needed. Peace!
Going out tomorrow again, and I WILL muster the willpower needed. Peace!
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Hanker wrote:
Today I had a deep discussion with both my parents. I sat down at the kitchen table and cried. I fucking wept like a little heartbroken school girl. I've read Radical Honesty (READ THE BOOK) and decided to practice the teachings. I confessed things (driving drunk, drugs, alcohol, lies) and told my father and mother things I've kept hidden for so long. How his excessive drinking/alcoholism has affected me, me feeling shameful and guilty for a sexual experience when I was 5 years old and got caught. I lost my virginity when I was 5 years. Pimpmode anyone?
A bunch of other stuff aswell. Felt really good to be honest with them, not hide what I've done or hide ME . This is something I've had great trouble with before, confronting feelings right up. This is why I'm in this community. Sure, I want to fuck hot chicks, be a pimp and look cool infront of other people. But most of all I want to "find" me (cutting the bullshit) and just spread my energy inhibited into the world. Be a cocky, cool, fun, sexual, aggressive, chill, awesome, honest dude who wears his heart on his sleeves.
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Damn dude this is incredibly admirable. I had been thinking of doing this even before I got into the community to get a deeper connection with my parents. I hope to work up the courage to do this in the near future.
Hanker wrote:
Today I had a deep discussion with both my parents. I sat down at the kitchen table and cried. I fucking wept like a little heartbroken school girl. I've read Radical Honesty (READ THE BOOK) and decided to practice the teachings. I confessed things (driving drunk, drugs, alcohol, lies) and told my father and mother things I've kept hidden for so long. How his excessive drinking/alcoholism has affected me, me feeling shameful and guilty for a sexual experience when I was 5 years old and got caught. I lost my virginity when I was 5 years. Pimpmode anyone?
A bunch of other stuff aswell. Felt really good to be honest with them, not hide what I've done or hide ME . This is something I've had great trouble with before, confronting feelings right up. This is why I'm in this community. Sure, I want to fuck hot chicks, be a pimp and look cool infront of other people. But most of all I want to "find" me (cutting the bullshit) and just spread my energy inhibited into the world. Be a cocky, cool, fun, sexual, aggressive, chill, awesome, honest dude who wears his heart on his sleeves.
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Damn dude this is incredibly admirable. I had been thinking of doing this even before I got into the community to get a deeper connection with my parents. I hope to work up the courage to do this in the near future.
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1st Bootcamp (Oct 13, 2011): www.rsdnation.com/node/202288/forum
1st 30 day challenge : http://www.rsdnation.com/node/208083/forum
2nd BC (Jun 14, 2012): www.rsdnation.com/node/232206/forum
Progress Journal: www.rsdnation.com/node/211535/forum
1st 30 day challenge : http://www.rsdnation.com/node/208083/forum
2nd BC (Jun 14, 2012): www.rsdnation.com/node/232206/forum
Progress Journal: www.rsdnation.com/node/211535/forum
Thanks for the support newstuff, means a lot to me :) I deeply encourage you to do it. My parents took it extremely well, I thought my mother would fall to pieces - she really appreciated my honesty. Good luck mustering the courage!
Rooouugh night. Oh my god, just as i wrote that my RAS snapped. I approached 10X more than last night. Sure - didn't really hit state or anything but I approached much more than last night! 2 different chicks were falling over me, some "mehs" and like 2 blow-outs. Approached good in the beginning but then became passive. Made a deal with myself after 1 hour of inactivity - 3 approaches and I can leave. Oh my god, the first one of them was hard to do. Mega resistance, which I overcame!!
Things to take away from tonight: keep approaching the entire night. Wandering around actually feels worse than getting blown out. Don't think about how you feel - throw yourself in there and see what happens. When standing at the bar, talk to whoevers next to you. It's very easy and keeps the juices flowing. Did well in this aspect tonight.
I went out, good. I approached more - EXCELLENT! Doesn't feel like I've made actual progress cold approaching-wise in a while, but I will keep crawling and I will get there. Sure enough soon I will snap up to the next level. The alternative is being doomed to be a chode in the club (but pretty badass in the other areas in life). I want everything.
Rooouugh night. Oh my god, just as i wrote that my RAS snapped. I approached 10X more than last night. Sure - didn't really hit state or anything but I approached much more than last night! 2 different chicks were falling over me, some "mehs" and like 2 blow-outs. Approached good in the beginning but then became passive. Made a deal with myself after 1 hour of inactivity - 3 approaches and I can leave. Oh my god, the first one of them was hard to do. Mega resistance, which I overcame!!
Things to take away from tonight: keep approaching the entire night. Wandering around actually feels worse than getting blown out. Don't think about how you feel - throw yourself in there and see what happens. When standing at the bar, talk to whoevers next to you. It's very easy and keeps the juices flowing. Did well in this aspect tonight.
I went out, good. I approached more - EXCELLENT! Doesn't feel like I've made actual progress cold approaching-wise in a while, but I will keep crawling and I will get there. Sure enough soon I will snap up to the next level. The alternative is being doomed to be a chode in the club (but pretty badass in the other areas in life). I want everything.
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Hanker
Senior Member
Join Date: 09/07/2008 | Posts: 109
Oh well. Probably going out wednesday next time, think I'm also going to try a session of MMA also before going out, see if my elbows is up for it. I cross my thumbs. Until next time RSDN. Peace