THE FORUMS

December 5th, 2016
I'm a slut - Blast off Bitch!
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Stinson.

Stinson.

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/30/2010 | Posts: 131

 Well shit suckas. ive been off far away in aus land for the last year. 
fucking wicked time. best year of my life. learnt some shit, had some fun and fucked some bitches. 
I didnt you do your standard aus trip that every dickhead travelling aus does. the east coast then go to thailand or some shit. that would of been cool too but fuck.
yea i started the east coast from sydney and got to byron the first place. stayed there 2 months getting pissed 6 nights aweek and surfing everyday over christmas times. fuckin rad
then went on a roady with some mates to adelaide.
then worked on a station in sa for 6 months. then headed up north to darwin.
but this isnt a travel blog. who gives a fuck.


I havnt done any writing for a year, so ill just write down the shit that i remember at random intervals. then carry on into the future and all the other shit i do.

for one year, i just let go of everything. i didnt give a shit about anything. no structure. no following pickup codes or even my own personal code. i just let go of everything and left it all up in the air.
this is my story, its not right, its not wrong it just is my fucking story.
you dont like it. fuck off.
you think i played weak game. fuck off
you think im just a drunk. yea so.  i know i am.

this is my story take it for what it is.



----
I think this original post was slightly over zealous, I don't want to get rid of it though. I find it to be entertaining. 
Basicly, I'm 21, live in victoria B.C, Canada. I'm a country boy at heart but i grew up just outside the city. I spent 6 months living and working on a massive station while I was in aus. It was tough and I fucking loved it, I was being the person I'm meant to be. I didn't want to leave and often times I want to go back but I'm convinced I'm meant for bigger and better things. 
This is my Journey towards those "bigger and better" things
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at some point you've gotta throw caution to the wind and just let er rip.
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#1
Stinson.

Stinson.

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/30/2010 | Posts: 131

 October 13th, 2011

The last plane out of sydneys almost gone



Seriously you must listen to this song over and over while you read this post. otherwise it just wont have to same feeling.

Im starting with my last night in Australia because it just happend and its freshest in my mind.
Spending 11 months in Australia has been amazing. Needless to say its been the best year of my life. Now im left wondering whats next? Whats next, is irrelavent to this tale. Who gives a shit ill get to that later.

I had met this chick lets call tinker bell. Because we she did look like a fairy, she’s short, has magical short blonde hair, blue eyes and just has a certain aura to herself, plus she dresses rad.
Anyways i met her at tamworth country music festival back in January and hadn’t talked to her since then. Even then i never really talked to her we just kind of hung out in a group. A few days before i flew to Sydney to fly home, i sent her a message of fb simply saying i was going to Sydney and we should catch up.
Get into Sydney and start texting her. I told her how i was overwhelmed by all the chodes in suits and the shitty weather. Ide just spent the last month up around Darwin way. 40degrees C to 15 in a few days is gay.

My first night in Sydney Shes busy and I hang out with another bird that ide met at the start of my trip.
I discoverd how highly unattractive she was to me. She was still hot and i would of banged the shit out of her but all she could talk about was how she’s gotten so fat since shit got there and how so and so is hot or not and blahblahblah superficial bullshit and couldn’t let go of her iphone.
All of which to me is now highly unattractive. We didn’t fuck. Ohwell i didn’t really care.

I digress

Next day rolls around. My last day in aus.
I buy my last pack of cigarettes, Peter Jackson’s gold. And go to mcdonalds for $1 cheeseburgers for breakfast. I hit up my dear tinker bell and we make plans to meet up around central in Sydney, im down at the famous bondi beach (never even knew it existed till i got to aus) Somehow I remember how to bus to central and when i get there shes already there.
She looks just like i remember her, enchanting and beautiful just like a fairy. I manage to get right up beside her before she realizes im there. She gives me the biggest longest hug ive ever had in my entire life. Its quite nice actually, in a strange sort of way.
She asks me what I want to do, I say I need a drink, a strong drink! Its 2pm i always need beer by 2pm...
We go to the bar across the street and have a couple brews, just enough to wet the throat, she has to work later on. Talking to tinker bell was like talking to my oldest and best friend that I hadn’t seen in years. It was beautiful, we had more things to say then time to say them, we fed off each other and we had other people looking at us all funny like.
I told her about the time i spent the night on the street homeless in sydney my first week here, how i almost got arrested in broome and why i have a mullet
I felt fucking solid and good, which has been something lately ive been having trouble with, Lately ive felt totally disconnected from everything in life even myself. Hence “lost in space”
We decided it would be fun to go to the sex shop and I wanted to buy a didgeridoo because i didn’t get around to getting when up in Darwin. She asked me if i wanted a sexual didgeridoo, i asked her how one of those would work. Interesting conversation.
We go into the first sex shop we find this one was flash it had peepshows and rooms full of used tissues on the ground where you could watch porn. Kinda creepy actually.. There was funny asian suit chodes walking around uncomfortably and stuff.
Were causing a ruckus and told not to whip each other in the store. Then the sex shop employee guy chode comes over and starts trying to sell us stuff. He was very in your face and actually kinda uncomforting. He explained to how to use anal beeds, why penis pumps work, how this jerk off tool that she could use on me is good for me because itll increase my stamina because as he said “lets face it if you cant last 40 minutes and get her off 4-5 times in those 40 minutes your doing something wrong”
I just kept my mouth shut and smiled, if only he knew...
I then found the massive 18inch dildo that was as thick as my thigh! Holy fuck it was a dildo for an elephant! I asked my deary tinker bell if she could take that, she said no. Then the sex chode said he’s met a girl her size that manage to take about half of one of those. Apparently all you need is time and a little lube.
Thinking about it now taking girls to the sexshop is an awesome day 2 activity! Im doing this more often!
We got scared and ran out when he had to go answer the phone.
Then we went to paddys market the Chinese market, we walked around I thought about taking her into the bathroom and doing her right then and there but didn’t. We cruised around the markets like a couple of love birds, I made fun of all the funny asian people talking like they were in team America, hip checked her into displays as we walked by, i kept putting my arm around her and pulling on her hair. This was real romance, not like that chodey shit you see on tv. We bought each other matching string bracelets and shark tooth necklaces and she helped me pick out a didgeridoo.
She had to leave for work, she was already 30 minutes late. She was sad, so was I.
“Theres just so much more for us to explore” she said as she poked me in my now noticeable beer belly.
“lets hangout tonight, after your done” i say, totally spur of the moment, I had made plans to hang out with the bird from yesterday but this chick is just too cool. She brightens right up and we walk to the bus stop. She gives me a big hug and i kiss her on the cheek.
I go back to the “famous” bondi beach, which really isn’t that nice of a beach as far as i am concerned. Overrated and overpriced beach is what it should be called.
I decide to buy a handle of vodka and a liter of coke. I sat down by the beach drinking and smoking my cigarettes watching the healthy people running by, thinking about my year in aus and how ive changed. The start of the year I literally was those people running on the beach, now im the guy sitting there by himself drinking vodka and chain smoking. Solid.
I walked around a bit and spent a while trying to find a hotel that looked cheap in bondi to pull her too. Yea right. Better luck trying to find a contact in a lake, which i have actually tried to do. Pretty difficult.
Then I snapped out of it and just told myself to chill the fuck out, I havnt planned anything this far and its gone amazing, tonight will be wicked and I know it.
She calls me up and says her phone just died but before that she wrote my number on her arm. Aww so cute. But she left her wallet and id at her work, so we cant go out. I tell her its okay because i have a bottle of vodka, she wasn’t too keen on the idea because she said she would be home by 3 and blah blah i just tell her its my last night she has too.
We meet back at central around 1130. Give her a hug and we start walking around taking swigs from the bottle of coke now consisting of about ¾ vodka and ¼ coke. We walk down George street and she shows me all of the cool places we could have gone out too had she not forgotten her wallet.
At this point ive got a plan. At the end of George street is the opera house and beside the opera house is a park. This is my end game. She keeps “leading” me around to all these places but as soon as we start to get too far off track i say this is gay or its not safe this way(which is ironic because its her city not mine) and keep heading to the park. Finally we get to the opera house and take some stupid pictures. The gardens are fenced off by 10 foot high fencing with sharp spike looking things on the tops of them. I suggest we try and find another way in but she has the genius idea of hopping of the turnstile thing where there is no spikes.
I like this girls style.
After we get in there we walk towards a big tree with lots of shading underneath it. Go figure, when we get there I grab her and pin her up against the tree, look her in the eyes, say something stupid then start making out with her.
Fuck its on, hot too.
I pick her up and place her on the ground, me ontop and kiss her then roll around and shes on top. More kissing, she goes to take her jacket off, i think shes taking it all off, but nope just jacket, then I quickly and smooth as fuck undo her bra, perfectly. No fumbling around. Shes impressed and off comes the shirt.
She actually has the cutest little boobies ever. There handfuls of delight and so perky. Like they don’t go down any, they just sit there like they’re in zero gravity. This really gets me going. More kissing, i fondle and suck on her tities, she bites my chest and plays with my dick. I can’t get into her pants though. Ohwell.
She says she feels bad because its not going to go any futher. I say shut up and kiss me.
Its no dramas too me. Im so turned on by her right now it doesn’t matter.
We have to stop, put some clothes on and hide because the secure-chode drives by making sure nobodies in the park. He’s good at his job.
We start getting dressed and she says she needs to leave because its already 230 and shes got to get home.
Fair enough, I really don’t care. We get dressed, then I rememberd I had been given a sucker/lollipop when i checked into the hostel. I get that out and start sucking on it, then let her suck on it. Then kiss her with it in my mouth and pass it too her and all sorts of fun stuff that lollipop’s dream about having happen to them when there being made...
Tricky me, she tastes like sweet sexy sugar, and so do i apparently. We start making out again on the ground and this time it’s on. Full domination mode. Im rubbing her as hard as i can from ontop of her tights, she’s jerking me. I push her down and make her suck my cock.
(its cute for how socially outgoing and crazy she is, she was actually pretty sexually timid, or maybe i just made her like that)
also this whole time im telling her its okay nothing bad is going to happen when ever she resists and then she says "sex isnt bad, sex is a good thing" see exactly nothing you dont want to happen is going to happen
She nibbles on my cock for a little bit then i get back ontop of her and rub her some more.
She makes some comment about how wet she is. HOLY SHIT i didn’t realize it, her pants are soaked, the bottom of my tshirt is wet and my jeans around the crotch area are completly wet from one side to the other. Fuck me.
I decide to go for it, put my hand down her pants, no resistance, she is literally dripping. Hmm nice tight pussy. I take her pants off and put my dick inside her.
Raw dog, shes way into it. Turns out shes not on the pill. Hmm I don’t want no can-aussie international love baby, ill have to be carefull.
At one point she tells me she’s never had an orgasm during sex and that she’s never told anybody that before.
I honestly feel bad for her and this motivates me to ramp it up a notch. I smashed the shit out of her (in a good way of course..) i brought my A game, going out of Australia with a bang. Then I feel it, that magical feeling that makes condoms suck, that feeling of her contracting around my cock, her first orgasm!
Beautiful, this is why I play the game, not for some high number (even though I want one), or too look cool, I play this game for the beauty. The meet girls like tinker bell, when the pickup becomes more then a pickup, when it becomes something you create between the two of you, a fucking celebration of your true selves.
That’s what I’m in it for.
Anyways, we finish up, I never did end up cumming, we have to dodge the securo-chode again, then we hop the turnstile and enter the world again. Its now 4 in the morning, she was supposed to be home awhile ago. My bus comes first. I feel bad leaving her downtown at 4am. I hope she gets home safely. Lol.
I get to my hostel and pass out. At 530 in the morning she calls me saying she left her wallet at the park and had to mish back to get it and hop the fence solo and that she had cuts everywhere from fucking in the park and everythings gone to shit. I laugh and call her a disaster and wish her good luck. i get up 2 hours later to catch my plane flight home.
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at some point you've gotta throw caution to the wind and just let er rip.
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#2
Stinson.

Stinson.

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/30/2010 | Posts: 131

 Late November, 2010

My First Week in the Land Down Under!



Boom
First week in Australia, fucking loving life, spent my first 2 days not talking to anybody then i changed hostels and my whole world changed... err kinda.
Still hadn’t talked to anybody but i decided it was all going to change. I was going to get drunk at the hostel and if I end up getting drunk all night and not talking to anybody fine but i doubt that would happen.
Went to hungry jacks then bought my first box of wine Goon. All my friends told me about how great it was at home, yet i couldn’t find this “goon” brand anywhere I settled for a different brand. Turns out its all goon. Ohwell.
After too glasses of it i couldn’t handle consuming anymore so i bought some orange juice to mix and it was all peaches and hangovers from there.
Anyways that first night i played with some English birds massive D titties and some French dude told me that was bad game and i wouldn’t get laid. He was right.
Met this other English chick, very cute, short, dark red hair cool. Her name was megan i told her she should be careful because every girl ive ever fallen in love with was named megan. I did end up falling in love with her.
Hey it was my first week i didn’t know anybetter.
I smoked my first cigarette that night.
Ended up going with megan and a few other birds to some peoples apartment to smoke weed and more cigarettes. I couldn’t finish my cigarette, the ash tray was too far away and i didn’t want to put it out on there couch so i put the cigarette out on the top of my right hand.
A year later I still have the scar,
My first real night in Australia!

After that night, I was on a powerful trip! Total momentum i was loving life! The excitement of being on the otherside of the world and being able to do what ever the fuck i wanted was powerful. Just looking after my self getting food, and alcohol was the most important mission of my day.
Went for a walk one day and came back feeling like god, or atleast matt damon!
Full moon party tonight.
Im drinking chillen, scabbin food from people who cook more then noodles. Lord of the table, talking to my dear megan, i want to put my penis in her!
Talking to these kiwi birds, they was funny accents i like them they say things like weeeest and feeeence, and diiiiiiiiickhead (i didn’t discover this till i worked on a station with a kiwi...)
Playing drinking games with my Swedish mate who on his first night we got him so fucked he ended up passing out in the shower.
Time for the full moon party. We all rock out, im talking to one of the kiwi girls as were walking there, were getting a long lovely (no idea what was said, it was a year ago) although im sure it was some pure gold gibberish about nothing, or maybe i just stared at her boobies the whole time who knows.
We get to the full moon party. Me and my lovely kiwi bird are there for maybe 2 minutes then i decide its lame and were going back!
We walk back to the famous bondi beach all hand in hand, halfway there we encounter a real life fight club crew. A kids standing around watching while two kids duke it out on the path, we have to walk right thru them. Im not fazed they even paused their fight for use to get by. Im amused and consider joining in on the activities because ive never seen a flight club crew before but i look at the girl holding my hand and reconsider.
We get to the beach and start kissing and stuff, its cute, were rolling around in the sand, the sand racking tractor machine is going up and down the beach, theres two people working out beside us. Neither us nor them seem to care.
I start taking pictures of me and her kissing and stuff, its cute. We don’t have sex on the beach.
We go back to the hostel and she insists thats shes going to bed alone because her friends are in her room. Im a chode and a virgin so i don’t know how to handle this. It really was on though.
Chat to a few people at the hostel i know. We go outside to smoke some cigarettes, my dear Megan comes along with me. I give her a cigarette and try and get her to come to the beach with me. Lol. Shes tired but says i should just go by myself if i really want to. Bummer.
Then my American mate comes out and says that kiwi girl i was with has been sitting at the tables for the last 10 minutes, saying she was “looking for someone to cuddle with” her exact words, she then went back to bed.
I start swearing and jumping up and down. I keep it very cool. Ohwell
I smoke another cigarette and head to bed.
Im starting to like these cigarettes...
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at some point you've gotta throw caution to the wind and just let er rip.
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#3
Stinson.

Stinson.

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/30/2010 | Posts: 131

 End of November 2010

The Chode gets punked and punched 



Much of the same as continued in the last week, I keep getting drunk and chillen on the beach by day. Went out one night but the bar closed by 12 so we just ran amuck around sleepy bondi. Nothing exciting.
Smoked some weed with a French guy and a couple other dudes and we were chillen on the sun chairs listening to him playing the guitar. That was pretty chill. Then later on this club promoter guy comes in and starts giving bracelets to all the groups of people around. I’m sitting there chillen having a smoke and i don’t get a bracelet. Meh
I go talk to a couple girls I know then the promoter guy rocks up all buddy buddy like and gives me a whole page of bracelets. Cool whatever.
Woo its the gaff, free beer for an hour. Im going.
We end up getting like 17 people into a 8 person van. Solid effort on our part. The driver wasn’t too stoked. I see the promoter douche at the door and slap hands with him cuz im cool like that.
Free beer, im slamming beers as fast as i can and getting my refills. I love this not having to tip the bartender stuff like you do back home. I was already hammered to begin with, now im pretty darn drunk. With in 10 minutes of being there I see my dear Megan’s friend hooking up hardcore with this dude up at the bar. Cool. I’m trying to hook up with my dear Megan but I’m a chode with no game and I’m uber drunk. She starts hooking up with this guy and I get all emo and shit lol.
I remember I grabbed her and brought her to the side and said something all serious like “megan, what are you doing? I like you, you don’t have to do this. Be with me.
(I said the kind of stuff that makes me cringe and want to smack my head against the wall. Lol. Not my fault it was my first week in Australia. How was I too know any better.)
She just looked at me funny then walked away. I was torn. I went to the bathroom.
This bar is designed terribly. The bar is sunken into the floor and around it is a step down. I didn’t see this probably cuz i was blindingly drunk, but i missed the step and fell spilling my beer all over another bloke from the hostel. The bouncer taps me on the shoulder and says its time for me to leave. I’m outraged and just keep saying I tripped, it wasn’t my fault, I just tripped, What you’ve never tripped before? I get too the front door and the guy i spilt the beer all over runs up and says its alright and I just keep telling them I tripped what ever its not a big deal i tripped.
Anyways im allowed to stay. I probably should of just left and gone home.
Another guy from the hostel comes up to me. No homo but he was a beautiful man, tall, muscles, lean as fuck and rugged. Apperently he was some sort of model or some shit. Anyways he comes up and tell me he’s got this girl on lockdown and shes got friends all i gotta do is chat to them and im in. Sweet.
Cool so its me, mr model and 3 ladies from somewhere probably Europe. Im sure it was going good but I don’t recall I was hammered. Also the guy I spilt beer all over decides to join the set. This guy was in fact 42, kinda weird and as it turns out a fanboy of The game and the mystery method, and all that gay shit.
We leave and go to another bar, most likely to get away from him... The next bar is dead, so we head around the block to another bar. At some point mr model and his girl disappear into the night. For me its going good with these girls like I’m in. Then I go take a piss and come back and it’s the inverse. Fuucked. Mr mystery must of done some weird shit and the girls say there leaving. Still I’m like yeah ill go back with them then sexy time! I go to join them outside and they start freaking out yelling “No not you! Your not coming with us.” Like very seriously. Fuck I didn’t want to pay 20 bucks to get a cab back home so I just sit on a curb and wait to decide what to do. Anyways they let me share a cab with them. I give em money and leave dishearted and destroyed. First my dear Megan now these girls. Life sucks boohoo!
Stuff I laugh about now but at the time was the worst thing happening to me.
I see a few people outside the hostel, I drag my feet over too them. They say I look like ive had a though night. I bum a cigarette, I walk off to bed all sad and angry.
Then the anger starts really building. Like really really angry, anger like I used to have at home. Grrrr! Stuff. I decide to go fight club on myself. Start punching myself in the face. It makes me feel better. Physical pains instead of mental pain. I enjoy it I punch myself a few more times then pass out. In the morning i’ve got a bit of a black eye. Lol.
Megan’s friend walks into the hostel around 11am. I ask her if she had a good night.
She gets a big smile on her face and says “yea, totally worth it”
Atleast someone had a good night
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#4
Stinson.

Stinson.

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/30/2010 | Posts: 131

 Stereosoniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiic! and my virginity


Wooooey! What a fucking day in my life! Afterwards I was going around saying stereosonic was the most awesome thing ive ever done in my life!
It was my first festival, first of many things. But ill get to that in time.
I found out stereosonic existed the night before it was on. The only other person who wanted to go happend to be the creepy 42 year old pua master. What ever I didn’t really want to go by myself.
It was an amazing line-up, afrojack, infected mushrooms, benny benassy, calvin harris, tiesto to name a few. I was excited as all hell.
We roll out around 1130am its an all day festival. Catch the bus, catch the trains get the wrong tickets catch more trains, finally end up on the right train. Were in a cart with a group from Switzerland, they’re fucking crazy. Craziest people I had meet for a long time into my trip. They were already hammered too, drinking beer and smoking cigarettes on the cart, screaming at anybody else who gets in the cart with us and singing DRINK ALL DAY, FUCK ALL NIGHT over and over again.

null
It was a good pump up for the festival.
We get to the ground and there’s security everywhere! I went to a few events for the Vancouver Olympics and the fucking security at the festival was way tighter then at the Olympics! Every single person was sniffed by a dog, my mate had to be taken behind curtains and further searched. I’m glad i didn’t bring no drugs... After that we got fully searched by security and all that fuck shit was intense.
After I was allowed in, I felt this rush of excitement hit me! I was fucking here! We checked out the main stage, and walked around scooping the other venues there. We ended up walking down to the main stage inside the giant stadium and walked all the way right up to the front of the stage. It was rad.
At some point some cute aussie girl came up and told me she liked my sunnies. Fake raybans, very sexy.
Im like Thanks.
And that was that, i probably could of gone and fucked her up the ass in the bathroom right then and there but it didn’t register at the time.. ohwell
More rocking out.
We left for a while then came back for infected mushrooms.
If you ever get the chance to see them. Go. They are incredible live! They’re screaming running around jumping up and down. They’re guitarist looks almost like slash and he was giving girls the fingers and smoking cigarettes while playing and drinking scotch out of the bottle. It was awesome Everybody was rocking out to their stuff, it was crazy!
null
Went over to another stage to check out afrojack, got there for the end, ran into a bloke from the hostel, he said he was ripped on pills and just dancing away.Legit
we were dancing to this song at the time

its pretty cool


I swear to good 98% of the girls there were fucking incredible! Absolutely stunning girls all dressed in short shorts and some sort of revealing top. Every girl you looked at I was like dammmnn!
Throughout the day people kept complimenting me on my rad shirt. It was a red shirt that said “enjoy Coke” I got it at walmart for 12 bucks.
We head back to the main stage for the last 7 hours of the festival. At this point theres a few people there. As you see in the picture

null

We made it thru everybody all the way up to about 20 feet away from the stage and we stayed there the whole afternoon and evening. I had to piss and i was dehydrated as all hell but i wasn’t fucking leaving!
Every single person there was in party state, everybodies your best friend. I was taking pictures with everybody around me and dancing with all the girls.
Finally Calvin Harris was up and it was just starting to get dark out. I thought he was awesome point some people around were disappointed, losers. At one point I was dancing with this girl from south Africa, she was fit, I enjoyed her company, she kept grabbing my ass and shit when I’de get distracted and watch all the cool light show stuff. Her friends want to leave and go stand somewhere different or something. She kept trying to get me to leave with this, I am sure I could of fucked her if I went with them but there was no way I was leaving where I was standing. There’d be other girls.
Sure enough, what do I see? A cute girl dancing by herself against the rail. She’s wearing short shorts and a bikini top, it turns out she lost her friends and her top.
Perfect.
We danced for the entire rest of the festival and by dance I mean she held onto the rail and I grinded against her ass while watching the performance for like 3 hours straight.
Tiesto is the finale, there was a bunch of rumours’ that he wasn’t even going to show up and I didn’t really expect much from him to begin with. Holy fuck though, he delivered, he put on an incredible show seriously.
At one point we was killing it so hard that he blew the breakers and all the power died for a few minutes. Then they reset it and he kept on killing it! He also had a cool lazer show and it looked like it was a solid lazer wall and it kept coming down farther and farther till you could jump up and put your hand in it. It was cool.
It’s funny I thought this only happened in rude teen movies like American pie and super bad type movies. Living in a hostel I hadn’t jerked off for like a week and a half and the shower stalls just didn’t appear romantic enough for me. We were grinding for quite a while now and she really knew how to move well and I felt it. I though “oooohh fuck your gonna blow” then i thought “how the fuck is this possible, I thought it only happened in the movies”
I was going to blow my load dry humping this girl, and there was nothing I could do. I tried to slow down for a little bit but then I though “fuck it, this’ll make a funny story someday” So there I was at stereosonic, surrounded by 25,000+ people dry humping this girl 20 feet from the stage and I blew my load all in my boxers, big load too.
My shorts went wet on the outside and everything. I think it’s hilarious, she doesn’t seem to have the slightest clue that she’s now part of an American pie movie and I just had a public orgasm.
Nice.
My dicks still hard and I keep dry humping her like nothing happened. Tiesto does a incredible remix of forever young and I sing along at the top of my lungs.
At some point earlier my old mate (literally old mate cuz hes 42) says his knees hurt and he has to go sit down. Old fart. I tell him will meet up afterwards.
At the end of the festival I tell ms American pie that were gonna get a drink. My mouth is dry from excessive partying. We slowly start filling out with the crowd. I hold her hand so I don’t lose her in the crowd. She asked me about my friend, I tell her “he isn’t my friend, I don’t give a shit about him” He ain’t fucking this one up!
She’s cold, I let her wear my stereosonic souvenir tshirt. We catch the free train into Sydney. It turns out she’s 24, from quebec here in Canada, has been in Australia for 2 years and tonight is her last night in Australia. All signs point too -- “she’s going out with a bang!” We walk down the main street in Sydney talking, she buys me pizza because im a poor backpacker or something. I buy a slurpee and share it with her. Aha
We walk down to the harbour and goo into some flash yuppie bar because she wanted to talk to her mate who worked there to see if we could get behind the locked fence. As I’m standing in there a bouncer spots me and is like
“OOOOOIIIII MATE!” and points to my shoes. Im wearing skate shoes. I just look at him and laugh and say don’t worry im not here to drink and I point to my girl. Some how this is okay and we leave and go look at the opera house. Then she says we’ll you can catch the bus from here to bondi, or you can come and stay with me tonight.
Durrr Ill go with you. She says “okay, but where not having sex tonight”
I’m thinking were soo having sex tonight!
Shes staying at her friend’s house, no one’s home. We go into her room and lay down, she shows me pictures of her 2 years of travel and tell me about her diving adventure and stuff, she even has her own gear.
The lights go off and we lay down together. We’re both in our underwear. She says were not having sex tonight. We kiss a little bit.
She says were not having sex, I did it all wrong anyways, I hadn’t kissed her before getting to her place and I wasn’t even really flirting with her and blah blah blah.
After a while, I just figure fuck it and I tell her I’m a virgin, she can’t believe it and we proceed to have a very honest conversation about sex. She says I shouldn’t have a problem cuz im cool and Hot as hell. Ego +1!
She tells me about her sexpliots and how we can’t have sex because she doesn’t want her number to be higher than her age and shes at 24 for both.
Then she tells me that if Tiesto wasn’t very good she was going to take me into the stands and fuck me right then and there.
We cuddle and fall asleep.
In the morning we talk some more, I say let’s take a shower, she doesn’t want to because it would be lame us washing each other. Still she’s not going to have sex with me. Whatever I don’t care anymore and she has to leave for her flight in an hour.
Then she tells me she’s going to take a shower, Im like cool and just say there.
Then she smiles and says “are you coming with?” and walks off.
I grab my condom and follow her, when I get there she’s already naked in the shower, I’m nervous, i’ve never been naked infront of anybody else. Fuck it, ide rather get laid then be insecure. I strip off and get in and start kissing her, she gives me a handjob then puts the condom on me.
This is it, this is my moment! I’m going to do it! I start to feel my way into her, I begin to fumble around a bit and almost start to panic, I tell myself I’m not fucking it up this time!
(Side note: funny story, I’ve been in this exact moment before except instead of a shower it was the back of my 4runner with a girl a few years younger then me. After kissing her for hours she was finally ready for sex, I put a condom on and went to put it in her but it wouldn’t go. I couldn’t get it in her, she got on top and tried, we tried from behind but it just wouldn’t go. I started to panic and she freaked out because she thought the condom was broken or something. That was the closest i’de come to getting laid ever and that was just over a year before... funny life eh)
Not this time though, I get it in and a big smile crosses my face! Fuck yea my dick is inside of her! I begin thrusting away, this is awesome! I’m actually having sex! With a girl!
We bang for like 15 minutes in the shower, then go on her friends bed and she rides me. She starts laughing and saying I should see my face. Then we move to her bed and she keeps riding me. Still to this day, she had skills ontop. And she would reach around and play with my balls at the same time.
Then I started fucking her, and she was crazy, right away she started yelling and shit. She would dig her nails into my back and scream and moan as i fucked her and she kept biting me. I quite enjoy this sex stuff. Before I could finish though she stopped me and said she was already late for the airport.
We get dressed and I give her a hand carrying her bags to the taxi. I give her a kiss and hug goodbye and all that stuff.
As I walk down the street to the bus stop, it hits me. I just had sex for the first time! Things have now officially changed! No girls are safe anymore. It felt awesome. I get back to the hostel and sit outside and have my first après-sex cigarette, it was quite enjoyable. 


null
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#5
Stinson.

Stinson.

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/30/2010 | Posts: 131

 Start of December,
Nothing too exciting happens for the next couple days. I decide I’m heading up the coast to Byron Bay. Any of my friends who had ever been to Byron Bay have said it’s incredible, little did I realize just how incredible it really is.
My last day at the hostel in Bondi I checked out to go stay in a hostel in Sydney cuz I was catching the bus at like 6am and I thought it would be easier. It was raining, I decided to stay at the hostel after checking out and finish off my bag of goon. Other people joined in I ended up staying at the hostel until 1130pm that night.
My dear Megan came back from work around 9pm and I asked her if she wanted to go for a quickie before I left. She slapped me in the face. After finally saying good-bye and grabbing my shit, I went to 7/11 and bought a pack of cigarettes and a bus ticket. I Don’t remember getting on the bus to go into town, next thing I know I’m downtown Sydney with my backpack and no idea where my new hostel is.
I never did find my hostel and I ended up spending the night homeless on the streets of Sydney. I spent a few hours at the Mcdonalds, then walked around for a few hours then decided to wait at the train station with all the other crazy homeless people. I was too scared to sleep. Finally the sun rose and it was time to go catch my bus to the surf camp, then Byron Bay!
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#6
Stinson.

Stinson.

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/30/2010 | Posts: 131

 Surf Camp


Surf Camp is some campgrounds on the ocean thats supposed to have decent waves (all I seen were shit swells), Its a major backpackers trap. Most busses stop there and everybody’s there for only 1 night. Before we’de even gotten there I’de bought another box of wine. Still had slept but that was irrelevant. I love surfing, camping and drinking. This is my place.
Get there and I decide to have a drink and go for a walk on the beach. It reminds me of the surfing beach at home. Then I go see what’s around. I see a girl smoking a cigarette and I ask her for a light, I had a light in my pocket but I needed an opener.
She had feral teeth, like English teeth but she was from Sweden or something like that. Talked to her for 30 minutes or so, turns out she doesn’t drink. I don’t understand why somebody doesn’t drink.
Conversation ends, I go find people from my bus, then it’s dinner time. Best food I’ve eaten since I’ve been in Australia.
This place is cool, pool tables, ping pong table, tables everywhere and nowhere to do and nothing to do except party! I proceed to get hammered and ruthlessly hit on a dutch girl from my bus. She`s cute and I`m into her.
A pommy girl from my bus is into me, she wants to go for a `walk on the beach` she`s quite unattractive and has a pizza face. I consider letting her blow me on the beach but I politely decline her invitation. Quite possibly the first time i`ve ever turned down a girl. I like the feeling!
Dutch girl goes to bed, I partake in a massive game of flip cup but I suck and get told to leave. Later on I will be god-mode at flip cup but thats another story.
I begin to beast-mode every girl I see. I walk up to one girl, she says she`s going to bed, I say it`s not safe and I`ll walk her back. Get there and try to make out with her, she doesn`t approve and goes to bed.
Find my sober friend from earlier, she`s boring and sober and doesn’t want to make babies on a bunk bed while other people are asleep in the room. Loser.
More girls and nothing.
I got to get up at like 7am for my `surfing lesson`` after not sleeping for 2 days I go to bed at 230am.
It`s incredible how much the guys that work there pull. It`s a perfect set up for them, they are the ``Iconic Australian surfer dudes` all these girls are at the start of their trip and wet themselves when they see these guys. All they have to do is go up and say Hey and legs fucking spread. As I discovered later when dutch girl went to work there. It got to the point where the staff wasn’t allowed to party with everybody else because they pulled that many fucking girls.
Its irrelevant to me but interesting none the less, sometimes you can play the game by the rules and win.
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#7
Stinson.

Stinson.

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/30/2010 | Posts: 131

 Part II – Byron bay aka the bay of dreams aka Booty bay aka the most awesome place on earth!


First night in the bay, roll out to the bar across the road from my hostel Cheeky Monkeys. Little did I realize at the time how Byron Bay and the Holiday Village would shape my future. If at the time I’de had some way of seeing into the future and I had seen how the Holiday Village was more like the entrance of the rabbit hole into Alice’s wonder land of partying I would of probably listened to more epic music at the time but such is life.
I hit up Cheeky Monkey’s for dinner with some guys from my bus. I’de heard of Cheeky Monkey’s before from friends, apparently its famous.. (like bondi but with alcohol and just as many boobies out) The main area of the bar is filled up with large tables covered with checkard plate. We eat out dinner and have a few beers then the strangest thing happens. People start dancing ontop of the tables.
It seems totally rediculas and makes no sense what so ever. I like this place already!
Next thing I know I’m dancing ontop of the tables unable to move around what so ever due to how many people were on the tables all I could do was fist pump. I’m wearing a bright red Bondi Beach life guard shit. Clearly I’m the coolest.
There’s a cute girl next to me I tell her I want a picture with her and then proceed to make out with her. Next thing the music stops, and there’s a competition of sorts. Better than that, it’s a patriotic competition where the lovely female contestants paint their nations flag over their boobies and dance around and try to win your love and your votes.
I’ve never seen anything like this before in my simpleton town back in icey Canada. Naturally as any chode would do I take pictures of it for future memories. Lol
I boo at the girl with the british flag on her chest when she tries to get me to cheer for her. Later I realize I knew her. Lol
After this amazing display of patriotic-ness I decide it’s going to be my new goal to make it onto the main stage of this wonderful bar. After taking a piss I start my mission to push thru the sea of chodes and rock with the top rockers.
I get up stage and it’s awesome there’s like 3 dudes and 30 drunk attention seeking girlies ready for my loving. I’m dancing with all the cuties, I’m too much for just one I have to spread the loving. Finally I spot my girl.
I tell her she’s sexy as a kitten and it’s on. I dry hump her bum, she’s into it I turn her around and push her against the rail and make her grab my already hard cock. We make out, it’s love in the night. She digs me but has to go to the bathroom with her friends but promises she’ll be back.
I don’t really care either way, I find my next girl who happened to be dancing right beside us the whole time. She’s very sexy, wearing a short dress and has the eyes of a girl who wants to get fucked up the ass behind the dumpster. I like.
Say some incoherent blubbering shit to her and its on. There’s just something about these aussie girls they all want to party. I start grinding her and she shoves her ass on my dick. We make out and I start to rub her thru her underwear.
It’s on like Donkey Kong!
Next thing I know Little miss priss the girl who went to the bathroom is back with her friends. I’m in god mode and I can’t decide which girl I want, well actually I want both girls. I figure I’ll just dance with both girls and then that’ll turn into a three sum. Funny, the girl that just came back got up on the rail right next to me and my girl.
So I start grinding the one girl, then move to the other girl then back. The girls figure this out and quickly get sad that I want both of them and shit goes cactus and they both leave the stage.
Now the stage has turned into a massive cockfarm cuz all the guys have consumed enough courage to get up here with the real pimps. I leave and go find my mates. As I’m walking around a girl grabs my shoulder and says “Hey Ryan!” im like wtf who are you.
I give her a hug anyways, she claims she knows me from Bondi beach, I have no idea who she is put she’s cute so I play along. It was on but I don’t realize it she gives me her number on a bus pass so we can hang out later. I don’t even own a cell phone.
Me and my mates leave and go hang out down on the beach watch people running into the water nude.
I’m incredibly excited! For a kid who’s soon to realize how wet behind the ears I really am, I’m on cloud 9, what an incredible start to an incredible place.
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#8
Stinson.

Stinson.

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/30/2010 | Posts: 131

 I've  had a crazy idea last night.
basicly since i've been home from travelling i've been kind of depressed and no motivation to do anything, even getting back into the gym and eating right is hard. My  days feel dull and bleak. I just can't get back into normal life. its weird
one thing among a few changes has been since ive been home i've been watching tv again, I barely watched any for a year and now im catching up on shows that i didnt care about. I think this is one thing thats dulling me down. Watching tv is boring as shit.

Last night I went over to my buddies house and we watched a snowboarding video called The Art of Flight.
its fucking incredible I think everybody should watch this regardless of if they snowboard.

its so sick.

Unlike watching boring ass regular chode-tv watching movies like this are awesome.
Watching this last night got me so pumped up. I was actually yelling at the tv saying holy fuck,. how do they do that! thats nuts! Fuck yea.
it gets the energy flowing, i was pumped up, excited and just generally stoked for life.

which gave me the idea.
for one month im not going to watch regular chode-vision or movies. I dont watch much tv anyways but the only movies Ill allow myself to watch are movies like the art of flight, snowboarding, surfing and biking videos. 
which are all 3 things im big into. and a bit of malcom douglas the original bush man, on how to survive in the bush. I like nature and he's pretty sweet.

These videos are all about being on your edge, just seeing how far you really can go. its incridible, it opens up your mind and gets you thinking whats possible.
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#9
Stinson.

Stinson.

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/30/2010 | Posts: 131

 Byron Bay Good-Times


Times are a changing in Byron, There’s now a company running pubcrawls. Fortunately a few of my good mates are working for these guys.

Basically the deal is I get the party started early at the hostel and I get to go for free. Sounds easy enough for me.
I’ve gotten into the routine of drinking all night and surfing during the day. I bought a 6.2 out of the pawn shop for 100 bucks and I listen to Zac Brown on my walk to the beach. Life is pretty good if I say so myself.
The night before was a big night and I got tired while surfing so I decided to rest on the beach for a little while and just chill. I feel woke up from what I thought was a 15 minute snooze and went surfing for a few more hours.
I walk back to the hostel and everybodies looking at me funny and then my friend says I look really red. Im like yea i feel a little burnt.
Turns out I feel asleep on the beach for 3 hours during the middle of the day with no sunscreen lol. Im cherry red, I’ve never seen anybody this burnt before and whats worse I’m late for getting the party started.
I quickly shower, throw on some alhoe on my crispy deep fried skin and grab some beer. It’s time to party bitches.
Have some drinks with everybody and get in a good mode. Just as were about to roll out me and my Swedish friend go to slap the goon with each other and it explodes all over everybody. The girls are pissed lol.
We get to the first bar and its really mellow. Not like us. Everybody gets a meal and we start doing jager bombs.
15 minutes into the second venue and my buddy who works the pubcrawl is coming up to me telling us we gotta chill down because the bouncers already want us out.
We decide its cigarette time.
I play some stupid pubcrawl game and end up dropping the girl i was playing it with on the floor. Whoops. She was being to slow
Im walking around, some takes my santa hat off my head, I stole it off my pubcrawl buddy. I phiscally accost this girl to get my hat back, its quite fun.
Anyways more drinking and more partying It’s an awesome fun night I meet a girl from my hometown we take abunch of pictures and seem to get along well looking back on the pictures. I pretty well black out at this stage, rest of the night is pretty killer I leave with some buddies and go smoke some dope.


A couple nights later I’m out with my mates at Woody’s, It recently opened so its pretty chill and a few girls I know bartend there. I’m dancing around like a dickhead with my mates and somebody steals my santa hat again. (I’ve started wearing this all the time, it’s almost Christmas and girls like stealing it as an excuse to talk to me)
I’m rattled I want my hat back I quickly turn around and who is it?
None other than the girl who stole my hat on the pubcrawl. I don’t recognize her, but she tells me its true. Anyways She still hasn’t given me my hat back and I really want it back so I get her up against the wall and physically accost her in an effort to retrieve my shinny trinket. I put the hat back on my head and she calls me santa and says shes my little helper.
I start making out with her and its on. I tell her she’s santa’s naughty little helper and im the bad santa.
After 5 minutes of this I tell her were leaving, I grab her hand and walk her out of the bar and we head towards the bar, only stopping to make out and for traffic.
I learn a little bit about her, she’s 18, blonde and from Adelaide. She’s on vacation with her friends on her daddy’s credit card. I tell her she’s not a very good daddy’s little girl. She says he thinks she is.
We get down to the beach and I take her to a dark spot down the beach that I thought would be quite. We start making out. She’s sitting in my lap cuz im Santa and she’s a little girl.
She’s wearing a small black dress, I take off her small black dress and throw it on the sand. More Making out, I start rubbing her thru her panties. She’s so cute and small and blonde.
I take off her bra and panties and my clothes aswell. We make out some more and then she gets down on the sand on her knees and starts rubbing my dick, then she wraps her warm lips around my cock and starts blowing me.
I lean back against the rock for a minute and watch her head bob up and down. This feels incredible, I’ve never been blown before and I lost my Vcard just over a week ago. Man my life has changed radically since being in Australia.
She’s got good dick sucking skills. Occasionally she uses a little bit of teeth, not too much just enough to notice it. I like her mouth, I play with her hair and hold it back for her.
Just then a few people walk down the beach and notice us. And start cheering, she gets all embarrassed and I laugh. She’s a champ though and keeps blowing away.
I lean over her and start fingering her friend behind as she sucks my dick. Every now and then more people walk by but my little champ keep on sucking! After like 30 minutes I feel it building. I think about telling her I’m going to cum but decide not to. I blow a massive load in her mouth and she swallows it like a champ and cleans my dick up. (this is the only time i’ve ever cum from a blowjob)
Santa likes his little helper.
She may have finished me off but I’m not finished and I want to fuck the shit out of this girl, you know as a thank you for being such a good little helper, you know Santa always rewards good little girls.
That kind of shit
I sit her on my lap and suck on her boobies, and stealthily slip on a condom. She see’s this and keeps sayin shit like
“Santa, no sex”
“Santa, im a good little girl”
“your being bad santa, no sex”
Fuck she’s really into this roleplay thing, it’s kind of cute. I want to fuck her even more.

She’s sitting in my lap close to my dick, I try to pick her up and place her on my cock, I get her right over my cock but as soon as it touches her she freaks out and says no sex santa.
What ever, I just finger her for a while and throw the condom in the sand. Were all sandy now and she wants to go into the water. I pick her up and cradle her like a baby and run the 100 meters to the water, full nudy run across the beach.
My only fear about swimming at dark is them fucking blue bottles. I got stung from one the other day around my neck and it burns like a mother fucker. You cant see em at night, but there wasn’t any. That would be a total mood killer, kissing in the water in the nickidy then all of a sudden a wave comes in and you both get stung on your privates by a blue bottle.
Fuck that
Fortunately there wasn’t any.
Now in the ocean, I went to kiss her and she turned cheek, saying “You don’t want to kiss me” Such a dirty little slut. I like this girl. We wash the sand of each other bodies and i pick her up by the legs and try to place her on my still hard cock. And “no sex santa” We kiss a little bit then a turn her around and bend her over and try to stick it in her behind. Still no dice.
I come to the conclusion that a blowjob is good enough and sex isn’t happening. We run back to our sneaky spot on the beach and get dressed. We head back to the bar hand in hand. Cherishing in the night. She keeps calling me santa and saying I don’t want to kiss her.
I think she gets off on roleplaing and feeling like a dirty slut... just sayin
We get back to the bar and all of a sudden the moment is gone, her friends are standing around outside and freak out when she gets back, they were soo worried, they thought they lost her and one of her friends was crying. Instead of dealing with a bunch of drunk emotional 18 yearold girls, I decide to walk off back to the hostel to see if anybodies around.
I leave without even saying good bye. The moment was done. It was nice.
I walk down the street with swagger and pep in my step. I feel fucking boss. I meet up with the crew some some cronic and chill out for a while thinking about my first blowjob on the beach of Byron bay.
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#10
Stinson.

Stinson.

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/30/2010 | Posts: 131

Livin the Dream 


Basicly this was my life for the next month and a half. Surf during the day drink at night. I was getting piss drunk 6 nights a week. I rarely got a hangover and I loved my life.
Went to Nimbin one day with a group of people from the hostel that night was the highest I’ve ever been. We’de been eating weed cookies all day and smoking spliffs. My buddy Tanner and I went to go buy some alcohol from the bottle shop but half way there we started laughing uncontrollably for 20 minutes and decided there was no way they’de sell us liquor so we came back with cookies from Woolworths instead.
One girl in our crew was a beautiful blonde brit. That night when we were all hanging around singing songs ripped out of our minds we kept looking at each other and smiling like we knew something that nobody else was awesome enough to know.
Chode me ended up crushing on her hard. One night I finally hooked up with her. We were the last two people of our crew left in the bar and i pushed her up against the wall and she said
“is this really going to happen”
I said yup and started making out with her. It was hot. Were love in the night. We ended up splitting a kabab then heading back to the hostel were i ran into my Swedish mate. We talked for a bit then she went to the bathroom and i told him i was going to hook up with her. He laughs and says ok and walks off.
She comes back and its just us. Convenient ..
I kiss her then we go to my room. We get in and i throw her on my bed. A few days before i set up my blanket and towel to be like a wall covering my bed for privacy. Also convenient.
We start making out and feeling each others bodies. Im ecstatic, this is the first time I’m actually getting with a girl that I liked and known beforehand. I start fingering the shit out of her. Her pussy’s nice and warm and wet. I get her off, then she asks me if im ready for the best root of my life.
She starts stroking my cock, but her touch is too much. It actually tickles its so magical. I’ve never felt anything like this before. She actually couldn’t touch my cock area it was too sensitive and it tickled like i was a little kid.
(This happens to me another time a few months later, but it was when my fb was sucking on my balls. I actually started giggling histerically and telling her to stop it was too much, this only made her want to do it more. Lol Anybody got any idea why this happens?)
Anyways
She says shes cold and wants us to go to her room. Chodely I agree and we cuddle for the rest of the night.

After this I fall for her even more and want to fuck her badly, it was too much of a tease. She freaks out because she actually likes me. We don’t end up fucking and she turns out to actually be a crazy coke-whore.
Literally...

The next few weeks I spend many nights getting drunk with my buddy’s and singing “she fucking hates me” aloud except I changed the words to “I fucking hate her”
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