THE FORUMS

 Day 48 12-31 Daygame on waikiki beach.

Today I just had no passion. The 2 cali girls texted me in the afternoon, they want me to pick up some alcohol for them. I feel like they are just hot girls using boy. I dont like that. Apparently she can tell im bitter and calls me out on it. Im frustrated with them being flaky girls. But I guess this hinges upon the fact that im being a needy man. Like now I need to see them. Because I know I can only lay them if I see them. So im super outcome dependant on wanting/needing to see them and of course that fucks me up.

Also texted the girl from last night, tried to hang out with her tomorrow, she is going on a trip. Damn.

Anyway I get to the beach kind of blah. Just going through the motions. I see a girl shes kind of cute. I think about talking to her. Dont want to. I know I can do it. Walk up. Start talking. Dont try, have boring converstion about screening for logistics. 

Shit, Its not even fun for me to talk to them anymore. Im just walking up finding out of they are available or down to bang. Like single, where you staying, whats your schedule. Have not established any connection or fun, im doing it backwards. Im just like girl, tell me whats up when are you free 20 questions. Then if they pass, then I start to try and have fun with them because I know its a "good set" in terms of logistics screened. 

Like yesterday and today, sets are mostly just screen logistics, kind of boring. after thinking about cats feedbacks, maybe I need to make it fun and flirty. Then suck them into that vibe and shit will take care of it self. 

I will try that. Just be fun and flirty and see if they get sucked into my reality. And then it can just happen naturally.


Anyway make one walk down the beach, feeling kind of blah, no hot girls, no passion, im just planning to head home. The 2 cali girls text me, they are back in waikiki want me to pick up alcohol for them. Im just like sure why not, they give me money I get them vodka. Hang out with them walk down thebeach joke around. Walk back. I think I hung out for just like 45 minutes. 

This second time hanging out with these girls they just seem boring and whatever. Theyre here until Jan 4th. And at this point I really dont care if I see them again. I will probably text them if I am in waikiki and see if they want to meet up now, but no plans. Thats kind of needy.

 12-31 NYE Party!

Okay FUN NIGHT! To sum it up, kissed 2 girls, dancefloor grinding with another, lots of flirting, lots of fun!!

Get to the Modern Hotel for their new years party at about 10:30. There is a big line and I dont like it. I walk around the line and almost make my way into the venue. Nobody is stopping me, but then mr bouncer is like wristband. And im like oh where is the will call?? Then I walk around into the line and cut all the people and get in. Yeaya. A big ballroom inside, pool area to chill outside. Im alone since my friends are coming later. Place is a little bit overwhelming. Ask some questions to people to get the momentum going. Proof not promises right. Then go outside by the pool to chill. Get a water, talk to the bartender, everyone. Before I didnt be social because I was lazy and that is energy, plus I was afraid of how they reacted badly. But now im just like talk to everyone, get more proof that you are in a good friendly place. Let your brain realize you can be the higher value unstifled man, and then the night will just get awesome.

So anyway chill by the pool. Ask some girls for a cigarette. They refer me to some guys. Go get a cigarette, blow kisses at the girls. Sit behind them blow more kisses and silly flirting. She waves me over, asks me for a light. I am lazy and lying down and they are like 15 feet away and thinking I dont want to DLV myself, Too far. Maybe next time I should just go in, they were giving me the opportunity to chill with them. Anyway They get some other guys to help them shortly. Chill for a few mins, then they leave the one girl walks over and we hold hands and flirt. Then she walks away. 

I re-engage her a bit later, kind of blah. Whatever. Go inside meet a coworker buddy. He is happy to see me, gives me some chapagne and tells me to come chill. Cool. Hang out its almost midnight, go to the pool to watch the fireworks. my coworker is with all his buddies and so I wander. 

I come across some highschool friends, 2 girls. One i used to hang out with, her friend is a hottie. And this hottie seems to like me. I talked to her acouple weeks ago in waikiki and her body was surpisingly very compliant to my touch. So sweet, hugs and I chill with them. Its almost midnight, so im with HB I tell her I need a new years kiss and claw her. She smiles. I tell her we need to practice. Hahah then kiss her on the cheek. Whatever, fireworks go off. Out of nowhere she ninja pecks me on the lip. Haha I feel like a pimp. Hot girl kissing for new years sweet! I wanted a like makout tongue down, but it was just a quick kiss. I think she might have been nervous about it actually, looking back. And I wasnt dominant grab her head and face rape. I kissed another girl tonight, and she was more dominant then me, another high school girl. So I definately need to learn how to grab girls and face rape them.

I dont display to them any form of dominance. Like When I fuck a girl, I can grab her toss her around whatever, but Im too shy to get physcial in a dominant way because I guess im ashamed of being sexual. I realized this tonight lol. Because I was thinking about how do i get more horny in set with hotties. It doesnt happen, unless they have their hands or ass massaging my crotch I usually wont get a boner. 

So kiss the girl, just watch fireworks, hand on her hip. It feels like its getting boring, and akward, so I eject to say happy new years to my cowoker whos a bit away. Then I want to go back to hang out with the girl, shes sad asked me where I went. I did an unitentional freeze out. HAHAAH cool. 

I can tell shes sad, so I hold her very boyfriend like and kiss her face, smell her. Then just hug her body and hold her. I tell her she feels good. Then I look to the right and her two friends are just watching us, and im thinking like fuck.  The fireworks are over, they are closing the pool. The girls bounce, I tell her we should hang out, check to make sure I still have her number... Yup. Hug and bye. 

Im rolling around solo for a little bit. Telling random people everyhwere happy new years. My friends get to the place. We check out addiction the club, everyone is coupled up. 

Bounce over to Ginza night club. In the club, fun times. Grab some girl and she grinds on my dick for a minute or two. Cool.

See a girl from before, hug and happy new years, then she kisses my face. I kind of cheek her. She was very dominant like just grabbed me and went for my face. Usually when I kiss girls im a little pussy bitch, like asking for permission to go for the kiss. Instead of just like suprise! BOOM! were kissing. So She taught me that cool. She dances off. 

I see her a bit later in the night, grab her. Say new years kiss! and then get a good makeout. Friend says we're leaving and drags her off. hahaha.

See a bunch of dudes I know, by the end of the night im just chilling with guys hanging out talking shit whatever. Im just enjoying New years eve. Not attached to any needy outcome of desiring sex with any girl. Just not trying and expressing myself. Just getting proof not promises. I feel awesome!! And got some results to go along with this. Tonight I almost totally released desiring sex, and cool end up kissing 2 girls. Havent done that in a couple weeks. Sweet night!!

Well heres to a year a of pimping it up in 2012!!

Day 49 1-1-12 

Just chilled with a girl, the 33 yr old milf i been dating a while. Kinda just recovering from the NYE party night.

hung out with this girl, a little making out and she played with me a little bit. No sex oh well. She bought me dinner. Awesome!!

Kissed 3 girls in the past day. feel kind of like a pimp. Hahaha.

Happy new years bros

 Day 51 1-3 Waikiki street game.

Blah, wierd day, wasnt feeling it. Pushed myself into some sets. Being a pussy. Opened weak, about 5 sets, nothing hooked. Went home.