THE FORUMS

May 15th. I've been thinking about this day for as long as I can remember - i get nerdy about my womanizing shit. This is the time of the year in NYC where the skirts come out, people whip out the shades and no real work gets done for the next 16 weeks. Straight up prime time glory time. I've been working HARD on myself for the past couple of months and I'm close to hitting yet another breakthrough in my belief and confidence levels. 

Right now, for the next 2 weeks my main focus is going to be on improving a couple more areas of my game that I sort of ignored. I like that I push myself to focus on these things because I really do feel that I get a whole lot better every 10 or so nights - that's the great bonus of going out all the time. If I can keep my focus I should be golden.

1. Text and follow-up game -  Won't lie to you - this is ABSOLUTELY killing me at the moment. I lose 95% of my really really solid interactions through me running retarted text game as a lot of times I don't have crazy time to waste w/the chick as I have to be up around 8 in the morning so I have to # close a lot of chicks that would have probably been straight pulls..... I literally get anxiety when sending out texts, I just feel so uncomfortable w/it because I suck and have no idea what I'm doing.

All is good, I signed up for Manwhore's private follow-up game Skype sessions so all I have to do is work extra hard on the lessons he provides me with and do what I can and he will help steer me in the right direction. Making sure that in my down-time I'm reading people's conversations on his forum and analyzing what they're doing right and doing wrong. 

2. Willingness to walk away and lose sets while going for the hottest girl possible (straight up over entitled icy asshole) - One thing I really admire about Julien and Tyler is that they refuse to play the bird in hand i.e. if they're w/a 7 - they'll ditch the 7 and go for the 9 if they see the 9. Which is so fuckin tough to do. Especially if you've been in set w/a girl for over 20 minutes and you guys have chemistry..... I'm going to do this for awhile because when I'm in set w/a chick for like 20 minutes I start to feel attached.  Like even if I see another chick after #closed the 7 or 8  - I'll be reluctant to let the girl see me pimp another girl because I don't want to come across as a scumbag player. Fuck it - if i lose the chick, i lose the chick. My text game isn't that good at the moment anyway so this is the perfect time to do it. Also, I will be highly focused on getting #s during the day-time once again so if I'm that worried about getting no buns I can just FOCUS on making sure I run the correct follow-up game. For instance, on Saturday I met this awesome 7 with a tight body and as soon as her friend pulled her away to go home even though we had serious chemistry - I felt my state drop. The only way I can get over this issue is cutting all sorts of attachment and that's by continually cutting good interactions and going for even hotter chicks. I'm not looking forward to doing this at all but I'm trying to chip away at my fuckin comfort zone at the moment so I can see some epic shit like 2 months down the road.

3. Continuing to always incorporate the PUSH at the first moment I get an opportunity - This is so big. The PUSH is so important and that's what creates the attraction in a lot of sets. Just so fuckin important. Can't stress this enough. As I start to peel off blind spots and continue to realize how MONEY of a guy I am. I will continue to do this. 

4. Going deeper into authenticity and being more expressive w/it. - I'm going to start being even more authentic and saying whatever I want. I also think I need to not over-apologize for my bluntness. Maybe tops ONE statement of empathy to the girl. Being unapologetic and un-reactive. It's just what I do - I've always been politically incorrect and speak from the heart when i was younger and people always used to criticize me for it - now just being blunt and being comfortable in my own skin.....On the other hand, when I'm feeling extra intense, hyper, and overwhelmed w/positive emotions bringing in all that self-amusing pimp talk so the girl doesn't think i'm so over-eager chode. 

5. Really staying focused outside womanizing (future programming/entrepreneur goals, being 100% responsible in my day job, staying on top w/my soccer and cardio) . I take everything so seriously in my life because I understand that SUCCESS is a habit. I want to keep up the intensity. Right now I'm busy for like 16 hours a day Monday - Thursday. I just need to keep this up Friday - Sunday (like 12 hours of productivity) and I will really reap the benefits of my hard work down the road. Just really want to hone my work ethic on the weekend. It's hard to stay motivated then but I can do it - I've done it before.

 Thu 05/17 (Day 87)

Been a pretty tough week @ work - and running on continous nights of only 4 to 5 hours of sleep which isn't exactly helping my cause. After soccer, I hit up some chick reading her book on the train while headed back uptown back home. End up talking for like a good 20 mins - good chill rapport shit and grab her #. Felt good to be back in the swing of things outside the club!

Hit up the club solo around 1:30 - doorman makes me wait for a good 15 - 20 mins. I just chill back, talk a little shit to the bouncers but mainly just chill back. Finally lets my black ass in - the wait is worth it - top club and 90% of the girls are fuckin HAWT....Gonna come here like 2-3 times a week in my fresh hipster shit and just build up door equity so 3 months from now I don't have to wait. Walk in feeling really good even though there's mad chaos. Hit up a bunch of sets - start off feeling really good but come 30 mins into the night I'm a bit stifled.

Finally starting to hit it up - sort of hate the bottle service layout - doesn't really allow me to build crazy momentum but whatever. I hit up a lot of sets, some sort of hook, some don't but it's not really a great night. I came later to realize I was having trouble tonight because I was playing the smooth card and not being my authentic self. Around 3 I just take a seat and just watch everyone else have fun. Sort of depressing that I was tired and couldn't push it. Eventually leave like 20 minutes later.


Fri 05/18 (Day 88)

Nights like this are y i play the game. Love the ups and downs - just gotta it.... so thrilling.

Was on some approach anxiety shit for most of the day...... I only managed to talk to one bird on the way to soccer.... Just was lacking entitlement for some reason - I kind of felt sluggish. Had doubts to whether all this crazy macro-momentum i was building every day over the past couple of months was worth it. Was feeling frustrated w/my inability to run proper follow-up game..Lot of negative shit swirling around in my head during the day... Get home, watch the Tyler vid on entitlement and come to realize - THERES NO FUCKIN REASON FOR ME TO NOT BE KILLING IT.t Especially how i've been stepping up - especially in this area of my life for the past 3 months.

Meditate before going out using "I AM THE PRIZE" mantra. Funny enough it makes me super relaxed and calm. Head out in Brooklyn. Looking really sharp tonight. Focused on being 100% authentic so I was side-stepping and dismissing shit tests left and right. Chicks were loving it. Roll up on some cute Mexican girl who looks Persian or Indian. My type of shit. First I isolate her from her friends on the dance floor. Then I move her to another part of the bar.

At first she's really tense and acting almost stupid as her friends have to sort of convince her to chill out w/me when they come in to check in on her. For the first 20 minutes, she won't even let me touch her and makes a big deal about little physical escalation. I'm really authentic w/this girl and describing the social dynamics of the whole interaction. I'm also being very blunt about my positive and negative qualities - telling her every single embarrassing detail of my life - when I lost my virginity, talking vaguely about the process of game and how i find out more about myself every month. Explain to her why I usually go out by myself. Very blunt shit. I felt so free and I just didn't care (i should do this all the time). I'm also however telling her what I don't like about her behavior (she's 22 so she's giving me all types of annoying shit tests - which i call her out on and i also call her out on not being able to think for herself).

Being authentic is great, this girl was eventually super WON over and would not let me leave her sight. Really really gaming me. Getting me water from the bar, holding my coat in her hands while I waited in line for the bathroom - really trying to game me. She asked for my # several times and I kept playing it aloof as It felt good to have a cutie do all this stuff. This is the way it should be.... Another point is that when you're authentic you can tell a girl whatever you want, and she'll tell you exactly what's on her mind. She kept mumbling things like "o u owe me sex" and "damn i want to go home w/you". She was pretty sober.

When she goes to the bathroom, I feel some sort of attachment to her. I decide that I want to roam around the bar and talk to other girls. I talk to 2 other girls but the approaches were weak because I liked the girl and I was still attached to her. Going for a girl just as hot or hotter while you have a hot girl all over you is some tough shit to pull off. I want to stick w/going for other girls and losing a girl that likes me because once I get rid of attachment my shit will get so much better.

She comes back from the bathroom, we chill out, bullshit for awhile, a little making out, etc etc. I go for the pull 3 or 4 times during a 3 hour time period in the bar. Every objection is something about her friends. Eventually around 3:30 I decide to make one last great EFFORT. I walk her over to her friends and tell them we're going to another bar. The friends go "no bars close at 4" and all that kind of bs. Something in my brain goes FUCK IT - and I just grab my girl's hand and just walk her out the bar. No hesitation whatsoever. She just follows me out the bar.

We get halfway down the block and then she starts objecting about her friends, etc etc. I tug at her to come, she doesn't comply. I even pick her up at this moment but she's objecting. I get bored at this point and realize I have nothing to lose so I just sort of self-amusingly drop my jeans to my ankles and make her pick up my jeans. It was funny because she was struggling to really pick them up cuz they're skinny. I start challenging her even more as I tell her "yo if i walk around like this w/my jeans at half-mast, you just know that some other girl tonight is going to see me and then start feeling my cock" in a playful British acccent.

I end up chilling w/her for like 15 minutes outside until the bar closes while her friends go "Girl enough of him! Let's go home". We exchange #s.

She sends me a text shortly afterwards...

4:15am
Her: "You are rediculous…sorry I couldn't hangout longer namaste"
Me: Just got home…LOL @ these drunken hipster ninjas
Her: U are one so the jokes on you

4:30am
Me: Most definitely an African warrior not a ninja
Me: Get it together girl before Boquisha does it for you.


Maybe could have made the end of the text exchange a bit better but not going to sweat it. One of my best interactions ever. I expect this to be the standard in a couple of months.

Lessons Learned:

-Pushing through comfort zone in daytime.
-Reading my journal when i'm pissed to sort of
-I think I should have gone up to her friends earlier instead of @ 3:30 and made up her mind for her..

Wins:

-One of my best sets ever. I did a lot of things right. Was 100 % authentic. Conveyed both positive and negative emotions to her. Had her completely reacting to me. Just a really good buyer - seller dynamic. Was mellow because of lack of sleep but I'll take it..

-I AM THE PRIZE + BEING AUTHENTIC + PUSH (conveying positive and negative emotions) is one deadly fuckin combination...

-Was really authentic. I really wish I knew about authenticity like 3 years ago. Damn makes life so easy. I think I can get away w/even saying even more than I want to see you naked later..

- I AM THE PRIZE (I'm really starting to see a new level of interest from girls - it was awesome tonight - a lot of girls had this look in their eyes when they were looking at me - especially the ones that gave me shit earlier or had a BF). Alex's example of high value guys relating to the girls is like a person coming to your door saying you get a free Ferrari makes so much more sense now. The girl just couldn't believe that I was talking to her and liked her. Interesting stuff. Pretty girl as well.

Btw, some HOT intern chick dropped her phone # off on my desk at work today. Chill ass girl - I hope I don't fuck this one up over text...

*** I wanted to add that the reason why I prolly had a bad night last night was I should have went is because I didn't execute the right principles.**

A bad night to me btw is when I don't act in alignment w/my principles and take the right action. The right action would have been to go up to girls w/a real man's blowout instead of 

I've also come that although I usually resist it - I should start to do some inner game exercises. Although I feel I have some very strong beliefs and good principles, there's a bunch of sticking points and blind spots I'm sure that I have. I'll start to post those up soon on here. One of my biggest sticking points I've come to realize is that my end game is weak in most areas of my life. My soccer coach pointed this out to me not too long ago. He's like "you will do everything right and sometimes it's some real good stuff except the last move...it's like you lose focus when it comes to the final pass or final shot.". I see similar shortcomings in game - I do a lot of things right and when it comes time to really focus I can be really fragile at times. I'm not going to sweat it. As time goes by and I get more and more reference experiences, and build up the iciness/stamina I will be clinical.


Sun (05/20) (Day 90)

Had a lot of fun tonight. I start the night off doing karaoke in downtown Manhattan... I love doing this shit. Great way to express myself. While I'm waiting I just start talking to this cute artsy girl. Pretty much an indirect approach....Just talking nonsense - she ends up being on "laughing gas" for awhile. I'm not even being funny. I sort of chill back while her gay friends are all commanding her attention and being EXTRA.... - I can't compete w/that shit. While I'm chilling out - my RAS is on all the other hot chicks in the venue (there were a good 4 or 5 stunners - weird for a random ass bar on a Sunday Night - it was tough for me to NOT go up and approach them. I should have approached them) .

We end up doing a duet together which was cool. I actually only came back to this bar because I really really want to fuck the bartender. Like super bad - man that girl is FINE. Ok next Sunday I will focus - just don't know how to approach one on some sexual shit. I grab the girl that I was hitting on # and head to another bar. I didn't like that the buyer-seller dynamic felt a bit skewed as I could internally feel that I wanted it just a bit more than she did. She was extra shy and nervous and that was prolly because she was single.

Head to the next bar, roll around n hit up some chicks and I still feel Saturday night's funk sort of happening where I'm all stifled and shit - Eventually meet this pretty tipsy underage dancer chick from Julliard. Slamming fuckin body. Cute as well. Pull her in n start talking to her. There's at least 3 other guys who kept trying to come in and grab her from me while I was talking to her. Never really had this happen in this aggressive manner but I kept screaming "IGNORE HIM. IGNORE." Move the girl a couple of feet away and keep vibing... Had a cool little roleplay w/her about Adam and Eve. Prolly the most self-amusing shit I've ever done. I was calling her a dirty little whore for eating the apple, and she was really into playing along...just really fun stuff... It was fuckin hilarious..... She sits down..I sit down next to her...Talk a bit more and we start making out..... She tells me I'm the first chocolate person she's ever hooked up w/ blah blah. DJ's kiling it and I feel like dancing so I start dancing. She kind of runs off but I'm really enjoying the song so I'm not going to chase too hard and let her do her thing. I also have to mention she came to the venue by herself. gahhh

Dance w/some other chicks while out the corner of my eye I see grabby chodes #closing her or whatever while she sits down. I have full belief that I'm going to pull her so I just sort of chill back. After the 3rd chode comes in I  realize i have to mark my territory, so I grab her and give her the option "do you want him or do you want me?" I see that her young ass is kinda overwhelmed w/guys hitting on her so she leaves the venue. Grabby chode is following her and I get the vibe that if I follow her as well it's kind of a losing battle in my opinion. I could be wrong here. I'll let this thought float around in my head for the next couple of days.

Hit up some other chicks and I'm pretty unstifled at this moment. Prolly about 30 mins later, I roll outside ready to leave cuz there's not too many sets. I'm talking shit to the bouncer and we notice some homeless dude touching some girl's leg. Roll up w/the bouncer out of self-amusement and it's the fuckin dancer chick from before. She's sitting next to some British couple and they ask me what my name is. I'm like Katalyst and they're like "yo she really likes you...you guys clearly like each other".... Especially the girl in the couple. I sort of look at dancer chick and offer my hand and the homeless dude is now trying to fight me and yelling at me "YO CHILL THE FUCK BACK...CHILL THE FUCK BACK".... I stand my ground very chill and he's getting all aggressive and angry for no reason.  Dancer chick goes fuck this and jumps into cab. FUCK. 

Homeless man eventually fucks off and I talk to the British couple. Im really curious to why they were vouching for me so HARD......They were telling me about how the girl was talking about me to them when she came outside and was saying I was really nice (yea nice as in playfully calling her a dirty whore for kissing a chocolate man)...They also mentioned how she said she didn't think she had a chance because she was feeling drunk and was scared she was going to fuck it....o unlucky. fuckin young chicks. 

Some next homeless man comes up like 10 mins later when i'm vibing w/the couple and just starts coughing on the couple and I just lose it and start fuckin crying. That shit was so random, dick and absurd. Hit up a couple more sets inside and I find it super difficult to leave because I'm having so much fuckin fun. Fuckin day job.

I also always doubt myself but fuck  - i have to ask myself - how much fuckin proof do I want that I AM ENOUGH? Like seriously? Why do I lack CONFIDENCE? Over and over again. Why do I always have to wait for permission to be 100% authentic.

Despite my "issues" fuck i love this game. So much fun. I'm really enjoying going out more than ever at the moment.


Lessons Learned:

- I'd really like to blast through this willingness to walk away sticking point (i.e. walking away from a girl you really like or have chemistry w/ to find another girl that's just as hot or HOTTER).... After the duet, a couple of the girls I had initially wanted to approach at the first bar came up to us were telling us how good we look blah blah. These girls weren't bisexual. Made me realize, I could have just ditched the first girl and gone for the other girls..They seemed really into me...Not like that matters, but. I'd really like to start always going for the hottest chicks. These girls were stunners. My girl was more of my type (artsy chick that's like a 7 or 8) but these girls were stunners. If i can focus and just accept that it's ok to lose a 7 or 8 that really likes you for a 9 I'll be golden. It's going to be tough but I want to blast through this attachment to the girl I like shit. Be so icy. Get a little butt-hurt so I come back even stronger. YES

- I AM ENOUGH. 

- Idk if I should have pushed this to the bitter end. As in like jump in the cab w/her on some obnoxious shit. I have to really think this through or fuck it - maybe i'll just try it next time and just be a creep and figure out the calibration for "pushing it to the bitter end lies"


Wins:

- The PUSH creates the attraction. I did a fair amount of PUSH on the dancer chick and she really liked it. I'm going to start doing this consistently because I really enjoy the kind of vibe that it brings. Really cements that I AM THE PRIZE and I've selected her out of all other girls.

- I'm more icy. I just didn't care like I used to that she left. I'm starting to understand I really can only derive some sense of happiness from my actions never hers. Chicks are flimsy emotional creatures. I can't control what they do...I mean I can still act like a pussy from time to time - but i'm becoming more and more indifferent. Chances are I'll find another chick just as good or even better. I'll even be better off...

- There wasn't this great big rush to do something tonight. Just need be.

- Meditation is getting better. I've obnoxiously been repeating in my head "I AM THE PRIZE" I AM THE PRIZE" "I AM THE PRIZE" while meditationg......I've become really present while meditating as a result. Fun stuff.

It's like Snoop Dogg said "game got rules, if you lose a ho you got to gain a ho"