THE FORUMS

February 17th, 2018
LOVE IN THE (Austin) MOONLIGHT
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OutofBacon!

OutofBacon!

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Join Date: 12/02/2010 | Posts: 782

 Craziness. Sounds like I should do Sedona method, I think I have a problem with neediness sounds like it might help. Always good to create space in your life for something new and better to come in.
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Neighbor

Neighbor

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Join Date: 12/23/2010 | Posts: 402

 well there goes my morning entertainment on the metro in the mornings :-/

good luck with your journey, homie. 
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Sky N

Sky N

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Join Date: 02/27/2011 | Posts: 114

 Ok yeah sedona is the shit. I was already using it after you first posted about it, but I was and still am having trouble bringing some feeings up to the surface to release on them. 
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Jake454

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Join Date: 01/05/2011 | Posts: 1117

 How do you balance feeling emotions for a girl and not giving off a needy vibe, I find myself often either cutting off the emotions witha girl because of negative past experiances or fighting myself internally to afraid to say anythign about liking her in fear of fucking it up. this is only in somecases but I think youll know how to answer this because of the Michelle lay report.
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ceoarob

ceoarob

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Join Date: 05/20/2008 | Posts: 1293

 There's a time and place for everything.

For me, expressing myself and "allowing myself to fall in love with girls" was simply a security matter. I was afraid that if I opened myself up, I would either get hurt, rejected, or let-down. Most of that was coming from wanting security, but the "fear of loss" feeling that I had mainly came from wanting approval.

Anytime that you're wanting approval, you often do the right things to get disapproval. For me, I'm able to open myself up to chicks and express the way that I feel because it's coming from a place of space and freedom. It's not always coming from wanting approval whenever I say these emotional things to women. 

"I hate you's" And "I love you's" all have their specific time and place

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I started writing this after I spent the night with my 41 y/o girlfriend talking and fucking all night after I told her I was leaving. She reminded me of a very important thing about love. She said something like, "when you love somebody enough, you're able to let them go".

On a more practical note with hitting up chicks, I found that the more I let go of wanting approval from the chick, the more I was able to be free in my own way. Before I've fucked a chick, I'm not going to say stuff like, "Oh you're so awesome...you rock my world blah, blah". I'll save that for afterwards. One can feel emotions for a chick, but realize that it's completely natural.

For me, if I try to control my emotions (suppress them or try to get them to go away) or even try to cut them off, they never really go away. They might go below the surface, but they never actually go away.

With The Sedona Method, I learned that emotions come up so they can be let go. Whenever I feel these emotions of love, happiness, joy, courage, or whatever, I just allow them to be. I found that the more I let these positive emotions go, the more of them I have in my life.

The more I let go of WANTING approval from somewhere/someone outside of me, the more I realize that I already have any emotion within me already. You are what you seek.

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In regards to saying, "I like you", I tell this to chicks all the time before I have sex with them. I'll usually save it for AFTER the makeout, but it just kinda comes out. Usually, it'll be in a playful manner and I might eventually tell them, "Never mind, I hate you". But it's still fun and games. You don't actually know a chick until after you've fucked her. She could be completely weird (as I've found out with a couple chicks), or she could be really awesome, the definition of a True Woman, nurturing, etc.

Just practice saying, "I like you" and "I love you" to chicks that you meet in your interactions. Albeit, it'll just be for giggles and shits, but you'll find out that words are just words.

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To add on real quick, David Deida wrote in "The Way of the Superior Man" that a man should love with an open heart, even when it hurts. If you get rejected for saying this stuff, then you get rejected and move on. If you're coming from a place of WANTING approval, then you might get rejected because you don't actually want the girl, you just want her approval. On the flip side, you might just want security

Even with Michelle, the chick you were referencing to, I wanted to tell her that I loved her. She would've said it back too, but I was just too afraid because I didn't want to fuck shit up. I was wanting security more than actually allowing myself to be free and open with her.

I think that it's just a matter of allowing oneself to be free and open in spite of possible rejection or disapproval.

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On a final note, I think that my intrinsic value as a man and person knows that I'm a one of a kind type of guy. Literally, no girl is going to be able to meet any guy like me who can give her the emotions that I can, give her the experiences, get to know her, and actually lead her into being a greater and more fulfilled woman.

This is more of an advanced thing, but it's a matter of knowing your values, knowing your own worth as a man, and knowing yourself. Once I started honing into mine, I became completely comfortable with rejection and even comfortable with "walking off" on chicks.

The clock is ticking. From the second that you step into the nightclub, the clock is ticking. From the second you are born, the clock is ticking. What you do with those valuable seconds that pass by each day is completely up to you.

I used to live in fear on a day to day basis. Always wanting to die. Staying completely closed off from other people and the world around me. Hiding my gifts from the world.

Now, I allow myself to open more and more everyday. Sometimes a lot, sometimes a little bit, but I allow myself to open as best as I can, all the time. When I'm closed and clinging to a want/desire, I feel the victim of the world - I feel defensive, controllable, and scared.

When I open, I realize that the freedom I "wanted" was always here. It was simply a matter of me letting go of my emotional wants so that I could be the freedom that I already am.

"Want so, have not. Want not, have so."

-AR

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Jake454

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Join Date: 01/05/2011 | Posts: 1117

 Wow man, that was so much more than I expected and im sure its not just for me! Hopfully everyone who reads this will get something out of it too 
on a personal note though im gonna be reading this once a day for at least ten days and try and apply all these things simply because I know i need to based of my minds reluctance to answer some of the questions I asked myself.

Thanks man
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newstuff18

newstuff18

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/29/2011 | Posts: 411

Good stuff man.  Recently I am moving out of a small/moderate plateau in terms of approaching and expressing my true self.  Many of the mental "programs" running through my head and a few of the deeper issues, such as you are enough, are being slowly straightened out.  It's funny because these new paradigms/attitudes are described almost exactly in the post you wrote up. :)
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1st Bootcamp (Oct 13, 2011): www.rsdnation.com/node/202288/forum 2nd BC (Jun 14, 2012): www.rsdnation.com/node/232206/forum Progress Journal: www.rsdnation.com/node/211535/forum "Game is like a cold shower; It's always a shock when you first get in but it leaves you refreshed, increases your testosterone, and isn't for the uncommitted" -newstuff18
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ceoarob

ceoarob

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Join Date: 05/20/2008 | Posts: 1293

 A month ago, I met someone who touched my heart and reminded me that there are still good things in this world. Tonight, I found someone who touched my soul and reminded me that this is just the beginning. Thank you Austin, Texas. I'll see you again soon.

I'd like to thank those closest to me (you know who you are) and those I might not have had the opportunity to meet, but have had the opportunity to share ideas or thoughts with via this digital platform. 

This is just the beginning. Earlier today, I wanted to delete this thread and my account, but I'm leaving it here so that anyone reading this can know that this is just the beginning. Relationships, love, and sex is just a small part of it all. This is *just* the beginning. 

Right now, there's a horizon where anything and everything is possible. I was looking for it for so long, then I stopped looking and realized that it was already here now. The same goes for any person reading these words. 


Allow yourself to let go and be the openness of love and freedom that you already are. 

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Final Book Suggestions: 

-Way of the Superior Man
-The Sedona Method
-Wild Nights
-Dear Lover 

-----------------

Cheers. 

-AR

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G Bizz

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/17/2010 | Posts: 525

Thanks bro. This journal is incredible.
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duenher

Senior Member

Join Date: 06/04/2010 | Posts: 246

what do you do for a living?
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