October 23rd, 2018
Distant Light:"10 Game" Lifestyle Design (Pics/Vids)
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Trusted Member

Join Date: 07/06/2011 | Posts: 1681

Bebopjoker wrote:
1. i rather practice cold approach than build a social circle. why? what are you going to do if you dont got a social circle to get laid?

2. those dudes in those social circles are idiots, any decent pua would run circles around them. why? cus they know what the fuck they are doing in the interaction. these social circle dudes may be consider naturals but constantly make the same mistake over and over again with woman whether is attraction, qualification, comfort etc.

3.  They will go through life fucking broads here and there in their social circle and the occasionally drunk chick  and finally settling down with a girl who likes him who he is.... never realizing he could do better. Never realizing, he had control of his love life.
He didnt know how he got  her but it must be his soul mate right? LOL

i feel like a puppetmaster when talking to chicks cus i seen the same shit over and over again. I rather have a girl tell me she thinks im a player and im good at this (pick up) and run away than to be some dude who relies on his social circle.

Social circle is the end objective.....  BUT Why not master pickup? its a fucking game and its fun

Social cricle is a cop out

1. thats why you BUILD a social circle, plus social circle does give you more LONGTERM options than cold approach ever will, if you can build one you can do it again
2. there are LOTS of people out there who have no idea what "game" is, yet they get laid like rockstars, you dont have to be smart to get good with bitches.
3. if your social circle consists of ALL STUNNERS or your ideal type (such as Distant Light's does) then does he not have more control then the pua that just goes from approach to close with whoever will take him

your being very closed minded about this.
DL has options and resources that the average pua would fuck up (myself included) due to the fact that he works at it from a social circle perspective instead of going cold approach style on girls.
and his goal is not to be a manipulative prick that bangs a lot of girls, its to build the ultimate lifestyle where women that HE ACTUALLY likes come and go through his life.
you go to a club and you have to build state and talk to fatties and shit in order to be able to somewhat comprehensively pick up a girl of your ideal caliber, meanwhile hes completely
surrounded by it ALL THE TIME.

i think everyone that is good at cold approach should take on his style of game because he has actually made pickup EFFICIENT. approaching 50 sets until one girl decides she'll fuck you
is a terrible waste of time for someone who has his shit locked. 

im biased because ive been a fan of distant light since this journal started, however it doesnt change the fact that the idea behind it is completely genius.
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Distant Light

Distant Light

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 2390

BepobjokerI'm glad you posted bruv, I think this is the stuff skeptics need to know about...

For me its not about cold approach vs social circle its more about the larger picture. IMO, 100 lays from cold approach and 100 lays from social circle are the same "100" lays. The question is, did you truly live your life in the manner you wanted? Better yet...

Would you rather followup through texting/calling/day2s with 100 women OR simply live your life with 100 girls calling/texting you? You can generally tell from that answer which community dudes are chasing validation.

My lifestyle was built from cold approach, if I moved to a new city I would simply BUILD ANOTHER SOCIAL CIRCLE. Keep in mind their are diffefent avenues when I say "social circle"...
1. Cold Approach, its a TOOL that allows you to create your life
2. Your Social Circle, allows you to hand select the people thanks to COLD APPROACH. For instance, 90% of the women I know are 5'8+ and all of them are very upbeat/wild. (Many openly bi)
3. Other's Social Circle, if your part of the right circles you technically could work your career 5-7 days a week and still hookup with gorgeous women. My circles consist of lesbian/gays, models, fashion chicks, and euro crowd. One day I am with the gays and next day I am with models. Its my choice, women i meet off cold approach love this aspect of seeinf multiple worlds.

If all you do is cold approach you are dead ending yourself, PERIOD!!!

What happens if you don't hookup with that girl? Especially if your chasing, that relationship is DONE. There is a girl I messed with who I ended up messing with two of her friends, she got herself a BF and I still mess with her to this day. You know what she texted when I first met her "I am engaged, even if I wasn't I wouldn't be interested". Its only when I changed drastically, she is now the one who loves me and wants a relationship. As for the PUA vs Natural BS

Don't believe the hype...
Yes these guys are lucky to end up in this scene which has molded them BUT no pua can catch up to the quality or quantity. This is the only scene where a HOT chick is a chick. Seeing naturals in this high end scene is what opened my eyes and had me EXPAND MY AWARENESS. Not only did they have options of the hottest women in the world BUT they had tons of free time.

Yes, only a handful are competent at cold approaching BUT that compentence is more than enough to propel their lifestyle. What I'm doing isn't NEW to these people...
- A guy once PM'd me wondering if I was this guy known to cold approach models during the daytime. He supposedly knows 600 models. The guy is now under contract with a nightlife group that pays him 100-200k a year.
- The girl I COLD APPROACHED that ended up becoming bi-natural girlfriend, how she got into this scene was some guy COLD APPROACHED her at the airport. He brought her out to the two toughest clubs to enter and from there she met some promoter guy's gf since she too is bi. I met her when she was with a bottle buyer and she realized he was boring I was fun. That guy who met her at the airport didn't try to fuck her at all. Irony is, he doesn't even have to due to the almost infinite amounts of gorgeous women going to those 2 clubs that he apparently is connected too.
- My hipster friend is a really good dj, plays in a band and hosts a table 5x a week. I didn't know until recently MAJORITY OF NIGHTS he simply goes home to have sex. He's had a 3some with one of my gals and banged another one of my gals.

I won't even get into the crew of about 10 guys that I sometimes hang with. All I know 10-15 years from now they will be the playboys of NY. What was our method?
- Show up, bring girls along
- Have a fucking blast
- Choose the one (or ones) that you like

As a crew they roll with no less than 12 girls and now split in TWO different teams since the tables can't accomodate 25+ girls. I have seen girls begging to get these dudes and I have been called a dick for not banging certain chicks just due to me being caught up.

None of these guys would switch places with a PUA because not only are they having tons of sex with hot women BUT they have more than enough time to focus on living. Regardless your type its accessible...
- Celeb women
- Supermodels
- Video Vixens
- Artsy Hotties
- Barbie Plastic Gals

You're looking at social circle as black and white when really, everything overlaps and should be based on your overall vision in life. Yes, my boy approached lindsay lohan. Yes, leo dicaprio was interacting with one of my gals who he clearly could've banged. (Maybe leo should practice cold approaching too?) That is meaningless in the grand scheme of things because all leo has to do is show up to his "other" social circles and my boy is still with 12 girls who are hotter than lindsay.

Few last words...
I am not trying to convince anyone about anything, I rather they explore for themselves like tastycurry and his boy is doing...

Its only when your with 4 guys and 50 girls that you realize "community culture" puts you in a box and cold approaching is a TOOL nothing more. I know 5 years from now you don't want to feel horny and have to daygame at 5pm or constantly texting/calling to get a meetup.

Its not some affirmation when I state you're naturally attractive. So YOU around 50 girls its obvious you can have your pick with as many as you can handle. An this is why...
- I don't need to chase nor try
- Making out is like shaking hands to me
- 3somes and orgies might be the norm in the future

Last time I was out, in back seat of car feeling sick I makeout with girl to my right. As she moves forward to talk to people infront of the car I makeout with the 2nd girl. In the dj booth, with 3 other girls while my boy djs. He has one girl waiting it out to go home with him BUT he pulls a new girl instead. Meanwhile, a community dude is at the local bar burning down the venue.

I am not trying to sound douchey, i want people to step back and see the larger picture. Did you get in this for validation of cold approach mastery or actually improve your overall life socially and sexually?

I wasted 08 practicing cold approach and have NOTHING to show for it. In a matter of 1yr, I have access to a scene that caters to hot women and I hang with some amazing people. I don't regret nothing, its just back in 08 that was where I was at. Now, I am trying to balance it back and make money to support myself or else the train ride is over before it even starts.

Edit: Noticed new replies...
Poster who's question i skipped, I will get too another time forgot to reply. Anywho...

Tastycurry: you brought up some good points, the insecurities and retarded dynamics are the worst. Similar to model chick who is know the gf of my friend and isn't allowed to go out without him so she wants to sneak out and hang with me. MEN PRESSURE WOMEN, stop dating let them do what they want. If you leave the door open for people to come and go you will know who really values being with you.

I guess these are the aspects i rarely mention on here BUT in real life I always do. Women generally have shitty lives in terms of social and sex life no matter how glam it looks. Maybe I will get into this another time BUT this is essentially how I became abit of a hardass on women.

The latest thing that is FUCKED UP is watching how petty women will get if they don't get laid but there friend does. I used to joke that women dildo themselves to sleep most nights, I now wonder how true that is based on certain shit I seen.
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Trusted Member

Join Date: 10/12/2009 | Posts: 1922

 Yo DL,

This shit you post up is so interesting to me. Lately I have been asking why to alot of things. Like why do I do the things I do. I have been asking myself why I do pickup. And I really dont know a good answer for myself.  Of course there is the superficial aspect of banging hot girls. I have banged some hot girls, but it is not as fulfilling as I hoped it would be. I am realizing that I should search for fulfillment in my lifestyle. And then is a life style of cold approach really what I want? Theres the rejection aspect where I am now pretty numb to rejection, its just not the funnest thing I could be doing. I also find myself alone facing the world. Maybe thats how the world really is? I distanced myself from many of my relationships which were created prior to pickup because I felt like they were limiting my progress (Probably accurate). I am single now. I got laid about a month ago the last time, but I have no idea when it will happen again. I go out 1-3 hours a day in the week, and 6-10 hours a day on the weekends. It is alot of time commitment. Maybe theres a better way to do things. The vision I have for my life is kind of like the playboy guys that is probably your social circle in NY. Like I live my life and then when I go out for fun, I just have an amazing time with hot girls around. That sounds like the funnest thing in the world. Rather then going out solo to some random place and meet girls who for the most part act retarded and bitchy. Im just getting started on reading MBT on my kindle.
I just want to enjoy amazing girls. Crazy what sort of journey ive embarked on pursuing this quest.

My adventures in Dallas - 2013
 My adventures in Austin - 2012 
  Tyler/Julien, Honolulu Bootcamp July 2011 Tyler hotseat2 x5 (2011-2012) Alex hotseat x2 (2013)
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Junior Member

Join Date: 05/14/2012 | Posts: 7

Hey DL been trying this stuff out every night... I have a few questions,

I'm having trouble holding the "I'm the one to be chased" frame... was in taxi with two girls couple nights ago, and said something like "oh are you guys trying to kidnap me? where are you taking me?" ... They ran with the frame with something like "oh we arn't TRYING! ;)" ... I wasn't sure where to go after that so the frame kind of faltered and fizzled. We also got talking about how they have done some crazy stuff in taxi's, I was thinking I probably should have just took my dick out in the taxi and let them play with it.

On qualifying: What are the traits you qualify for? And are there "right" questions to ask?

I'm thinking something like:
Open Minded
Can dance
Low Matinence / Low drama

Your post a few pages back really made an impact, the one about what if a hot girl was coming up to me saying the stuff that YOU say. I'm trying to integrate that, but I seem to hesitate saying the "did you just say you wanted me to eat you out here? i mean we can do it later, but this is right out in the open!!" What's the tone of voice used, whenever I say these I think it sounds like I'm joking too much.

I'm still chasing chasing chasing, doing my best to recognize when I'm doing it. I'm also walking around saying in my head "she wants a dick, she wants a dick." But I'm forgetting it, my way of being is changing but it's still a work in progress, still search for that validation.

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Senior Member

Join Date: 01/24/2011 | Posts: 162

 What DL says is the truth. You guys should be taking notes.

I used to love the PUA school of thought about cold approaching. I had a lot of successfull players tell me it wasn't the way to go, but I ignored their advice. I knew that it was a path I had to travel and discover for myself. I feel like that's the way for everybody. Other peolpe who have been down the path can tell and warn you about better routes to take to get to your dreams, but in the end you have to discover it for yourself.

I tried out the lifestyle game thing for a bit and liked it, but was still wavering between the PUA mindset, until I read a book about Hugh Hefner's secret sex life. That book made me toss my old ways and strive to be a Playboy.

At the end of the day, a PUA is no competition for a Playboy. But that is something that has to be discovered by yourself.
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Distant Light

Distant Light

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 2390

Thats one of the biggest problems about TRYING, the inconsistency...

Community culture makes you think its alpha to go and take what you want. This is FALSE, the highest value males are GIVEN IN ABUNDANCE.

When you're chasing/trying to get a girl you are essentially NOT GIVING HER A CHANCE to figure you out at all because your sold already and now she is pressured to select. Now you are 1 of a handful of guys all trying to chase her. So now she has to choose between the "best of the chasers". Even funnier is that she doesn't need to hookup with you today, next week or next year because you are still dtf from the get go.

Thats where the inconsistency comes, I noticed ever since I simply stopped chasing and started living chicks were ADDICTED because instantly there was an escape from the pressures of their social/sex life. It wasn't a man hitting them up constantly trying to get a DATE or hookup. Heck, it almost seems like the guy is just too busy to even waste time focusing on her. On top of that there are other women trying to get his attention. So when that opportunity for her to hookup comes up she will lunge.

Assuming sunday is counted as a weekday, thats 18-38hrs a week of TRYING TO GET LAID. I think once you strip the BS all guys want to just have women around them and still have the freedom to do the things they enjoy. I personally don't remember all the women, I remember the moments that I enjoyed highly...
- Getting drunk with 9 or so girls and ending up in a strip club with 4 of them.
- Getting taken to see denzel washington on broadway and then taken out to sushi which was 200pp
- Having free dinner/hookah every sunday
- Hanging with my boys acting stupid and watching my boy 3way makeout and double finger bang these chicks
- Being so drunk telling my boy I'm gonna fuck some girl and 1min later I literally leave to fuck her.
- Partying with the playboys crew and bi-natural trying to crowd surf us but falls on table. Then me wondering how I got to the next venue without cash and ending up at a house party. (I met two girls they paid for taxi)
- Almost having a 5some or some shit, also the many interactions where I act like 1 on 1 sex is boring/lame so I 3way makeout and mess with both chicks at the sametime.
- Edc with my boys, warehouse parties with my gals
- Wild partying, gays, lesbians, bis making out at table. Me fingering a chick, lesbian model pouring alcohol on the table, and utter chaotic energy of fun.
- Trying to ride a bike with a girl on the bike DRUNK
- Hearing dada life, bingo players, porter robinson, r3hab, tommy trash, dash berlin, all play for FREE

I can't tell you a single cold approach I remember from march 08. Now, I don't knock going out it can be fun outside of he community way of going about things. While were at it, I've never truly seen a community guy go to these venues and kill it because...

Majority of groups are, MIXED SETS. I'm just socializing and having fun so this is a cakewalk and more times than not I become friends with the guys. An its Not like friends for the day it ranges from we say hi when we see each other to I hang at there table to I have there number. So when I am solo its like I reunited with long lost friends and now were living it up together. Other times I am just a walking manaic flirting with all and then I am in some seuxal situation.

Why I love living like this...
If you notice I talk about food, travel and partying alot, thats because no matter what I did with my life partying and food would be very important in my life.

Women that I am phyiscally attracted to are always there and around me. The option for sex is there everyday all I have to do is choose a girl and HAVE SEX...

Focusing on women would be so unprofitable and so now I just keep the processes going and LIVE...

My biggest goal is to have the ability to travel to other party destinations either solo recreating my lifestyle OR bringing sand to the beach by rolling in with a crew. Places/Events like...
- South Of France (Monaco, St Tropez)
- Floripa (Brazil)
- Party Islands (Mykonos, Ibiza, Marbella)
- Tomorrowland (Did you see the 20min youtube video amazing event)
- Burning Man Event
- Eastern Euro Party Tour
- Local Region (Miami, Vegas)

Similar to how the guy in the video has 70ppl fly into mykonos, they book out the whole hotel, already have pre-booked tables along with pool parties, daytime parties/brunches, yacht parties, etc. An still you end up cold approaching adding more cool people to the group. Also a few "well off" men who can blow some cash to make the experience even that much more incredible. Not only am I having a blast, eating good food and getting laid. But I am bringing others along to live it up too.

You are changing lives when you bring people along...

I probably look into the braddock social circle stuff, vaguely skimmed in the past...

Thing is you don't have to wait 4 years and also your missing out on opportunities. Stand on 14th n 9th infront of the apple store around 12-1, watch as 5-10 hot girls are in a mixed group of maybe 1-3 guys. While your scanning the streets these chicks are all packed in one club. The amount of effort it takes to walk around searcuing is the same needed to meet and roll to the better clubs with chicks so you can simply hand select.

I've always mentioned a community dude in those places have a better chance hooking up than most in those venues because a community dude will atleast give her a chance to meet him. (Noticed I didn't say approach) She will have no other options besides you so even as a tryhard you'll get something. IMO, just getting something is still BS.

Thats the difference between being and doing, you were on right track though...

That frame is a way of life, if you truly wanted to pull out your dick call em out, be creative giving them opportunities...
- Start rambling about how the last time chicks ended up pulling out your dick and it was a whole fiesta
- Call em out, "Where are you from? Ok, xyz girls arent shy be assertive if you wanna see it just ask and I just MIGHT"
- "Really, right here? Well atleast excite me so I make a strong impression when I show
- "Ok, so since I am already kidnapped how do I get free...hand or mouth" (Imply they gonna suck or jerk)

Qualification is abit weird to me since I find ask questions and seeing her traits as very basic. My qualification is more about...
- "Can she handle me?" - Meaning can she keep up and tolerate how I am?
- "Do I enjoy having her around?" - Meaning does her presence add to the overall experience?
- "Does our lifestyle mesh?" - If she isn't capable of partying hard then this will end rapidly.
- "Does she have traits I love" - Based on experience I like those women capable of being very upbeat/energetic who ooze feminine energy and are very nurturing/affectionate. They are highly sexual but aren't clingy, likes atleast flirting with girls.
- "Can she handle my philosophy of life?" - The foundation is if she can accept we only have fun/sex and she is free to do and hookup with whoever EVEN IF ITS RIGHT INFRONT OF ME. This is by far the deepest part since it spills into my truths based on exploration of consciousness. I'll explain later

Regardless if she passes those criterias she still must be...
- 5'8+ (Prefer 5'11) exception to this rule is very unique girls
- Face wise, eastern euro (slavic features) Unless they are what I call "distinct ugly" (not attractive to most but a huge turn on to me)
- Body wise, very slim/petite and long legs

- The French Look, messy full hair and french face YUM
- The German Look, average look that gets me going crazy
- The Edgy Hipsters, its mainly a combination of style, full body tattoos, and short hair.
- Huge Fake Tits, ever since that chicks DDs I have been hooked

This is just to show why I say qualification is more of a way of being stemming from YOUR OWN PHILOSOPHY because even if the chick makes the cut physically and meshes well. She better not continually cross boundaries or I am done. A few major ones...
- She must chase and take responsibility for her social/sex life
- She must not cause any complications, issues or drama to my simple care-free life
- She must not waste my time
- No negativity, keep things fun and free

As my philosophy of life grows, my standards and criteria grows too. If you noticed with friendzone chick I was done because she was fucking up my simpilicity and even worst she later wasted my time.

As for tone thats based on your personality, I tend to do it as throwaways normally or when really going back and forth I say it very jokingly. Where as my boy says it very seriously and confrontantional. My female friends have stated at times he is too intense BUT thats just chicks who weren't will to take responsibilty amyway.

Other girls jump in it and his interactions are much bizaree. Such as chicks basically saying they want him inside of them. I have heard him say "What!?!?! Say I won't eat your right here on the street" She OF COURSE SAYS IT, he wall slams and starts dipping down. Other chicks are looking in fascination til she stops him. In taxi with them she is grabbing his dick the whole time and I did some selective hearing that caused me to say "Wait wait, are you a giver or a receiver?" She says giver which I follow up being shocked at the possibility of my boy and her fucking since 2 givers together can cause a battle of giving pleasure.

As you explore the concepts more and more you'll put your own spin on it. I personally am a partyboy so more playful/childish. I am more likely to kiss one girl then the next as I laugh saying "I told you both of yall want my soul". I also notice I like doing setups such as asking if there bi just so I can state 1on1 sex is boring now.

Two different styles, different experiences, same concepts, same results...

P.S...whats name of that hugh hefner book...

P.S.S...Prob back out again tn, hyped up...Might just roll solo or have these 2 girls who hit me up come along. If thats the case will have a team of crazies. (Invite mr 8.5 and one of my newest crazies to come too)
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Senior Member

Join Date: 12/10/2009 | Posts: 179


1) Get standards
2) Be social
3) The girls who fit your standard you bring in
4) You give them an option whether or not they want to have sex...


I approve.
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Distant Light

Distant Light

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 2390

Another epic failure...
Welp, first off think me and bi-natural are done, can't deal with the BS. Sorry but my life is crumbling, can't be worried about my boy hanging up cause I am late to go out...

Hung out with model promoter, I should've never showed up. Ironcially before that I ran into THE PLAYBOYS, 18 girls 2 guys. They will own nightlife in the future. Model promoter has food, I chill.

His boy wants to bring THE GOLD MEDALIST SWIMMER WHO MADE HISTORY to the table to hang but we only have 3 models. I brought ZERO GIRLS. He is at the table next to us chillin with dudesn sipping beer. As girls notice they start to flock but my friend friend tells me he has a gf and doesn't give a fuck about any girls. I just wanted my gal to tell him t teach us both how to swim.

Tonight I felt like a VT since I had shrimp and thai wraps for free without bringing people. HOWEVER, i did bring a tranny to the table that I know and 2 hipster chicks. Both girls are on me hard and bounce me to other club...

At other club run into my boy i met through the community forgot his name. I am done, these girls are just dragging me around. I HAVE TO LEAVE. While leaving I like approach 3 different girls, 2nd one actually loves me and is the hottest, last 2 are skeptical but I was leaving so just let it go.

My impression is dying rapidly. A year I was known to know hotties now nothing. Am I running out of steam?
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Senior Member

Join Date: 01/24/2011 | Posts: 162

Distant Light wrote:

P.S...whats name of that hugh hefner book...

A lot of people have PM'ed me for the book, so I'll post it here as well.

It's called "Jill Ann: Upstairs". The ebook is available for free.
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Distant Light

Distant Light

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 2390

Thanks, bookmarked your blog, good write up...

You caused me to finally buy "dispatches from st tropez" and thankfully it was 3$ on amazon. Didn't go out early due to reading half the book already. I've always loved REAL ACCOUNTS of living it up. I technically could write a book too, maybe should start journaling my memorable moments.

I honestly can say, this book is inspiring for me personally cause its like a 2nd MASSIVE SIGNPOST. During acting school in 08 my 1st private consultation, my teacher stated how she always seen me walk in and inside she could see this personality DYING TO COME OUT but due to fear of people disliking it I kept it under control. After that I tore it up during the other half of 08.

MAJOR SIGNPOST, reading this post, meaningless to others but very moving...
- A mariyln monroe quote, talking about madness is genius and how being ridiculous is better than being absolutely boring.
- A metaphor about splashing our personal canvas with daring strokes and bold colors without thought of what he end result will look like
- "Worry is the distraction of the truest form of happiness"

The Smoking Gun
A story of how the author showed up at his fav brunch party and when a thunderstorm occured almost killing the party he told Dj to keep spinning and danced in the rain. As a result of his group still partying the staff removed all umbrellas because everyone went back to their tables PARTYING IN THE THUNDERSTORM. EVEN BETTER...
- Manager of another club gives him his card stating he's the best guy here and that him n his group are COMPed anytime so longs he BRINGS THAT SAME ENERGY...
- Another guy invites him to join his table at a club
- Invited to join a yacht after party
- Gets opened by an attractive chick, fucks her in yacht

This moved me personally because this used to happen almost every night when I used to just DO IT. This is why I used to love going out and having fun. HOWEVER, I noticed I've been trying to act well behaved instead of just being my usual mental self.

Out tn to cause damage
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