THE FORUMS
August 19th 2011 - Lay Report (Couchsurfing)
Arrived in Gatwick after a long flight at 8am London time. Proceeded to slowly get my bearings in the airport, call my dad, and decide to take a train out to a country town to get my bearings. Before I started my trip I had signed up to couchsurfing.com. For those of you who dont know its a site where people can offer their couch or spare bed or floor up to travellers (people will crash for a day or a week). Theres no money exchange. On the flip side as a traveller you can request to sleep on other peoples couches. Anyway before I left I had sent out a few requests and this bloke david responded to my couch request while I was on the plane. He lived in Horsham and offered to give me a ride back from the airport.
Adam was a cool guy from the start. Picked me up from Gatwick and we went to his house. They had a nice pad. It was friday night and they were having people over for drinks then hitting the bars. Slowly their friends started coming over, alec and laura first. I liked them a lot, thought they were dating. Im on the laptop controlling music and laura comes down and starts engaging me. I thought to myself that It was a little weird she was giving me so many solid IOI's while her boyfriend was here. Turns out they weren’t dating.
Drink more beer and we all go down to the town. At an English pub first, we have some beers and shoot the shit. There are now a couple girls im interested in but I dont know how to swing it. Next we go to a bar that has a dance floor and start taking a lot of shots. I realize I need to start moving forward with this girl laura. First step, Isolate. Thank god my drunk brain is thinking. I grab her hand and pull her to the dance floor. We grind for a bit. I go for makeout, declined. Dance. Go for makeout, declined. Dance. Go for make out, success. Make out. Make out. Make out.
Walk home ride donkey statue in street. Buy greasy food. Back at the pad we are sitting in each others arms, don’t really remember how I swung it but I last remember being in my room getting each other naked. Too drunk to get hard. Make out. Make out. Make out. Boner. Glory times. Make out more, cherish, sober up a little, then bone agian.
I got in state fairly quickly once the friends started coming over. I didnt have a sense of my bearings at first and when alec and laura came in I was queit and in my head. I forced myself to engage people and start talking, getting some rapport with everyone. I pushed through it though and once I had it, it lasted all night essentially. I know where I started though. That fucking familiar feeling of not having the 'cool guy manual'. You know you can be loud and joke around but its just not happening. This imprint sucks for making friends and vibing. Its good around my parents… that’s about it.
I notice something that helps get me in state. If someone else says something with a stress, just repeat it with an accent and kind of loud. Like alec says ‘it was the shittest bar in london’ you say, ‘THE SHITTEST’ but with an accent and LOUD. Its kind of fun, and helps get you in state. If your in a smaller group it will help push you into state. Worked for me.
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August 20th, 2011 – Chode Report
Woke up with a breeze, in a comfortable bed. Remember thinking how comfortable I was for some reason. A little hungover, think I remember barfing the last night… just a little bit. The bird was gone, found out later she left at 6am or so. Once we got our shit together we went to the ROFFERY GRIDDLE FOR SAUSAGES. Milkshakes here are not super great in the UK. Got home and went on the internet looking for motorcycles. Found the perfect one in Croydon, later find its only 700 quid. This bike would/will be perfect. Ran into administrative problems trying to buy the motorcycle, fuck.
I decide to stay another night before I head off to london the cinema at crawley to watch the inbetweeners. Fucking hilarious. We pick up ross on the way. In the car I am quiet and out of state. I remain out of state all the way home. Buy 20 beer for 10 pounds. Fucking cheap compared to Canada.
Back home drinking beers. Ross is getting into state. I had them invite laura over so I could go for round two. She gets to the flat but my game is fucking shit. I barely get an introduction. If its going to be awkward its YOUR fault. I feel bad thinking back to it. I was just sitting practically across the room from her. She even INITIATED ME but I couldn’t get the interaction to go anywhere. I couldn’t get a good vibe going. We watched dirty sanchez, the welsh version of jackass then some youtube videos on the flatscreen, then laura left at one am. Bye. Fucking rubbish.
The night was shit. But I learned something. You must lead the interaction. You must control the frame. The environment/ your situation can not be your frame. When is the environment going to get you laid? Im on the couch, laura is beside me and adam with his bloke are on the floor talking about work. I understand the logistics, I wont getlaid in this environment. I cannot openly hit on her either, I suppose I could have started vibing with her, striking up a converstation but it didn’t go well. Fuck that. I was to much of a bitch to even engage her for fear of people thinking I was just trying to sleep with her again. Its like you can manipulate reality in a way you want. I have a tendency to supplicate others realities when im out of state, just go under the radar with as little dispruption as possible. Bullocks. I knew the logistics, the pad was a 4 minute walk from downtown. ALL I HAD TO DO IS LOOK AT HER AND SAY HEY, LETS GO EXPLORING and she would have been down. Fuck couldn’t even step up to a bird I had already shagged. Well shit. O well.
Couchsurfing for Pickup
Couchsurfing can be used for pickup. Although it has its downfalls and there are some limitations… not to mention there are better alternatives. The problem is your stuck with the people you get. If your surfing with girls you could make it really awkard if you try something and fail. Sometimes hosts will give you a key to their house, but even then your pull logistics are kind of retarded.
-Look for hosts with pro-party allusions in their profile, such as ‘enjoys beer drinking’, ‘enjoys hanging out with friends’, ‘going to bars’ etc etc. You want to find these kind of people and get interjected into their social circle.
-Tailor your request to their profile for a higher success rate. It will also help once you have positive references from previous hosts.
-If you are trying to surf in a major city like Barcelona or London you’ll have a WAY higher success rate if you search for couches just outside (suburbs) of the main city. Thousands of surfers just type in LONDON, LONDON UK and send out requests to everyone on the list.
-If you can, stay in a hostel over couchsurfing. You’ll meet way more people and it’s the next cheapest alternative.
-Use couchsurfing if you want to extend your trip for financial reasons. Hosts will also feed you a lot of the time.
Woke up with a breeze, in a comfortable bed. Remember thinking how comfortable I was for some reason. A little hungover, think I remember barfing the last night… just a little bit. The bird was gone, found out later she left at 6am or so. Once we got our shit together we went to the ROFFERY GRIDDLE FOR SAUSAGES. Milkshakes here are not super great in the UK. Got home and went on the internet looking for motorcycles. Found the perfect one in Croydon, later find its only 700 quid. This bike would/will be perfect. Ran into administrative problems trying to buy the motorcycle, fuck.
I decide to stay another night before I head off to london the cinema at crawley to watch the inbetweeners. Fucking hilarious. We pick up ross on the way. In the car I am quiet and out of state. I remain out of state all the way home. Buy 20 beer for 10 pounds. Fucking cheap compared to Canada.
Back home drinking beers. Ross is getting into state. I had them invite laura over so I could go for round two. She gets to the flat but my game is fucking shit. I barely get an introduction. If its going to be awkward its YOUR fault. I feel bad thinking back to it. I was just sitting practically across the room from her. She even INITIATED ME but I couldn’t get the interaction to go anywhere. I couldn’t get a good vibe going. We watched dirty sanchez, the welsh version of jackass then some youtube videos on the flatscreen, then laura left at one am. Bye. Fucking rubbish.
The night was shit. But I learned something. You must lead the interaction. You must control the frame. The environment/ your situation can not be your frame. When is the environment going to get you laid? Im on the couch, laura is beside me and adam with his bloke are on the floor talking about work. I understand the logistics, I wont getlaid in this environment. I cannot openly hit on her either, I suppose I could have started vibing with her, striking up a converstation but it didn’t go well. Fuck that. I was to much of a bitch to even engage her for fear of people thinking I was just trying to sleep with her again. Its like you can manipulate reality in a way you want. I have a tendency to supplicate others realities when im out of state, just go under the radar with as little dispruption as possible. Bullocks. I knew the logistics, the pad was a 4 minute walk from downtown. ALL I HAD TO DO IS LOOK AT HER AND SAY HEY, LETS GO EXPLORING and she would have been down. Fuck couldn’t even step up to a bird I had already shagged. Well shit. O well.
Couchsurfing for Pickup
Couchsurfing can be used for pickup. Although it has its downfalls and there are some limitations… not to mention there are better alternatives. The problem is your stuck with the people you get. If your surfing with girls you could make it really awkard if you try something and fail. Sometimes hosts will give you a key to their house, but even then your pull logistics are kind of retarded.
-Look for hosts with pro-party allusions in their profile, such as ‘enjoys beer drinking’, ‘enjoys hanging out with friends’, ‘going to bars’ etc etc. You want to find these kind of people and get interjected into their social circle.
-Tailor your request to their profile for a higher success rate. It will also help once you have positive references from previous hosts.
-If you are trying to surf in a major city like Barcelona or London you’ll have a WAY higher success rate if you search for couches just outside (suburbs) of the main city. Thousands of surfers just type in LONDON, LONDON UK and send out requests to everyone on the list.
-If you can, stay in a hostel over couchsurfing. You’ll meet way more people and it’s the next cheapest alternative.
-Use couchsurfing if you want to extend your trip for financial reasons. Hosts will also feed you a lot of the time.
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August 21th, 2011 - Avoidance
Woke up today and did a good cleanup. Shower/shave/brush. Filled my water bottle, got cooked breakfast, took a good picture (below), then left. Walked into Horsham, got some footage of the town and hoped on the train to London. 20 bloody pounds for the ride. Everything is so fucking expensive.
Walked around London, past the palace and all the tourist stuff. Got to the hostel , paid and put my shit away. Cool. Walked down town with the intention of approaching. Did a few shit approaches asking for directions. I COULD NOT STATE INTENT. All I had to do was honestly say that I though she was cute. Fucking bullocks, I cant put my personality on the line?… so lame. I would open and be like, “hey,” and in my head Id be like ‘i just had to say I thought you were super cute’, but in reaility id say, “ahhh, ummm, where is leiscter square??”
Got to leiscter square and saw a sign to a casino. Fuck it, decided to play some poker. No more approaching today. Fuck.
I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t disrupt peoples reality. I couldnt be loud and intrude on their airspace. I had one pretty good interaction even too from my lame ass asking of directions. She was ioi’ing me. But again I couldn’t transition properly, I couldn’t lead. Reavaliation, leading is very important. Not only is it so tied into your masculine identity and doing what you want, its also SO FUCKING important for taking the interaction in a direction that you want. Leading is also tied into enforcing your reality (frame control) Overall it was a shit day for pickup. I realized how SCARED I am. Fuck. Starting to think about the ozzie bootcamp… not gonna lie, when I read ozzies BC reviews about FEAR TECHNOLOGY i was noticably rationalizing not signing up.. Well shiiiiit. I couldn’t even lie to myself subconciuoslly and say I wanted it… My brain was telling me, "bro, listen bro. just chill bro. you can do all that on your own. you dont need to pay a guy to push you..." sigh...
Woke up today and did a good cleanup. Shower/shave/brush. Filled my water bottle, got cooked breakfast, took a good picture (below), then left. Walked into Horsham, got some footage of the town and hoped on the train to London. 20 bloody pounds for the ride. Everything is so fucking expensive.
Walked around London, past the palace and all the tourist stuff. Got to the hostel , paid and put my shit away. Cool. Walked down town with the intention of approaching. Did a few shit approaches asking for directions. I COULD NOT STATE INTENT. All I had to do was honestly say that I though she was cute. Fucking bullocks, I cant put my personality on the line?… so lame. I would open and be like, “hey,” and in my head Id be like ‘i just had to say I thought you were super cute’, but in reaility id say, “ahhh, ummm, where is leiscter square??”
Got to leiscter square and saw a sign to a casino. Fuck it, decided to play some poker. No more approaching today. Fuck.
I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t disrupt peoples reality. I couldnt be loud and intrude on their airspace. I had one pretty good interaction even too from my lame ass asking of directions. She was ioi’ing me. But again I couldn’t transition properly, I couldn’t lead. Reavaliation, leading is very important. Not only is it so tied into your masculine identity and doing what you want, its also SO FUCKING important for taking the interaction in a direction that you want. Leading is also tied into enforcing your reality (frame control) Overall it was a shit day for pickup. I realized how SCARED I am. Fuck. Starting to think about the ozzie bootcamp… not gonna lie, when I read ozzies BC reviews about FEAR TECHNOLOGY i was noticably rationalizing not signing up.. Well shiiiiit. I couldn’t even lie to myself subconciuoslly and say I wanted it… My brain was telling me, "bro, listen bro. just chill bro. you can do all that on your own. you dont need to pay a guy to push you..." sigh...
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August 22th, 2011 – Degen
2am trying to sleep in the hostel. Fucking asshole is SNORING SO LOUD. Another faggot comes in and fucks a chick in another bed. 4am still awake (jetlagged still). I want play poker. I walk halfway to the empire, cab the rest. Bought in for 200. Played till about 10am. Went bust. I leave with all my shit. (fuck I hate walking around with it all.. backpack/bag/motorcycle helmet) and go looking for a hotel, but before that I convert the rest of my canadian money… pretty much all I have. Get 400 pounds with it. Go to the baccarat table and put it all on player. Tie. Again. Player. Win 400. Then put 200 on player. Player wins. Sick up 600 pounds and feeling like a million bucks.
Now ive been up all night gambling a drinking. I need to get a hotel. The one I looked at was way to small. Finally see a place, the HOTEL RUSSELL. 250 pounds a night. Hhahahaha 400 canadian a night. O well lets do it. Pretty nice room, not amazing but pretty good. Anyway, I tried to order a hooker and they denied my phone and blocked me. Don’t order a hooker through skype. Talk to a few people on skype, im getting tired now. Fuck it I want to play poker. I go back the poker room and sit down with 250 pounds. Lose it all very fast. Cab back to my room. Buy some chocolate milk, booze, fruit, and sandwiches. By this point im fucking bagged. Haven’t slept and have just sucked. I remember not being happy with the decisions I made that day, gambling tired, impulse super overspending on a hotel, trying to order a hooker…. Bad bad bad clayton. Also no exercise, no meditiation, no journaling . Cmon man… I was not in a good place. Must have passed out around 4 or 5pm maybe a liiitle later. Slept till 11am the next day (a good 17 hours fuuuck)
Pretty much simple. More evidence that when I feel like shit, I will have a high propensity to make shit decisions, and be reactive. I couldn't believe the gross overspending on a hotel (above) and even trying to order an escort (never done that before, maybe a good thing the skype phone didn't work) I was in such a bad place that the THOUGHT of approaching or excersising didnt even CROSS MY MIND. I'm learning about my triggers and how to control them... its unfortuante that I have such an addictive personality. Looking back I was obviously tired... I should have just GONE TO BED.
2am trying to sleep in the hostel. Fucking asshole is SNORING SO LOUD. Another faggot comes in and fucks a chick in another bed. 4am still awake (jetlagged still). I want play poker. I walk halfway to the empire, cab the rest. Bought in for 200. Played till about 10am. Went bust. I leave with all my shit. (fuck I hate walking around with it all.. backpack/bag/motorcycle helmet) and go looking for a hotel, but before that I convert the rest of my canadian money… pretty much all I have. Get 400 pounds with it. Go to the baccarat table and put it all on player. Tie. Again. Player. Win 400. Then put 200 on player. Player wins. Sick up 600 pounds and feeling like a million bucks.
Now ive been up all night gambling a drinking. I need to get a hotel. The one I looked at was way to small. Finally see a place, the HOTEL RUSSELL. 250 pounds a night. Hhahahaha 400 canadian a night. O well lets do it. Pretty nice room, not amazing but pretty good. Anyway, I tried to order a hooker and they denied my phone and blocked me. Don’t order a hooker through skype. Talk to a few people on skype, im getting tired now. Fuck it I want to play poker. I go back the poker room and sit down with 250 pounds. Lose it all very fast. Cab back to my room. Buy some chocolate milk, booze, fruit, and sandwiches. By this point im fucking bagged. Haven’t slept and have just sucked. I remember not being happy with the decisions I made that day, gambling tired, impulse super overspending on a hotel, trying to order a hooker…. Bad bad bad clayton. Also no exercise, no meditiation, no journaling . Cmon man… I was not in a good place. Must have passed out around 4 or 5pm maybe a liiitle later. Slept till 11am the next day (a good 17 hours fuuuck)
Pretty much simple. More evidence that when I feel like shit, I will have a high propensity to make shit decisions, and be reactive. I couldn't believe the gross overspending on a hotel (above) and even trying to order an escort (never done that before, maybe a good thing the skype phone didn't work) I was in such a bad place that the THOUGHT of approaching or excersising didnt even CROSS MY MIND. I'm learning about my triggers and how to control them... its unfortuante that I have such an addictive personality. Looking back I was obviously tired... I should have just GONE TO BED.
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August 23rd, 2011 - Going out alone
As the night approached I decide Im going to the Maple Leaf. Its a canadian pub so I figured atleast that could be my excuse to open. I get there and AVOIDANCE. Go to bar and order beer. Bartender is cute, start flirting a little bit. Go to the back of the bar and stand there holding my beer looking over the venue. Couple sets here, some there.
.
.
.
Nothing is happening. I can feel the 0 momentum. I know I need to kick myself. Standing by the bar like a jackass. Finally I turned the coginitive turbines enough and just started walking, then towards a two set. Then sat down, "O hey! are you guys canadian?" Ahhh ahhh ahh me no speak English... talked to them for a bit, spanish girls... went... ok. Outside for a smoke and a girl walked by a little lost, engaged her and chatted. After 2 minutes she looks at me silent, I STAY WITH IT (eye contact, just good feeling). She says she has to go, I loved that sexual tension. Back in the pub open a girl alone, super hot. Boyfriend comes in and sits beside her... i literally stop talking and RUN away.
Time to go to a club now. Found one downtown. Its still early but theres lots of people. Time to go do some approaches. I really upped my drinking now. Couldnt do approaches in the club. Left the club, went to a store and bought smokes, then went back to the clubs smoke pit and lit up (I dont even smoke wtf) I talked to some dudes, we vibed talked about random shit. Cool made some friends. Back inside and I chode around the dance floor. I would go to the busiest side of the bar so I knew it be a long wait to get a drink. hahahahha. fuck.
Back out to the smoke pit. Two hotties right beside me, as Im checking them out I look down at her heels, 'HOW DO YOU DANCE IN THOSE?" BR tonality, loud. The set blows upen. We talk etc, flirt for a bit. I like the one on the left. Her name is pheobe, cool. They leave, i smoke more. Go inside, foudn pheobe and danced a bit. Back outside i open another set with HOW DO YOU DANCE IN THOSE?? Went ok, pheobes back out to the smoke pit and sees me talking with a bunch of other people. Im getting interest from her so I pull her inside and dance. Well its 12am and im crashing HARD from all the booze. Im pretty chodey too so its time to go. ugh.
Out alone? Make friends with dudes. So easy. Reaally. Making friends or FALSE ALLIANCES is SOO EASY. Talk about something YOU want to talk about and people will quickly get in on the good vibe your emoting. Dont micromanage, try your hardest. Its soo impossible around hot girls though. I realize that worrying about what people think of you is completely in your head, anytime your worried, your in your head. I have so many labels i put on myself too like, "o they all think im a loser alone", "their going to see me hitting on her" even irrational ones.
Also, if you go out alone... you will illuminate whatever propensity you have to drink for avoidance. Wow do I ever use alcohol as a crutch. Not even so I can game better, just so i can not feel so god damn chodey.
As the night approached I decide Im going to the Maple Leaf. Its a canadian pub so I figured atleast that could be my excuse to open. I get there and AVOIDANCE. Go to bar and order beer. Bartender is cute, start flirting a little bit. Go to the back of the bar and stand there holding my beer looking over the venue. Couple sets here, some there.
.
.
.
Nothing is happening. I can feel the 0 momentum. I know I need to kick myself. Standing by the bar like a jackass. Finally I turned the coginitive turbines enough and just started walking, then towards a two set. Then sat down, "O hey! are you guys canadian?" Ahhh ahhh ahh me no speak English... talked to them for a bit, spanish girls... went... ok. Outside for a smoke and a girl walked by a little lost, engaged her and chatted. After 2 minutes she looks at me silent, I STAY WITH IT (eye contact, just good feeling). She says she has to go, I loved that sexual tension. Back in the pub open a girl alone, super hot. Boyfriend comes in and sits beside her... i literally stop talking and RUN away.
Time to go to a club now. Found one downtown. Its still early but theres lots of people. Time to go do some approaches. I really upped my drinking now. Couldnt do approaches in the club. Left the club, went to a store and bought smokes, then went back to the clubs smoke pit and lit up (I dont even smoke wtf) I talked to some dudes, we vibed talked about random shit. Cool made some friends. Back inside and I chode around the dance floor. I would go to the busiest side of the bar so I knew it be a long wait to get a drink. hahahahha. fuck.
Back out to the smoke pit. Two hotties right beside me, as Im checking them out I look down at her heels, 'HOW DO YOU DANCE IN THOSE?" BR tonality, loud. The set blows upen. We talk etc, flirt for a bit. I like the one on the left. Her name is pheobe, cool. They leave, i smoke more. Go inside, foudn pheobe and danced a bit. Back outside i open another set with HOW DO YOU DANCE IN THOSE?? Went ok, pheobes back out to the smoke pit and sees me talking with a bunch of other people. Im getting interest from her so I pull her inside and dance. Well its 12am and im crashing HARD from all the booze. Im pretty chodey too so its time to go. ugh.
Out alone? Make friends with dudes. So easy. Reaally. Making friends or FALSE ALLIANCES is SOO EASY. Talk about something YOU want to talk about and people will quickly get in on the good vibe your emoting. Dont micromanage, try your hardest. Its soo impossible around hot girls though. I realize that worrying about what people think of you is completely in your head, anytime your worried, your in your head. I have so many labels i put on myself too like, "o they all think im a loser alone", "their going to see me hitting on her" even irrational ones.
Also, if you go out alone... you will illuminate whatever propensity you have to drink for avoidance. Wow do I ever use alcohol as a crutch. Not even so I can game better, just so i can not feel so god damn chodey.
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August 24th, 2011 - Solo
Tonight was a failure but at least I went out. Sober and alone. I'm at a point where I wont let myself sit on the computer all night alone. Ministry of Sound tonight, a massive dance club in london. I did manage to do ONE direct good approach to a blonde hottie by her friend. I opened with 'hey i think your friend is super cute. Im going to have to steal her from you" The blonde liked it but her friend wasn't having any of it. I got negative feedback and ejected myself from the set.
I did a few other indirect approaches to less then super attractive girls, I also managed to talk to the guy who sells hotdogs for thirty minutes... great.
I ended up choding alone. I bought a beer then choded harder. Then after walking around the dance floor acknowledging possible sets I left the club.
Going out sober and alone is SOO tough. I have so many limiting beliefs about it. I know its possible and it is just going to take some time to build the reference experiences and become comfortable with it.
Tonight was a failure but at least I went out. Sober and alone. I'm at a point where I wont let myself sit on the computer all night alone. Ministry of Sound tonight, a massive dance club in london. I did manage to do ONE direct good approach to a blonde hottie by her friend. I opened with 'hey i think your friend is super cute. Im going to have to steal her from you" The blonde liked it but her friend wasn't having any of it. I got negative feedback and ejected myself from the set.
I did a few other indirect approaches to less then super attractive girls, I also managed to talk to the guy who sells hotdogs for thirty minutes... great.
I ended up choding alone. I bought a beer then choded harder. Then after walking around the dance floor acknowledging possible sets I left the club.
Going out sober and alone is SOO tough. I have so many limiting beliefs about it. I know its possible and it is just going to take some time to build the reference experiences and become comfortable with it.
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Ozzie Bootcamp Review (August 26 – 28th)
Ammunition in the cannon of humiliation. I’ve never been so embarrassed, humiliated or out of my comfort zone in my life. That sums up my bootcamp experience with ozzie.
Since I’ve taken ozzies bootcamp ive had 2 lays, ~20 makeouts, and done maybe 200 – 300 approaches.
My writing doesn’t exactly have a lot of flair so I point formed my experience at the bottom.
August 26th 2011 - Day 1
Time to meet ozzie. My first interaction with rsd. Were to meet in the lobby at seven. Ozzie is there. Hes way smaller than I thought. There are two other students. We all share our introductions and ozzie jumps into his gig. Fear Technology is explained to us – essentially it is repeated exposure to situations that cause us a lot of fear. Through exposure we will eventually be more comfortable in those situations. After ozzies explanations we hit the street.
I remember having a lot of apprehension signing up with ozzie. The bootcamp reviews would describe how ozzie would make you hump a street pole and yell about a boring topic. Well that’s what I did. I humped a pole talking about taxes to hundreds of people, on the busiest street in London. Ozzie calls these ‘social pressure’ exercises. We would do these every day, before we ever did a single approach. Ozzie has us do four of these exercises, each progressively harder and harder. I was UNCOMFORTABLE before them, but after and during I felt OK. It was the anticipation that sucked.
Next was approaches on leister square. Probably did 6 or 7 and most went OK. Found a HUGE distinction with VOLUME… talking so just she can hear me VS. loud enough for everyone to hear (coming across as suspicious if too quiet) Be louder, be more aggressive (not enough balls) the approaches where I INVESTED into what I was saying (as in gave it all I got) paid off. But if I didn’t I would get a fuck off, a push w/e. it was all good though in the end. Even stopped a 6 set in their tracks. Stopped two drunk girls, flirted, and got ones number… her friend was literally throwing her on me.
We eat then hit the club. Its huge and there are fucking SMOKING girls here. Ozzie starts by getting us to change our physiology from loser to champ and recognize our negative thinking patterns. After that ozzie takes us to the dance floor. This is the most intense part of the bootcamp and also where you will be pushed the hardest. Ozzie would make me approach people making out… that was his FAVOURITE. Or people totally engaged grinding up on each other.
I approached a lot of sets. For the first half of the night we had to use a shit opener too… ‘Is this the best club in london’. We would go for 25 minutes doing tough sets on the dance floor, then we would move to a quiter easier area and approach there. Ozzies fear technology works. When you’ve been approaching ‘impossible’ sets for 25 minutes then you go for the easy ones its such a relief and there is no challenge or approach anxiety.
By the end of the night… I was BEAT. TOTALLY CRUSHED and WIPED. Basically most of what I learnt was along the lines of having MORE balls. I am going to have to learn to deal with all the negative noise that my brain gives me. These negative thinking patterns are not helping my game. Also I saw glimpses of what it means to PUT YOUR PERSONALITY on the line and how people respond to that.
August 27th 2011 - Day 2
The second day played a lot like the first. The twist is we are going to start pushing physical game. Ozzie breaks down our physical stack that we will try to execute tonight. This includes moves like hi five, hug, up to makeout.
We start the second day with social pressure exercises again. All four of them were a little easier. Even humping the pole was easier. These drills are great to put you in that zone where you don’t give a fuck what people think.
The exercises went well and then it was on to street approaches. I was getting pissed using the leister square real square opener. The fact that I knew it sucked made me not GO with it 100%. You have to fucking feel good and vibe it through your eye contact. If your stifled or quiet because you don’t want to turn other peoples heads you WILL NOT get a good response, people will turn you down or just ignore. To work the shitty opener you have to own it and then change the subject as quick as you can. I did worse than the first day.
We finished and ate then moved on to the club, took about 20 minutes to get there. Well when ozzie said this club was tough he was not joking. Situational factors like ratio of dancefloor to the rest of the club and noise level… soo many hotties and a LOT of dudes. Ozzie knows that we have to get physical to succeed in this club.
Throughout the night ozzie is constanly asking us our comfort levels. I almost never felt comfortable in this club. The dance floor was ridiculous. I would go into sets and be so tied up in my head and so afraid that the only words out of my mouth would be ‘hi’. I would then clam up and just sit there awkwardly until they turned their shoulders on me and ignored me.
Ozzie told me to pick up this fat girl… I couldn’t do it. One of the only times I outright failed to follow ozzies instructions. I couldn’t tell if ozzie was amusing himself or was messing with me, but after I dithered around and ended up not even trying he went in and tried to pick her up (she was so fat ozzie could barely lift her lol)
I was just getting crushed all night. I would open and just be AWKWARD. Not smooth on ANY level. I was so in my head that I would open and just have NOTHING TO SAY. I would just do that over and over and over. End of the night I felt like such shit.
I did though finally find a girl at the end of the night. There was a chode beside her and he ended up withering away. I went in with the claw. We move down to the dance floor and a start grinding harder. She grabs my ass. It should have been a sign that if the GIRL is physically escalating ME I need to man up and push harder. After she had grabbed my ass I go in for makeout immediately. Get the makeout and then ditch the girl, we leave the club.
I did learn a lot the second night. I realized how uncomfortable I am with getting physical. I am just NOT used to it. It feels awkward. Being forced to do all this stuff to makes it come off even worse… I know though that it is all part of calibration and internalizing new beliefs. If I keep pushing soon I will become more comfortable with it and when that happens I will start seeing success.
August 28th 2011 - Day 3
Woke up and pretty much just had time to make it to the hotel lobby to meet with ozzie. We do the seminar portion then head out. We do our social pressure drills, humping a pole giving a speech. Its almost amusing now. I remember before when I read the ozzie reviews I thought to myself… WOW theres NO way I can do that, I even SERIOUSLY considered not signing up. Even in my HEAD I had SO MUCH resistance to it. I feel less fear and apprehnision about humping a pole yelling in the streets. Haha. Well If I ever had to do it again, or anything similar it would not be that hard.
The last day ozzie was making us do more challenging street sets. He was getting us to open sets up a 20 foot ledge and hold them for two minutes. I noticed that I was getting better, at least internally. I didn’t have nearly as much resistance as I was approaching than I did three days ago. I did a couple sets that went well over two minutes. Part of me was so exhausted from the weekend though I just wanted it to end. After a while we called it a day and headed to a café for the wrap up. Ozzie gave me some pretty on point feedback about getting physical and learning the game.
During the wrap up ozzie had us write out our goals. For me it was to get laid and go out five nights a week.
After that I went and passed out in my hostel.
I ended up going out with the other two BC guys that night. We hit a pub for some beers and just vibed. Got a little drunk then we hit mcdicks then the club. We were getting into state… something I had not experienced over the weekend with ozzie haha.
When we got to the club me and the other RSD guy were OWNING it! It was a cool experience, getting attraction from girls. No blowouts, mostly because we didn’t approach tough sets, but we were just there having such a good time and such good vibes girls could tell and BLEW OPEN. Even two girls in the hall I stop by grabbing her arm and being like ‘hey, who are you’ and wouldnt let her go just breaking rapport tonality etc. I could see the attraction and they just immediately start qualifying themselves to me… I was pretty drunk but it was a good night at the club.
Notes
- Pushing your comfort zone is how you grow, theres no doubt about that in my mind now
- The more you ignore your fear the more you turn to avoidance tactics (drinking, choding at bar etc)
- Exposing yourself to fearful situations REPEATEDLY will leave you over prepared for the relatively easy situations.
- You must go out. The process requires some dedication and is a proactive process. You plan to go out and you plan your nights. Start on the street, get in the club, zig zag between hard and easy sets.
- Getting physical is HUGE. It is what allows you to do the ‘impossible’. It can disarm guys, cut through bitch shields, and build tons of attraction
- Recognize your negative thoughts that are holding you back. Most are repetitive and redundant. This is tough because its so easy for them to go unnoticed…
- Probably my most important point. As great as the bootcamp was, its ALL ABOUT THE FOLLOW UP. I’ve seen tremendous growth and its been because I am going out.
- Bootcamp with ozzie was a fantastic experience and worth every penny. Thank you ozzie.
Ammunition in the cannon of humiliation. I’ve never been so embarrassed, humiliated or out of my comfort zone in my life. That sums up my bootcamp experience with ozzie.
Since I’ve taken ozzies bootcamp ive had 2 lays, ~20 makeouts, and done maybe 200 – 300 approaches.
My writing doesn’t exactly have a lot of flair so I point formed my experience at the bottom.
August 26th 2011 - Day 1
Time to meet ozzie. My first interaction with rsd. Were to meet in the lobby at seven. Ozzie is there. Hes way smaller than I thought. There are two other students. We all share our introductions and ozzie jumps into his gig. Fear Technology is explained to us – essentially it is repeated exposure to situations that cause us a lot of fear. Through exposure we will eventually be more comfortable in those situations. After ozzies explanations we hit the street.
I remember having a lot of apprehension signing up with ozzie. The bootcamp reviews would describe how ozzie would make you hump a street pole and yell about a boring topic. Well that’s what I did. I humped a pole talking about taxes to hundreds of people, on the busiest street in London. Ozzie calls these ‘social pressure’ exercises. We would do these every day, before we ever did a single approach. Ozzie has us do four of these exercises, each progressively harder and harder. I was UNCOMFORTABLE before them, but after and during I felt OK. It was the anticipation that sucked.
Next was approaches on leister square. Probably did 6 or 7 and most went OK. Found a HUGE distinction with VOLUME… talking so just she can hear me VS. loud enough for everyone to hear (coming across as suspicious if too quiet) Be louder, be more aggressive (not enough balls) the approaches where I INVESTED into what I was saying (as in gave it all I got) paid off. But if I didn’t I would get a fuck off, a push w/e. it was all good though in the end. Even stopped a 6 set in their tracks. Stopped two drunk girls, flirted, and got ones number… her friend was literally throwing her on me.
We eat then hit the club. Its huge and there are fucking SMOKING girls here. Ozzie starts by getting us to change our physiology from loser to champ and recognize our negative thinking patterns. After that ozzie takes us to the dance floor. This is the most intense part of the bootcamp and also where you will be pushed the hardest. Ozzie would make me approach people making out… that was his FAVOURITE. Or people totally engaged grinding up on each other.
I approached a lot of sets. For the first half of the night we had to use a shit opener too… ‘Is this the best club in london’. We would go for 25 minutes doing tough sets on the dance floor, then we would move to a quiter easier area and approach there. Ozzies fear technology works. When you’ve been approaching ‘impossible’ sets for 25 minutes then you go for the easy ones its such a relief and there is no challenge or approach anxiety.
By the end of the night… I was BEAT. TOTALLY CRUSHED and WIPED. Basically most of what I learnt was along the lines of having MORE balls. I am going to have to learn to deal with all the negative noise that my brain gives me. These negative thinking patterns are not helping my game. Also I saw glimpses of what it means to PUT YOUR PERSONALITY on the line and how people respond to that.
August 27th 2011 - Day 2
The second day played a lot like the first. The twist is we are going to start pushing physical game. Ozzie breaks down our physical stack that we will try to execute tonight. This includes moves like hi five, hug, up to makeout.
We start the second day with social pressure exercises again. All four of them were a little easier. Even humping the pole was easier. These drills are great to put you in that zone where you don’t give a fuck what people think.
The exercises went well and then it was on to street approaches. I was getting pissed using the leister square real square opener. The fact that I knew it sucked made me not GO with it 100%. You have to fucking feel good and vibe it through your eye contact. If your stifled or quiet because you don’t want to turn other peoples heads you WILL NOT get a good response, people will turn you down or just ignore. To work the shitty opener you have to own it and then change the subject as quick as you can. I did worse than the first day.
We finished and ate then moved on to the club, took about 20 minutes to get there. Well when ozzie said this club was tough he was not joking. Situational factors like ratio of dancefloor to the rest of the club and noise level… soo many hotties and a LOT of dudes. Ozzie knows that we have to get physical to succeed in this club.
Throughout the night ozzie is constanly asking us our comfort levels. I almost never felt comfortable in this club. The dance floor was ridiculous. I would go into sets and be so tied up in my head and so afraid that the only words out of my mouth would be ‘hi’. I would then clam up and just sit there awkwardly until they turned their shoulders on me and ignored me.
Ozzie told me to pick up this fat girl… I couldn’t do it. One of the only times I outright failed to follow ozzies instructions. I couldn’t tell if ozzie was amusing himself or was messing with me, but after I dithered around and ended up not even trying he went in and tried to pick her up (she was so fat ozzie could barely lift her lol)
I was just getting crushed all night. I would open and just be AWKWARD. Not smooth on ANY level. I was so in my head that I would open and just have NOTHING TO SAY. I would just do that over and over and over. End of the night I felt like such shit.
I did though finally find a girl at the end of the night. There was a chode beside her and he ended up withering away. I went in with the claw. We move down to the dance floor and a start grinding harder. She grabs my ass. It should have been a sign that if the GIRL is physically escalating ME I need to man up and push harder. After she had grabbed my ass I go in for makeout immediately. Get the makeout and then ditch the girl, we leave the club.
I did learn a lot the second night. I realized how uncomfortable I am with getting physical. I am just NOT used to it. It feels awkward. Being forced to do all this stuff to makes it come off even worse… I know though that it is all part of calibration and internalizing new beliefs. If I keep pushing soon I will become more comfortable with it and when that happens I will start seeing success.
August 28th 2011 - Day 3
Woke up and pretty much just had time to make it to the hotel lobby to meet with ozzie. We do the seminar portion then head out. We do our social pressure drills, humping a pole giving a speech. Its almost amusing now. I remember before when I read the ozzie reviews I thought to myself… WOW theres NO way I can do that, I even SERIOUSLY considered not signing up. Even in my HEAD I had SO MUCH resistance to it. I feel less fear and apprehnision about humping a pole yelling in the streets. Haha. Well If I ever had to do it again, or anything similar it would not be that hard.
The last day ozzie was making us do more challenging street sets. He was getting us to open sets up a 20 foot ledge and hold them for two minutes. I noticed that I was getting better, at least internally. I didn’t have nearly as much resistance as I was approaching than I did three days ago. I did a couple sets that went well over two minutes. Part of me was so exhausted from the weekend though I just wanted it to end. After a while we called it a day and headed to a café for the wrap up. Ozzie gave me some pretty on point feedback about getting physical and learning the game.
During the wrap up ozzie had us write out our goals. For me it was to get laid and go out five nights a week.
After that I went and passed out in my hostel.
I ended up going out with the other two BC guys that night. We hit a pub for some beers and just vibed. Got a little drunk then we hit mcdicks then the club. We were getting into state… something I had not experienced over the weekend with ozzie haha.
When we got to the club me and the other RSD guy were OWNING it! It was a cool experience, getting attraction from girls. No blowouts, mostly because we didn’t approach tough sets, but we were just there having such a good time and such good vibes girls could tell and BLEW OPEN. Even two girls in the hall I stop by grabbing her arm and being like ‘hey, who are you’ and wouldnt let her go just breaking rapport tonality etc. I could see the attraction and they just immediately start qualifying themselves to me… I was pretty drunk but it was a good night at the club.
Notes
- Pushing your comfort zone is how you grow, theres no doubt about that in my mind now
- The more you ignore your fear the more you turn to avoidance tactics (drinking, choding at bar etc)
- Exposing yourself to fearful situations REPEATEDLY will leave you over prepared for the relatively easy situations.
- You must go out. The process requires some dedication and is a proactive process. You plan to go out and you plan your nights. Start on the street, get in the club, zig zag between hard and easy sets.
- Getting physical is HUGE. It is what allows you to do the ‘impossible’. It can disarm guys, cut through bitch shields, and build tons of attraction
- Recognize your negative thoughts that are holding you back. Most are repetitive and redundant. This is tough because its so easy for them to go unnoticed…
- Probably my most important point. As great as the bootcamp was, its ALL ABOUT THE FOLLOW UP. I’ve seen tremendous growth and its been because I am going out.
- Bootcamp with ozzie was a fantastic experience and worth every penny. Thank you ozzie.
__________________
August 30th 2011 - Lay Report (Hostel)
After a day travelling I arrived in Italy. I had searched before hand and found the 'party' hostel in Milan. A bar, open common area, and lots of people. Had to go to class for the afternoon and then opened up my laptop in the common area. Sitting on the couches I get to know some of the other people there. Around seven oclock it starts getting pretty busy around the bar. I mob up some people together for drinking games. Approach 3 german girls eating in the kitchen area, "hey were playing drinking games, come join us" approach another group of two girls at the back of the hostel "hey were playing drinking games, come join us". yay now we have girls drinking with us.
I did end up getting pretty drunk. It was back and forth inside and out to smoke and then drink then get pizza. I was pretty outside my head the whole night, being loud and just having fun. We were all sitting outside smoking and the hottest of the german girls leg is up against mine. Incidental touching is about as physical as i could get. wehn id talk to her it would be a hand on the shoulder. I knew it was on when she looks back and there is just this super obvious flirtatious eye contact. Towards the end of the night i didnt think it was going anywhere so i open my laptop and just do my facebook email loop. She walks by and asks if i was going to bed, i was like 'o yeah in 10 minutes maybe'.
As i leave to go up to the bedrooms shes sitting on the couch in the back by the stairs messing around on her phone (waiting for me). I go and sit down beside her. This is my first interaction with this girl totally isolated. Shes clawed in my arms on the couch here. I know theres no perfect time to go for the kiss so i semi awkwardly manouver it, pulling her head up to mine. Long story short we went upstairs and found an empty room of bunks in the hostel and banged in the beds. Got done, cuddled, sobered up, went for a second go and then we said goodbye at like 6am. Sad thing about hostels is with travellers you only really get the one night stand, and then the person is gone. Your hooking up for a good time, never for anything over a long term.
I really saw how a girl can forgive you for mistakes. Your game doesnt have to be perfect. Also i am not leading the interations enough. I need to start taking converstations in a direction I want and manipulating the social terrain to my favour (going for isolations, parading the girl around) I also notice how a girl that is into you will MAKE opportunities for you. she wont take the initiative but she can make it easy for you...
After a day travelling I arrived in Italy. I had searched before hand and found the 'party' hostel in Milan. A bar, open common area, and lots of people. Had to go to class for the afternoon and then opened up my laptop in the common area. Sitting on the couches I get to know some of the other people there. Around seven oclock it starts getting pretty busy around the bar. I mob up some people together for drinking games. Approach 3 german girls eating in the kitchen area, "hey were playing drinking games, come join us" approach another group of two girls at the back of the hostel "hey were playing drinking games, come join us". yay now we have girls drinking with us.
I did end up getting pretty drunk. It was back and forth inside and out to smoke and then drink then get pizza. I was pretty outside my head the whole night, being loud and just having fun. We were all sitting outside smoking and the hottest of the german girls leg is up against mine. Incidental touching is about as physical as i could get. wehn id talk to her it would be a hand on the shoulder. I knew it was on when she looks back and there is just this super obvious flirtatious eye contact. Towards the end of the night i didnt think it was going anywhere so i open my laptop and just do my facebook email loop. She walks by and asks if i was going to bed, i was like 'o yeah in 10 minutes maybe'.
As i leave to go up to the bedrooms shes sitting on the couch in the back by the stairs messing around on her phone (waiting for me). I go and sit down beside her. This is my first interaction with this girl totally isolated. Shes clawed in my arms on the couch here. I know theres no perfect time to go for the kiss so i semi awkwardly manouver it, pulling her head up to mine. Long story short we went upstairs and found an empty room of bunks in the hostel and banged in the beds. Got done, cuddled, sobered up, went for a second go and then we said goodbye at like 6am. Sad thing about hostels is with travellers you only really get the one night stand, and then the person is gone. Your hooking up for a good time, never for anything over a long term.
I really saw how a girl can forgive you for mistakes. Your game doesnt have to be perfect. Also i am not leading the interations enough. I need to start taking converstations in a direction I want and manipulating the social terrain to my favour (going for isolations, parading the girl around) I also notice how a girl that is into you will MAKE opportunities for you. she wont take the initiative but she can make it easy for you...
__________________
Wow! Great review man, very helpful. Keep us posted with you journey.
Really awesome journal!
BC with Ozzie sounds very good. Just pushing your comfort zone.
ChinaBoy
BC with Ozzie sounds very good. Just pushing your comfort zone.
ChinaBoy
__________________
ilb
Senior Member
Join Date: 08/08/2011 | Posts: 208
I just want to fill in the part of this journal that’s missing. I finished my Ozzie bootcamp at the end of august. I then didn’t update my journal for three months after until I started getting laid regularly (starting at page 2)
Just for reference and anyone following my journey, during that period I was living in Krakow going out 5 nights a week, getting CRUSHED. 30 blowouts a night. I was getting obliteratingly drunk too, im sure that didn’t help. Theres about 50 missing field reports (chode reports) that made me who I am now. They were such a key part of my progress.
Anway, I hope you get some value out of my journal and if you have time go ahead and read some of my posts on the main form.
Cheers,
ilb
This is how boss my life is
Getting stuck at sea – My experiences after winning $60’000
16 habits you should do EVERY DAY [very long]
16 habits quick analysis
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UPDATE JUNE 14, 2013
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I always seem to come up with grandiose plans for my future. Sometimes I feel this long vision is whimsical as it constantly changes, although if I perceive these changes as course corrections and I continue to give everything I have towards my goals then I think I'm doing the best I can.
Currently said plans include transitioning to a fully congruent life. That means spending my time as I choose to, living where I choose to, and associating with who I choose to. I had a scary realization a few months ago when I was working and living with people that were not by choice but instead dictated by circumstance.
So the time has come to earn my own money. I want to be free – ultimate personal liquidity. I don’t want to be bound in one place – I don’t want to be held back by my possessions or other people. After a few months of prep I quit my job on May 1st. Significant, yes, although not quite the start of unbridled freedom. I still feel a massive weight of responsibility to grow my self-employed income enough to fully cover expenses (and stop the savings dip) As such I’m cautiously enjoying a free life, though I still dedicate several hours a day to developing the skills that will help me succeed in earning remote income (photography, writing, IM skillsets, digital product creation and more)
I don’t aspire for horsepower, square footage or a monogramous bride… I want ultimate liquidity and freedom, I want to experience everything this earth has to offer – and I bring as many people along for the ride as I can.
I took a good solid look at my social terrain – family, friends, acquaintances, people I’ve met travelling or through the internet. ‘Happiness is only real when shared’ – all incredible moments and periods of my life were shared with people I love. That group of people continues to grow.
A wealthy & successful man 20 years ago had his family, wife, thriving business, vaulted ceilings, sports car & was respected in his community.
Weath & Success redefined. Family is no longer blood relatives – family is that circle of badass mother fuckers you rip up the world with. I don’t want to a house, business, or wife locking me down in one place – I don’t want my ‘vacations’ to be hauling the kids to expensive hotels in first world countries. The new vacation is renting a villa in South America and having 7 or 8 of your ‘family’ flying down to LIVE IT UP with you for a month.
So that’s pretty much where I’m at. A lot of growing my family and LIVING IT UP on the horizon – all while maintaining my health and developing the skills that will be needed to give value to the largest audience I possibly can.
Good things to come,
ilb