This whole week I have been trying to stay chill about HB10 Ukrainian. All worried about what to text, worried about texting the "right" thing, worried about when our next hang out will happen aka everything that could potentially kill what we have. Very outcome dependent. I am seeing other girls, but I want this girl. My inner chode is coming out. More me second guessing myself because this is my super attractive girl and I feel like things have to be "different" or things have to be "right" which I know can ruin things. I went through my old phone...30 numbers and mostly from day game from girls outside my Uni. All those flaky numbers all those numbers gone to shit to learn what not to text lol. Anyways, Funny thing is, she sees me as the prize when we hang out. I can see and feel it in her vibe, but I am like...holy shit....this girl is on my bed....my god...I cant believe it... But feels like her not getting back to my texts all that soon enough feels like I'm "losing" her. I know this neediness can fuckin kiiiilll what I have so I know to remain calm and only text when I am feeling calm and not needy. Just got to know that I have all that I need within myself. Always making sure that what I text is coming from a place of value. A place of giving value. At the same time, I have to be aware of when I am being witty too much or am being too weird over texting or if I need to be "normal" so she can relate to me. All these beliefs that will be blown away down the road as I experience hotter and hotter girls.
I went out last night to some local college bars. Went out with some girls I knew from the dorms a few years ago. This area was PACKED with graduation happening. I have not been out in 3 weeks (finals and midterms, visiting parents, etc) ...wow. I went in knowing that I would have to calibrate and remind myself of my approaches. Most of all I tried to relax. One Asian girl was pretty cute, I talked to her for my a bit while holding her hands, that went no where once she left. Hit up a 5-6 girls in that bar then went out to meet my friends at the next bar, didn't find them. At this point I was very in my head. I found them outside the bar and chit chatted. Then went and hit up a 2 set standing waiting for a taxi. My state was terrible, but I approached pretty congruently and started talking. IT was fucking hilarious how much in my head I was and how bad my social skills were. At some points my ears literally shut off and I had to ask the girl to repeat herself. I was trying to keep eye contact LOL. So its funny because in the day I am so unstifled and fine and can talk up a girl after not having done a day set for a couple weeks, which is the situation I met HB10 Ukranian in. In last night's environment it would've helped to be more chill and aggressive and assertive in my voice. Had a lot of blowouts, but its all part of the fun : )
I did a few DAY sets Friday, but nothing turned to anything. ALl good. I seem to always be fucking satisfied that I even approached these days. No more feeling bad about it! haha.
I hadn't been out on a Saturday in over 3 weeks..but nothing felt much different. I was able to approach just fine and just had to calibrate accordingly.
I went out Saturday around 11. I started out my night with a couple street sets and did fine. My first girl was fucking fine...HB9 small petite cute just like I my girls. Turned out she was a club promoter and did her little rap to get me to come to that club and see her later. Next time I'll find a way to break them out of that "work" mentality.
Once I got into my first bar I walked around, opened set. Nothing really caught on from what I can remember. I then met up with Matt281 at another bar and finally saw Adjunkie and Gameandwatch ( only saw you for like 20 seconds man! Then you were gone! hahah) after ALL these weeks of spending my Friday and Saturday nights studying for a math proofs class I didn't end up passing...Fortunately I am finding ways to bounce back and grow from it. I'll be retaking it starting in a week. Anyways, I had been approaching, then Adjunkie saw me not doin anythin and shoves me into a 4 set. ITs funny. I haven't seen him in over a month, but something about his confidence has changed significantly. His vibe is just different now. He just seems a lot more centered even when he's just standing there doing nothing for a moment.
I was hitting up girls here and there. Things were alright. I was more focused on slowing things down and just keeping that positive feeling behind my words regardless of what the girls said. I finally found the girl I wanted. 28 year old. Fucking hhot....She was with friends. I started talking to her, and then turned to her other friend chit chatted and had her laughing. Turned out it was her bday so she apparently wanted me to leave, but never said anything. The fat friend kept giving me that dirty look that they all seem to give off... Anyways, HB8.5 kept giving me more IOI's started standing closer to me and more her body towards me as I kept talking to her friend. She wanted me to talk to her. She was nervous. When I began to escalate and try to dance she says "I have a bf." Sounded like resistance (I have not figured out what was right and what was wrong) This is 20 minutes into the set. I pushed myself out my comfort zone by simply staying in set longer. Birthday girl then tells her friends that she wants another drink and leaves. I later see them on the other side of the dance floor on the bar. I don't approach this time because this time it just felt weird. Next time I;ll push that comfort zone more. At the end of the night I see HB8.5 walking out on the street. I tried to stop her, but she wouldn't stop. Next time I will let her walk through the crowd, catch up and just say "just 30 seconds..just 30 seconds...blah blah blah" and start talking my ass off.
I am realizing how much further I can grow if I just fucking push my comfort zone multiple times everytime I go out. This is crucial.
I tend to have negative thought loops through out my night, so I made sure to shift them so that I was thinking about how fucking awesome I was through out the night. Feeds your state like a mother fucker. I stayed out ttill the very end of the night and headed home on the last bus at 2:15. Got home at 3. Met a few girls on the bus, and that concluded by night.
This was a great night out considering I had not been out in a while. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I want to actually start pulling from night game. I want to pull. I will pull. Someday. I refused to go home to my fb last night and I didn't. But in a few hours I will be over there fucking her brains out. I can't wait. Sometimes after she leaves I start jacking off because I'm so charged
I never go out on Monday's, but ended up going out with a civilian friend that knows about cold approach pick up, takes the tips and just applies it. He approaches without hesitation unless its a beautiful black girl. I hit it up a couple times and so did he. Nothing too special. Met a couple girls from the pharmacy school that he opened next to a hot dog stand. We talked for about 10 minutes before they met up with their friend and headed different directions. We planned on only staying out a little bit since he has work at 6 am. I honestly don't have an excuse ... lol.. I SHOULD still be out there hitting it up solo right now. Its not even that I am not "feeling" it. I know that if I just hit it up a couple more times I would totally be in the mood. The energy would just pour out even if I am not "feeling" it. I love that cold approach pick up has taught me that I can be in the worst mood and could have had the worst day, go out as I am feeling, approach a couple or a few sets, talk to guys OR girls and just change my day and go to bed feeling damn good.
Anyways, reading my book. The Big Dip that Cat suggested I read. Plus watching Life from BBC...right now its about the badass Fried Egg Jelly fish...apparently they don't have brains...U jelly? They have actually have an excuse not to think unlike us.