October 21st, 2016
College Game Journal
Posted September 3rd, 2011 at 8:30 PM
Last week was welcome week at my university. Monday night was also my birthday.
So I called up a good friend of mine, D. He picked me up and we went to go pick up his co-worker Landon from his shift. Turns out he was with a girl, and she immediately recognized me.
We had met at the beginning of last year and had texted a few times and tried to meet up but it hadn't worked out. We'll call her E.
So we went to Landon's apartment to take some birthday bong-rips. We got there and I didn't know what the relationship was between Landon and E, so when she sat on the couch i sat in a chair next to her but left the couch open. Landon didn't sit on the couch. We talked, chilled, and it was good vibes. Some Bruce Lee movie was on in the background and we decided to take some shots. Also, E recommended that we go to her house to.. lol i don't remember what the reason was. But she was giving ioi's and we were having a goodtime and her roommates were all girls so made plans to go over there before hitting the bars.
Got there and we went through some introductions. I introduced myself to L who was sitting on the couch. (coulda/shoulda sat next to her but i didn't for some reason). When i went to introduce myself to her friend S that I had met before (the first time I met E) I told her that I had met her before and she gave me that look like "i don't remember u so why do u remember me" type bullshit, so i made sure to say that E had pointed it out to me, and reminded her where we had met. I don't think this was necessarily bad, although maybe it was like me giving her an IOI/validation too early which was unnecessary? Anyway the chairs in this room are spaced pretty far apart. I sit in a recliner in the opposite corner of E, but we can see each other well. She goes to get me "the last beer" since its my birthday, and then offers to make corndogs. I don't say anything, and she goes to the kitchen. I then announce to the rest of the group that i want a corndog and am going to tell her; i ask landon if he wants one too. he says yes. Sometime during this their other friend A comes home and is super cute.
So i go into the kitchen which is connected to A's room. E is talking to A in her doorway and I come up behind them smiling. E turns around and I tell her that we need two more corndogs. I also introduce myself to A who is giving me those nice big eyes that I like :). The 3 of us have some conversation about their place and I make them laugh a little bit. A left the room and I talked with E for awhile. don't remember about what I just tried to focus on maintaining good eye-contact (which is something i need to work on) and making her feel comfortable.
Went back to the main room and shot the shit for awhile, I got E's # before we left. We went to Kilroys, a popular bar where I live. My friend Max told me he was going there but I called him and he said he felt kinda sick cuz. he told me his other friends (we had all went to highschool together) were still there though; I see them as soon as I walk in. They are facing the bar and don't see me, so I go for a double hug kind of thing between the guy (Greg) and a girl (E2) that has wanted to fuck me in the past/gives me IOIs whenever I see her. The problem here was that once I did the hug thing, both of them acknowledged me at the same time and when I should have made eye contact with Greg, I was looking between them and not giving either of them eye contact.. lol. And then I leaned back and gave E2 another hug but still didn't give her very much eye contact (proly half a second). I feel like Greg felt like I brushed him off b/c im just interested in E2, and E2 felt like I am not genuine, because I came up high energy, and hugged her twice without even really looking at her. I acknowledged their other friend (B) but she didn't reciprocate even though she is usually nice to me. I think there was some drama going on in their group (there usually is) and she began to comfort E2. This may also have to do with the fact that she noticed Greg's reaction when I didn't really acknowledge him. Wasn't the best on my part. I think the lesson here is: when in doubt, make sure to make eye contact/ too much eye contact is better than not enough of it.
Anyway I am friends with the bartender so he gives us like 6 shots for $4. At this point I do not remember as many details cuz im kinda crunk. An old friend of D's and mine (Kylie) comes up and is all over D telling him that she misses him and kind of ignoring me. D points out to her that I am standing right there and its my birthday and she gives me a hug but its almost like she doesn't want to lol stupid bitches. I used to make this girl laugh super hard and now she's being bitchy for god-knows why. anyway i should have given her one of those "disapproving looks" but i just ignored it and started talking to her friends. Once again I have no idea what was said here but apparently these girls were scheming to get some other guy so i left the set. Went outside and D bought a beer which we started sipping on. He started talking to some girl i noticed earlier but I was feeling like a puss since i had basically been kicked out of that last set or whatever so I didn't join in the convo, which had turned into a 4 set of D, Landon, and the two girls. SHOULD HAVE entered this set and i could have at least tried to elicit some emotions from the girls and maybe gotten a #, which neither of them did.
I notice another girl (S2) that i have met before. she gives me ioi's when i come in and interrupt her conversation w a couple of dudes. Her body then becomes oriented toward me instead of them and one of them offers to buy her a drink. I just keep talking with her, working on my intent/eye contact/ expression/tonality and the guy mentions the drink again. I am having fun self-amusing and i think she is too, cuz she stays with me rather than going w dude who hasn't said anything besides talking about buying her drinks. The other 2 leave and i get her #.
I'm chilling outside and I spark up conversation w a cute blonde girl who is on her way out. I talk about her style and find out she is with her mom who is asian?? talk about her n her mom and as she is about to leave she says something about adding me on Facebook. i give her my phone n tell her to put her # in and she does.
I'm outside and a cute girl is leaving and I go in with STRONG EYE CONTACT, and a genuine smile cuz she is genuinely turnin me on :) and say something like "hey… i love your top… you look like a sexy dr. suess character." My eye contact/expression/tonality and even pausing was on point here. I sounded very flirtatious from the beginning starting with "hey" and she gave me that look like "look at you ;) mr. smooth-talker". I continue talking with her for about 15 feet down the street until I feel the conversation "die" (thats some SHITT!!!) and her friend look at us strangely like "who's this guy??". I somehow also rationalize leaving her sexy-ass because my friends are back at the entrance. <<----DUMB. They had also apparently been watching this since they started clapping.
I GOTA STICK W THAT SHIT N LET IT BURN TO THE GROUND
we walk back to the car and i see a girl in the distance that i know. i hide my face till we cross paths then grab her and she freaks out and then realizes its me. we end up talking to her and her friend for 20 minutes. I hug her and her friend pretty early on. I hug them again later,, but i didn't use my center of gravity from my hips on the friend the second time :( - something i need to work on. i tell her im gona get at her about partying for welcome week and she's down.
i texted E the next day: Hey E, still hungover? Lol. If corndogs n bongs cant cure a hangover i duno what would
E: hey! haha the corndog for sure did the trick haha did you have a good birthday?
me: U kiddin? Bruce lee, girls, corndogs n weed- I had the time of my life. Was just debating how im goon top that tonight
E: hahahaha! wouldn't have been as good without the Bruce lee though…I don't think I've ever been that high in my life haha I went into pure retard mode
me: Whats life w/out retards? U guys provide variety lmao. its cool i probably had better days myself. Atleast all my braincells will b gone by the time i get this "diploma"
E: hahahaha! are you goin out tonight? I think we'll all be at kilroys later!
me: Actually yea, what time y'all headin there?
E: probly in like an hour we just started pregamin
Another girl I know, AW pulled up to the restaurant I was heading into earlier in the day, so I texted her seeing what was going on that night. She didn't respond, so later I called her and left her a voicemail talking about how she should be nice to the birthday boy and hit me back, and also how its just good manners to return phone calls. she texts me
AW: Sorry I've been super busy. Not doing much tonight.. Gotta get up at 7am
me: *emoji icon w tears rolling down cheeks* o thats cool gangsta. Well im goin ham this week we should party. U gona b available?
AW: Okay where?
me: Errwhere woman. Get ur party boots on n bring some trailmix; shit aint for the weakhearted
AW: Hahaha sounds great
I also texted S2 from last night:
me: Hey S2 wat it do
s2: Who is this
me: Had a scruffaduff beard goin lastnight. Some girls call me sexy, but you can call me… Alfonzo
s2: Haha oh really? Well nice to meet u "alfonzo"
s2: Haha for reals who is this? Lol
me: Lmao girl i wish i could say the same. But i think that dude that was tryin to buy u drinks mugged me in the alleyway right after..
me: Woke up covered in redbull
me: It's cool i used axe afterward
s2: Haahahaaaa oh my lord who is this!! Makin me laugh too hard
My roommate and I smoked a blunt around this time and my friend J (guy) told me that him and his buddies were gona be at the bar next-door to kilroys.
So I walked up to the entrance super-high and immediately the bouncer tells me to walk around some ropes- that were clearly out of the way and completely pointless to walk through. I realize that I was not in a confident "I'm the man" type of zone and that I get treated differently when I am not. I walked around the bullshit but it pissed me off so much I even wrote a note about it in my phone:
when bouncer tells you to walk around the line, just walk up to him without looking at him, then when he says it again when you get up there be like "oh, its cool man, don't worry about it" and say it with confidence and like you are doing him a favor.
Cuz realistically, he is making more work for himself in this situation. I need to make it my responsibility to alleviate him from creating extra work for both of us.
I think this would work, and i will have to try it. made a note to EXPERIMENT MORE with things I wouldn't normally try- often gets better results than my standard procedure.
Anyway i was kinda pissed w myself walking up the stairs because i feel like i didn't take the initiative there. As soon as I walk up I lock eyes with S2, who continues to talk to her friend. I went up to her and gave her a hug and she seemed excited to see me, and I was trying to tell if she had realized that it was me who had been texting her. She looks at me for a second but continues the conversation with her friend. I didn't want to stand there and listen to them talk, so I went inside to find my friends.
J is at the bar with a girl and a guy, and like 2 other girls hovering around them. There's a bunch of shots on the bar. J had told me earlier that he was buying like 100 shots. I chill standing behind them since there's no room at the bar. Im just trying to vibe, but that's my problem, is that I'm TRYING. I'm trying to fit in with people that I don't know and I want them to like me… sounds pathetic- but this is what I realized after the fact. Since they were obviously already having fun I had that "may i join the fun??" type attitude which is totally wack. I could tell by the way J's friend (whom I had not met yet) was interacting with the girls and J that he was alpha and very naturally dominant in a fun way. We'll call him Forest. He turned in his chair halfway toward me, and I extended my hand and introduced myself. J told him it was my birthday, and he acknowledged, but then quickly turned his attention back to the women. Some time passes and I take a lap around the bar, and text E.
me: Yo we at _____ orderin up shots *Image of like 50 shots*
E: hahahahahaha! those are all for you right
me: i mean we're down to share im w my boys, where y'all at?
E: hahaha we're t kilroys
me: Yall should come thru, theyre gona order 50 more lol just ordered 50
I realize maybe this last text was unnecessary, esp since i texted her that picture. but i was just trying to meet up with her and i had told j and forest that i had girls at kilroys.
Anyway we get tired of the bar we're at around the time i send the last text. We go across to kilroys to see if we can find my girls.
We do a lap through the whole bar together; at the end we get separated and I see E and her friends. I hug E and then A turns around and gives me those eyes again ;). And I hug her. but once again it wasn't a hip hug wtf. gota get out of these old bad habits
I want to find the guys I came with cuz I figure they'll order a bunch more shots so I leave the girls to go find them. I don't know if this was a mistake? what do you guys think…
I go get them and by the time we get back there my girls are getting chatted up by a bunch of dudes and I end up hovering behind them and not included which is a bigass DLV. My friends wait there for a little bit then leave, I can't blame them I was being a little pussy. What I should have done was clap my hands together and be like "it's time to take some shots!!!" and then introduced myself to the guys they were talking to or something. What do you guys think ?
Anyway I end up getting E's attention and telling her that I'm leaving but that it was good seeing her and she says the same.
I make conversation with a couple more girls that night but it was friend-to friend and shitty. I really got myself out of state with the bullshit that happened and its no excuse. I think I also started blaming myself for smoking because I think it made me think less on my toes but this just put me in a negative spiral of blaming myself for things that were no longer in my control.. I realize that this is problem I have. What I really need to focus on is Executing the fucking Program. And Fucking SEQUENCE!
The physical accosting stack would have atleast turned my last interaction of the night into a blowout or uncomfortable shit but at least i would have been pushing my boundaries AND NOT OVERLY CONCERNED WITH HER REACTION TO ME. jeez.
I don't go out the next two nights. I am moving into my new place and feelin a lil under the weather.
Hit up my bro Alfy who lives with a bunch of wrestlers at my school. he tells me to come over an pregame and that we're going to a house party. Im like jeeaaaaaaaa and my roommate drops me off at his crib.
Walk into the crib and go into Alfy's bro's room cuz i hear music. It's a dude I've never seen before getting pumped up to music in his boxers. Lol. He turns around and I quickly explain that I was Alfy's boy. He understands..
So I go into the back where they always drink and see four guys I've never seen before. They look at each other and then look at me and im like "Is Alfy here?" they tell me he doesn't live there anymore haha. I speak well and explain that I literally got dropped off there. They invite me to play Blackjack with them and are all surprisingly friendly. Haha I think its cuz Alfy is fuckin hilarious. Anyway we take some shots and are having a good time playing some card games and then decide to go to the party. We get there, it's not exactly a party but it's a girl's house and theres some cute girls there. We chill and the guys actually introduce me to the other wrestlers that come in. I talk to hb A3 who lives there but I stutter and do some dumb shit. I need to have more intent. For instance she asked me my name, and then was deciding to say my first name or my nickname that a lot of people call me. For girls I've decided im pretty much always going to use my first name.
Alfy comes in finally with his roommate stuart and its pretty much a celebration cuz Alfy is hilarious.
And he knows one of the girls (CU).
I talk to another girl (E3) and have some good eye contact. She has really beautiful blue-green eyes and I ask her whether they are green or blue, cuz they look turquoise, and I talk about them. Alfy does something funny and we both look over at him. I can see that she is smiling so I tell her I want to introduce her to him. I pull him over to her and let him do his thanggg.
We walk over to the attached house and theres a party in there. I talk to a few girls but i don't remember the subtleties of the interactions, just that they didn't really go anywhere. One girl i left in the middle of our conversation.
Our crew ends up walking to a nearby apartment complex and go into an apartment in there. Turns out I know the guys that live there. I end up talking to this chick and it turns out that she recognizes me from last year when I spent the night there..
We talk and I get her #. I text her right when I get it since i think this reduces the chances of flakes if u already have a conversation going. We had been talking about where she lives and if she is going to be throwing any parties. She said yeah and i sent her: You better be ready to pop bottles. And break shit, don't worry we're trained to kill cops
Cops are always busting kids in that area. There were actually a couple cop cars and an ambulance outside at the time.
I eject from her set and leave with the original crew.
We almost get in an argument w some dudes on the way back cuz they're hollerin at the ladies we're with,
I'm back at CU's crib and theres not much goin on. Somehow everyone leaves and its just me and A3. we sit kind of across from each other in the room and just talk. I figure here that since everyone is so close-knit i don't want to burn bridges by making any big moves, and I could always use some more female friends. So we talk about school, dogs, our families. I need to get better at eliciting emotions and going into deep rapport for these kinds of situations. But the conversation wasn't bad.
Eventually Alfy comes back and we meet up w an incoming freshman wrestler and go back to Alfy's to smoke. I get a ride back home.
I go straight to Alfy's real house tonight and it's him, his girlfriend (A4) who visits from a couple towns away, and her gf (A5) who I have not met yet. The girls are not particularly warm when I enter the room so I make no attempt at introducing myself to her friend. They're kind of whining so I just talk with Alfy. We get in his car and pick up some 4 Lokos. The guys who's house I entered last night are throwing a party tonight, so we head there even though its kind of far from the rest of the rest of the parties. I don't mind cuz they're cool guys and I know i can have a good time over there. We get there at like 9:00 pm and enter and the partys poppin! Definitely didn't expect that many people to be there so early. So me, Alfy, A4 and A5 go upstairs to the drinking room where I had played blackjack the night before. We draw attention to ourselves since we are sitting w two cute girls and have our own area upstairs with a table. Also we're seniors and we've been around here before, and know the guys there (Alfy used to live in that house although I just met em last night) so theres this air of comfortability around us. Alfy and I smash at least 7 shots in the midst of talking to people/fuckin around. A big wrestler g comes up to the table and is talking about how he's just 'not feeling it' down there yet, and I can of course relate (social momentum) and how some of the freshman were saying some weird-ass shit to girls. I immediately empathize with this since i've been around my fair share of guys that creep girls out and we have a good little chat about it. I could tell that even though it was very brief we connected on that shared experience and the FEELING that one gets when his friends/whoever he is with is CREEPING girls out. We actually build up quite a bit of rapport in a very short time.
I wander a little, talk to some girls and am getting in that zone where I can feel pretty well what others are feeling-- i go back to our room with Alf and the blondies (A4 + A5) and open them up a little bit w some teasing and lighthearted convo. Things are goin good but they're not drinking that much and theres hella girls downstairs so i tell Alfy legggoooo.
I go down there and immediately talk to this cute girl I saw on the way in. Just buildin momentum here, then I go and talk to some other girls. One of them gives me a dirty look or something. She basically just has this bad attitude about me talking w her friends, so i tell her she's being rude, and immediately turn my attention to her other friend and am very friendly. There's another girl who has a pink leopard purse and a leopard shirt on and I compliment her for it. I'm getting pretty smooth here now cuz the friends are looking at me and smiling even after I called their friend out for being rude. The leopard girl, (SH) starts talkin to me IOIing. There is some dispute about the bitchy friend here again and my reaction is "Naa, she was rude to me earlier." and dismiss it. Im bored with them and go open another set of two girls wearing some oldschool style clothes. i open about their clothes and the 1st one is very receptive, the other is kinda sorta. talk to them for awhile and some freshman kid comes up and tries to introduce himself to me but i am busy flirting. I turn around like 10 seconds later to shake his hand. he is trying to offer us all shots but has the "can i join the fun??" thing going on n the girls aren't interested. i go talk to a fineass mixed girl sitting against the wall and tell her she reminds me of a girl I know. She says "oh so I have something to live up to :)" i tell her "yeah ur gona have to impress me". I find out who she came with, and talk to other girls. On the way back up i see two girls she had pointed to before and say "hey ____'s friends!" making eye contact with a cutie and she giggles. I go back up an chill w Alf n the blonde crew, they're taking pictures of each other. A5 is being a little distant/ i don't think she drank much at all. I later find out that she was waiting for some boy to come over. I go outside and talk to the sexy mixed girl. I then turn my attention to her friend that I saw on the stairs (ZK) I hug them, ask them if they like tacos, and pretty much pimp their set fo the next few minutes while I tell them we should make tacos and they're like "yeah mexican monday!!" and talk about chocolate and bs. I get ZK's # and she agrees that we should all make tacos… although i realize this plan is not going to work with a bunch of girls and one guy they just met. I text her while standing next to her cuz im trying to practice this like I said. but the tex was lame cuz she figured out what i was doing insta and i just asked her if she likes light or dark chocolate. she said milk and i set her a text like an hour later after we had both left.
me: Lol were makin margheritas n im bringing my lucky sombrero. Lmao n i gota pinhata full of godiva
ZK: YES MEXICAN MONDAY
me: Last yr we had taco tuesdays but the pool has potential. Whered yall emd up goin anyway (she has a pool)
she doesn't reply. We head back to CU's house. When I get out of the car I recognize some girl I had seen earlier, so I open them. Her and her friends end up asking me to "save" them from the guys were with so we take them to CU's deck. There's people out there and im not paying any particular person any close attention. A blunt is being passed around and I hit it. I end up talking with one of the girls (O) who I had recognized from earlier. I get her # before I leave.
O texts me at 6:15pm: Are You partying?
me: Im moving stuff into my apartment, whatre u up to
O: Just went on the longest jog of my life cause i got lost! Ha ha. But are You drinking tonight at all?
me: Yeah for sure. You heard bout anything?
O: No. Lol but it doesn't matter we can have fun my friends and yours. Just hang out and drink
O: We all have our own boos.. Soo..
-whats interesting to note here is her eagerness to kickit. She is visiting with friends from another town and doesn't have shit to do tonight, which of course factors in. But when she said we can just hang out my friends and yours, the way it came across to me was as if she is suffering from scarcity cuz she doesn't even know me that well/ i feel like we didn't build up much attraction from the night before. So I feel like I am beginning to get an understanding of when I come across as coming from a place of scarcity, which is a definite turnoff and good thing to observe.
me: Yeah we could party hop. My house is close to campus
O: Awesome. What time and where do You want to meet?
The rest is logistics and i tell them to come over after im done working out. They arrive at my house about an hour after they say they will, and I decide we should just head out since they got there late. She apologizes when I point this out to her. And we go to CU's house cuz Alfy had said he was over there. We get there and he isn't there, but his friend Stu is. We chit chat and its funny cuz he was there last night when we met these 3 girls n now were all back. O and I are sitting on wicker chairs on the deck and she says "why are you so quiet?" I say "Why are you so quiet. you haven't said much" she smiles. We're over this spot cuz there's not shit goin down and she says lets leave. I go in to see if Stu wants to come with us and he comes. We find some house party that one of O's friends is at and go inside. It's nothing big but better than where we had been earlier. O hasn't been drinking cuz she is driving but she hates this and wants to drink and I can tell. So I tell her I'll drive and give her my jungle juice. She smiles. She keeps giving me these seductive smiles and flirtatious touches. And I barely reciprocate, just enough so she knows she's not wasting her time. I'm being super icy. Anyway she starts drinking and getting a little more touchy feely. I go upstairs and then come back down and asks where I went. She takes my hand up the stairs. At one point we are looking at each other and standing close. And no one else is directly next to us. I lean in and kiss her. She bites my lip pretty damn hard and it makes me laugh. We chill at this spot for awhile and I don't even really hang out with her. Her and her friends are making plans to go back to their hotel and She says "He's coming with us." pointing to me. So I go hang out with Stu and try to convince him to come also cuz it'll be more fun. he's down but apparently some other guys are coming too.. atleast they're bringing alcohol. I drive us back and Stu doesn't even end up comin cuz he's hammered and is meeting up w some buddies.
We get there and all of a sudden like 7 dudes pile in.. I'm like this is wack cuz I already spent a bunch of time waiting for them to get their asses together. They're all deciding what frat to go to and I don't want to go cuz i know we wont be able to get in with like 7 dudes and 3 girls. I call my roommate to pick me up and tell O that he's coming. When he gets there She walks me outside and we makeout. She sticks her tongue like as far as she can in my mouth twice and its making me fuckin cheese. She asks "what" and I say nothing. I tell her to call me later.
I leave w my roommate and he drops me off and picks up some girl. he fucks her in his room and I pass out in my bed cuz im fuckin tired. We had spent most of the day moving shit into our place. O calls me at 4:00am. I ignore it and she texts me
O: I want to stay with you.. My friends are being pretty selfish right now
me: Where u at
O: This same house (we were at before) I had to drive us here cuz they all got completely wasted at the fraternity. I have no idea how to get to the hotel
me: Soo, whatre u suggesting
O: Give me directions? Then we can come hang out with You
O: These dudes are so rude
me: I mean i was layin in bed if i meet up w u you should just come here urself, not tryin to party right now
me: *gives her directions*
O: Okay that's fine. I know how to get there from *hotel* I just need someone to tell me how to get to *hotel*
me: U got the text explaining right
O:Yea i know where im going. This sucks. Pray for me. Lol. Ill text you when we get there.
O: We made it. Geez ugh . Thank You for the directions
I'm so tired and not into the idea of sleeping with her. I turn off my phone.
Aside from being tired I realize that if I truly want to get really good at this shit I should have just picked up a redbull and told her to come over. I don't know, sometimes i just get turned off and am so desireless for sex with that girl after that. This is a sticking point of mine that I realize I need to deal with. Even my roommate was like dude, you need to fuck these girls for practice. They don't all have to be dimepieces. I know this and its definitely something I need to work on.
It's about me learning, and has nothing to do with the girl.
Anyway this is a long report and I almost didn't write it, but I think it is good that I did. When I go back and analyze each interaction I come out with a lot more than if i didn't take the time to write and analyze them. helps me internalize. Anyway I'll post some more stuff soon.
Thanks for reading guys and I would appreciate any comments that you have.