THE FORUMS

June 19th, 2013
Getting Through The Pain Period
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Knoxville

Respected Member

Join Date: 05/19/2011 | Posts: 546

I noticed in Jeffy's post he mentions many guys inability to get through the pain period. He made the distinction that it is guys inability to push through when they are not seeing results. I am over the rejection, not a big deal. Now the pain comes from not getting results. By results I don't mean lays (for now) I mean just pushing myself to get physical, stop girls dominantly in bars, etc. There was a point last night where I got a bit down and told myself to find a way to get physical. After 30 minutes or so I was suddenly stopping girls as Owen did in his last video. Girls were instantly smiling and saying things like "what?...what???" in a good way. I felt fucking good since I finally broke through and made enough reference experiences in just that type of situation to revisit later. (had to do it 5 times to make sure it wasn't luck as I was in disbelief) Stopping girls as Owen does is very similar to how I approach day game, but I do not reach for the girls wrist in the day. 

Some of my rejection I think might come from being too eccentric? A couple times last night I had girls tell me it was refreshing to meet a funny guy, or they just excitedly say "Your funny!" After too long they turn their backs to be when I say something too random or eccentric (trying to find the balance for self-amusement). I read on other forums that after being funny, just calm it down and let her game you once you have won her over. Maybe this is what I need to do?

BTW I can open like a mother fucker, my friends can't open like I can, but they can close. How frustrating it is at times. 

Anyways. I wanted to hear your advice on slugging through the pain period, experiences, etc. 
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#1
violalee

violalee

Senior Member

Join Date: 11/17/2008 | Posts: 221

 Liberation helps a lot for this. You'll still get phased a bit, but it will hurt a lot, lot less.

The link in my sig has a lot of information about this. If you've got any questions feel free to PM me.
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#2
80H

80H

Member

Join Date: 09/06/2010 | Posts: 72

 SHEER MOTHERFUCKING DETERMINATION. FUCK WORDS. DO SHIT. 
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#3

Talluer

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/10/2010 | Posts: 226

80H wrote:
 SHEER MOTHERFUCKING DETERMINATION. FUCK WORDS. DO SHIT. 
BOOM, no need for further discussion. Problem solved bitches.
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#4

DukeDevlin

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/08/2011 | Posts: 538

 Muzzi do you think it's possible you're getting too caught up in the silliness and becoming too try hard entertainer?
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#5
Trojan-

Trojan-

Trusted Member

Join Date: 02/02/2011 | Posts: 1172

The thought of fucking a hot girl got me through the rough times. I've always made it rediculously fun. I've had a lot of shitty nights, but I was set on getting to where I want and never stopped. Boners keep me motivated bacause they never go away. smile
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"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment." 
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#6

ExtraordinaryDump

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/09/2010 | Posts: 282

If you call it pain, then I guess your expecting a bad result.

Just have fun without any out come.
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#7

Pistola

Senior Member

Join Date: 07/12/2008 | Posts: 256

ExtraordinaryDump wrote:
If you call it pain, then I guess your expecting a bad result.

Just have fun without any out come.
This

Cant "stress" this enough.
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#8
Matt281

Matt281

Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 1485

ur not in the fucking pain period anymore. stfu you made out with a stripper last night

=)
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#9
thatkyle

thatkyle

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/02/2009 | Posts: 297

Muzzi,

You're doing everything right.  Good job pushing yourself!

I can understand how you want to push yourself harder and grow your game even more.  You want to force yourself to do something but no matter how hard you grit your teeth it only seems to become more impossible.  All the thinking and tension is making it hard for you to focus.  When you feel this way, STOP whatever you're doing and go through the following steps.

1) Observe your thoughts, emotions and body.  Is there any tension or negativity?
2) If there is tension, take several deep breaths while placing all of your focus on that tension.  Feel exactly where it is in your body, don't try to relax it, just focus on your breath.
3) Start smiling, even if it feels fake.  Continue breathing.
4) Ask yourself "What is the right thing for me to do in this situation?"  Once you quiet down the mental chatter, the answer is almost always immediately obvious.
5) You know what you have to do, you're smiling and you're aware of your breathing.  As soon as you move to do that thing, your body will immediately begin resisting again.  This is exactly what you want.  Breathe through it, feel the texture and nuance of that fear completely, and carry on taking action.

When I go through these steps myself, it works 100% of the time.  The challenge is being aware enough to know when this process will be helpful, and remembering to use it at that time.
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#10
Babyslayer

Babyslayer

Senior Member

Join Date: 10/14/2010 | Posts: 129

 youre looking at it the WRONG way. you already have a goal and since you have not reached it you still think you are not "winning". think of it more as a process and not from point A to point B. the pain will then be viewed as vital because it will help with the process.
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