THE FORUMS
9/1
I walk around with this chick-friend of mine, and the entire time I'm seeing cute girls to open, but I can't bring myself to.
I go to the gym. I'm happy about this. wasn't able to do heavy lifts, because of my shoulder dislocation (2 wks back), but I think i'll ramp up the weight over the next two weeks.
I go to a random house party in Rahway where I don't know anyone except 1 friend. Reference quote above post. I decide to do this as opposed to staying with a social circle in neighborhood bars. I go to the party. There's a lot of liquor, which I consume copiously. I talk to a girl about the grasslands and random shit for like 40 minutes. I'm sure she's attracted, which is weird/funny since I'm not used to hitting on girls that are so divergent from my type. She goes to Seton hall, and she has to leave. I don't go for the number or initiate any thing further. I'm not too attracted..I'd fuck her, but that's not saying much. Anyway, there's realy no excuse.
I hit on a girl with short hair. She's pretty cool, but I'm not speaking man to woman here. It's so beating around the bush, that I come across as a cool nice guy. I'm not putting my personality out there. When she's engaged with dudes, I don't just dominate the situation. beta male times.
I smoke weed. Get fucked. Party ends. I sleep for 3 hours
9/2
I wake up at 9 am and go to class till 140pm. Good friends around that I chill with, and we get drunk again. Copious alcohol is consumed today, and it's just unnecesary. I enjoyed hanging out with good company, but I wanna get laid motherfucker. I don't act like it.
We walk around campus and stuff (whether I be solo, with a friend, or with a few friends), and I never once approach. I'm being a little bitch. That's what I've become.
By nightfall, a whirlwind of shit happens where a friend of mine has a breakdown. I try to assauge the situation. Anyway. Get into the bar at 1am. I have 1 hr to work. Just then I realize i forgot to open the door for my roommate. I do so , and get girls to allow me to skip the line.
It's painful to type this but I actually chill with these two girls. I'm getting along with one. Buy a round of drinks. Girl isn't receptive along the interaction, and I don't pursue it. I just fester. I don't approach other girls because I'm being a fucking faggot. Night ends. This fucking sucked. I feel like I've hit a new low in my life. I leave and I'm angry, and I'm upset. And now I'm back at the room 30 minutes later writing this soulless report.
Areas of improvement
-don't drink or keep it to a minimum
-taking action around chicks
-taking action around HOT chicks
-going solo and developing core confidence
-being positive
-believing I'm awesome
-------------------------
I realize now why I never updated my blog in the past before. Digression, lack of discipline, ego that someone will read that I fucking suck. Well I do fucking suck. But that doesn't matter. I fucking suck because I'm not taking action, but I'm consciously "TRYING" to, which amounts to nothing. I'm a super senior in college, and I've been at this since college began pretty much (2nd semester). I've been treading water, and I feel like a newbie again.
I walk around with this chick-friend of mine, and the entire time I'm seeing cute girls to open, but I can't bring myself to.
I go to the gym. I'm happy about this. wasn't able to do heavy lifts, because of my shoulder dislocation (2 wks back), but I think i'll ramp up the weight over the next two weeks.
I go to a random house party in Rahway where I don't know anyone except 1 friend. Reference quote above post. I decide to do this as opposed to staying with a social circle in neighborhood bars. I go to the party. There's a lot of liquor, which I consume copiously. I talk to a girl about the grasslands and random shit for like 40 minutes. I'm sure she's attracted, which is weird/funny since I'm not used to hitting on girls that are so divergent from my type. She goes to Seton hall, and she has to leave. I don't go for the number or initiate any thing further. I'm not too attracted..I'd fuck her, but that's not saying much. Anyway, there's realy no excuse.
I hit on a girl with short hair. She's pretty cool, but I'm not speaking man to woman here. It's so beating around the bush, that I come across as a cool nice guy. I'm not putting my personality out there. When she's engaged with dudes, I don't just dominate the situation. beta male times.
I smoke weed. Get fucked. Party ends. I sleep for 3 hours
9/2
I wake up at 9 am and go to class till 140pm. Good friends around that I chill with, and we get drunk again. Copious alcohol is consumed today, and it's just unnecesary. I enjoyed hanging out with good company, but I wanna get laid motherfucker. I don't act like it.
We walk around campus and stuff (whether I be solo, with a friend, or with a few friends), and I never once approach. I'm being a little bitch. That's what I've become.
By nightfall, a whirlwind of shit happens where a friend of mine has a breakdown. I try to assauge the situation. Anyway. Get into the bar at 1am. I have 1 hr to work. Just then I realize i forgot to open the door for my roommate. I do so , and get girls to allow me to skip the line.
It's painful to type this but I actually chill with these two girls. I'm getting along with one. Buy a round of drinks. Girl isn't receptive along the interaction, and I don't pursue it. I just fester. I don't approach other girls because I'm being a fucking faggot. Night ends. This fucking sucked. I feel like I've hit a new low in my life. I leave and I'm angry, and I'm upset. And now I'm back at the room 30 minutes later writing this soulless report.
Areas of improvement
-don't drink or keep it to a minimum
-taking action around chicks
-taking action around HOT chicks
-going solo and developing core confidence
-being positive
-believing I'm awesome
-------------------------
I realize now why I never updated my blog in the past before. Digression, lack of discipline, ego that someone will read that I fucking suck. Well I do fucking suck. But that doesn't matter. I fucking suck because I'm not taking action, but I'm consciously "TRYING" to, which amounts to nothing. I'm a super senior in college, and I've been at this since college began pretty much (2nd semester). I've been treading water, and I feel like a newbie again.
__________________
Saturday 9/3/11
I run some errands during the day. I feel really shitty writing that last field report. I realize the trepidation I was feeling in the moment was just a bullshit needy feeling. I did feel however it would be healthy to remove myself from the situation and view this objectively. I decide to go out to the city this night.
I refrain from alcohol for the most part (took a sip of my friends concotion). It feels a lot better being at the venue sober.
Strange thing is I couldn't get into the Jane or Gans (wtf Tim), so we opted with 675 and if that sucked we'd go to Lit.
In 675, I approach 2 cute chicks by the bar, and I'm super awkward. I'm saying the lamest shit ever. But I'm very congniscent and self aware of this, so I do make a joke out of it. That being said, the interaction is going nowhere and I'm not being natural. Eventually a third girlfriend says hello, and then I eject the set.
A girl walks by and I sorta grab her arm and hold her. I'm being very self amusing and fun here. Also I think she's hot. We're hanging out and I'm being very sexual/fun, and then some chick walks up to us. She apparently is the girl's boss, and she's super chill about everything. It's cool when girls are socially intelligent enough to leave their friends alone when they're with a cool guy. I leave the venue with the girl, because I want to go back to her place. She has work in two hours, which I kind of gloss over in my mind but don't harbor. We're in the cab, and she's bringing up her African lover, her work starts in 2 hours, and the fact that the venue I was leading her to was far away. At this time, I feel like I'm not doing a good job of coaxing the adventurous/illogical self Tyler talks about, and I kind of just accept that it's not going down.
I then take the cab to Lit, but my one friend is beyond drunk and is throwing up like a madman. So we're forced to go back home to New Brunswick. There, the night pretty much winded down (2am bars close) and I smoked some weed at a friend's place. I was super high and this one guy, who was staying there, wanted to pick up girls in his pick-up truck and pretty much scrounge the street to do so. At this point, I'm super high but really intrigued if this guy is serious. So I decide to tag along and see what it's all about. Turns out that he's the most confident dude I'm met in my entire life. In the truck, he'd literally fuck with anyone outside. He'd approach anyone and everyone- from the new freshman to the ghetto chicks that are with their men. I asked him if he ever gets in fights. He told me guys always back down. He approaches this mixed set where there's a girl and one guy. He tells them to go to the house he's staying at, and the guy gives an ounce of disrespect. All of a sudden he calls out the guy and tells him he'll kick his ass and gets in his face. Of course the dude he's talking to backs down. I've never seen this level of confidence in anyone, and he was dead sober. All through the night he approaches any and every girl, and in any face-face interaction, the chicks are drawn to him. Never seen anything like this. Really showed me what it means to do whatever the fuck you want.
I run some errands during the day. I feel really shitty writing that last field report. I realize the trepidation I was feeling in the moment was just a bullshit needy feeling. I did feel however it would be healthy to remove myself from the situation and view this objectively. I decide to go out to the city this night.
I refrain from alcohol for the most part (took a sip of my friends concotion). It feels a lot better being at the venue sober.
Strange thing is I couldn't get into the Jane or Gans (wtf Tim), so we opted with 675 and if that sucked we'd go to Lit.
In 675, I approach 2 cute chicks by the bar, and I'm super awkward. I'm saying the lamest shit ever. But I'm very congniscent and self aware of this, so I do make a joke out of it. That being said, the interaction is going nowhere and I'm not being natural. Eventually a third girlfriend says hello, and then I eject the set.
A girl walks by and I sorta grab her arm and hold her. I'm being very self amusing and fun here. Also I think she's hot. We're hanging out and I'm being very sexual/fun, and then some chick walks up to us. She apparently is the girl's boss, and she's super chill about everything. It's cool when girls are socially intelligent enough to leave their friends alone when they're with a cool guy. I leave the venue with the girl, because I want to go back to her place. She has work in two hours, which I kind of gloss over in my mind but don't harbor. We're in the cab, and she's bringing up her African lover, her work starts in 2 hours, and the fact that the venue I was leading her to was far away. At this time, I feel like I'm not doing a good job of coaxing the adventurous/illogical self Tyler talks about, and I kind of just accept that it's not going down.
I then take the cab to Lit, but my one friend is beyond drunk and is throwing up like a madman. So we're forced to go back home to New Brunswick. There, the night pretty much winded down (2am bars close) and I smoked some weed at a friend's place. I was super high and this one guy, who was staying there, wanted to pick up girls in his pick-up truck and pretty much scrounge the street to do so. At this point, I'm super high but really intrigued if this guy is serious. So I decide to tag along and see what it's all about. Turns out that he's the most confident dude I'm met in my entire life. In the truck, he'd literally fuck with anyone outside. He'd approach anyone and everyone- from the new freshman to the ghetto chicks that are with their men. I asked him if he ever gets in fights. He told me guys always back down. He approaches this mixed set where there's a girl and one guy. He tells them to go to the house he's staying at, and the guy gives an ounce of disrespect. All of a sudden he calls out the guy and tells him he'll kick his ass and gets in his face. Of course the dude he's talking to backs down. I've never seen this level of confidence in anyone, and he was dead sober. All through the night he approaches any and every girl, and in any face-face interaction, the chicks are drawn to him. Never seen anything like this. Really showed me what it means to do whatever the fuck you want.
__________________
9/4
Daytime- I read some Way of Superior Man, chill, but still cannot open a set.
Night-
Not really a conventional night out. This night consisted of me chilling with that crazy motherfucker. He was walking with his dog opening every group in sight. If it's not a good logistical situation , he plugs his business and tries to network. If there's a hot girl she gets hit on.
Anyway, there were a lot of little interactions. There was a notable set I had with a freshman suprisingly, which i just acted like myself and we got a long well. in hindsight she was dtf, but i sort of just let her go.
We recruited like 2 girls and one guy off the street. The group began to craft its own dynamic, which was cool, and we went to a friends house to smoke more weed. There was only one attractive girl that I hadn't talked to until i got high. When I did, there was some chemistry, which the orbiter friend that's trying to get it in tried to fuck with by lumbering around saying he wants to leave. Tomorrow (today when I'm writing. should be more productive)
Daytime- I read some Way of Superior Man, chill, but still cannot open a set.
Night-
Not really a conventional night out. This night consisted of me chilling with that crazy motherfucker. He was walking with his dog opening every group in sight. If it's not a good logistical situation , he plugs his business and tries to network. If there's a hot girl she gets hit on.
Anyway, there were a lot of little interactions. There was a notable set I had with a freshman suprisingly, which i just acted like myself and we got a long well. in hindsight she was dtf, but i sort of just let her go.
We recruited like 2 girls and one guy off the street. The group began to craft its own dynamic, which was cool, and we went to a friends house to smoke more weed. There was only one attractive girl that I hadn't talked to until i got high. When I did, there was some chemistry, which the orbiter friend that's trying to get it in tried to fuck with by lumbering around saying he wants to leave. Tomorrow (today when I'm writing. should be more productive)
__________________
Monday 9-5-11
First report somehow got deleted. Whatever.
’ll just write this up quick.
Daytime I did some proper squats. Feels good man.
It was a friend’s birthday, and she brought two friends with her to the bar. One had the “hot slut” look, and the other was pretty cute too. We decide to go to the city after deciding the bars are beat. I also invite this random Israeli couple to come with us, which was cool
We get to the city, and thanks to Akil, there’s no problem getting into the Dream Hotel for everyone except me. I have an expired license. I don’t get in. Was sorta pissed, but then I realized I get to go solo!
I go to the Jane, and the place isn’t crowded. However, there’s some girls anyway. I approach this one tall chick that grabbed my ass, and she was sorta getting sensual with another girl. The vibe was friendly, but “we just wanna make out”, so I was cool with it. It was a good warmup too.
I approach a Norweigan chick, which went really well. However, I saw the window open when I was inches form her where I should have escalated, made some moves, and went for the kiss. I didn’t act on it, though I recognized it. So yeah the interaction went south after this, since I was “trying” after that point. I went for the isolation but it was too little too late. Need to act on that window, and not care about the consequence. The interaction beautifully demonstrated what it means to NOT have clarity of intent. The sexual tension and everything built up so well, like a movie that wanted to come to it’s first resolution have the suspense, but it ended up being a horrible twist where I was a pussy. I wanna be on my Kubrick edge not my M.Night Shyamalan shit.
I leave the venue and go to Cielo, where there’s quite a few girls and a good turnout, especially for a Monday. Girls are really cute here. I’m really nervous and have anxiety, so I need to exert some willpower. I do so and approach this tall hottie after 5 min. of mustering up the courage. I put so much pressure on myself that I “TRY” too damn hard. Pushing for a conclusion at this place is what I did, as opposed to enjoying every part of the interaction, which includes UNCERTAINTY, AWKWARDNESS, AND BEING HUMAN. To deny these things which are at my forefront when I’m approaching it really says “I’m a creep that doesn’t know any better.”
There is this German girl that’s so damn beautiful. I take like 15 minutes to approach her. Way too outcome dependent here. I should go solo more. I have positive self talk, and I reframe everything that this worked out for the better. I’m really glad this night turned out how it did. So the interaction with the German girls goes pretty bad. I’m totally congniscent of me being logical and in my head, and we both agree that I’m displaying quite a bit of faggotry which is pretty hilarious in hindsight.
So I go back to chillin/dancing. I think once I get into dancing, mad girls start hovering me. Oh shit! I’m pumping my own state mothafucka. But it’s funny because when girls hover, I get in my head how to approach them LOL. I’m not acting organically. It’s stiff robot me right now. Anyway some chick approaches me about my hair, and she’s really physical. I don’t push things, thought she was attractive. She retreats back to her friends. The dj stops playing venue closed. Some chick that’s been hovering me is around. I talk to her about the music. I’m super chill at this point, and we vibe pretty well. She’s also really sexual. She asks me where I’m going over and over, and I really wish I could say at this point “my apartment. “ , because she seemed dtf. There would be a logistical issue though, since I creeped her German friend out haha.
Overall:
-Solo is pretty awesome. I think I’m semi- chill, but need to exersize being able to attain this in any environment. Core Confidence, right?
-Positivity goes a long way.
-Don’t be afraid of a “bad interaction” A “bad interaction” is one where I’m TRYING (i.e Buyer SellerDynamic. If I don’t give a fuck how an interaction goes and do what I want according to what I feel in that relative moment of the interaction, I’m always the buyer…ALWAYS. )
First report somehow got deleted. Whatever.
’ll just write this up quick.
Daytime I did some proper squats. Feels good man.
It was a friend’s birthday, and she brought two friends with her to the bar. One had the “hot slut” look, and the other was pretty cute too. We decide to go to the city after deciding the bars are beat. I also invite this random Israeli couple to come with us, which was cool
We get to the city, and thanks to Akil, there’s no problem getting into the Dream Hotel for everyone except me. I have an expired license. I don’t get in. Was sorta pissed, but then I realized I get to go solo!
I go to the Jane, and the place isn’t crowded. However, there’s some girls anyway. I approach this one tall chick that grabbed my ass, and she was sorta getting sensual with another girl. The vibe was friendly, but “we just wanna make out”, so I was cool with it. It was a good warmup too.
I approach a Norweigan chick, which went really well. However, I saw the window open when I was inches form her where I should have escalated, made some moves, and went for the kiss. I didn’t act on it, though I recognized it. So yeah the interaction went south after this, since I was “trying” after that point. I went for the isolation but it was too little too late. Need to act on that window, and not care about the consequence. The interaction beautifully demonstrated what it means to NOT have clarity of intent. The sexual tension and everything built up so well, like a movie that wanted to come to it’s first resolution have the suspense, but it ended up being a horrible twist where I was a pussy. I wanna be on my Kubrick edge not my M.Night Shyamalan shit.
I leave the venue and go to Cielo, where there’s quite a few girls and a good turnout, especially for a Monday. Girls are really cute here. I’m really nervous and have anxiety, so I need to exert some willpower. I do so and approach this tall hottie after 5 min. of mustering up the courage. I put so much pressure on myself that I “TRY” too damn hard. Pushing for a conclusion at this place is what I did, as opposed to enjoying every part of the interaction, which includes UNCERTAINTY, AWKWARDNESS, AND BEING HUMAN. To deny these things which are at my forefront when I’m approaching it really says “I’m a creep that doesn’t know any better.”
There is this German girl that’s so damn beautiful. I take like 15 minutes to approach her. Way too outcome dependent here. I should go solo more. I have positive self talk, and I reframe everything that this worked out for the better. I’m really glad this night turned out how it did. So the interaction with the German girls goes pretty bad. I’m totally congniscent of me being logical and in my head, and we both agree that I’m displaying quite a bit of faggotry which is pretty hilarious in hindsight.
So I go back to chillin/dancing. I think once I get into dancing, mad girls start hovering me. Oh shit! I’m pumping my own state mothafucka. But it’s funny because when girls hover, I get in my head how to approach them LOL. I’m not acting organically. It’s stiff robot me right now. Anyway some chick approaches me about my hair, and she’s really physical. I don’t push things, thought she was attractive. She retreats back to her friends. The dj stops playing venue closed. Some chick that’s been hovering me is around. I talk to her about the music. I’m super chill at this point, and we vibe pretty well. She’s also really sexual. She asks me where I’m going over and over, and I really wish I could say at this point “my apartment. “ , because she seemed dtf. There would be a logistical issue though, since I creeped her German friend out haha.
Overall:
-Solo is pretty awesome. I think I’m semi- chill, but need to exersize being able to attain this in any environment. Core Confidence, right?
-Positivity goes a long way.
-Don’t be afraid of a “bad interaction” A “bad interaction” is one where I’m TRYING (i.e Buyer SellerDynamic. If I don’t give a fuck how an interaction goes and do what I want according to what I feel in that relative moment of the interaction, I’m always the buyer…ALWAYS. )
__________________
Okay.
Haven't updated like I said I would. But that week my license expired so it hindered my nightgame. I pussyfooted daygame for the most part, but I got that handled last weekend.
Yesterday, I approached two girls. The first one was cute and had a cool nerd look. I was uncomfortable with the interaction and projected fucking fag creep. The second girl was cute too, and it went the same way. Each girl really opens up and gives a window. I just need to be comfortable.
9-13-11
I've been stooping (sitting on my stoop) and approaching girls. I'll chill, sip on a beer, then holler at some girls. To pump my state me and my friends would serenade girls with K-Ci and Jojo "All my Life"
Many little interactions here and there. I did one legit approach where I literally ran up to a girl, stopped her, and talked to her for a couple of minutes. She was into it. I stopped short, and I should have gotten her #. Later on, I go to Ev's and hit on the bartender, which I never do. I try to get her to come out with us, but she's kinda bound by her job.
I go to the bars that night. I'm being a giant pussy and I let my female friend approach girls for me, and then have them meet me. I think it's clever at the time, but then I realize I'm just being a bitch lol. So i approach eventually, and there's so many good looking girls out. I really pussed out. I approach an indian chick that was cute, and she was receptive, but I was being lame, which I admit.
Kind of frustrated, but I 'm glad I got my daygame going. Need to keep up the day-approaches, and I need to be me. No half-stepping bullshit. I can't tread water. This is me, and I need to really unleash my personality on the line every time without any regard to the reactions I receive.
Haven't updated like I said I would. But that week my license expired so it hindered my nightgame. I pussyfooted daygame for the most part, but I got that handled last weekend.
Yesterday, I approached two girls. The first one was cute and had a cool nerd look. I was uncomfortable with the interaction and projected fucking fag creep. The second girl was cute too, and it went the same way. Each girl really opens up and gives a window. I just need to be comfortable.
9-13-11
I've been stooping (sitting on my stoop) and approaching girls. I'll chill, sip on a beer, then holler at some girls. To pump my state me and my friends would serenade girls with K-Ci and Jojo "All my Life"
Many little interactions here and there. I did one legit approach where I literally ran up to a girl, stopped her, and talked to her for a couple of minutes. She was into it. I stopped short, and I should have gotten her #. Later on, I go to Ev's and hit on the bartender, which I never do. I try to get her to come out with us, but she's kinda bound by her job.
I go to the bars that night. I'm being a giant pussy and I let my female friend approach girls for me, and then have them meet me. I think it's clever at the time, but then I realize I'm just being a bitch lol. So i approach eventually, and there's so many good looking girls out. I really pussed out. I approach an indian chick that was cute, and she was receptive, but I was being lame, which I admit.
Kind of frustrated, but I 'm glad I got my daygame going. Need to keep up the day-approaches, and I need to be me. No half-stepping bullshit. I can't tread water. This is me, and I need to really unleash my personality on the line every time without any regard to the reactions I receive.
__________________
9/14
I guess I should even address lame days.
I stoop'ed it once more. I talked to multiple girls, and I'm getting more comfortable in this environment. I've noticed girls started even initiating convo after seeing me out there yesterday chillin with a beer. Had a really good interaction with my negihbor, who is really cute.
I went to Golden Rail at night, but I was kind of exhausted from earlier. I want to focus on doing legit sets as opposed to letting this honeys pass by.
I guess I should even address lame days.
I stoop'ed it once more. I talked to multiple girls, and I'm getting more comfortable in this environment. I've noticed girls started even initiating convo after seeing me out there yesterday chillin with a beer. Had a really good interaction with my negihbor, who is really cute.
I went to Golden Rail at night, but I was kind of exhausted from earlier. I want to focus on doing legit sets as opposed to letting this honeys pass by.
__________________
9/14
I guess I should even address lame days.
I stoop'ed it once more. I talked to multiple girls, and I'm getting more comfortable in this environment. I've noticed girls started even initiating convo after seeing me out there yesterday chillin with a beer. Had a really good interaction with my negihbor, who is really cute.
I went to Golden Rail at night, but I was kind of exhausted from earlier. I want to focus on doing legit sets as opposed to letting this honeys pass by.
I guess I should even address lame days.
I stoop'ed it once more. I talked to multiple girls, and I'm getting more comfortable in this environment. I've noticed girls started even initiating convo after seeing me out there yesterday chillin with a beer. Had a really good interaction with my negihbor, who is really cute.
I went to Golden Rail at night, but I was kind of exhausted from earlier. I want to focus on doing legit sets as opposed to letting this honeys pass by.
__________________
9/15
I went to Golden Rail feeling super jaded. I had a good stoop session that day, where I hit up some girls. But hollering at girls on the stoop only brings in SOME people. Also I had a good interaction with my neighbor I like.
So Golden Rail, it was me and my friends old f-buddy. She hung out w me as I approached girls as they walked by. The approaches were akin to Julian in that one video where he sucked, but even worse. I left dejected and kind of annoyed that I was approaching saying literally "hey how are you" and the reactions I was getting were very bad.
I realized later and I know now, that I wasn't making the most of it. I was cynical. I was projecting negative vibes, and I reaped what I sewed.
I leave the bar, and then I smoke weed. And then I drop some Lucy, which makes me so exhausted the next day I just chill in my room, invite friends and listen to Beach House. It felt good to do that.
9/17
I went to the bars for like an hour, and hit on no girls.
pretty good workout tho
9/20
I went to the city pretty randomly with some friends. I approach this Danish chick at Gaslight that's pretty tall. She was walking by and I pulled her arm in and said "hey..how are you?" super chill. She lit up. We talked a while, and I was physical and in her shit and she really enjoyed it. Her indian friend was kinda subtly unhapppy that she lost her friend she came to chill with. The Indian girl wanted to go home and I was trying to get the Danish chick to come with me to the Jane, but to no avail. I settled for a measley number haha.
On the street I was approaching a lot of girls. a beautiful 4-set of german chicks. I generally was very carefree and did what I wanted in the city. Very rejuvinated. Feels good man.
9/21
I got too drunk today. In the daytime, I was doing some good approaches during my stoop session, but at night I literally didn't approach at golden rail. I just stood there....I just got pissed at myself for not "HAVING FUN" I've dealt with a lot of negativity since I'm in more approaching situations now, but I've had an undercurrent of reactiveness so I'm being extra cogniscent now. Anyway, I go up (it's Karaoke night) since "I'm a Creep" by Radiohead and then I leave. It felt pretty empowering to be honest...I only did it because I promised myself I would on Lucy, but I know that I'm not alientated and hopeless. This doesn't matter, and I'll direct my perception and project that in a positive light.
9/22
I go to the bar with Luis. He's approaching mad girls. I approach these indian girls and sort of make fun of them to get in a fun social mood. He's like "point and I go" so I make like the Bee gees. This one friend circle of 4-5 were dancing on the platform of golden rail, and a lot of guys were trying ot holler at them. The short one of the group, sees me dancing just focusing on having fun lol, and she nudges me. She nudges me and says "Why don't you meet my friends" I look around me, and there's 4 really cute girls all eager. I respond "Seriously? That's really cool of you to do that."
I saw this tall girl earlier immediately with a nose piercing, and artsy attire. So naturally I did my best Ash Ketchum impression and said "I choose you pikachu!" We danced a little bit, kissed, and had a good vibe. Only after 5 minutes she wanted to go outside and "smoke" so we could talk.
So I told her I'd accompany her. When we were outside, I lead her to my stoop which is close in proximity to the bar. We hang out on the stoop, talk, and kiss. She's so ready to have sex, and it's almost like I'M THE ONE SLOWING IT DOWN. I'm just so baffled that she would want to get down so fast, when I didn't have a properly established "bubble" with her. Slightly shot myself in the foot.
I lead her upstairs. We listen to music. We talk. I learn about her. I escalate, and she's gettting really turned on, but she asserts that "I don't wanna do this, and you won't call me the next day." I didn't even say "no durp. i'll call u" I just was like "yeah i see your point" I didn't push it too hard...maybe I took for granted that I'd see her again.
Either way, I walk her home, still I'm pretty happy. I really enjoyed this odd interaction...I can't really pat myself on the back, since I really didn't DO anything. But isn't that the point?
9/23
Daytime I talk to a bartender at Evelyn's who is a really sweet girl. We invite her out with us. I was very chill in this interaction. Fresh off of watching Tyler's vid, I feel like a mischievous child looking at a cookie when I saw girls this day.
I went out to see
Great show, afterward I hang out with Katalyst. Been so damn long since we've hung out.
We start out at LES, and decide BK would be better. This bar we go to is pretty big, and it has a big outdoor area. Good because I was getting tired of union pool.
I'm very self amusing this day, and I'm hitting up a lot of girls. I'm also getting drunker, which I kind of regret. I had so many interactions, but some that stick out. There was a girl waiting in line for the bathroom and I just was like "hey ...ur purdy" and I kept being goofy and telling her in redundant forms variations of the same that incorporate "purdiness." I also smelled her hair and comandeered her to give me her secret, and she make me turn into a normal indian if I receive that elixir. Very awesome shit coming out of my mouth, very silly, felt Russell Brandish. I make out w / her, and then tell her I 'd see her later. I do see her later, and we pick up where we left off. I'm trying to pull her outside, but she wants to keep friend proximity, but I still positive and joke about it. She goes to get a drink for herself, maybe I should've went with. While she's gone, I approach a hot puertorican chick, and I'm rubbing my boner all over her haha. I'm turned on by that face. She's attracted too. We talk and she admits how awesome I am (I was like a positive feeling generator that day) and I pull her towards outside. We're literally like 3 steps away from the door, and her stupid friend is like "DUR GIRLFRIEND " She cockblocks hard, and I'm a little taken aback, and then I move on.
I get in several other 5-10 minute interactions, but I think I needed to chill out more. It's good having a fun night, but I was slightly outside the threshold range for "chillness."
I had a really good platonic (yes) convo with a french mixed set. They just told me the differences in dating and the apporaches people take there. Namely there's no shame for going after what you want. People don't obsess over reactions of others, and they just go by what they feel in the moment. I took the french girl's number so she can be my friend. I'm actually making female friends now, something I didn't do before.
Kobe is in a long interaction with a chick, and the night is winding down (345ish) so I just chill around and every girl that walks by I approach that's cute. One chick namely had these leopard pants, and I was grabbing her leg in an elevated position talking to her, but her friends were leaving. I could've been more persistent, since that was going well, but I should've met her earlier. This venue is a goldmine.
Need to also remember to be a more perceptive wing. So I'm having fun again. That french conversation and the one with Andy really put things in perspective, and they were good gaps between the chaos which has been this semester.
I went to Golden Rail feeling super jaded. I had a good stoop session that day, where I hit up some girls. But hollering at girls on the stoop only brings in SOME people. Also I had a good interaction with my neighbor I like.
So Golden Rail, it was me and my friends old f-buddy. She hung out w me as I approached girls as they walked by. The approaches were akin to Julian in that one video where he sucked, but even worse. I left dejected and kind of annoyed that I was approaching saying literally "hey how are you" and the reactions I was getting were very bad.
I realized later and I know now, that I wasn't making the most of it. I was cynical. I was projecting negative vibes, and I reaped what I sewed.
I leave the bar, and then I smoke weed. And then I drop some Lucy, which makes me so exhausted the next day I just chill in my room, invite friends and listen to Beach House. It felt good to do that.
9/17
I went to the bars for like an hour, and hit on no girls.
pretty good workout tho
9/20
I went to the city pretty randomly with some friends. I approach this Danish chick at Gaslight that's pretty tall. She was walking by and I pulled her arm in and said "hey..how are you?" super chill. She lit up. We talked a while, and I was physical and in her shit and she really enjoyed it. Her indian friend was kinda subtly unhapppy that she lost her friend she came to chill with. The Indian girl wanted to go home and I was trying to get the Danish chick to come with me to the Jane, but to no avail. I settled for a measley number haha.
On the street I was approaching a lot of girls. a beautiful 4-set of german chicks. I generally was very carefree and did what I wanted in the city. Very rejuvinated. Feels good man.
9/21
I got too drunk today. In the daytime, I was doing some good approaches during my stoop session, but at night I literally didn't approach at golden rail. I just stood there....I just got pissed at myself for not "HAVING FUN" I've dealt with a lot of negativity since I'm in more approaching situations now, but I've had an undercurrent of reactiveness so I'm being extra cogniscent now. Anyway, I go up (it's Karaoke night) since "I'm a Creep" by Radiohead and then I leave. It felt pretty empowering to be honest...I only did it because I promised myself I would on Lucy, but I know that I'm not alientated and hopeless. This doesn't matter, and I'll direct my perception and project that in a positive light.
9/22
I go to the bar with Luis. He's approaching mad girls. I approach these indian girls and sort of make fun of them to get in a fun social mood. He's like "point and I go" so I make like the Bee gees. This one friend circle of 4-5 were dancing on the platform of golden rail, and a lot of guys were trying ot holler at them. The short one of the group, sees me dancing just focusing on having fun lol, and she nudges me. She nudges me and says "Why don't you meet my friends" I look around me, and there's 4 really cute girls all eager. I respond "Seriously? That's really cool of you to do that."
I saw this tall girl earlier immediately with a nose piercing, and artsy attire. So naturally I did my best Ash Ketchum impression and said "I choose you pikachu!" We danced a little bit, kissed, and had a good vibe. Only after 5 minutes she wanted to go outside and "smoke" so we could talk.
So I told her I'd accompany her. When we were outside, I lead her to my stoop which is close in proximity to the bar. We hang out on the stoop, talk, and kiss. She's so ready to have sex, and it's almost like I'M THE ONE SLOWING IT DOWN. I'm just so baffled that she would want to get down so fast, when I didn't have a properly established "bubble" with her. Slightly shot myself in the foot.
I lead her upstairs. We listen to music. We talk. I learn about her. I escalate, and she's gettting really turned on, but she asserts that "I don't wanna do this, and you won't call me the next day." I didn't even say "no durp. i'll call u" I just was like "yeah i see your point" I didn't push it too hard...maybe I took for granted that I'd see her again.
Either way, I walk her home, still I'm pretty happy. I really enjoyed this odd interaction...I can't really pat myself on the back, since I really didn't DO anything. But isn't that the point?
9/23
Daytime I talk to a bartender at Evelyn's who is a really sweet girl. We invite her out with us. I was very chill in this interaction. Fresh off of watching Tyler's vid, I feel like a mischievous child looking at a cookie when I saw girls this day.
I went out to see
Great show, afterward I hang out with Katalyst. Been so damn long since we've hung out.
We start out at LES, and decide BK would be better. This bar we go to is pretty big, and it has a big outdoor area. Good because I was getting tired of union pool.
I'm very self amusing this day, and I'm hitting up a lot of girls. I'm also getting drunker, which I kind of regret. I had so many interactions, but some that stick out. There was a girl waiting in line for the bathroom and I just was like "hey ...ur purdy" and I kept being goofy and telling her in redundant forms variations of the same that incorporate "purdiness." I also smelled her hair and comandeered her to give me her secret, and she make me turn into a normal indian if I receive that elixir. Very awesome shit coming out of my mouth, very silly, felt Russell Brandish. I make out w / her, and then tell her I 'd see her later. I do see her later, and we pick up where we left off. I'm trying to pull her outside, but she wants to keep friend proximity, but I still positive and joke about it. She goes to get a drink for herself, maybe I should've went with. While she's gone, I approach a hot puertorican chick, and I'm rubbing my boner all over her haha. I'm turned on by that face. She's attracted too. We talk and she admits how awesome I am (I was like a positive feeling generator that day) and I pull her towards outside. We're literally like 3 steps away from the door, and her stupid friend is like "DUR GIRLFRIEND " She cockblocks hard, and I'm a little taken aback, and then I move on.
I get in several other 5-10 minute interactions, but I think I needed to chill out more. It's good having a fun night, but I was slightly outside the threshold range for "chillness."
I had a really good platonic (yes) convo with a french mixed set. They just told me the differences in dating and the apporaches people take there. Namely there's no shame for going after what you want. People don't obsess over reactions of others, and they just go by what they feel in the moment. I took the french girl's number so she can be my friend. I'm actually making female friends now, something I didn't do before.
Kobe is in a long interaction with a chick, and the night is winding down (345ish) so I just chill around and every girl that walks by I approach that's cute. One chick namely had these leopard pants, and I was grabbing her leg in an elevated position talking to her, but her friends were leaving. I could've been more persistent, since that was going well, but I should've met her earlier. This venue is a goldmine.
Need to also remember to be a more perceptive wing. So I'm having fun again. That french conversation and the one with Andy really put things in perspective, and they were good gaps between the chaos which has been this semester.
__________________
9-25-11
I didn't even originally intend to go out this day, but it just manifested.
I go to Chipotle that day and I see two girls leaving. Super hot blond with these great legs and this cute burnette. I feel weird approaching them at Chipotle (why??), but once they leave, I leave. I run up and have a quick convo with them that doesn't lead anywhere really. That being said, it does feel good approaching in the day and once that initial nervousness subsists, this undercurrent of chill flows through. I really enjoyed that feeling.
I walk back to my apartment and see a girl in a hurry but I stop her by the arm and look in her eyes and tell her she looks great in her dress. I think having many interactions (long and short) is good in college. Like it's not in NY where you won't see her again. So I'm not beating myself up over having a quick little interaction. also it feels good. offering value.
I'm sitting on the William the Silent statue in Vorhees area. See a cute chick with green streaks in her hair. I walk up to her and tell her she's cute. She has a boyfriend apparently, but I still hang out with her for like 1/2 an hour and shoot the shit. I'm actually open to meeting female friends, where as before it was really binary (1-fuck 0-Next)
So I go home that night and hang out with the family for a short while. Felt nice. When I get back, I see a guy who's parked in front of my apartment building at like a 45 degree angle. It was a black escalade too. Talk about a Pig Parker. I'm not letting this behavior slide and society should admonish him. I'm going to be the courtesy police today. My Larry David moment. So I see a guy walking in the street looking at the parking lot. I ask "HEY! Is that your truck?" He's says no. So I call New Brunswick Parking Authority, but their asses aren't working at 11pm on a Sunday. I feel like it's not worthy of 911, so I decide to walk down my street to find a cop and report this malfeascence.
So I 'm walking, confused how I can't find a single freaking cop in New Brunswick, seriously??? By the way, I realize this is absurd, but it's kind of funny for me, and I really do think the degree of perpendicularity would be a taboo in some cultures. As I walk past this bar, a girl greets me. And I'm like super chill "Hey :) How are you?" She then gives me a hug. I talk to her and her friend. I tell the girl, who is kind of Zoey Deschanel-esque that she's adorable. I explain my story, but she's quite drunk and doesn't get it initially. Her guy-friend comes out and he's awesome. Like a Jonah Hill type guy. Zoey gets pissed that I didn't agree that women should be able to vote. It was pretty hilarious to be honest. She tells me to fuck off and goes inside the bar. Her friends say its because she was drinking AND broke up with her boyfriend. I become attracted to this girl and I decide to stick it through. I go inside the bar and by my new friends a beer. She keeps telling me to fuck off, but it's almost cute when she says it. Eventually, I'm like "no..FUCK YOU. I 've only been kind to you and you've treated me like shit. And even then I still bought you a drink, because I see what you're going through"
I wasn't pissed when I said that, but I was more at ease. Since I didn't PLAN on this being a night out, I had 0 pressure. It's how it should ALWAYS be. She comes up to me, and she's totally looking at me as if she never saw me before. She lights up and begins opening up to me and being pretty cool. Her friends want to go outside, but she wants to stay and chill with me. I'm being mostly chill listening to her bullshit, and chirpsing in some "you're a lot cuter when you don't fucking talk about your bf " When her friends return, she wants to hang out with me outside in an effort to avoid them. We talk, she gets a smoke, and I feel like taking a walk (maybe the Stoop), but she's cogniscent that her friends would be pissed and I totally forgot about them in the moment. So I return back her friends come out, and they should join me for Karaoke on Wednesday and we'll see where it goes from there. She asked me if I could be her rebound, and I gave some ambiguous answer where I smirked and changed the topic.
Really cool series of events.
I didn't even originally intend to go out this day, but it just manifested.
I go to Chipotle that day and I see two girls leaving. Super hot blond with these great legs and this cute burnette. I feel weird approaching them at Chipotle (why??), but once they leave, I leave. I run up and have a quick convo with them that doesn't lead anywhere really. That being said, it does feel good approaching in the day and once that initial nervousness subsists, this undercurrent of chill flows through. I really enjoyed that feeling.
I walk back to my apartment and see a girl in a hurry but I stop her by the arm and look in her eyes and tell her she looks great in her dress. I think having many interactions (long and short) is good in college. Like it's not in NY where you won't see her again. So I'm not beating myself up over having a quick little interaction. also it feels good. offering value.
I'm sitting on the William the Silent statue in Vorhees area. See a cute chick with green streaks in her hair. I walk up to her and tell her she's cute. She has a boyfriend apparently, but I still hang out with her for like 1/2 an hour and shoot the shit. I'm actually open to meeting female friends, where as before it was really binary (1-fuck 0-Next)
So I go home that night and hang out with the family for a short while. Felt nice. When I get back, I see a guy who's parked in front of my apartment building at like a 45 degree angle. It was a black escalade too. Talk about a Pig Parker. I'm not letting this behavior slide and society should admonish him. I'm going to be the courtesy police today. My Larry David moment. So I see a guy walking in the street looking at the parking lot. I ask "HEY! Is that your truck?" He's says no. So I call New Brunswick Parking Authority, but their asses aren't working at 11pm on a Sunday. I feel like it's not worthy of 911, so I decide to walk down my street to find a cop and report this malfeascence.
So I 'm walking, confused how I can't find a single freaking cop in New Brunswick, seriously??? By the way, I realize this is absurd, but it's kind of funny for me, and I really do think the degree of perpendicularity would be a taboo in some cultures. As I walk past this bar, a girl greets me. And I'm like super chill "Hey :) How are you?" She then gives me a hug. I talk to her and her friend. I tell the girl, who is kind of Zoey Deschanel-esque that she's adorable. I explain my story, but she's quite drunk and doesn't get it initially. Her guy-friend comes out and he's awesome. Like a Jonah Hill type guy. Zoey gets pissed that I didn't agree that women should be able to vote. It was pretty hilarious to be honest. She tells me to fuck off and goes inside the bar. Her friends say its because she was drinking AND broke up with her boyfriend. I become attracted to this girl and I decide to stick it through. I go inside the bar and by my new friends a beer. She keeps telling me to fuck off, but it's almost cute when she says it. Eventually, I'm like "no..FUCK YOU. I 've only been kind to you and you've treated me like shit. And even then I still bought you a drink, because I see what you're going through"
I wasn't pissed when I said that, but I was more at ease. Since I didn't PLAN on this being a night out, I had 0 pressure. It's how it should ALWAYS be. She comes up to me, and she's totally looking at me as if she never saw me before. She lights up and begins opening up to me and being pretty cool. Her friends want to go outside, but she wants to stay and chill with me. I'm being mostly chill listening to her bullshit, and chirpsing in some "you're a lot cuter when you don't fucking talk about your bf " When her friends return, she wants to hang out with me outside in an effort to avoid them. We talk, she gets a smoke, and I feel like taking a walk (maybe the Stoop), but she's cogniscent that her friends would be pissed and I totally forgot about them in the moment. So I return back her friends come out, and they should join me for Karaoke on Wednesday and we'll see where it goes from there. She asked me if I could be her rebound, and I gave some ambiguous answer where I smirked and changed the topic.
Really cool series of events.
__________________
Awesome, awesome, awesome. Remember that vibe. That chillness, easiness. There are gonna be times when you lose it. DON'T "TRY" TO GET IT BACK. You have to remember where that feeling is coming from. It's coming from a place of NOT CARING ABOUT OUTCOME.
NOT GIVING A SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS. You just be you.
You just be you no matter what. You be you to the fucking hilt.
Glad our little talked has helped. ;)
NOT GIVING A SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS. You just be you.
You just be you no matter what. You be you to the fucking hilt.
Glad our little talked has helped. ;)
__________________
Julien's Hot Seat & Bootcamp Assistant 2013
AS89
Member
Join Date: 08/30/2009 | Posts: 80
Potential is bullshit. Everyone has potential. It's all about taking actions. I'm making myself accountable for my actions, as I account my actions in this ongoing blog.
It dawned upon me when I read in Brad's blog
"It’s been a while since you’ve been to your friend’s house, and you can’t remember the room number. You wrack your brain to recollect the correct floor, jump in the elevator, and head to the room you suspect is his.
When you go to open the door, you hear the rumblings of a huge party. There must be at least 30 people inside. The door is slightly ajar. You glance in, and realize none of the faces appear familiar.
Is this the right place?
You call him, text him, but no response.
After what feels like 20 minutes, waiting is no longer an option. As you take a step inside, everyone turns to stare. Your eyes dart about the room, looking for some sort of familiarity.
At least you’re in the right place, and you find your friend in the corner. He’s hosting an impromptu party. Organized by another friend, and neither of you know more than a handful of people.
Let’s jump in and have some fun!
Would you feel confident in this situation?"
And my answer was FUCK NO. Like I'm treading water, and just waiting for girls to throw themselves at me when I'm out as opposed to creating opportunities as opposed to being a DOER.
Anyway enough mental masturbation.
************ 8/31/11
It's the day before semester opens. I have wing dependency and I can't chill by myself at a bar and it makes me sick. I'm around a gaggle of cocks.
It's cool having friends, and I love my friends, but I realized I go out with a safety net.
I approach a cute blonde with her friend at Golden Rail and she's receptive. Unforunately I rush the interaction. I fucking TRY. eww. Nonetheless, she's sorta hooked, but her friend drags her away since I'm not attending to her. My buddy was talking to her, but then he sorta just spectated.
Whatever. It's Karaoke night. I sing Red Hot Chili Peppers Otherside to pump my state. lol.
I feel good and go to Olde Queens. I approach an Indian girl in a group. She's kind of introverted, and I approach with my fucking arms folded. But I also appraoch hesitant. The clarity of intent is not there. Anyway, she doesn't acknowledge me.
I then go back to Golden Rail, where I approach a chick with curly hair AS she's singing and try to do a duet. Looking back, I think that was cool what I did and actually demonstrated the existence of my testes. She kinda brushes me off, and I sorta HURR DURR after the song instead of following up with her.
Note- there were A LOT of hot girls, and I didn't approach enough. I need to just socialize and aimlessly meander as opposed to being so damn serious. I've been really serious/logical recently, and having fun is something that I need to do. This isn't hard. I just need to get over a couple roadblocks and get back into the thick of things. Smack dab in the middle.
Anyway, till the next blog. Manana.
Also wanna update this with gym, diet, and other shit. I wanna be a "conscious observer" of myself and not some passive faggot. So I'm gonna update this.