THE FORUMS
Yeah man thats still a big problem for me. Approaching girls in front of my friends/peers has become pretty easy, but I somehow want them to believe that its natural for me, that this is just how I am and I try to hide the fact that I worked for it, do workshops and read books. I guess its the next level to be 100% honest about this whole game stuff.
__________________
That BH girl wants your dick!
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@Timmilicious:
I even posted some more man to woman pics of me and some girls (like them kissing me on the cheek)...It has to be from expression, not putting pics of you and girls trying to impress others.
Like I said, i liked a lot of PU blogs on facebook. Posted some pics of my books (Eckhart Tolle, Nancy Friday, Get Laid or die trying, Health related books, travel related books, on being a man)...haven´t posted pics of self help books but i will do it, no shame, full unappologetic mode.
No more hiding. Complete honesty.
@Serpicoo: Yes, I know. I won´t disappoint her, I´ll make it happen.
Just got back from Krav Maga, got slapped in the face and punched in the stomach (not used to this) also we do some little cardio (push ups then abs with no rest). Gonna eat, nap for like 1-2 hours, shower and go out.
Going out everyday mode!
ChinaBoy
I even posted some more man to woman pics of me and some girls (like them kissing me on the cheek)...It has to be from expression, not putting pics of you and girls trying to impress others.
Like I said, i liked a lot of PU blogs on facebook. Posted some pics of my books (Eckhart Tolle, Nancy Friday, Get Laid or die trying, Health related books, travel related books, on being a man)...haven´t posted pics of self help books but i will do it, no shame, full unappologetic mode.
No more hiding. Complete honesty.
@Serpicoo: Yes, I know. I won´t disappoint her, I´ll make it happen.
Just got back from Krav Maga, got slapped in the face and punched in the stomach (not used to this) also we do some little cardio (push ups then abs with no rest). Gonna eat, nap for like 1-2 hours, shower and go out.
Going out everyday mode!
ChinaBoy
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haha, i knew you were going to have massive growth when you posted that list of realizations the other day!
haven't read everything, but i don't think i could add anything.
you are on the right path, it's just a matter of keeping it up and progressing on it.... (and don't forget to enjoy the walk -- gotta love the process!)
haven't read everything, but i don't think i could add anything.
you are on the right path, it's just a matter of keeping it up and progressing on it.... (and don't forget to enjoy the walk -- gotta love the process!)
__________________
wel heb ik je ooit!
@Markzor: Yes the realisations were awesome. Not fully cemented yet.
But the bootcamp helped a lot. A lot.
Now it´s less blowouts and more solid interactions.
22.9.2011 Night
So went out at 23:00. With 2 guys into PU and one guy. We go from club to club because most of them are empty (went to like 3 clubs). Then we go for a bite.
I do like 3 street approaches in a matter of 5 min. Before there were no girls to approach. Nothing hooked, one girl straight up ignored me (love it).
Didn´t felt like going ot the club, was actually a bit nervous.
Go to the club, immediatelly approach some girls. One girls is quite receptive, her friends are like meh, not receptive. Some highfives a few min conversation, didn´t wanted to fuck her. So i leave.
Then approach some more girls.
Hot salsa teacher, then shift into her blondie friend
Go to the dancefloor and approach this hot black haired chick dancing alone. "I love you" and hug, she´s into it. Intro. Some spinning around, grinding. She´s a salsa teacher and knows how to dance. Fucking hot. I try to kiss her, she pulls away and shows me the ring. I Ignore and keep going. Then she says "I am married". Did the spin and hug on her. She´s here only with her female friends. Lead her to the bar. Meet her friend.
The black haired salsa teacher is drunk, i do not like this. I shift into her blondie friend. She´s laughing and i am just looking at her (yes, i feel like Tyler). Some minor physicality. Try to spin hug but no go. She talks to some dude. I try to pull her to the dancefloor but she wants to stay with that dude.
After a while i see her again. She looks into me but then i try to spin and hug, no go. She says she doesn´t like to be picked up, only that guy can pick her up and goes to him. So i said fuck this and leave it.
Approached somem ore girls. Nothing really hooked.
Then I see 2 girls sitting down. It´s out of my comfort zone, cuz you gotta sit down and it´s a bit more complicated than if she´s standing. But i do it anyway. Developed a new method. Into. "I wanna show you the chinese introduction", pull her up by the hand, hug, 3 kisses. But then she sits down and is action cold and doesn´t even look at me so i wish them a good night.
Some more approaches.
Decide it´s time to leave. So i say last circle. I go around once again. See 2 chicks sitting down. Intro. then to her friend. Pull her from the chair. Hug. 3 Kisses. Some brief talk for like 2 min.
"I gotta go, gimme you FB." She puts it there. "Gimme you number" She puts it there. I forgot to call her immediatelly. Now i texted her "Get home safe, Ivi". Do not know yet if it´s a real number (cuz no signal in the club or something), looks real. Asked her if she´s gonna go out tommorow, yes, so i said that maybe we´ll see each other. EDIT: Just called her, it´s a fake number.
At this point i have approached like everything. Except like 1-2 couples and 1-2 mixed sets.
Conclusion:
-2 hours infield
-10-15 approaches
-Was quite chill after like 5-10 min in the club
Lessons:
-Do not forget to call the girl immediatelly after getting her number
-Weak nights (not many people out) are ok, just make sure that you make the most out of it and approach everything.
-Meditation is awesome, doing it everyday. Just getting into the zone. Before i really lacked focus while meditating. Now it helps me infield
-You are enough. Simple "Hey, I am Ivi" Will reinforce this mindset. That´s why no more beasting, you gotta reinforce this belief.
-Bulk up, so you won´t get resistance from girls for Spin Hug cause they think you can´t lift them
-Do not forget to apply Brad´s million dollar mouth piece. Just talk shit.
So this took like 30 min to write this. I want to go sleep. Maybe I´ll go for daygame also, but i think taking a nap will be a better idea.
ChinaBoy
But the bootcamp helped a lot. A lot.
Now it´s less blowouts and more solid interactions.
22.9.2011 Night
So went out at 23:00. With 2 guys into PU and one guy. We go from club to club because most of them are empty (went to like 3 clubs). Then we go for a bite.
I do like 3 street approaches in a matter of 5 min. Before there were no girls to approach. Nothing hooked, one girl straight up ignored me (love it).
Didn´t felt like going ot the club, was actually a bit nervous.
Go to the club, immediatelly approach some girls. One girls is quite receptive, her friends are like meh, not receptive. Some highfives a few min conversation, didn´t wanted to fuck her. So i leave.
Then approach some more girls.
Hot salsa teacher, then shift into her blondie friend
Go to the dancefloor and approach this hot black haired chick dancing alone. "I love you" and hug, she´s into it. Intro. Some spinning around, grinding. She´s a salsa teacher and knows how to dance. Fucking hot. I try to kiss her, she pulls away and shows me the ring. I Ignore and keep going. Then she says "I am married". Did the spin and hug on her. She´s here only with her female friends. Lead her to the bar. Meet her friend.
The black haired salsa teacher is drunk, i do not like this. I shift into her blondie friend. She´s laughing and i am just looking at her (yes, i feel like Tyler). Some minor physicality. Try to spin hug but no go. She talks to some dude. I try to pull her to the dancefloor but she wants to stay with that dude.
After a while i see her again. She looks into me but then i try to spin and hug, no go. She says she doesn´t like to be picked up, only that guy can pick her up and goes to him. So i said fuck this and leave it.
Approached somem ore girls. Nothing really hooked.
Then I see 2 girls sitting down. It´s out of my comfort zone, cuz you gotta sit down and it´s a bit more complicated than if she´s standing. But i do it anyway. Developed a new method. Into. "I wanna show you the chinese introduction", pull her up by the hand, hug, 3 kisses. But then she sits down and is action cold and doesn´t even look at me so i wish them a good night.
Some more approaches.
Decide it´s time to leave. So i say last circle. I go around once again. See 2 chicks sitting down. Intro. then to her friend. Pull her from the chair. Hug. 3 Kisses. Some brief talk for like 2 min.
"I gotta go, gimme you FB." She puts it there. "Gimme you number" She puts it there. I forgot to call her immediatelly. Now i texted her "Get home safe, Ivi". Do not know yet if it´s a real number (cuz no signal in the club or something), looks real. Asked her if she´s gonna go out tommorow, yes, so i said that maybe we´ll see each other. EDIT: Just called her, it´s a fake number.
At this point i have approached like everything. Except like 1-2 couples and 1-2 mixed sets.
Conclusion:
-2 hours infield
-10-15 approaches
-Was quite chill after like 5-10 min in the club
Lessons:
-Do not forget to call the girl immediatelly after getting her number
-Weak nights (not many people out) are ok, just make sure that you make the most out of it and approach everything.
-Meditation is awesome, doing it everyday. Just getting into the zone. Before i really lacked focus while meditating. Now it helps me infield
-You are enough. Simple "Hey, I am Ivi" Will reinforce this mindset. That´s why no more beasting, you gotta reinforce this belief.
-Bulk up, so you won´t get resistance from girls for Spin Hug cause they think you can´t lift them
-Do not forget to apply Brad´s million dollar mouth piece. Just talk shit.
So this took like 30 min to write this. I want to go sleep. Maybe I´ll go for daygame also, but i think taking a nap will be a better idea.
ChinaBoy
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u inspired me to write my goals for 2day
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My FR/LR Journal
"I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.” ~Little Engine That Could
My food blog
Abundance
"I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.” ~Little Engine That Could
My food blog
Abundance
@LoveHandle: Awesome! Glad that I had inpact on you.
www.rsdnation.com/node/109102
Looool. This is me 2 years ago, I was quite ballsy at that time for a complete newbie. Beast mode times.
ChinaBoy
www.rsdnation.com/node/109102
Looool. This is me 2 years ago, I was quite ballsy at that time for a complete newbie. Beast mode times.
ChinaBoy
__________________
23.9.2011 Night
So i have a cold. Runny nose and cough. Went out at 23:00 with 1 friend.
Go again to 2faces. Approach some girls, having longer conversations than before. Not getting harsh blowouts (I used to get them for my over agressiveness).
Butthurt ChinaBoy
Then talk woth my buddy. See 2 girls at the bar. Approach them, immediately after i finish introducing myself my friend comes in. I can literally see how their focus shift to him. I talk to the brunette, some high fives. Then some non receptivenes and excuses herself and goes to her friend. I just leave him there. Those 2 girls were into him, this was so obvious.
Then I talked to the other friend i met in the club, while feeling butthurt that the girls like him and blew me off. This fucked up my mood.
So i went down to meet some girls. Well, i was feeling butthurt and the girls could feel it too. So i just got blown out. After a while i forgot about it and got less blowouts.
2 Russian chicks
See 2 chicks sitting down. I go up. Intro. Get one of them to stand up and hug her and 3 kisses. Talk to the brunette, she seems receptive. The blonde is talking to my friend and it looks like she doesn´t like him. I try to isolate her after some kino and talking. No go. Then they go away. After a while the blonde comes up to me asking where my friend is (i was like WTF? this kid is on fire).
Then run up to them several times in the club, some brief talk etc.
2 girls that went to the club alone and met each other there
See 2 seated girls. Intro. They look not receptive. I sit down with them and they start to be more receptive.
At the beginning they seemed attracted to me. I tried to isolate the blondie. No go. Then it starts to go downhill. The blondie goes away, i talk to the brunnette with chode talk, she seems really disinterested.
Later i see the blondie. Talk to her. Her friend is going home. I ask her if she´s here alone. She says "yes". I was like DINGDINGDING. I try to isolate her. No go, she has to wait for her friend. Then i bounced. This was a crucial mistake. Cuz later when i saw her again my friend was talking to her. Then he danced with her, made out with her. She wanted to fuck. He somehow didn´t knew what to do and went to the toilet and sent the girl home.
I see him. Talk to him. He tells me he sent her home. So i told him i am gonna go after her, he´s ok with it. I run out of the club, look around, but couldn´t find her. Fuck.
He told me that both girls went out alone to the club and met each other in the club. They went there to fuck. If a girl goes to a club alone, she wants to fuck. Period.
Confused ChinaBoy
Approach a girl in a big grop of one girl and few guys. We talk. Some physicality. I show her some high fives. Looks interested but not receptive. Try to isolate her a few times. No go. Thruout the night i see a a few times. She tells me she has a BF. We talk, i try to isolate her, no go. Then she kisses me on the cheek to try to make her BF jealous and saying to his BF that he´s jealous. He didn´t took any action, i think he didn´t cared. Also when i went by she touched my face to get my attention and to talk to her.
Slovak girl
Approach 2 girls and a guy. They were sitting. I get my target to stand up, hug, kisses on the cheek + peck on the lips etc. She seems to be into me. I isolate her. Talk. "You are gonna be my GF for tonight" "Then she starts to shit test me: "you told the truth, you just want to fund somebody for tonight to fuck", more garbage i ignore that shit. But she still is going away. Waving me the "go away" goodbye. So i leave.
Then i run up to her several times. Most of the times she wasn´t receptive, not even looking at me. Then i saw her once again, isolated her to the bar, then to a couch. Talk. Got her FB, no number (something like she doesn´t have a czech number yet, whateva).
Then i approach some more. Nothing is really hooking. I am getting frustrated, cuz nothing is hooking, not much girls were left to approach. So i approached some girls like 2x.
Then go to dancefloor.
Spanish group
Approach this spanish girl. She doesn´t want to hug but laughs incotrollably. We talk, high five, then hug, 3 kisses. She likes me, but i feel like she likes me as a friend. Her friends also like me. Then after a while i switch targets to another girl (this one has a BF). I was physical with them, but still i felt it was friend to friend and that the spanish are so used to physicality.
Epic fail
Some french guy approaches me. We talk. I ask him about their friends, girls. They introduce me to some girls, we talk, but they are not interested in my sexually. We are sitting near the dancefloor and i notice this hot chick grinding on a guy staring at me. So i half assedly talk to the french chicks while i look at her. She´s staring at me from time to time. Then as i was getting FBs from those french chicks she does the come her gesture.
I walked around. Didn´t wanted to approach her while she´s grinding on a guy. Talk to some people and then i see her split up with the guy. She goes to the bar so i follow her there (catch up). Intro. Hug, 3 kisses, 1 peck on the lips.
"Well the 4th kiss was addional, that´s not chinese tradition"
She pushes me away. Shit test. Then we talk.
"Are you trying to pick me up?"
"Honestly, yes"
"Then you gotta find another girls cuz i have to take care of my friends"
We talk more. Try to spin hug her, no go. "You are like half my bodyweight". Yes, bulk up man.
I am more calibrated now. I am not all pull and no push. I sometimes back off a little bit, chill a bit not always on her grill.
Then i isolate her to a quiter area. Then she goes away to talk to her friends (1 female friend, 1 guy, 1 guy who was grinding with her).
At the end of the night I see her again. Talk, she´s leaving country in 1 week. Didn´t got her number nor facebook. She told me she´s where with her friend and those guys. Well, i gave up and say goodbye, hug, kisses, peck on the lips. Now i am thinking WTF? fuck this, make the pull happen. Pulling is messy.
Epic fail on the street
Then went with my friend out of the club. He went home, i say hi and turn 180 degree and see a girl on the street. Immediatelly start walking up to her, like zero reaction time. Go up to her real chill. "Hey" pause "I am Ivi".
She kinda walks away, says her name and shakes my hand and goes her way, i keep talking, she comes a bit towards me. I go up to her. Tell her about the "chinese introduction". Not receptive to hugging/kissing on the cheek. Then she says that she has a BF. I kinda give up after the non receptivity and the BF shit. Now i think that i did a big mistake, she was alone. Fuck non receptiveness it can come by time. Just talk to her and try to pull her.
BTW: I live in the heart of the city center. So fucken awesome. The clubs are like few/several minutes of walk. I go in front of my house but say fuck it let´s do more street. I go to the main square, there´s literarely no girl, so i go home. Got back at 5:30.
Conclusion:
-6,5 hours infield
-Some fbs, 1 number
-2 pecks on the lips
-Got blown out, but i don´t even remember them.
-15-20 approaches (i literarely approached almost everything there)
Lessons:
-Doesn´t matter if you have shitty night all night. Cuz you can have shitty night and then at the end pull.
-Make friends in the club, so you don´t feel abandoned when your friends is in a set doing well why you have nothing that hooked.
-Girls who go to the club alone go there to get laid. To get laid the same night (SNL).
-You give up too early. Fuck non receptiveness, stay there, let it be awkward.
-Make the pull happen. Do everything you can to make the pull happen. Pulling is messy.
-It´s all about being relaxed. Relaxed arousal.
-Approach invitations: Staring/close proximity. Well this girl went more extreme by gesturing me to come to her.
-Alex´s style is the shit. I am not annoying/allienating people and getting people pissed of because i had this bad vibe.
Fuck. It´s 6:30 AM. This took 1 hour to write. Gonna go to bed and sleep. Went home with a smile, smilling at my ridiculousness, cuz i still wanted to do streetgame but there were no girls.
ChinaBoy
So i have a cold. Runny nose and cough. Went out at 23:00 with 1 friend.
Go again to 2faces. Approach some girls, having longer conversations than before. Not getting harsh blowouts (I used to get them for my over agressiveness).
Butthurt ChinaBoy
Then talk woth my buddy. See 2 girls at the bar. Approach them, immediately after i finish introducing myself my friend comes in. I can literally see how their focus shift to him. I talk to the brunette, some high fives. Then some non receptivenes and excuses herself and goes to her friend. I just leave him there. Those 2 girls were into him, this was so obvious.
Then I talked to the other friend i met in the club, while feeling butthurt that the girls like him and blew me off. This fucked up my mood.
So i went down to meet some girls. Well, i was feeling butthurt and the girls could feel it too. So i just got blown out. After a while i forgot about it and got less blowouts.
2 Russian chicks
See 2 chicks sitting down. I go up. Intro. Get one of them to stand up and hug her and 3 kisses. Talk to the brunette, she seems receptive. The blonde is talking to my friend and it looks like she doesn´t like him. I try to isolate her after some kino and talking. No go. Then they go away. After a while the blonde comes up to me asking where my friend is (i was like WTF? this kid is on fire).
Then run up to them several times in the club, some brief talk etc.
2 girls that went to the club alone and met each other there
See 2 seated girls. Intro. They look not receptive. I sit down with them and they start to be more receptive.
At the beginning they seemed attracted to me. I tried to isolate the blondie. No go. Then it starts to go downhill. The blondie goes away, i talk to the brunnette with chode talk, she seems really disinterested.
Later i see the blondie. Talk to her. Her friend is going home. I ask her if she´s here alone. She says "yes". I was like DINGDINGDING. I try to isolate her. No go, she has to wait for her friend. Then i bounced. This was a crucial mistake. Cuz later when i saw her again my friend was talking to her. Then he danced with her, made out with her. She wanted to fuck. He somehow didn´t knew what to do and went to the toilet and sent the girl home.
I see him. Talk to him. He tells me he sent her home. So i told him i am gonna go after her, he´s ok with it. I run out of the club, look around, but couldn´t find her. Fuck.
He told me that both girls went out alone to the club and met each other in the club. They went there to fuck. If a girl goes to a club alone, she wants to fuck. Period.
Confused ChinaBoy
Approach a girl in a big grop of one girl and few guys. We talk. Some physicality. I show her some high fives. Looks interested but not receptive. Try to isolate her a few times. No go. Thruout the night i see a a few times. She tells me she has a BF. We talk, i try to isolate her, no go. Then she kisses me on the cheek to try to make her BF jealous and saying to his BF that he´s jealous. He didn´t took any action, i think he didn´t cared. Also when i went by she touched my face to get my attention and to talk to her.
Slovak girl
Approach 2 girls and a guy. They were sitting. I get my target to stand up, hug, kisses on the cheek + peck on the lips etc. She seems to be into me. I isolate her. Talk. "You are gonna be my GF for tonight" "Then she starts to shit test me: "you told the truth, you just want to fund somebody for tonight to fuck", more garbage i ignore that shit. But she still is going away. Waving me the "go away" goodbye. So i leave.
Then i run up to her several times. Most of the times she wasn´t receptive, not even looking at me. Then i saw her once again, isolated her to the bar, then to a couch. Talk. Got her FB, no number (something like she doesn´t have a czech number yet, whateva).
Then i approach some more. Nothing is really hooking. I am getting frustrated, cuz nothing is hooking, not much girls were left to approach. So i approached some girls like 2x.
Then go to dancefloor.
Spanish group
Approach this spanish girl. She doesn´t want to hug but laughs incotrollably. We talk, high five, then hug, 3 kisses. She likes me, but i feel like she likes me as a friend. Her friends also like me. Then after a while i switch targets to another girl (this one has a BF). I was physical with them, but still i felt it was friend to friend and that the spanish are so used to physicality.
Epic fail
Some french guy approaches me. We talk. I ask him about their friends, girls. They introduce me to some girls, we talk, but they are not interested in my sexually. We are sitting near the dancefloor and i notice this hot chick grinding on a guy staring at me. So i half assedly talk to the french chicks while i look at her. She´s staring at me from time to time. Then as i was getting FBs from those french chicks she does the come her gesture.
I walked around. Didn´t wanted to approach her while she´s grinding on a guy. Talk to some people and then i see her split up with the guy. She goes to the bar so i follow her there (catch up). Intro. Hug, 3 kisses, 1 peck on the lips.
"Well the 4th kiss was addional, that´s not chinese tradition"
She pushes me away. Shit test. Then we talk.
"Are you trying to pick me up?"
"Honestly, yes"
"Then you gotta find another girls cuz i have to take care of my friends"
We talk more. Try to spin hug her, no go. "You are like half my bodyweight". Yes, bulk up man.
I am more calibrated now. I am not all pull and no push. I sometimes back off a little bit, chill a bit not always on her grill.
Then i isolate her to a quiter area. Then she goes away to talk to her friends (1 female friend, 1 guy, 1 guy who was grinding with her).
At the end of the night I see her again. Talk, she´s leaving country in 1 week. Didn´t got her number nor facebook. She told me she´s where with her friend and those guys. Well, i gave up and say goodbye, hug, kisses, peck on the lips. Now i am thinking WTF? fuck this, make the pull happen. Pulling is messy.
Epic fail on the street
Then went with my friend out of the club. He went home, i say hi and turn 180 degree and see a girl on the street. Immediatelly start walking up to her, like zero reaction time. Go up to her real chill. "Hey" pause "I am Ivi".
She kinda walks away, says her name and shakes my hand and goes her way, i keep talking, she comes a bit towards me. I go up to her. Tell her about the "chinese introduction". Not receptive to hugging/kissing on the cheek. Then she says that she has a BF. I kinda give up after the non receptivity and the BF shit. Now i think that i did a big mistake, she was alone. Fuck non receptiveness it can come by time. Just talk to her and try to pull her.
BTW: I live in the heart of the city center. So fucken awesome. The clubs are like few/several minutes of walk. I go in front of my house but say fuck it let´s do more street. I go to the main square, there´s literarely no girl, so i go home. Got back at 5:30.
Conclusion:
-6,5 hours infield
-Some fbs, 1 number
-2 pecks on the lips
-Got blown out, but i don´t even remember them.
-15-20 approaches (i literarely approached almost everything there)
Lessons:
-Doesn´t matter if you have shitty night all night. Cuz you can have shitty night and then at the end pull.
-Make friends in the club, so you don´t feel abandoned when your friends is in a set doing well why you have nothing that hooked.
-Girls who go to the club alone go there to get laid. To get laid the same night (SNL).
-You give up too early. Fuck non receptiveness, stay there, let it be awkward.
-Make the pull happen. Do everything you can to make the pull happen. Pulling is messy.
-It´s all about being relaxed. Relaxed arousal.
-Approach invitations: Staring/close proximity. Well this girl went more extreme by gesturing me to come to her.
-Alex´s style is the shit. I am not annoying/allienating people and getting people pissed of because i had this bad vibe.
Fuck. It´s 6:30 AM. This took 1 hour to write. Gonna go to bed and sleep. Went home with a smile, smilling at my ridiculousness, cuz i still wanted to do streetgame but there were no girls.
ChinaBoy
__________________
"Then you gotta find another girls cuz i have to take care of my friends"
Depends on her non-verbal communication, but I would view this as an honest statement, and move on (screening).
"Then she says that she has a BF"
This is a typical blow-off. Just plow trough and remain unaffected. Can be hard if you are in a "i am going to pick her up" mindset. But is is easy if you *genuinely* think: "allright, we are just having fun in the moment".
It's like you say: "Sure your BF allows you to talk to strangers?" and you mean it.
If a girl is into you and she has a BF, she won't mention it. Usually, they are the "hahaha.. but no"-type.
They enjoy the attention/validation/good time, but they won't go any further. You can often recognize this by resisting your lead. As soon as they lose control (i.e. don't lead the interaction) they freak out because they realize the imminent danger of getting fucked.
Although... a girl might mention her BF, so you know the social dynamics. Which means, be very discrete (especially if her BF is in the bar too). Don't let her friends think you are picking her up, because they'll drag her away (and she'll play along because she doesn't want to be a slut). So no tacky make-outs, just "invisible" game: Fun + Physical = Flirty.
Anyway, you always have the choice: Screen (next girl) -or- plow trough.
You can learn from plowing trough, but you can also waste time.
You can make things easier by screening harder, but you can also waste great oppertunities.
It's all about finding the right balance!
~~~
you know what has really helped me personally lately?
they have all this talk like:
"stop perfectionism"
"the game is messy"
"let it be akward - overcome akwardness"
and then you have these feelings
- feeling butthurt
- frustrated
these feelings, especially frustration, are in essence your own negativity holding you back.
they arise from doubting yourself and giving up, rather than trusting yourself and remaining positive.
you can practice this (especially since you are more aware of your thoughts thanks to meditation)
before you feel frustrated, you have this little doubts and negative thoughts. if you spot them, you can stop them.
i.e.
"blow out after blow out, this is going to be a horrible night!" --> No, you never know what is going to happen. Trust that everything is going to be allright.
"shit, i failed the test" --> No, by fucking up you created the oppertunity to prove yourself to be even more awesome
"oh no, this is akward" --> Hell yeah, let's see much I can succeed with things being this akward! This challange is bound to destroy some limiting beliefs!
"i should have escalated" --> No, you are being "mysterious" and hard-to-get, which amplifies the tension.
The trick is to stop being judgemental/unhappy/negative about what has been done, yet remain action-taking in the present moment.
the "i am mysterious" for not escalating is good if that eliminates negativity and judgemental attitude...
... but it works against you if you walk around the club expecting things to happen (i.e. lazy, arrogant, prevents you from taking action).
these little mantra's go hand-in-hand with "I am enough":
- "I trust the world that it gives me oppertunities, and I trust myself that I take an oppertunity when I see one"
this one gives you patience and trust, no need to "get instant results" and be anxious. At the same time, you are ready to take action, so you won't become passive.
- "Everything is going EXACTLY as it should go"
this helps you identify and eliminate negativity/judgemental attitude about the past. No more "I should have escalated" self-pity judgemental bullshit that makes you GIVE UP... now you correct: "That happened EXACTLY as it should go. I am probably more mysterious now...! But she must know I am interested, so time to make my move".
Depends on her non-verbal communication, but I would view this as an honest statement, and move on (screening).
"Then she says that she has a BF"
This is a typical blow-off. Just plow trough and remain unaffected. Can be hard if you are in a "i am going to pick her up" mindset. But is is easy if you *genuinely* think: "allright, we are just having fun in the moment".
It's like you say: "Sure your BF allows you to talk to strangers?" and you mean it.
If a girl is into you and she has a BF, she won't mention it. Usually, they are the "hahaha.. but no"-type.
They enjoy the attention/validation/good time, but they won't go any further. You can often recognize this by resisting your lead. As soon as they lose control (i.e. don't lead the interaction) they freak out because they realize the imminent danger of getting fucked.
Although... a girl might mention her BF, so you know the social dynamics. Which means, be very discrete (especially if her BF is in the bar too). Don't let her friends think you are picking her up, because they'll drag her away (and she'll play along because she doesn't want to be a slut). So no tacky make-outs, just "invisible" game: Fun + Physical = Flirty.
Anyway, you always have the choice: Screen (next girl) -or- plow trough.
You can learn from plowing trough, but you can also waste time.
You can make things easier by screening harder, but you can also waste great oppertunities.
It's all about finding the right balance!
~~~
you know what has really helped me personally lately?
they have all this talk like:
"stop perfectionism"
"the game is messy"
"let it be akward - overcome akwardness"
and then you have these feelings
- feeling butthurt
- frustrated
these feelings, especially frustration, are in essence your own negativity holding you back.
they arise from doubting yourself and giving up, rather than trusting yourself and remaining positive.
you can practice this (especially since you are more aware of your thoughts thanks to meditation)
before you feel frustrated, you have this little doubts and negative thoughts. if you spot them, you can stop them.
i.e.
"blow out after blow out, this is going to be a horrible night!" --> No, you never know what is going to happen. Trust that everything is going to be allright.
"shit, i failed the test" --> No, by fucking up you created the oppertunity to prove yourself to be even more awesome
"oh no, this is akward" --> Hell yeah, let's see much I can succeed with things being this akward! This challange is bound to destroy some limiting beliefs!
"i should have escalated" --> No, you are being "mysterious" and hard-to-get, which amplifies the tension.
The trick is to stop being judgemental/unhappy/negative about what has been done, yet remain action-taking in the present moment.
the "i am mysterious" for not escalating is good if that eliminates negativity and judgemental attitude...
... but it works against you if you walk around the club expecting things to happen (i.e. lazy, arrogant, prevents you from taking action).
these little mantra's go hand-in-hand with "I am enough":
- "I trust the world that it gives me oppertunities, and I trust myself that I take an oppertunity when I see one"
this one gives you patience and trust, no need to "get instant results" and be anxious. At the same time, you are ready to take action, so you won't become passive.
- "Everything is going EXACTLY as it should go"
this helps you identify and eliminate negativity/judgemental attitude about the past. No more "I should have escalated" self-pity judgemental bullshit that makes you GIVE UP... now you correct: "That happened EXACTLY as it should go. I am probably more mysterious now...! But she must know I am interested, so time to make my move".
__________________
wel heb ik je ooit!
ChinaBoy~
Trusted Member
Join Date: 02/20/2009 | Posts: 1828
I used to try to hide the PUA stuff...Not anymore.
Liked a lot of PU blogs etc.
Full expression. I do not give a fuck.
Internet game is all about full expression. Facebook is gonna be the same, although i won´t use it to meet new girls. I like to have it so girls can know more about me (may help with the day2).
ChinaBoy