THE FORUMS

October 23rd, 2018
ChinaBoy~ 1.0
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Distant Light

Distant Light

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 2390

Man o man, I wish my computer was up to post my "final" community post... (Haven't posted much lately cause I'm essentially highly turned off by community belief systems)

Your biggest problem is you have ZERO RESPECT for yourself. You clearly don't see yourself as a valuable commodity and "community" culture will forever keep you in a state of TRYING. Just because you got "what you do" down doesn't mean you actually know "why". As of right now everything your doing technique wise is done because its supposedly going to lead to a LAY. The foundation of your reality is TRYING TO GET LAID. Its such a weak, scarce, reactive and inconsistent viewpoint.

Just BE a fascinating man living life who attracts women in general and selects the one (or ones) who peak his interest the most. This is the ONLY WAY you will see consistency. So what qualities do I mean...

1. A Man Of Value Is Given In Abundance
YOU ARE ATTRACTION, never forget that. Nothing you do will ever consistently draw women to you. Its how you are, your character/presence/vibe/aura that is drawing people to you.

I personally give two fucks about body language or tonality because "Why I do what I do" or "How I am" is consistent so the congruent actions/techniques will pop up. Game is just self discovery or self awareness as new CONGRUENT actions/techniques spontaneously popup.

2. Becoming A Fascinating Man
This is the ONLY aspects you will need to ever focus on in order to CONSISTENTLY have more options than you can ever handle. Of course this is 100% personal self discovery which will take time...

"What is your criteria?" - Only a man who lives in scarcity will take what he can get. What does the women you want in your life look like? How are they when you interact with them? How do they treat you? What keeps you interested in them? Just because she is hot with long legs, nice tits and a gorgeous face DOES NOT MEAN SHIT. In 1654, there were some chicks just as hot. Hot women are going no where. If you went to a model casting there would be 100+ hot women, how the hell would you know which ones to choose.

"Are YOU interested?" When you go around interacting people always go up seeing if she peaks your interest and comes close to your "ideal" criteria. If she is way off the mark, let her go. If she doesn't even perceive your value to even know to CHASE YOU, let it go. This isn't your opportunity, its hers. Her being interested is FUCKING IRRELEVANT because regardless she has to make you interested in her.

"What are your boundaries?" This is what will SAVE YOUR FUCKING ASS 100% OF THE TIME. There are certain things that should cause you to assert your boundaries or atleast assert that you are willing to walk away even if she was naked in her bed fingering herself. This is what helps you filter and sift through everything efficiently without wasting your time or energy. A chick trying to win you over doesn't want to raise red flags so she will CALIBRATE to YOU because SHE IS TRYING TO WIN YOU OVER.

ONLY RULE: "Give her the opportunity to win you over" - You don't have to be direct or even let her know your interested, just give her the chance and space to figure you out. Everything is for YOU to be seduce by her. Even when you are pulling its just an excuse.

So when you roll into a venue just having fun meeting women there is NO DOWNSIDE to any interaction because your not TRYING ANYTHING. As you "short set" the room you find women who peak your interest, some peaking your interest more than others. They are all trying to win you over so if you LEAD THEM by giving them an excuse they will either run with it or not. ATLEAST YOU KNOW AND DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME...
- Kiss, inches from her face jokingly saying ("You know its ok...You can kiss me if you want, I just might kiss back")
- Pull, "Yo, 5mins were rolling to your place" then walk off talking to other girls. Remember this is her opportunity NOT YOURS if she wants to get pulled her ass will make sure some other chick don't fuck up this opportunity.

3. Having a life that you can bring people into
I always used to give my friend shit that even if he had a gf he had NO LIFE at all. There wasn't nothing he actually did in his life that he genuinely enjoyed because all he did was pickup.

My dumbass was so unaware that due to me simply focusing on living/creating my life was what made the process of women meeting me and trying to hookup so easy. If any community guy TRYING TO GET GOOD was to see me go about all this they would be annoyed and say I have zero game because I'm not doing much but so many possibilities are present. (Past 10 times out was in a rather ideal situation 8 of those times. Not even one night have I even proactively create opportunities

In the end...
What turned me off was a situation where I reverted back to a "community dude" for a split second and it was such a SAD FRAME OF MIND. Keep in mind, EVERY NIGHT I ended up with a woman trying to figure out a place we could simply hookup. (2 of those times I mightve been blackout drunk, as a bouncer told me I pulled a chick with huge tits and played back my vid cam to notice me with a chick)

All I was doing was just SHOWING UP as I finally simply grabbed my balls and took responsibility for everything that happens in my world. The probability of me fooling around with atleast woman is 99%. Its abit deeper but waitng for computer to fix to post "final" post.

P.S...keep going the route your going an it will be nothing but inconsistency

P.S.S...This shit has been so easy because any chicks who don't make the cut or simply is prolonging shit I FRIEND ZONE. They still want me but I am done with them, I go out way too much to waste my time. This has made all my interactions very solid since its either they'll continue chasing til I'm ready or I friend zone them causing them to want me more.
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Enigma

Member

Join Date: 02/05/2007 | Posts: 31

Did you ever consider videoing your approaches and watching the video afterwards? You might be surprised about how different you actually are from the way you imagine being. If you want you could post the videos here so we could give you feedback. There are two keys to expertise: practice & feedback, I think you might need more of the latter.

ChinaBoy~ wrote:
I opt for the 1st option...the bus arrives and she says she has to go and starts leaving, I go for the number, nope denied. This made me feel very down. Wow, usually single blowouts do not affect me as I am not emotionally invested...but this left me thinking this "I did everything right, charismatic, expressive, emotional, fun....and it didn´t work" "lame, this is the kind of girl i am into and it didn´t worked out"


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Enigma

Member

Join Date: 02/05/2007 | Posts: 31

> Also thinking about giving up going to college...But if I do that, then I am on my own...no financial support from parents.

I think college is a waste of time and money and only justified in some rare instances. What do you want to study? Nowadays you can learn most things better by books & internet.
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CBAABC

Trusted Member

Join Date: 02/20/2009 | Posts: 1692

 @Distant light: thanks very usefull and you are spot on.

Today I was joking with my friend, talking about sexual stuff, told her: "what are you doing later tonight? we should drink some wine...at my place" later she was like "sooo are we going to drink some wine" I realised what I have just done....and removed all flirtatious and sexual comments...durrr what I was thinking, no I do not want to fuck her, yep she´s out of my league. Why talking to her is sooo effortless and I am being myself is because I don´t put her on a pedestal as I do it with other people...

Putting other people on pedestal and not realising my own value...this came from my early childhood, constantly reinforced by my parents to be generous in a supplicating way.

@tastycurry: Hey, thanks dude...always reminding me and pointing stuff out.

Not drinking is not the main issue...I should be more social in general. I always use time as an excuse...but the real reason is that I kinda avoid being social just for fun.

@Enigma: thinking about that, hehehe. SimplePickup style.I think a video camera would be an awesome thing for travel and PU footage.

Hehe...I DO NOT live in the US....Europe>USA tounge

College education is FREE in the Czech Republic. I see the big upside of college parties, opportunities to meet a shit ton of people, build a social circle, become more social, etc...

The only downside is I gotta study hard, I am a pretty smart guy, but way too lazy to study.

ChinaBoy
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Flaming0.O

Flaming0.O

Senior Member

Join Date: 11/12/2011 | Posts: 222

ChinaBoy~ wrote:
@Flamingo: Actually before I was really sloppy and I am thinking about bringing focus...something Tyler recommended (like 1 month to focus on rapport, another month to focus on another thing etc), also Alex recommended this.

Before I was pretty sloppy...Like I´d just approach and approach.
I think this is an advice for guys that are in a different headspace than you. Your problem is that you do something FUNDAMENTALLY wrong, but somehow it's really hard to discover what it is.

When you approach a girl, CAN YOU FEEL she gets a "spark of how awesome you are" and that she is excited to meet you?
Focusing on feelings instead of the "hard assets of the game" might help you. Being completly oblivious of your own actions and centering yourself on her emotional and verbal answers. Measuring her emotional state at any infinitly small space of time. I talk about chemistry. Is this the missing part? Think about it.
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BKW

Respected Member

Join Date: 02/21/2012 | Posts: 987

Distant Light wrote:
Man o man, I wish my computer was up to post my "final" community post... (Haven't posted much lately cause I'm essentially highly turned off by community belief systems)

Your biggest problem is you have ZERO RESPECT for yourself. You clearly don't see yourself as a valuable commodity and "community" culture will forever keep you in a state of TRYING. Just because you got "what you do" down doesn't mean you actually know "why". As of right now everything your doing technique wise is done because its supposedly going to lead to a LAY. The foundation of your reality is TRYING TO GET LAID. Its such a weak, scarce, reactive and inconsistent viewpoint.

Just BE a fascinating man living life who attracts women in general and selects the one (or ones) who peak his interest the most. This is the ONLY WAY you will see consistency. So what qualities do I mean...

1. A Man Of Value Is Given In Abundance
YOU ARE ATTRACTION, never forget that. Nothing you do will ever consistently draw women to you. Its how you are, your character/presence/vibe/aura that is drawing people to you.

I personally give two fucks about body language or tonality because "Why I do what I do" or "How I am" is consistent so the congruent actions/techniques will pop up. Game is just self discovery or self awareness as new CONGRUENT actions/techniques spontaneously popup.

2. Becoming A Fascinating Man
This is the ONLY aspects you will need to ever focus on in order to CONSISTENTLY have more options than you can ever handle. Of course this is 100% personal self discovery which will take time...

"What is your criteria?" - Only a man who lives in scarcity will take what he can get. What does the women you want in your life look like? How are they when you interact with them? How do they treat you? What keeps you interested in them? Just because she is hot with long legs, nice tits and a gorgeous face DOES NOT MEAN SHIT. In 1654, there were some chicks just as hot. Hot women are going no where. If you went to a model casting there would be 100+ hot women, how the hell would you know which ones to choose.

"Are YOU interested?" When you go around interacting people always go up seeing if she peaks your interest and comes close to your "ideal" criteria. If she is way off the mark, let her go. If she doesn't even perceive your value to even know to CHASE YOU, let it go. This isn't your opportunity, its hers. Her being interested is FUCKING IRRELEVANT because regardless she has to make you interested in her.

"What are your boundaries?" This is what will SAVE YOUR FUCKING ASS 100% OF THE TIME. There are certain things that should cause you to assert your boundaries or atleast assert that you are willing to walk away even if she was naked in her bed fingering herself. This is what helps you filter and sift through everything efficiently without wasting your time or energy. A chick trying to win you over doesn't want to raise red flags so she will CALIBRATE to YOU because SHE IS TRYING TO WIN YOU OVER.

ONLY RULE: "Give her the opportunity to win you over" - You don't have to be direct or even let her know your interested, just give her the chance and space to figure you out. Everything is for YOU to be seduce by her. Even when you are pulling its just an excuse.

So when you roll into a venue just having fun meeting women there is NO DOWNSIDE to any interaction because your not TRYING ANYTHING. As you "short set" the room you find women who peak your interest, some peaking your interest more than others. They are all trying to win you over so if you LEAD THEM by giving them an excuse they will either run with it or not. ATLEAST YOU KNOW AND DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME...
- Kiss, inches from her face jokingly saying ("You know its ok...You can kiss me if you want, I just might kiss back")
- Pull, "Yo, 5mins were rolling to your place" then walk off talking to other girls. Remember this is her opportunity NOT YOURS if she wants to get pulled her ass will make sure some other chick don't fuck up this opportunity.

3. Having a life that you can bring people into
I always used to give my friend shit that even if he had a gf he had NO LIFE at all. There wasn't nothing he actually did in his life that he genuinely enjoyed because all he did was pickup.

My dumbass was so unaware that due to me simply focusing on living/creating my life was what made the process of women meeting me and trying to hookup so easy. If any community guy TRYING TO GET GOOD was to see me go about all this they would be annoyed and say I have zero game because I'm not doing much but so many possibilities are present. (Past 10 times out was in a rather ideal situation 8 of those times. Not even one night have I even proactively create opportunities

In the end...
What turned me off was a situation where I reverted back to a "community dude" for a split second and it was such a SAD FRAME OF MIND. Keep in mind, EVERY NIGHT I ended up with a woman trying to figure out a place we could simply hookup. (2 of those times I mightve been blackout drunk, as a bouncer told me I pulled a chick with huge tits and played back my vid cam to notice me with a chick)

All I was doing was just SHOWING UP as I finally simply grabbed my balls and took responsibility for everything that happens in my world. The probability of me fooling around with atleast woman is 99%. Its abit deeper but waitng for computer to fix to post "final" post.

P.S...keep going the route your going an it will be nothing but inconsistency

P.S.S...This shit has been so easy because any chicks who don't make the cut or simply is prolonging shit I FRIEND ZONE. They still want me but I am done with them, I go out way too much to waste my time. This has made all my interactions very solid since its either they'll continue chasing til I'm ready or I friend zone them causing them to want me more.
Damn man, I just joined this community and your leaving needy guys like me?  lol

Would sure like to see you stay to give more insights man...
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roadrally

Trusted Member

Join Date: 10/12/2009 | Posts: 1922

 YOOOO
If your friend is hot. You can say drink wine at my place. Then you dont even have to drink. Women are not logical creatures. Really wierd but you can say wine, then not even drink it. lol
__________________
I just want to enjoy amazing girls. Crazy what sort of journey ive embarked on pursuing this quest.

My adventures in Dallas - 2013
 My adventures in Austin - 2012 
  Tyler/Julien, Honolulu Bootcamp July 2011 Tyler hotseat2 x5 (2011-2012) Alex hotseat x2 (2013)
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Me-vs-Me

Me-vs-Me

Trusted Member

Join Date: 05/18/2010 | Posts: 1332

 I know what you mean. For you it's that you have taken so much effort and gotten back so little. For me it's huge frustration that I am not taking action and having AA but if I did I KNOW I would be getting results. There have been many nights I have come home and thought that I am the worst out there not deserving a name of a man. That no matter what I do my mental blocks won't let me approach women. I know what it means just on a different angle. 

But you have written here that you have had many good days also, days when it has been fun and motivating. Times like when you got laid, times when you got blowjobs. Think about those times. It means it IS possible, that you ARE capable of doing it. You have done it before so, you can do it again. I used to think that is not in my reality, not even possible that I would be kissing a hot girl or even date her. But it happened, I fucked the relationships up but I dated 2 really hot girls. Out of my reality.. but every time I feel like a looser.. I think about that and know that anything is possible. There is a poem I really like. 

“If you think you are beaten, you are,
If you think you dare not, you don’t
If you like to win, but you think you can’t,
It is almost certain you won’t.

“If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost
For out of the world we find,
Success begins with a fellow’s will —
It’s all in the state of mind.

“If you think you are outclassed, you are,
You’ve got to think high to rise,
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

“Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the man WHO THINKS HE CAN!”


and also “There is no sun without shadow, and it is essential to know the night. In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”

As for pratical advice: think about why are you doing this stuff? Are you really a slave of sex? I am pretty sure I can play hide and seek with my Sir Prince Williams every night. In fact, I am gonna do it after finishing this post :D The thing is, why do you want women? Do you want them because it makes you feel like a better person, like more valuable? Do you want the girl to fill some whole in you? Or do you want her because it would be SOOOO awesome and fun to just tease her and laught together? I know I want them because of the last one. I might be the master at approaching but generally I am enjoying myself when I am around girls because that's what it's about, I am enjoying MYSELF.. and I am enjoying their company.. but it's still all about me, I am making stupid jokes, I am teasing them, I am making socail faux pas.. it's not about content, it's not about shittest, it's not about frame control.. it's just pure EXPRESSION. And pure expression is YOU! Having the time of your like is about YOU! 
So my advice, really.. pleas, start enjoying yourself, start being authentic, say things you want, that makes you feel more fun, even if it might fuck up the set or make you look like an idiot. Even the pua teachers say that if your not having fun doing it then you are doing it wrong. Believe me, if you start enjoying yourself the results will come. I believe in you bc you seam really cool guy, I would totally hang out with you. Btw, ur english in the videos is really good, you talked like a native speaker. Remember, EXPRESSION!
__________________
My Field Reports Thread Me-vs-Me - New Hope
Let Go!
Focus On Success!
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TOOBAD

TOOBAD

Trusted Member

Join Date: 10/31/2006 | Posts: 1242

If it was easy - everybody would be doing it mate.

We all feel like giving up sometimes - it's normal. Don't worry it will pass. Just don't obsess so much over the results - just do it for the enjoyment - then there's nothing to worry about. That's when the results will come anyway.

You're doing great - a real inspiration for everyone here :) 

Good luck with the Gym - go hard or go home! 
__________________
  TOOBAD *Parental Advisory* Awesome Adventures Ahead - A Journal - http://www.rsdnation.com/node/137867 Alexander~ Sydney Bootcamp of Unproportionate Glory - Feb 26-28 - [/u][u]http://www.rsdnation.com/node/149072
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detourxl~

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/01/2009 | Posts: 651

 Chinaboy - I think we did bootcamp with alex around the same time.

I know you are following Natural Instincts Method hard, and it sucks if you're not getting results.

But here's the thing. YOU ARE FORGETTING WHAT ALEX HAS TAUGHT YOU ON BOOTCAMP.

Remember the first thing ... I AM ENOUGH!

He openly admits that Natural Instincts method will not work without this. This is the foundation.

Alex explains it in a lot of ways. But ultimately it's what Tyler describes in the Blueprint. BEING NOT DOING.

You have to be that cool, attractive alpha guy FIRST.

You have to truly believe you are enough (i.e. You are the coolest, most attractive guy in the world - this is massively paraphrasing Alex, but I've phrased it like this for it to sink home to you)

To change the way hot girls think about you, YOU NEED TO FIRST CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK ABOUT YOURSELF.

If you don't think that you are a fucking cool, attractive guy Why the hell would the girl?

This is why you are feeling needy. You feel you are taking value because you feel you are not enough.

I would PM Alex if I was you, it's important that you change your belief structure about how you view yourself. Unfortunately, there are no shortcuts. But persistent, diligent, effort is required.

If you keep doing the same things, you will keep getting the same resutls. You are not happy with your results at the moment, so come at it from a different ANGLE!

You cannot cheat the system. To get the hottest girls, you cannot be this mediocre guy. You have to be a awesome motherfucker. What makes you an awesome motherfucker?

SIMPLE = YOU BELIEVE DEEPLY THAT YOU ARE AN AWESOME MOTHERFUCKER.

Hope this helps. Mate- there are always blocks on the road to success. I'm facing a massive one right now. As long as you get up more times than you fall, then you can succeed.
__________________
"let the game be beautiful" Ryan~

MY PRE BOOTCAMP JOURNAL - a very honest account of a guy trying to transform this area of his lifehttp://www.rsdnation.com/node/176546

ALEXANDER BOOTCAMP REVIEW - Oslo, September 2011 http://www.rsdnation.com/node/200440

POST BOOTCAMP JOURNAL - holding myself accountable, seeing how far I can go. http://www.rsdnation.com/node/201364
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