THE FORUMS

August 14th, 2018
ChinaBoy~ 1.0
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Teuton

Senior Member

Join Date: 02/07/2012 | Posts: 226

What kind of direct openers are you using?In my experience the more direct you are('you are really hot', 'I love your legs') the better to have everything together in order to not get blown out(state, tonality, fashion, face). When I go with more semi-direct('you have a cute face', 'I love your style') I can be more sloppy and still open 
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CBAABC

Trusted Member

Join Date: 02/20/2009 | Posts: 1692

 @Andre: Yea, sometimes it´s the nervous smile...but sometimes it´s like the smile with the puppy dog eyes. Yep, sometimes I tease them with breaking rapport (calibrated, not yelling like a retard).

 @Teuton: "Hey, I know this is unusual, but I thin you are cute, so I had to meet you/I´d be disappointed at myself for the whole day if I wouldn´t have approached you."

Then ask them what are they doing right now, talk about hobbies, if they are young so I guess their grade (1th, 2nd, 3rd, 4th or uni), etc...

I think I need to at least stay in the set as long as possible when I find those girls...cuz some are willing to talk to me for sometime but my wing is kinda dependent...so we agreed on no instadates.

Probably the results from daygame come mostly from those longer sets...cuz 3-5 min isn´t the best. Time is your ally.

ChinaBoy
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roadrally

Trusted Member

Join Date: 10/12/2009 | Posts: 1922

Flaking to me seems unavoidable. I was doing beach game in set with girls for one hour or two. Bounced them a couple places. They would still flake me. I think you have to remain free from outcome even though you know you will probably never see the girls again, and even when you call her up to figure out the day2
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I just want to enjoy amazing girls. Crazy what sort of journey ive embarked on pursuing this quest.

My adventures in Dallas - 2013
 My adventures in Austin - 2012 
  Tyler/Julien, Honolulu Bootcamp July 2011 Tyler hotseat2 x5 (2011-2012) Alex hotseat x2 (2013)
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CBAABC

Trusted Member

Join Date: 02/20/2009 | Posts: 1692

 Probably it´s from making them uncomfortable...cuz when you approach girls, especially with a direct opener a lot of girls will be intimidated by you and feel uncomfortable and with time and good mindset and behavior she´s slowly relax and get comfortable around you...

Cuz probably the girl´s is thinking "he made me uncomfortable when he approached my, why would I want to meet him again?"

14.2.2012 Daygame


I dunno why...but even after getting enough sleep (7+) I am still very tired, lack energy and feel very sleepy...this is really fucking up my productivity.

Also today I felt like shit...so decided against actively going out to daygame.

1st approach was on my way to school...I saw this hot blonde, approached her, I think I made her uncomfortable, probably good to take a step back, statement of empathy (I am scaring you, you look nervous, etc.), she told me that she has a BF after a few mins talking to her...I think it was a lie and that she said it just to get rid of my for intimidating her.

Then at school I read this new article from Alex, realised that a lot of times it was me scaring the girls away and not noticing that she´s quiet and attentive and that I just need to be patient and more empathetic (less intense).

2nd approach. I am talking with my buddies in a tram and notice this very cute red head...but didn´t thought about her...I got off the tram and see her also getting out. She goes to the traffic lights, I see her, I am all nervous, don´t feel good, having negative self talk. I approach her directly.

We talk, have some commonalities, I like her, I tell her that she´s kinda shy and also that I am probably intimidating her, blame it on my nationality...just statements of empathy.

I qualify her on her friendliness, get the number, ask if she can cook. No. "You really don´t know how to cook?" In a BR, kinda teasing way...

Victories:
-Pushed myself, really did not wanted to approach
-Solo approaches

Conclusion:
-2 approaches
-1 number

Lessons:
-Use a lot of statements of empathy
-Be less intimidating
-Notice when girls are quiet and attentive
-Time is your ally so spend as much time with the girl as possible
-Stop overthinking. You are enough
-Less high fiving...I occasionally do it with some girls...always get a nervous laugh.

Another golden post on RSDnation. Highly recommended.

BTW: I am going back to Primal way of eating...to deal with the acne and my lack of energy (sleepiness)

Also doing something from the book How To Raise Your Self Esteem by Nathaniel Branden.

ChinaBoy
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TheRoyalFlush

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 194

 Hey man,

Have to give you props about your dedication. Good shit, for real.

I have to say something thats been bugging me though, not just with you, but one of the main pu dogmas often preached.  

I was exactly like this when I started ( well, nowhere near as intense haha) this whole "approach set after set after set" mindset is fucking you up.  Instead of looking at a cute girl as a "set" try to view it as a cute girl you want to fuck.  Seems intuitive, but in my experiece PU made me fetishize "game" over actually meeting a cool girl.  

Why not take a break...  often times taking a break will allow you to internalize alot of what you been practicing  then start again fresh.  When you go back into it, try to let the girl(s) pull you in.  IOW, dont force yourself to approach just for the sake of approaching, approach with the intent on connecting with a potentially really cool person.

Hope this helps
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TheRoyalFlush

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 194

 Hey man,

Have to give you props about your dedication. Good shit, for real.

I have to say something thats been bugging me though, not just with you, but one of the main pu dogmas often preached.  

I was exactly like this when I started ( well, nowhere near as intense haha) this whole "approach set after set after set" mindset is fucking you up.  Instead of looking at a cute girl as a "set" try to view it as a cute girl you want to fuck.  Seems intuitive, but in my experiece PU made me fetishize "game" over actually meeting a cool girl.  

Why not take a break...  often times taking a break will allow you to internalize alot of what you been practicing.  When you go back into it, try to let the girl(s) pull you in.  IOW, dont force yourself to approach just for the sake of approaching, approach with the intent of connecting with a potentially really cool person.

Hope this helps
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Cat

Cat

Trusted Member

Join Date: 12/03/2010 | Posts: 2303

masterson12 wrote:
Chinaboy

Honestly

I'm just getting the impression that RSD principles just don't cut it for you and you should just find another style

RSD has good stuff doesn't mean it's for everyone

You've taken 2 fucking bootcamps and have been traveling the world on your own

There are three things
1) You aren't ready for this and you don't really want it even though you think you do
2) You have some ridiculous issues personally that you might need a shrink for
3) RSD just doesn't cut it for you
4) You have entitlement issues


I think you should take a break from this whole pick up thing rethink things and come back to it at a later time to be honest

This is retarded bullshit and I wont have any of it.

FUCK THAT GUY.  HE DONT KNOW SHIT.

Dude.

This is a hard thing you are learning.  You have a lot of excuses you could use.  You dont. 

Be proud of yourself.  

You are becoming a man.
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Full_intent~

Trusted Member

Join Date: 03/28/2009 | Posts: 1263

 Exactly..Im following chinaboys journal and he is getting # and makeouts, no lays but that will come. Also I think some guys here confuse their freebees with getting laid consistently. China boy is going for the latter and I have no doubt he will succeed in it looking at his dedication.
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CBAABC

Trusted Member

Join Date: 02/20/2009 | Posts: 1692

 To be completely honest...Yes, I do have innergame issues. Taking steps to improve it. Reading and doing exercises from Nathaniel Branden´s books.

But on the otherhand...you have a lot of fucked up men who fuck a lot of chicks, well they probably are not quality chicks...but still. Bad innergame doesn´t have to mean zero pussy.

Giving up pickup does NOT cross my mind...I have already taken the red pill and there´s no going back. Because if I cannot persevere with pickup, how am I going to achieve my fitness, financial, health goals?

Failure to persist with pickup=failure to get also other areas of my life handled...So it´s either get my life handled or commit suicide. Hahaha, being intense, but hey at least I am very motivated.

Soooooo...of course I keep going smile

Frustration arised at everything I set out to do. The journey has bumps.

I remembered how tough weight gain was, puking, constant feeling of nausea, frustration when hitting a plateau. Internet marketing, not knowing what to do is the biggest road block. Pickup and the plateaus...Well, it´s a part of life.

One thing I noticed that I am not acknowledging my value...I am so much higher value then other men or girls. I am a man of action, I am courageous, I have been through some emotional bullshit (frustrations from working towards my goals, rejections, etc.) so that makes me emotionally strong...All these things are making me high value.

I chose to have these traits but on the fundamental level I don´t even need to be courageous, taking action, etc...Because "I am enough."

ChinaBoy
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Tezer

Tezer

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/14/2011 | Posts: 973

Maybe it's time you take a good look at Brad's extreme self love post on his blog. Get more narcissistic chinaboy, that's what i meant when i said you're too much of a nice guy.

You came across as an intimidating try hard kid at first to these girls, now like Jeffy said earlier the pedulum has swung and you're a wimp. Find the balance; be provocative, and lead physically, emotionally and verbally.

Go back to self amusing too, but don't say inane bullshit you don't give a fuck about like "omg i love bananas" unless you actually do. Just have more fun, be more narcissistic and show them that you love your life and they might have an opportunity to be a part of it. Most of these things i haven't emotionally understood yet, but we all know it on an intellectual level. Fuck the naysayers, keep going, you're making small victories and that's good enough. I haven't got laid from this yet either and have been in it for 4 months but Alex is right...patience is the most important frame to have and express.
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